Sex Relationships Books

After being with my husband for 7 years, we seem to row over the silliest and smallest thing. I knew my relationship is not going well. Having found this book on the internet, I decided to give it a try.

I have to say this book is purely based on research on what makes couples happy or unhappy. Communication is very important and I liked the "relationship bank account", which I found very true. I have applied the knowledge and recommendation and even after a week, my marriage has turned around for the best and we are enjoying a very fruitful relationship now.

It is a very good book for couples and I think it should be mandatory to people prior to marriage. I will certainly highly recommend it to friends and family.

Another good book : Joseph Bailey "Slowing down to the speed of love".

This book is based upon an innovative, revolutionary twenty-year study. It is a simple-to-understand and clearly-worded guide that provides you with straightforward, scientifically demonstrated techniques that can help you make your relationship work.

At the heart of the concepts presented by authors Clifford Notarius, Ph.D., and Howard Markman, Ph.D., is their "Better Talk" program. This program is unique among communication improvement practices. Better Talk builds upon the foundation set up in the introduction of the book. It permits couples to understand how to communicate using respect and shared understanding, especially when having conversations of a problem-solving nature. Instead of arguing with one another, couples discover how to work together to tackle their problems. Couples learn how to work on the same team, and to use constructive interaction instead of anger.

What truly stands out about this book is that instead of focusing on what makes a relationship fail, We Can Work It Out instead looks at what makes a couple succeed. To determine what the key elements of successful relationships actually are, the authors dedicated 20 years to studying relationships and what makes them work. Their key finding: A happy and successful relationship is based upon the couple's capacity to work through their differences, not actually on the individuals themselves.

By using diagnostic questionnaires, examples, and easy-to-understand explanations, We Can Work It Out very practically and realistically helps you to identify your problem areas and patterns, and to use the techniques outlined in the book in your own unique situation and relationship.

Though this book does tend to feel as though it is dating itself on occasion. The authors frequently refers to their findings and writing in the early 1990's. However, the lessons here are in no way obsolete. The findings of We Can Work It Out remain just as accurate, relevant, and current as they were when they were first printed.

This book provides you with a useable, optimistic, and realistic management approach for dealing with the issues troubling your relationship. It provides a levelheaded, sensible way to find your way back to the happiness you were once able to enjoy when your relationship was better fulfilling your needs.

This book has changed my life! It was a very emotional read for me, I read so many examples of relationship communication problems I had throughout my life. I closed up or withdrew when relationship problems surfaced. I was afraid to talk and held everything inside. The book explains communication difficulties, it tells you how to effectively work through them and also how to prevent it from happening in the future. The book relates to any relationship you're in, whether you're married or dating. I wish I found this book years ago, I didn't seek help until it was too late. I recently dated someone for a little over two years, we broke up once and got back together, but we had the same problems, poor communication. If I knew about this book sooner, I know my outcome would have changed! Don't make the same mistake I did and think it'll get better, read this book now to become a better person and learn how to effectively communicate with your mate.

This book is easy to read, easy to understand, and offers a lot of hope. It gives you real tools to use. I wish it had focused just a tiny bit more on how you can only take care of yourself and your own point of view and emotions - or perhaps it would have been nice if they recommended a companion book on that subject - since it is such a large factor in relating. But overall I'd say it's a great buy for anyone looking to find ways to start improving their communication with anyone, right away.

My husband and I separated after years and years of the same problems that we couldn't resolve. Realizing that perhaps it's not just what we are saying to each other but HOW we are saying it, I bought 6 books on communication. This was hands down the best one.

The first part of this book is a little slow, as it deals with research on couples and commonalities among happy and unhappy couples, blah, blah, blah. The 2nd and 3rd part of the book are the real meat of it. This book is excellent at not only helping you identfy the dysfunctional communication patterns you and your partner use, but also to determine WHY you use them. Most importantly, once you understand what NOT to do, this book tells you exactly what to DO in order to have successful communications with your partner. This book was an absolute eye-opener and my perception of my husband and his perspective has done a complete 180.

Now don't get me wrong, this book isn't going to do the work for you. You still have to commit to being open-minded enough to see YOUR faults in communication, not just be looking for everything wrong with your mate. However, I did see a lot of my mate in this book but instead of giving me ammo against him, this book really helped me understand him better. Also, this plan will be work. Changing old habits is ALWAYS hard work. But, my gosh...isn't it worth it? I can't stress enough though the importance of taking a hard look at yourself first. You have to be willing to consider that your partner has been just as hurt in your relationship as you have...and that you have caused as much destruction as you feel your partner has caused.

I have asked my husband to read the book. I don't know if he will. If he does, this book may very well save our marriage. Either way, I'm going to implement what I've learned into my own every day life. Because, if things don't work out with my husband, I need to be a healthier partner for any future relationships...and I need to be healthier for ME. I do have to say though, that reading this book has given me real hope that my marriage can be saved. Sadly, it shows me how unnecessary a lot of our pain has been. Every therapist tells you to talk about it but no one ever teaches you HOW to talk about it. You will be amazed how much HOW you talk is really what's going on in your relationship conflicts.

Every couple should have to read and discuss this book before they are allowed to get married. In fact, I may make this book my standard wedding gift from now on. In the end, where did all of those china place-settings ever get anyone? This book would be a real gift! I can not recommend this book more highly. If you are searching for books on this subject, than you need this book. Buy it now. Read it with an open heart. Share it with your mate. Good luck.

(Also, another great book to read to just better understand the many dynamics of all communication is Messages by McKay, Davis & Fanning...this book was also very helpful and I recommend it as a companion to We Can Work It Out. If you are dealing with an affair, "Not Just Friends" was the best of the several I read. That one deals with emotional affairs (which was my situation), not just sexual affairs.)

This is a good read. What I appreciated is that it looks at sex in a way that "connects" mental, emotional, and physical. It's not just info like "touch her here" or anything.

Got this book as I was reading up on the subject of female ejaculation. Combined with Player's Handbook Volume 3 - Make Her Squirt! A Quick and Dirty Guide to Female Ejaculation and Extended Orgasm, which is more "hands on" (no pun intended), I was able to put everything together and make things happen...if you know what I mean.

What I love about both books is they're "real world" information, rather than just technical stuff by people with PhDs or something. Zzzzzzz...

Bottom line-- this is a bargain for what you'll get out of it. Seriously, it's worth 1000x the price.

While there are things I would like to see expanded in this book and a poor choice of Wikipedia for some of the information, it is a good book that looks at sex as something far more than penis-vagina intercourse. The focus of this book is on making sexual intimacy primarily about female pleasure with the idea that penetration then may follow and indeed sexual encounters increase when the woman is very well pleased with her partner (male or female). The language of the book is more appealing for men I strongly suspect but then men are the target audience. As long as the reader does not see the book as a step by step list of activities he must do and considers the questions and underlining goals, he'll get good use of the book. Sadly as a scholar the use of Wikipedia instead of peer reviewed studies of human sexuality or anatomy automatically knocks off a star for me in the review.

I have to admit I was somewhat disappointed in this and very pleased at the same time. When it arrived, with other books I should mention, my wife took the tried and true stance, similar to the past 20 years, of "not again". She did not want to even look at the books. However, this book is designed on how to please the woman only and directed entirely to her pleasure. Which I must say is 99% of the way it should be anyway. So, my wife thought I should read this book only and return the others. I read it and was disappointed a little. I got 75% of the way through before it began to teach me anything I did not already know and I realy don't know anything.

I did like the chapter on shaving very much. In fact for the last few years I have been shaving my own face with the old shaving cream and brush and can attest to the closeness of the shave and it is best for sensitive skin, but I digress. I think only 2 of the 12 or 13 chapters had any information that was useful, but Oh how useful they were. I was able to try something new one evening and she said "did you get that from the book?" With a grin on her face and a shortness of breath not noticed in a few years.

I of coarse gave all the credit to the book. She then thought we should read it together and look at the other books as well. So, even though I think only 2 chapters had anything new they have served both of us old married folk well and that would be why it gets 5 stars. Not because I learned stuff from start to end, but because the book in general did what I was hoping for, renewed some fire into a couple middle aged, slightly pudgy, people who needed a spark.

An enlightening and expansive perspective for male or female readers. The sensativity and integrity of the writer are evident. The intention is to create a fun, relaxing and satisfying experience for both participants. The friends I have gifted with this book are thrilled and have shared it with their friends.
Margaret

This is a great book if you're looking for the mechanics of producing pleasure in the female body. However, if you see people more holistically, as the union of body, mind, and spirit or heart, or a relationship as something more than a context for sex, this isn't the book for you. The author reduces sex to an almost clinical attempt to cause pleasure in the female body--almost as if it's a machine. For example, at one point he recommends the use of rubber gloves--a recommendable practice to avoid infection, to be sure, but what couple really wants to make their bedroom a doctor's office, unless it's only about physical sensations? Also, there's an obsessive emphasis placed on producing a bed-wetting female ejaculation--who cares about this subject if your sexual/personal relationship is otherwise complete? The author does talk some about relationships and romance, but their only purpose seems to be getting her in bed and ultimately getting the machine going, rather than being ends in themselves. He even discusses how to talk to a woman to get her to open up to more experimentation and expanded mechanics. It all depends on what you want.

I purchased this book after reading the reviews... not sure if I went into reading this book with great expecations but the book didn't pull me in as much as I hoped. It's a good message, fast read with some good points... not enough to get a full 5 stars.

This book was purchased at a time in my life when I felt the title was written just for me.
The chapters are short and sweet and the content is good. It's nothing you haven't heard before, but it's nice to have it all in one place. There are some concepts in it I didn't agree with, but it was mostly applicable.
My only thing is that it's VERY short - which I guess could be both good and bad. I think the material was complete and thorough so I guess it's good if you're looking for a quick read.
I would recommend this book if the title fits your situation because it helps reinforce what you probably already know and may push you to do something about the situation.

While I was disappointed to get to the end of the book, I considered every page in there loaded with valuable insights and advice.

This book is the polar opposite of, "The Rules". Thank the Heavens!
In Barbara's book, you are applauded, not tolerated, for being your true self. Just think of the word Intimacy for a moment...phonetically it works out to In-to-me-see. In order to be in a real relationship (base word is relate), you have to be real with yourself before you can even begin to understand what it means to share with others. People say, "Oh yes, I know all about that!" If that's truly the case, then explain why the divorce rate is so high in the United States. If you're hiding your authentic self in order to avoid the possibility of rejection, you're not truly present in the relationship. Under such circumstances how fulfilled and loved can you feel? Why bother then?

Then there's the flip side - people hide parts of themselves and don't reveal things that they feel they have reason to be ashamed of, and their partner feels distrusted and cheapened due to the lack of faith demonstrated by their loved one. Perhaps this creates a chasm deep enough to be irreparable and a break up occurs anyway. One of life's ironies to be sure....ah, the wonders of the self-fulfilling prophecy.

I'm a very happily married woman...for almost 20 years now. Don't think a day goes by that I don't thank God for my blessings. Like another reviewer here, I was intrigued with the possibility of being able to help my single girlfriends realize their inherent value.

The message expressed throughout the book is healing, and you can feel it in your heart, not only the mind. Barbara is a very spiritual, tuned in woman and sets a wonderful example to womankind.

Keep up the good work, Barbara!

My wish for each of you beautiful ladies is to revel in your feminine power and embrace it.

I purchased this book because of the reviews it received. I have been trying to figure out the reason(s) for the bizarre behavior of the man I wasn't sure if I was dating (if that doesn't make sense, consider yourself lucky -- unfortunately, it makes perfect sense to The String Along). Was he passive-aggressive? Was he married? Living with someone? Playing the field? In the end, it didn't matter. What matters is that I read this book and was able to rationalize and even quantify his behavior. He received 8 scores on Reasons to Stay and 18 on Reasons to Leave with Skidmarks (when even 1 on the latter is enough to run fast!). The day after finishing this book, I left with skidmarks. It's still hurting, but this book helped me understand that, in spite of our strong chemistry, I was being strung along. Who knows how much longer I would have tolerated the hurtful behavior had I not read this book. I deserve better and so do you.

I wished I had found Barbara's book years ago. Being single for 10 years and dating, most of what she writes I've already learned through trial and error. I found a lot of validation through her book and answered many questions on why it couldn't or didn't work the way I had hoped. Save yourself from the dramas of dating and read her book. It's a quick read and highlights the key areas of "healthy" relating while taking good care of yourself. It's a must have for the woman that wants more in her relationship without giving up herself.

Learning to understand long term relationships is a tough one for many people. It seems like such a mystical thing and many relationships suffer from the lack of awareness.

John Gray clarifies and shows a couple how to apply simple skills to the relationship, no matter where you feel you are at.

Highly suggested!

Merna Throne
Pocket of Pearls: A 30-day pocket workbook to start hearing a softer voice inside of you!

I couldn't wait for this book to arrive at my local library for me to pick up. I never bought books but almost bought this one several times because the title really caught my interest. However, now that I have the book & I am glad I never impulsively purchased it I am left very dissapointed. It left me feeling depressed at times about marriage & family. I am married now but no kids yet. This book was making me think that married life sucks & I don't want children because I will be overwhelmed with responsibility. Joh Gray really harps way to much on the negatives on relationships, marriage, & family. If you focus only on the things that are wrong ofcourse your relationship is going to have problems. I prefer books that focus on the things in marriage that bring us joy & learning ways to increase the joy in our relationships. This book really is negative & stereotypical in every way. I do not recommend it. I found it in no way to be truthful, motivating, helpful, or inspiring. So to me there was no point to this book. It was a waiste of time & money!

"By understanding and honoring that men thrive on appreciation and women on communication, we gain the knowledge and the power to create mutually fulfilling relationships. ~ pg. 37

In most of John Gray's books he focuses his attention on women with a dominant feminine energy and males with a dominant masculine energy. In this book he also dedicates a chapter to women with a dominant masculine side and men with a dominant feminine side. In both cases he encourages men and women to adapt to the Mars and Venus stereotype to solve most problems. Men are encouraged to enhance their warrior skills (listening) while women are encouraged to enhance their nurturing skills.

John Gray does a good job in explaining why old relationship skills are not working in modern marriages. He believes relationship issues are inevitable. This means there is a need to develop new communications skills. In the first half of the book he mostly discusses how men need to learn to listen to women more and how women need to let men have their "cave/alone" time on a regular basis. For more information on this subject along with scientific proof read: Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress.

Since the stress of modern society (women having to take on all the responsibilities of home life along with working) is the real source of relationship problems, he explains how women can get what they need at home.

I liked the section on sexual polarity because it explains why some people don't fit into the typical stereotypes. There are also some interesting ideas on how to get a woman to talk if she is cold and evasive. It is also good to know that my husband is nurturing my feminine side by opening doors for me.

In this book in particular, John Gray shows us a little of his dark side or shadow self. He encourages men not to let this side dominate a conversation and explains more effective techniques for a more successful interaction. In fact he suggests that men should sleep on some issues before discussing them with their partner. So much for the "don't go to sleep angry" rule. To end the book, there is a section on "The Seven Secrets of Lasting Passion." In this chapter there is also a list of twenty things men can do to ignite passion in their partner.

After reading numerous John Gray books in the past few weeks I can say that this book in particular is more complex than the other books I had the pleasure to read. This may be the book that you will want to read twice because there is so much to absorb and learn.

~The Rebecca Review

Mars and Venus Together Forever is one of the most ridiculous, stupid books that I have ever had the gross misfortune to read. I probably should have expected what I got, considering that Mars and Venus on a Date left me cold, but I read this one anyway because the original Mars and Venus book had SOME interesting insights and I'm a sucker for a cheap book.

Anyone who buys into the stereotypes promoted by John Gray must be barmy. He exaggerates, overemphasises and blusters his way through the 200+ pages - probably with the best motives in his mind - but in the end the stuff he writes is uninspiring and insipid. According to him men and women are still ruled by `ancient' traditions which dictate that women are all do-gooder types who only desire to stay at home, chatting with other women and looking at flowers whilst men are all aggressive cavemen, grunting their way through their lives with zero finesse, a beer in one hand and the TV remote in the other.

I don't see how anyone, man or woman, could read this book without being annoyed. For women, the book is terribly unempowering. If you don't fit in with any of Gray's ideas about what a woman should be then you are labelled as masculine. I don't want to read a book which tells me that when I am at work I am moving towards my masculine side because being goal-oriented, competitive and efficient are male traits. It's all phooey! For men, the book is also offensive. John Gray says that men shouldn't express their feelings because it will cause a woman to lose her attraction for him. No, I don't believe that men and women are the same in all respects - there are gender differences - but in Mars and Venus these are distorted.

Overall this book is not worth your time. Underneath the waffle there may be some good points, but all of these are outweighed by the stereotypes.

JoAnne

In response to other reviewers, yes, this book does rely heavily on stereotypes of male and female behavior. If you find you don't fit the stereotypes (and of course not everyone does!), then you'll need to look for another book. But for many (most?) of us, the insights and advice in this book will be very helpful. As I read, I was constantly amazed by how much I could see myself and my husband in John Gray's descriptions. Last night I had my first opportunity to try out his techniques on how to prepare a man to listen...and it worked beautifully! A situation that would certainly have escalated into a hurtful argument was diffused into a calm, brief conversation that left both of us feeling warm and loving toward each other.

This book is not what it is hyped to be, Not very informative and not what I thought it would be.

From what my husband and I have read so far, there is a lot to learn from Dr. Phil's Relationship Rescue. We also bought the workbook to go along with it and would highly suggest that people do that as well. The two resources put together are wonderfully productive. Just don't expect a "how to get your spouse to change" book, this is a book designed to help you better yourself. You realize what you are doing wrong so that you can begin doing the right things. Eventually, your spouse will come around based on your actions. The old proverb that goes something along the lines of kill meanness with kindness definetely applies here.

The Doctor focuses on The Reader, and hammers away at making the point again and again that it is The Reader, not their partner, that must embrace change and improvement. It's a strong book. I laughed at how he puts into light how good my relationship is by his standards of trouble. My reasons for buying and reading this book are the same as anyone's for buying a self-helper: uncharted territory and the wish of self-improvement.

My only concern is that this book would most likely never help those who are the ones who really need it. It makes strong points to this itself: You cannot control or change other people. And those who need this book are probably not smart enough to even consider reading it or seeing the need to change and modify themselves.

Thanks Dr. Phill. I am glad I read your book. It is strong and helpful.

Dr. Phil just lately has been known in the Middle East through his program "Dr. Phil". I got to know Dr. Phil from quite some time.

This book is, as its name, a rescue procedure that the couples should follow. It starts with an inventory that each partner should do alone; evaluating him/herself independently, what were the weaknesses, how did I contributed to the failure/success of the relationship.

Then the real work begins..!!! Where the couple meets together and reviews the result. They should apply certain communication techniques. It is really very effective. At the end, the couple should agree and maintain certain techniques throughout the way.

It is not a book that you read for educational purposes, it is a life curing surgery.

For the best results, both couple should have the interest for the rescue. My advice, maintain the passion throughout the way, try to influence your partner if he(she) is not the driver for this process. It is a surgery...but very effective...

Wish you all the best while reading and applying this book...!!!!

"When you own your relationship, you must hold up the mirror to look at yourself. You will finally realize that whatever your partner is doing, you are either eliciting, maintaining, or allowing that behavior." ~ 97

It is difficult to work on your relationship by yourself. That said, Dr. Phil believes you have a lot more control than you think. By analyzing your relationship you learn about the areas that need improvement. The book begins with a questionnaire of sixty-two sentences. You choose true or false then instantly find out if your relationship is in distress.

It takes quite a lot of time to answer all the other questions including sentences you complete and analyze. You may think you have a pretty good relationship until you see what the test results are. This book may even temporarily make your relationship worse, especially if you try to get your partner to take any of the tests. The 17 page family history evaluation did seem a little over the top.

This book requires you to make a commitment to making your relationships work. It is an extremely detailed program designed to improve your relationship in a matter of weeks. You learn to agree to disagree or to argue more effectively. You develop relationship skills instead of relying on the feelings (infatuation) you felt at the start of the relationship. Dr. Phil then delves into the dark side that can sabotage a relationship.

Dr. Phil completes the book with questions he thinks you might want to ask him and then in conclusion he writes a separate letter to women and then to men. For the most part this book is complicated yet engaging. The tests are fun to take if you have the time and they do reveal aspects you might not uncover in a more casual conversation. Dr. Phil takes on all the difficult subjects and puts the ball in your court. In one sense it can be discouraging to work on a relationship by yourself and on the other hand your partner might actually get involved in making the relationship work. "Relationship Rescue" is one of the most intense relationship books I've ever read.

~The Rebecca Review

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. It provided keen insight into the dating/mating process. The chapters are divided into relevant topics and the author has a unique writing style that draws the reader into the content. Very helpful and fun.

I purchased this book and the online instant view. The instant view wasnt worth the $2.00 because you cant print or save.

The book is good, though i havent read much of it.

I have one complaint. The book isnt an easy read. Usually you must read 4 or 5 pages to understand the authors point or seduction tip. I really would have prefered a short, to the point, version of this book. She gives 100 or 200 seduction tips, but then she talks on and on about stories or the details on why it may work etc. Some of her conclusions are speculative.

This book was amazing! A guy friend of mine had given me some tips from it years ago and recommended I should read it. I finally got around to buying it a couple of months ago and finally sat down to read it. It offered great tips about communication and gender differences. I often found myself reading the sections geared towards men and thinking "Yes! That's exactly how I would like a guy to act!" So I have faith that the sections that are geared towards women are accurate in their suggestions. In fact, I have toyed around with some of the ideas she gives and they honestly worked. I'm sure it isn't the ONLY reason that the guy fell for me, but it certainly helped! I 100% recommend this book for girls AND guys. Even for those of you who are skeptical or not looking for love, it still brings to the table some really interesting sociologial studies and impressive facts! Happy Reading!!

This book focuses on what to do / say when you're around members of the opposite sex in the hope that they will fall in love with you.

The book offers insightful information and key points to helping encourage and foster a relationship with someone. Many of the things suggested actually work (from personal experience) and do help you get closer to the people you care about. Some of the techniques include finding commonalities and really listening to the person. Using the techniques offered could, I would argue, help you improve your relationship with others (family members, relatives, etc) in your life not just your love interest.

Honestly, though, the only thing I found misleading is the title. You can't MAKE people fall in love with you. This book will definitely help you hold and encourage interest, but if the person's not into you, then there's not a lot you can do to change their mind (see "He's Just Not That Into You").

Overall, the book is well worth the money and really does offer great perspective and insight. You won't be disappointed.

Ok, so I had great hopes for this book, but was worried because the title promised a lot. Actually, its a great book just to make you a better person. It teaches you how to be a better person, to improve your people skills and draw people to you. I can see how it can help you be a better and more likeable person and draw people to you and like you, then some may fall in love with you. I wish the title were different because it sorts of limits the audience with its name.

To those who are rather desperately clinging on to their world view despite this book (and it's 1996 earlier version) by criticizing it for lack of scientific rigor, you should realize that this is the popular press version of Baker and Bellis' research and not the academic text. The subject matter is only contoversial by its socially explosive conclusions and not by any questions of its science.

If you really want the solid data to convince you that virtually everything you want to believe is wrong, you should get a copy of Human Sperm Competition: Copulation, Masturbation and Infidelity which is the academic text of their groundbreaking research.

The proper scientific documentation really is there. Our physiology is wildly more complex than most people had believed and clearly did not develop in a sexually pair bonded environment.

Uncompromising, cynical and probably correct. Humans are robots programmed by evolutionary sexual strategies. Expect programmed behavior from others. Know thyself or be a robot.

Sperm wars dives into many fascinating aspects of our sexuality and how these inherent drives have evolved over time and still control us to a much greater extent than most of us believe.

The book describes concepts using realistic situations and stories, making the book educational as well as exciting to read.

He reveals:
-Why a woman often feels a strong drive for finding the best genes as well as the best provider, and how she will optimize her sexual strategy if she cannot find a man that satisfies both.
-Why gays and bisexuals are actually the result of specific evolutionary survival strategies.
-How rape plays out in humans and other species.
-How most of a man's sperm is actually created to battle other sperm.
-10% of children are have different fathers than they believe.
-A women is far more likely to conceive through an affair rather than with her boyfriend or husband.

I had high hopes for this book after hearing so many of my friends rave about it. However, I was a little let down. First of all, there are no foot-notes or citations for any of the claims/statistics that Baker writes about. I understand that the book reads easier without them, but it takes a lot of the credibility away from the message. Also, the constant referral to previous/future "scenes" (37 small stories) throughout the book really made it difficult to follow.

I read in a couple other reviews for this book that a lot of the "science" Baker writes about has been proved wrong. One of the reviewers actually posted a link to a scientific article which conducted some experiments contradictory to Baker's research, so if you feel inclined it's on this website somewhere.

Anyway, the book did have a couple (valid) discoveries that were new to me, so all was not lost. Just wish Baker had done a better job of backing up his research!

You have to be rather mature to be able to read this book without freaking out. It is so full of brutal honesty with regard to human sexual behaviour. It would be more than easy to just get insecure and try to push it all under the carpet. Only a very strong person can come to terms with the reality of his or her own biological nature. If you read this at face value, it would be a temptation to lose all fatih in human beings. You could spend your life hiding behind hollywood fantasies as to to human nature and the myth of "being in love" as the only truth about sex and love but that would be delusional. Remember that human beings are biology, and this book makes that startingly clear... and that we are also a heart. At the end of the day we are free and we choose our actions. Read with care. This book is scary. VM

The book was good but very similar to Sex Chronicles with incorporating a series of stories into one topic.

I have to admit, I'm not an experienced person. This book by Zane really helps you when you have questions. The entire book is questions from her readers and answers from her expertise. If you ever had questions that you couldn't ask anyone, or never got a straight answer, this book will defiantly help.

It's Zane!! What more can I say. This book is very insightful....Zane goes where many would like to but are afraid.. She knows no boundaries and takes no prisoners........Whatever Zane writes I read....Next to the Cosmopolitan magazine...Zane's books are like chapters in Bible written just for women!!!

This book is great. If men or women need help or any questions on how to achieve the greatest orgams,fanstasy, oral sex and other pleasurable things read the book. I mean it really helps people who don't know what to do with their lovers or mates. I really liked the book and Zane once again gives out good advice.

In all honesty Zane has surprised me again with this one. She is brilliant, consistent nad focused. This product did remind me those Shombay Kimoni novels he has. You can see the particular novel here:
Dating Detroit

You know all those puzzling things women do. They are explained here. More importantly this book tells you how to respond to the situations we find ourselves in with our women. This book is aimed at those trying to start a relationship or hook-up, but is still essential for someone that is already in a relationship and wants to make it better.

This woman Romy Miller-the author has been watching to much of the show"sex in the city"I think shes a superfical money grubing woman-she had only a few things that I thought were good.She must think all men are super rich and find her to be a money hunter when looking for a man.Save your money fellows.

I picked up this book a few years ago, because well, as the book's title might suggest I had no clue on how to succeed in getting the women I wanted. However, this book wasn't helpful most of the information such as those "romantic questions" and other suggestions the author made just got me exactly what I was getting before reading this book, "let's just be friends" and the such. Until I came across The Game and Mystery's books, those have truly shown me how to succeed with women, skip this one, read those instead.

After years of disastrous dating and (so far) one failed marriage, I realized that no one ever really taught me anything about relationships.

My family? Please. My family has more last names in it than a phone book so why would I look to them for anything (but lawyerly advice about getting divorced)?

My friends? Just as helpless and ill-equipped as I've been.

The media? The sappiest b.s. of popular music and lame movies has fostered the madness that "true love prevails" and probably did more damage than anything else in our lives.

True love doesn't always prevail. Nice guys finish last. And women would love nothing more than turning every decent guy into a platonic friend while serial dating every loser on the street (they have to complain to the nice platonic friend who wants them about the wretched monster they pursue as their boyfriends). Cold, harsh reality...but here we are.

So what do we do? We turn to someone for help. This year, I've been reading the various books on relationships, mostly from the male point of view, everything from the most predatory pick-up guide to this book, HOW TO SUCCEED WITH WOMEN.

If you haven't lost all of your Nice Guy tendencies, this is the book for you. It's a practical, extensive guide to a lot of info that the rest of us might--MIGHT--learn on our own in the dating jungle. Save yourself a lot of time and take the time to read this book. You might feel a little threat to your guyhood to be looking into something like this--forget that. We were raised in the generations that hammered the sick dogma that "boys and girls are the same," the age of equality.

When it comes to relationships, we're NOT the same. Not even close. It's been insane how long we've been beating our collective heads on the wall as we try to understand how women don't get that we're all the SAME.

Admit to yourself: What I'm not, I will learn. Then read this book, which is a good place to start.

The other book along these lines I'd recommend is Neil Strauss' THE GAME. He's a good writer and there's a lot of experience and wisdom there.

Now go get 'em.

In light of some of the reviews I've read here,I felt the need to add my two cents if you will,Seeing as how in my opinion this book doesn't get a fair shot...

I first bought this book in 2001,shortly after September 11,at point in my life when I felt I needed to make a drastic change.I was 28 at the time,painfully shy,and just out of a rather tumultous relationship with a much older woman with several kids (none of them mine...) I felt unattractive,overweight...Besides my freinds and family,I wasn't a terribly social person,and felt as if there was no chance for me to meet a woman who I truly would want to be with.

I did,however,have lots and lots of female "friends" who felt totally comfortable telling me about their dating problems,and of course I listened to them faithfully,hoping one day one of them would miraculously see me as their knight in shining armor...That happened once,but eventually with disastrous results.

Once I read this book,I came to a realization that my family and fellow "Nice Guy" friends never clued me in on...That most people,male and female,DATE before they settle upon someone.That may mean there's sexual interaction along the way,or it may mean that one person falls deeper in love than the other...But it doesn't mean that your first is your one and only,and if you should happen to lose someone along the way,if you're a person with a happening life and confidence,you'll eventually find someone new,when you're ready to.

Nice guys in particular truly need to read this book.I was one of them,and the section on the Fear of Hurting Women resonated with me.Because of all the accounts of bad dates and such my female friends told me,I swore in my mind that I'd never be that way,thinking that it was a good thing.NOT AT ALL.In turing nice and harmless,I essentially neutered myself in the eyes of any potential dates.

Quite a few men have an inner war with their sexuality,not in terms of orientation,but in terms of whether or not their desiring a woman is HURTING a woman.This book will teach you how to see through the fog of those anxieties.

When I started acting confidently,making dating women less of a priority,and myself the top priority,then things started to change.

To the critics:

In regards to the motives of any man who reads this book,it's been said by the authors themselves in other media that the only way a man is going to be happy with his final choice in a mate is only AFTER he's satisfied with knowing what's out there.How else will he truly feel confident in his choice of a woman as a long term partner.The book says it in Plain English,IN THE LAST CHAPTER...And they DO NOT endorse cheating on a long-term partner.They also make it clear that finding someone for a lasting relationship is a matter of compromise,to some degree.She's not going to be Miss Perfect.They also stress the importance of safe sex,and not getting into hasty sex situations,complete with a breakdown of what you could contract if you don't play it safe.

And as far as some of their actal examples of tactics go...Well,okay,I have to admit,I did scowl at the use of hand puppets as a serious way of drawing women.I'm a big black man from New Jersey,and there's no way in You-Know-Where that I'm taking a hand puppet of a bunny rabbit and going to talk to ladies on Broad and Market Streets in Newark!But you can take their basic ideas and augment them...The fundamentals are the same.Maybe a hand puppet is a no go,but pushing your little baby niece in a stroller,or walking a puppy...You get the idea.

I won't rehash some of the other strong points that other reviewers have already pointed out.Just read (and watch in some cases) and judge for yourself.

When this book first came out,as far as I was aware it was the only one of its kind-serious in nature,not the "Pick up chicks" kind of book that you would find ads for in the back of smut magazines.
In recent years,there have been others-Neil Strauss,David DeAngelo,and most Notably Mystery (Erik Von Markovik) who have expanded on this format.These days,they're known as the "Seduction Community" all of their material is valid.But in my opinion,if you're a "nice guy" who's had a ton of female friends who have regaled you with tales of lustful,touchy feely men who you'd sware you'd never be like,then those other media won't help you a bit if you don't address the underlying issues.Louis and Copeland will help you do that.

In closing I'd like to say that in my younger years,I weighed perhaps around 220 lbs,and was ashamed of myself...Right now I'm TWICE that weight,and I date MUCH more now than I did when I was younger...Attractive,proactive women,with careers,goals,and exciting lives.In fact,I wish I read this book when I was 15,instead of 28.I would have avoided MANY of the dating pitfalls I wound up making,and pursued the NORMAL women who were worth the pursuit!

The book WILL help you,if you're a nice guy!!!!

JJ.
myspace.com/martinjr73

This book was enlightening for me and I would recommend it to any woman who is "beating her head against a brick wall" with her mate and wants to break the cycle of frustration. The importance of seeing how you keep the cycle going is important if you want to make a difference in the situation. The author's clever way of presenting the information to both sides was very helpful.

I have read hundreds of self help books. This book outshines them all. It is an illuminating read whether you are the man or the woman in an emotionally blocked relationship. This book hits the nail on the head and really helps you understand how dysfunctional beginnings can dictate all of our primary relationships throughout our entire lifetime, unless we do something about it. I loved this book and have purchased five copies to give to friends.

Awesome book! I highly recommend this to all married people. Patti Henry has an incredible insight to healing and marriage. You will be glad you read this one!

I don't know what made me read this book, I have never heard of it before but I am so glad I did. I have learned a lot about myself and past relationships I have had. I am divorced but still have an amicable relationship with my ex and think that if we had this book it might have really helped us work on our relationship. The book talks to you without all the psyhco babble, it is clearly and concisely written....it speaks to you, not at you. After I read the book, I wrapped it and gave it to my ex as a gift hoping that he reads it. Thank you Patti Henry for telling it like it is.

This book is fantastic. It is the only book I've found that provides help for men on becoming emotionally available. All the other books I've seen are from the women's perspective and not very helpful. The book provides very concrete exercises and steps to follow. It also goes into how we became emotionally unavailable. It is helping me save my marriage and all other interpersonal relationships.