Biography Books

I've had this book lying around for a while (re-gifted to me by a friend) and honestly never expected to read it. It being summer, though, I thought a book about racing sled dogs in Alaska would be an interesting idea. I honestly don't really like dogs and have never really read anything by Gary Paulsen, so my expectations were not high, to say the least. I loved this book, however, and found myself laughing out loud during several parts -- pretty much whenever he gets dragged behind the sled as the dogs go racing away out of control (which seems to happen pretty frequently). The book is not all humor, however, and has some rather unhappy parts as well.

My only criticism would be that the book is much too short. I would have enjoyed reading it if it were twice as long.

I read this book a few years ago, and it practically had me rolling on the floor laughing at times. Finally got it for myself to own, and it's still every bit as good. Gary Paulsen has a wonderful way with words, and is an excellent storyteller. I wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone.

One of the most entertaining books I have ever read. After reading one of the other reviews where the criticism was the authors lack of writing skills, for-gedda-bout-it. This book wasn't meant for your English Lit class. It's about one crazy dude's journey. It's funny, it's gritty, it's real, and if you're a dog lover, it's both happy and sad. I give it 10 thumbs up (ok, so I'm "all thumbs").

Very disappointing book. Boring, lots of padding. Poor and repetative story line. Not well written. Couldn't even read it to the end which I'm sad about as I love books and don't give up easily.

This book is outstanding.

Some of it is written in the manner of a tall tale, so I had moments when I doubted the narrator's credibility. But then I thought about it. Who cares! It's funny, heartbreaking, and uplifting. "Fine madness" is the point, after all.

Some people may think this is a stretch, but I see this book as a healthy mixture of Hemingway's prose, Faulkner's yarns, and an enthusiasm for animals

This book is going to stay with me for a long time, and for that reason, I recommend it to a broad range of readers.

You will enjoy this book.

From: www.BasilAndSpice.com
Author & Book Views On A Healthy Life!

Book Review: How Not to Die: Surprising Lessons on Living Longer, Safer, and Healthier from America's Favorite Medical Examiner (Crown Pub., 2008) by Jan Garavaglia, M.D.

A FirstLook Review

Dr. Jan Garavaglia is also known as Dr. G: Medical Examiner on the Discovery Channel's hit series. In real life she is a forensic pathologist in District 9 of Orange County, Florida. Her district sees about 1100 cases (bodies) a year. She determines the cause of death.

The purpose of How Not To Die lies in the fact that most medical examiners' labs in the United States see deaths for the following reasons:

* 10 % are homicides
* 40% are premature natural deaths
* 40% from accidents
* 10% are suicides

Dr. G writes, "There are other actions you might not be aware of that can save your life." Though many of us believe in an appointed time of death, Dr. G believes that fate lies with genetics and luck, and "a lot of us make our own bad luck."

Following upon the heels of her successful television show with this book, Dr. G hopes to alert society to the benefits of forensic pathology. This science allows doctors to warn us about ways to save our lives. Using actual case studies and sometimes graphic scientific descriptions, Dr. G motivates the reader into health and safety contemplation. She adds various lists and data to improve the reader's comprehension--for example:

* 10 Questions to Ask a New Doctor
* Symptoms Not to be Ignored and What They Could Mean
* Screening Tests Needed for Women and Men
* Commonly Confused Medications
* How Not to Die in the Hospital
* Finding a Trustworthy Hospital

Reading How Not to Die reminded me of a young boy who went into our local hospital for ear tubes several years ago. He died on the operating table. Why? A medical mishap occurred when a drug, which should not have even been in the room, was mistakenly given to him.

Dr. G writes that life is precious and death has taught her to live a healthier, happier life. Her 10 major lessons out of which the books evolves:

1. Know your numbers: Body Mass Index, blood glucose level, blood pressure, LDL and HDL cholesterol
2. Listen to your body--seek attention if something doesn't feel right
3. Follow medical directions from your doctor and those on any medications. To avoid injury follow instructions.
4. Practice good hygiene--wash your hands. Protect yourself when necessary.
5. Drive carefully--wear a seat belt. Observe road rules.
6. Just say no to smoking, illegal drugs, drinking too much.
7. Watch your step--think before you act.
8. Have a good time. Include humor and laughter in your life.
9. Don't go it alone. Form close relationships and live a longer life. "Caring for others helps us care for ourselves and brings added meaning to our lives."
10. Remember what matters. Set priorities by putting family first. What did you do with your life's years?

How Not To Die is a book written from a scientific viewpoint, but explained so that the general public can understand what happens inside a forensic pathologist's lab. It's fascinating. Dr. Garavaglia is truly a captivating author, drawing us in, and then sounding an alarm of warning.

Did you know:

The most common cause of death while traveling is a heart attack. And 30% of people who die suddenly from a heart attack have no prior symptoms.

Each year 800,000 American seek medical attention for dog bites, half of them children.

Chewing tobacco (snuff) contains 28 carcinogens.

A motorcyclist is 37 times more likely to die in a motor vehicle crash than someone in a car.

Nearly 1/3 of adults take 5 or more medications, putting them at greater risk of a medical interaction with other drugs, food, alcohol, herbs, or tobacco.

An excess of 500-600 milligrams of caffeine each day can cause anxiety, nausea, and heart palpitations.

The most commonly abused prescriptions drugs Dr. G sees: methadone, oxycodone, benzodiazepines, hydrocodone, fentanyl.

How Not to Die is not the usual wellness book. It's a wake up call to what we're all in denial about: death. Yes, we'll all die one day, but about 80% of these cases could potentially be prevented until a later date in life. Read the book. Save your life.

5 Stars

I greatly enjoyed this book, which gave a truly unique and rare perspective into female life in early Colonial New England. Thoroughly absorbing the chapters is truly co-dependent on simultaneously reading through the footnotes at the back, so know in advance that there will be a lot of flipping back and forth, but that this will enrich and enhance the interpretation and absorbability of the diary. I love firsthand historical accounts, and now have a renewed appreciation for early colonial life, particularly that of the female voice in this era, and even moreso women in childbirth in rural Maine in the winter (!). It almost seems voyeuristic to read Martha's diary, knowing that she likely never intended for it to be read by anyone else, let alone 220+ years later, but her voice is fluid, peaceful, humble, and dutiful to her family and her society. If you enjoyed this, also rent or buy the PBS documentary video of it by the same name, which has period re-enactments, and live narration by the author as she explains the journey of putting this work together. A fabulous read, ripe for discussion particularly in examining the parallels between this life so long ago, and our own today.

I know this is a well respected book but in all honesty I found it to be very repetitious and boring. There are only so many times you can listen to complaints about colic and very similar sounding births before you get bored to tears. While writing the history of ordinary people is important, Ballard lived a boring and uneventful life. Unless you want to hear about the stories of dozens of births steer clear. And i'm a phd student used to dry books.

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich's A Midwifes' Tale: The Life of Martha Ballard, Based on Her Diary, 1785-1812 demonstrates that an ordinary person's life can shed light and produce a more rich historiographical picture of a time period than solely focusing on prominent figures and events of history. The main thrust of this work is to debunk previous opinions of the diary that found the work not very useful in presenting important matters of historical interest of colonial times such as historian James W. North's comment "brief and with some exceptions not of general interest" or Charles Elventon Nash's comment ""trivial and unimportant...being but a repetition of what has been recited many times" and concluded "Like many diaries of farm women, it is filled with trivia about domestic chores and pastimes." (pp. 8,9) Ulrich debunks these previous interpretations of Martha Ballard's diary by showing that the diary exposes the social history of not only women in rural colonial times but addresses the bigger picture of colonial life in general through the daily activities of herself, her family, and neighbors in the community. Ulrich compares Martha Ballard's diary with three other documents from the community and time period Martha Ballard lived in. These documents were specifically from Daniel Cony who was a medical doctor, William Howard a wealthy businessman, and Henry Sewall who was the town clerk. She uses these documents to fill in information not mentioned in Martha Ballard's diary and also as a counterbalance of the men's perspective of events in Hallowell and what they felt was important to document verses a women's perspective of what Martha Ballard thought was worth documenting in her diary. Ulrich then extrapolates from these sources an interpretive picture of colonial life. On the one hand the heavy interpretive nature of this book forces the reader to wonder if this interpretation is close to the mark of accuracy or flawed in someway. On the other hand Ulrich heavily used other documented evidence to support her interpretation which lends credibility to her interpretation. An amateur historian would have a difficult time painting this picture of colonial life; however, Ulrich seems to do this with great expertise and eloquence. The expertise and eloquence is obviously derived from her academic career which has focused on the social history of women during the United States colonial era.

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich's academic life has consisted of previously being a professor of American history at the University of New Hampshire and is currently a Phillips Professor of Early American history at Harvard University. Ulrich's main research area has been in the fields of early American social history, women's history, and material culture. Some of Ulrich's work in this area include Good Wives: Image and Reality in the Lives of Women in Early New England, 1650-1750 (1982), A Midwife's Tale: The Life of Martha Ballard Based on Her Diary, 1785-1812 (1990), In The Age of Homespun: Objects and Stories in the Making of an American Myth (2001), and Well-behaved Women Seldom Make History (2007). Ulrich certainly has over twenty years of research in the area of social history in the colonial era to make her an authoritative author on the subject and this is demonstrated in her work A Midwife's Tale in which she not only used evidence from documents from that particular community in the time period, but also used her historical imagination, (sometimes used to heavily), to interpret the diary entries to give a vivid depiction of both Martha Ballard's life and colonial rural life in general.

Ulrich formatted each chapter by presenting excerpts from Martha Ballard's diary and then spent the remainder of each chapter comparing these entries with the other written accounts from that time and using an interpretive approach to decipher what the significance of Martha Ballard's entries meant with regards to the life of Martha Ballard and the community she lived in. Ulrich didn't include the entire diary of Martha Ballard in her book and selectively pulled excerpts from different parts to illustrate the different social factors playing out in the daily life of Martha and the Hallowell community, but did include other entries from the dairy within her evaluation to support her interpretation. Obviously Ulrich could not have included all the entries of Martha Ballard's diary and analyzed all sections due to the constraints a book length imposes, however, some interpretations were based on an entire reading of the diary and the reader is not privy to this broader context of information. Ulrich acknowledges this fact when she stated, "Someday the dairy may be published. What follows in no sense is a substitute for it; it is an interpretation, a kind of exegesis." (p. 34) Ulrich admittedly states this is only an interpretation in which Ulrich seems to read in between the lines and/or provides an interpretation based on what was not said verses what was explicitly said due to the fact the entries were brief, mostly lacked an opinionated tone, and were mostly matter of fact daily details. Even though the other sources of evidence backing her interpretations were thorough there is no true way to know if Ulrich's interpretations are mostly correct, somewhat correct, or completely flawed unless the reader had read the entire dairy and other documents she consulted herself. This leaves the reader to just take Ulrich's word for it that her interpretation of the diary entries are as accurate as they can be. Ulrich in some cases may have used her historical imagination a bit excessively, but overall she presents enough evidence from other sources to make her interpretation for the most part as credible as it can be and never the less very enjoyable to read.

Please disregard the 2 stars in the rating. It is a 5 star book. The system automaticaly put 2 stars and would not let me change it.

I can't say enough about how wonderful this book is and how much I enjoyed reading it. This book would be a wonderful gift for anyone in the medical profession. It is a fascinating account of an amazing woman facing the challenges of life in early Maine as well as the every day facts of life necessary for survival. She contributed immensely to life itself as she was the midwife to hundreds of, if not more, women and the birth of their children.

For myself, I used it as a genealogical tool because that is the area of the country where all of my ancestors came from. It is facinating to know the trials and tribulations as well as the joys of our ancestors.

Priscilla Paul
Memphis

Interesting diary of a Maine midwife. Not the easiest read but enjoyable.

This book brought tears to my eyes. We know that Mychal Judge's life was tragically ended on September 11, 2001 but this book told his life's story in a very real and touching way. The lessons of Mychal Judge's life will stay with you for a lifetime.

That's what this book clearly is - a labor of love, a probing biography by a Daily News columnist. The author delves deeply into Judge's Irish upbringing, the Catholic church, the Fire Dept, and New York City politics. A Pulitzer-worthy book.

Daly, Michael. "The Book of Mychal: The Surprising Life and Heroic Death of Father Mychal Judge", Thomas Dunne Books, 2008.

A National Hero

Amos Lassen

Father Mychal Judge became a hero after his death. He died while he was helping victims at the World Trade Center after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. He was the chaplain for the New York City Fire Department and he soon became the supreme symbol of those who put their lives at risk so they could help others and he paid the highest price. He was loved by his fireman and was always ready to listen to anyone who needed to talk. He not only was minister to firemen but to gay New Yorkers as well even though many of his firemen had no idea that he was gay and did not learn that until he was dead. Father Judge had problems with reconciling his private life with his public life and this was discovered in a journal he began keeping in 1999. We read that he yearned to speak out but he felt that coming out would cost him his ministry, his friends and his standing in the Catholic Church.
Michael Daly, who was Judge's friend and who wrote this book, had access to the journals and gives us the thoughts of Judge.
Judge's life was gripping from being a youth in Depression Brooklyn to his Catholic upbringing. The last section of the book hits hard as it deals with September 11 and the days following. I love the way we get to see Father Judge as he tries to balance his work with the fire department and his life as a gay man especially during the 1990's when New York City was engaged in a war between the church and the gay community. Daly gives us a peek into Judge's private life as well and with great sensitivity. We read of his involvement with the AIDS crisis, when he bucked his church's official policy on homosexuality. We also learn of the priest's ten year love affair with a much younger man but Daly says that it was never consummated because of the Church.
What makes the book so special is reading about Judge's inner thoughts and turmoils as well as the love his fireman felt for him. He was quite a man and Michael Daly has done both the man and his memory justice.

The Art of Learning. The title is presumptuous and not a good fit for the content of the book.
Whatever your endeavor, if you are of a like mind, you will benefit from reading this book. Truth is, even if you don't benefit, it's a very engaging and interesting read. To the right people I always say: "You'll love it!!" I don't recommend it at all to the others. I've given away several copies, including my own and I expect to give away many more.

The author was the subject of the book/movie Searching for Booby Fisher. Not only is he a National Chess champion, he is also a martial arts champion. He has a very good read on what it takes to get to the ultimate levels of achievement in pretty well everything. I found tremendous insight in this book, and a heightened appreciation for the dedication to detail and performance needed at these levels. I really enjoyed his discussion on "chunking' information and "carved neural pathways" as tools that we all use to become better and better at everything we do. He also gives a very clear description on the stress and recovery model used in high performance training. As ever, I appreciate an easy to read book that lays it out so clearly that even a thick headed Swede like my self can make sense of it all. I appreciate the line, " You need to know what good feels like in order to achieve it again and again." We call that Knowing what the grass looks like when it is cut."

In the subtitle of "The Art of Learning," Josh Waitzkin aptly describes his book as "An Inner Journey to Optimal Performance." It is about his own life's learning processes developed during the mastery of two disciplines. One is intellectual: chess. The other is physical: the martial arts form of Tai Chi Chuan. In the writing of the book, he demonstrates that he is an expert in the process known as "mastery learning" as well as a highly accomplished storyteller and teacher. You'll notice I've emphasized the word "mastery." That is because I want to be very clear. The book is not about accelerated learning or quick tricks for memorization. It won't help you cram for an exam and get an easy "A." It is about learning how to learn. About learning at a depth that the learning becomes a part of you. About developing enduring knowledge, skills or expertise. And about using that learning to perform at high levels.

If you want to know how to learn simply anything -- any subject, any skill, this is the book. It reads like a novel and teaches as if it were wired into your brain. It contains the most accessible description of the process of learning from experience I've ever seen, including the need for awareness, intention, attention, noticing details, analyzing, testing assumptions, planning new responses, testing behavior, honing, refining and practice, practice, practice. (Considering that I used to teach Psychology of Learning at the graduate level, I've seen quite a few descriptions of the learning process.)

And like a good novelist would, Waitzkin doesn't just tell -- he shows. You can bet someone has the "know-how" if he also has the "show-how." Moreover, he adds something you would rarely see in a textbook on learning processes: he uses the context of real life and actual experience to show the connection between learning and emotion, how to avoid its pitfalls and how to use it to your advantage. It is a very practical and usable book.

Please note, however, that although I stress how well he weaves his teachings into a story so that you learn them implicitly, he also has a great deal of quite explicit explanation. You don't have to guess what he means. The book could be used as a textbook. It is just more entertaining than a usual textbook.

"The Art of Learning" belongs on the bookshelves of anyone who wants to learn well and deeply, but most certainly it belongs on the bookshelves of psychologists, educators, trainers, coaches, students and all others who study "learning how to learn," right alongside of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's various books on "flow" and George Leonard's "Mastery."

Josh Waitzkin is absolutely incredible. He has done so much at such a young age. My wife (Jane) and my two children (Cranny and Keet) went to the 25th anniversary conference of SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted)([...]) . Josh spoke at this conference about how he has achieved the success he has achieved in both chess and martial arts. It was clear that his intellectual abilities are exceptional and he is capable of learning to skills quite quickly. The one thing I learned more than anything is that when one learns a new skill, it is important to take a part of that skill and master it. Once the part of the skill is mastered, the rest of the skill becomes that much easier to master. Many of us when we are learning new skills try to do too much at one time. This one piece of advice has helped me immensely. It has also helped me give advice to others including my children and clients. Josh's book outlines his journey towards the mastery of his passions. It is quite an amazing read and will be an inspiration to us all. I highly recommend telling Josh's story to your children or to the children you work with.

Steven E. Curtis, Ph.D.
Understanding Your Child's Puzzling Behavior: A Guide for Parents of Children with Behavioral, Social, and Learning Challenges

"Invest in Loss" is probably the best line and best principle to take away from this book. Although it is a universal philosophical principle the author highlights it well and gives good examples of how it helped him in his training through Chess and Push Hands.

I'd also add that this is probably one of the few if only principles that support the title of the book. The invest in loss ideal is something I have incorporated into my own teaching and learning and recommend others interested in moving forward adopt this same principle, but you do not need this book to tell you how to do it.

I would have enjoyed more about Push Hands when the author made the leap to that section of the book. Even though there are 3 main parts, the book is essentially divided into two - chess, and push hands. Unfortunately the author missed the mark here as the push hands section spends a majority of the pages bringing up the authors chess experience and regurgitating the first half of the book rather than spending more time discussing his push hands training and experiences.

This book, simply put, is nothing but the author pandering to his own ego and not at all a book about learning or how to improve your learning. I made it to page 209 out of 262 and couldn't bring myself to finish another 50 pages of the same text reborn time and time again.

I recommend you pass this one up or you'll be investing in loss through your wallet!

As a teacher I used this book in a Continuation High School to get students to read and write and draw out their experiences. In a classroom where students wanted only to "kick it" until the bell rang vignettes from this book made for a powerful draw for learning. Originally I bought 20 hardback copies. At the end of teaching there I had lost count of how many copies I had purchased. It was one of my most stolen books. I always wanted to meet him at Martinez' Bookstore In Santa Ana, California, but I never knew he was coming until he'd left. Many of us are grateful to him .

It is a very interesting book. It makes me feel I don't want to stop reading it.

This book is a great book, very eye opening and wonderfully written.

I have to wondering though, throughout the book, what is going through the author's mind...

He complains that the police treated them poorly. They were CRIMINALS. If they weren't up to no good at that SPECIFIC point in time, they were ABOUT to do something terrible or definitely had already DONE something terrible.

I don't understand how the author calls the police... "rioting police... in a murderous frenzy..." HELLO, you were doing illegal drugs in a public place, your friends stole something from a liquor store, then a mob started banging on the doors of the liquor store to let them in - am I missing something? Can you really blame the police for acting as they did? You just committed several crimes! The police were doing there job and acting defensively when KNOWN gang members committed crimes...

Then the author complains that he was thrown into an adult jail cell, with murderers and rapists, despite being a juvenile and too young to be in that specific jail. OK, fine, but earlier in the book, he was talking about hanging OUT with FRIENDS of his while they were RAPING UNCONSCIOUS WOMEN. He had SHOT people before, held guns to innocent peoples' heads during robberies. WHY IS BEING SURROUNDED BY MURDERERS AND RAPISTS *SUDDENLY* SO offensive to him? He wasn't old enough to be in an adult facility, but he was old enough to do drugs, drive illegally, drink illegally, commit robberies at gun point. Who is the author kidding? He acts like the police somehow treated him so badly but he DESERVED it. He was a criminal! The worst kind of criminal.

i was intrigued by this book when i saw it in the store so i bought it. it was very educational for me as i never knew how bad things would really get in gang life. i grew up in the burbs and this was all very shocking to me. it was truthful, sad and awakening.

I had no choice when it came to reading this book. It was after all, required in my college english class in order to survive the masses of quizzes and essays. But I will say that although I did not want to read this book at first, once I read the first couple pages I was hooked. I no longer wanted to read it just because it was required, now I was reading it for pleasure. Although the book is strongly graphic especially on the sex parts, it is done in a most tasteful manner. As a young latina born and raised in America, I was very touched by what my people had gone through in the past, and it is knowledge I had ignored taking the liberty I have now for granted. I really recommend this book if you're up to take a good dose of eye opener.

A stunning story of a man who survived the horrors of concentration camps. He is a psychiatrist and developed his own theories and method of therapy called logotherapy. The book covers his experience in a concentration camp and the second half of the book explains his philosophy of logotherapy. Frankl says that the meaning of life is found in every moment of living; life never ceases to have meaning, even in suffering and death. He encourages his patients and readers to live a full life by looking to the future rather than reliving the past.

Quotation: "Self-transcendence of human existence: Being human always points, and is directed, to something, or someone, other than oneself - be it a meaning to fulfil or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself - by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love - the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself..."

Excellent read. Highly Recommended.

Just in case, if one wants to ascertain the level of endurance human beings possess, he needs to go no further than read through the experiences at concentration camps as recalled by a survivor - Viktor Frankl - in this book.

And considering that a will to survive does not manifest only in situations where life is at stake, physically, but at various stages in life, where even smallest of problems can seem mammoth and wreck havoc in making life miserable at psychological level, the lessons contained in this book have vast practical applications, when it comes to understanding our survival instinct.

The basic principle which differentiates a survivor from a loser is well highlighted by the following quote, which is often cited by the author in the book - 'The one who has a why to live can bear almost any how.'

I would highly recommend this book and would suggest re-reading it a few times because it would better enable on to grasp and internalize the importance of the subject addressed in this book and appreciate the viewpoint of the author.

I first read this book in college many years ago as I was working on my degree in psychology. An excerpt from it is in John McCain's autobiographical book, Faith of My Fathers: A Family Memoir. I was glad to be reminded of this book which I had not read in years. I found my old copy on the shelf but I am also glad to learn it is still available.

The comparison between Frankl and McCain as prisoners is striking. Both of them emphasize the basic human need for meaning and purpose. Both share incredible horrors of prison camp as well as the human ability to look beyond present circumstances, to keep the horrid memories from continuing as sources of torture years after the actual experiences.
We can apply this ability to many of the unfortunate experiences in our lives. It is not only an attitude of forgive and forget, it is the need to keep the horrors or smaller angers from continuing to torment us.

It is more than a little frightening that there are people who deny that the Holocaust even happened. I hope you read Frankl's book. Fully grasp the reality of his day and apply it to today's needs and problems.

This is a wonderful book to read merely because of it's main message. Read it and find out the meaning of the title.

I bought this book because I was searching for yet another book on workplace bullying and another book came up in my search based on Frankl's book. I read the customer reviews on that book and one reviewer said something to the effect of, "If you want to read a book based on Viktor Frankl's opinion of how to get along at a bad work environment (like a Nazi death camp), why don't you just read Frankl's book?" So, that's where I started. I read it. Twice. Then I got out my computer and typed in passages that had meaning to me so I could re-read them during difficult times. I compressed the entire book down to about 10 pages, single spaced. I must admit that I consider myself a negative, often depressed sort of person, mostly because my work situation is so demoralizing. I was amazed by Frankl's coping mechanisms on how to get along in a difficult situation; every day meant multiple incidents of having to choose the correct path to avoid death or worse, making the choice to give up on your own life (suicide). He went through 5 years of that and lived to tell about it. It is a must read for everyone, particularly when you are having the hardest time of your life. I could tell that if I had read it as a college student, it wouldn't have the same meaning as now, when I am 50 and have had many ups and downs. I see everything at such a deeper level and appreciated this book so much more than I would have if I were younger. Briefly, the lessons in the book written 50 years ago still apply today. Here they are: Let luck be your guide. It's not what you know, it's who you know. Network with the equivalent of a one-step-up lateral (not your own) middle manager and they will help you when they can. Schmooze. Be kind to others. Don't complain, it doesn't help. You can't fix, deal with or appeal to a sadist, so don't try. Avoid sadists at all costs. Keep your mouth shut unless asked for your opinion and then be short and to the point. Praise, even when praise isn't deserved. Keep criticisms to yourself. Be inconspicuous. Work hard for the sake of doing a good job. Fantasize for escape. Everything can be taken away from you except for your past, so relish in it. When something good happens to you, write it down (keep a gratitude journal). Don't do anything that compromises your own values so you won't have regrets. Be careful who you abuse today because tomorrow they may be your master. You are not your job, your title or your position. You are a unique person loved by others. The only thing in life that really matters is the people you love and the people who love and need you. Love shared is eternal. Treat everyone with respect. The meaning of life is not what life can do for you, but what life expects of you; how you make the world a better place with your presence. The purpose of life is not happiness. The purpose of life is discovering what you can contribute to it. Save a slice of bread (or whatever is the only material thing that matters to you when there is nothing left) for later when you are really depressed and it's the only thing left that can get you through that difficult moment. (For me it's chocolate and a dark beer at the same time.) Apathy is the signaling of the beginning of the end of one's life. Everyone that you respect and look up to has human failings. Even tough guys cry. Suffering without purpose is meaningless. The larger the suffering, the bigger the lesson. There's lots more in the book for you to discover and it's an easy read.

As a husband and father of two, I was intrigued with the title of this book. Is there a woman out there who would actually offer her man a full year of sex? I picked up this book with two thoughts in mind: 1) How did her husband get so lucky? and 2) How do I get my wife to read this book? I was soon to discover that this is not a "how to" book, and to be honest, I was a bit disappointed. But the more I read, the more interested I became. In fact, it was difficult to put down. Charla's observations and accounts are really quite humorous. There were a number of times when I couldn't help but laugh out loud because I'd been through similar situations. In fact, many of the trials and tribulations of her marriage hit extremely close to home (yes, my wife and I once had a heated discussion about whether Santa Claus wraps gifts or not). The more I read, the more I laughed and related. But tucked between the lines of humor is a sincere message--a marriage without regular intimacy is like two good friends raising kids together. And as we married folk know, a healthy dose of intimacy can improve an inconceivable (no pun) number of miscellaneous marital issues. Parents with kids realize that "alone time" in a marriage is a luxury that often gets a very low priority (behind soccer practice, scout meetings, and lawn care). Hey, this isn't supposed to be a guidebook for marital passion or an urban housewife's version of the Kama Sutra. It's a lighthearted look inside the marriage of a typical suburban wife and mother. It just so happens that the typical suburban husband and father can relate to it too. I really enjoyed this book. To be quite honest, I was sorry to come to the end of this one.

Easy to read- enjoyable to the last page. This book isn't so much about sex as it is about relationships, self confidence and how doing just one thing can snowball into all sorts of other wonderful feelings and experiences. I thought it was well written and perfectly tasteful- for all audiences. If you are looking for smut this is not the book for you. Charla is just one of us- juggling family, self, partner and dreams. Well done!!!! A must read!

Charla Muller's epigraph for 365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy is from dramatist Jean Anouilh: "To say yes, you have to sweat and roll up your sleeves and plunge both hands into life up to the elbows." Out of its context, Anouilh's quotation summarizes Charla Muller's attitude toward marital sex: It's a chore and a bore. That is why, on the occasion of her husband's 40th birthday, she, in the spirit of self-sacrifice, offers him what she calls "The Gift"--sex every day for the next year. After pages of overwrought mutual analysis about the implications, Brad Muller accepts. In one short chapter, the reader is introduced to what seems to be the most passionless marriage on the planet.

The rest of 365 Nights (give or take a few--mustn't have sex during menstruation, for example) rarely delves into sex or even intimacy, physical or emotional. Our most penetrating look into the Mullers' sex life comes when Charla says, "Wow, that was really nice" (or "yummy") and Brad says, "Could you pretend you're enjoying it?" to which Charla replies, "How 'bout you just close your eyes." Between these flashes of profound love, Charla tirelessly fills the reader in on her rather narrow view of relationships, marriage, parenting, being a working mother (she works two days a week), and how giving her husband what he wants ("The Gift") has somehow made them stronger as a couple. It's not the intimacy itself that seems to bring them closer together, but the sense of sacrifice and the willingness to work to overcome the obstacles--not only Charla's dislike of sex (which she seems to believe she shares with every married mother), but logistics such as work, children, activities, and the need for private time.

Perhaps married women with children who see their husbands as "sperm donors" and "providers," as Charla writes of some of her friends, will relate to her and her view of love, marriage, and life. Undoubtedly, many will find that she validates the sexual ennui that can set in during any long-term relationship. From my single, childless perspective, she offers no insights, not even as to the underlying reasons she makes every effort to avoid sex with the man she loves and why getting ready for sex means, "I just continue lying there" (prompting her husband to say, "Could you pretend you're interested in this?").

When the year of "The Gift" is over, Brad seems happy because he will continue to get sex more frequently (although not every day), and Charla is happy because her husband is more content and her marriage is more solid--and, to me, as free of passion as ever. Charla writes about some of the benefits of sex--it provides exercise and offers improved communication for example (she likes to talk to Brad about the mundane during the act, we learn). She mentions greater emotional intimacy, but she doesn't convey it or what it means. She touches on the surface of the issues, but is unable or is afraid to say anything meaningful beyond the obvious. While she lies back and gives "The Gift," she cannot bring herself to mention that she finds any physical pleasure or emotional joy in the act itself (other than that it's "nice"). She and Brad seem to be well suited to each other, but they could be brother and sister Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert from Anne of Green Gables for all the passion shown in their marriage--with or without sex.

Charla's perky style is annoying, and her values, which she assumes we all share, are painfully shallow. She disdains ugly mini-vans (and her beloved children's energy future) in favor of a "cool" SUV. A "polite feminist," she believes that it's a "rule" that women, and now men, must pluck their eyebrows (and any other hair that doesn't meet her concept of perfect grooming and appearance). She is surprised to learn she is pregnant after just a couple of months, calling herself "very fertile" (what does this make Brad?) and making one wonder if she never learned the reasons that contraception became such a hot topic for 19th century women. She abhors the idea of aging naturally and fantasizes about "slight tweaking" through plastic surgery until Brad says, "What will she [daughter] think if she sees her mother conforming to these bizarre societal standards?"--standards to which Charla would have us all make every effort to conform.

Charla presents herself as someone you should want to chat with over coffee about the vicissitudes of married suburban life; indeed, that's how this book came about. I couldn't. It's more than her overuse of words like "nice," "gal," and "girls" (this from a "polite feminist") or the wearisome banality of her endless reflections. She's one of those people--we all know at least one--who prattle nonstop without saying anything, leaving one feeling tired and empty--or energized, if that is your sort of thing.

365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy could have been a compelling story, but it would take a more interesting and thoughtful person than Charla Muller to grasp the topic and its nuances and to do it the justice it deserves.

This book, although it sounded good in theory, was not in practice. While the author has a good idea, she fails to come through. While we should be encouraging couples to work through their problems and be more intimate with one another, Charla Muller gives us women advice on how to "get out" of having sex. She doesn't enjoy the experiment, she is a prude, and frankly, I feel bad for her husband. This book basically throws women back in time. She makes it sound like we don't enjoy sex and it is a chore like any other. In doing something like this, she should have discovered she was wrong, and that sex is great. I recommend "Just Do It" tenfold over this book. It's more realistic. And they don't talk about their children during the sex.

I thought it was a great idea what she did, and I was really excited to read this book. But it was so boring! She barely talked about the sex, and rambled on and on about how she likes to cook, about her life, and barely discussed the impact the gift made on their sex life. I read the first half, felt bored to tears, and skipped to the epilogue where I got the gist of the entire book. The only reason she gets 2 stars for this book is because I loved the idea behind the gift and thought it was gutsy that she then wrote a book about it. I just wish the book had had more oomph.

Marvelyn shares the truth about being naive, just wanting to be loved and how one endures alot to find one's self. Her book shares a journey to God's Divine plan for her. A great read for everyone, especially young women!

First, I really enjoyed this book. There is nothing better than telling "The Naked Truth". When I get the chance to meet Ms. Marvelyn,I will give her a friendly hug because she is very special. I believe that she was placed here on earth to tell this story. Her story was very entertaining and educational at the same time. I watched her when she made an appearance on 106 and Park. I really admire Ms.Brown for sharing her personal life story with the whole world. This book was well worth the price at the bookstore. This book should be at every library around the world. This story is a prime example of how PEOPLE will turn their backs on you just when you need them most! It also shows how people will fight reality even when it means lying to loved ones. Even today in (2008), PEOPLE are still very uneducated about HIV and AIDS. It surprises me that so many adults fail to educated themselves on AIDS. The bottom line is that PEOPLE are so focused on LIFE and not the REALITY of it. Over all, I enjoyed this book and will continue to pass it along. THANKS MARVELYN

It is my belief that this book should be required reading for every teenager and their parent(s)and that they should sit down afterward to discuss the contents.

I can only imagine that it isn't easy trailblazing a path to erasing the stigma attached to being HIV+.

Marvelyn Brown is a very brave young women and I'm willing to bet that if you were to spend time talking with her she would say that she doesn't see herself as being brave but rather as someone telling the 'Truth' about her life.

I thought this book was remarkable and I praise Marvelyn Brown for coming forward so that she can educate women like myself. You won't want to put this book down.

This book should be on every teenager's reading list. I thank the author for sharing her story. This book can and will save lives.