Sex Relationships Books

This book provided me with a lot of insights on what the problem is in regards to being a "passive" or a person in denial of commitment. However, it does not do a good job on moving the person from the "recognizing" stage. It described with much detail what happens during the plot as it were a soap opera, which indeed can get into that kind of drama. Yet, telling the reader - go for therapy, something most people don't want to hear or if they are conscious about it, they, most likely have tried before. I will say that the plot, or the middle of the book, is very exciting and intriguing, but the end is too disappointing and hopeless. For those of you looking for a more PROACTIVE look of relationships and to improve their communication skills and feeling more confident look for Keri Newell's interviews and books. She is a relationships coach in Southern California. Best wishes. p.s. There's a reason why this book is sold used for $2.

This book was recommended to me by a friend whose relationship it saved. I read it and was amazed at how it resonated. You think you are so unique and then you read sections that are basically word-for-word recaps of conversations you have had with your partner and realize you are textbook after all. Its comforting and discomforting at the same time... I have recommended it to several more friends and each comes back to me with amazement at how right on it is. It is a book that I return to again and again to gain perspective on my actions.
A favorite example of its wisdom: "Commitment is the promise to participate in a well-intentioned, monogamous, open-ended, responsible, and realistic relationship." Now that doesn't seem so scary, does it?

My girlfriend I have benefited from this book immensely. She is an active avoider and I have been both, while being the passive avoider in this particular relationship. I have bought two copies of this, and another title from the same authors called "Getting To Commitment" and gave one set to her to read while she was away in Emirates for a business trip. She admitted openly that she was pretty disturbed to see herself in the mirror while reading the books, but since then her behaviour started to change dramatically. I am not expecting her to fix herself completely but now she talks about seeing a psychologist/teraphist upon her return, and even wonders what will come out from under the slabs she's been keeping her inner self under.

For those who feel this book falls short in offering fixes towards the diagnosed, I recommend them to buy "Getting To Commitment" for the follow-up.

I could not for the life of me figure out what was going on in my ex's head and why our relationship wasn't working out. After reading this book I now realise that I have a passive commitment issue. The book describes several different commitment fears. As I read the book I thought, none of these fears were what I was experiencing, and then they discribed the fear that I had and everything all of a sudden clicked. It was like an a-ha moment. It was a fear that I had since I was very young, but which I have been hiding away. It literally sent chills down my spine when I finally figured out what was going on. I now also understand why I was attracted to certain types of partners. I guess you have to face all your fears that you may have otherwise they are going to come back and bite you later on. This book is a must read for anyone who is strugling to make their relationships work.

I bought this book about a year ago to help my relationship. Although I did like reading some of the examples because they related to what I was going through all one really needs to read is the appendix at the end. I thought that this was the better part of the book. True the book did not give answers as to why some are the way they are but I think that it did bring up the questions for self-reflection. If you have time take a look.

Good book! Finding it very insightful and very "real" life! Makes for entertaining reading while learning.

I purchased this book for a couple who were in need of some "3rd party" assistance to help them with communicating with each other. My understanding from the husband is that the information contained in the book has proved very helpful.

This is a great book. I would and have recommended it to everyone I know. It is a great way to get people to think logically about things. Has been a big eye opener to my husband. Who won't read it but will listen if I read out loud. Great Great book for the struggling marraige.

I felt this book was insightful, consise, and most importantly helpful. The strategies in this book focus on automatic thoughts, your perception of your mate, and how to foster good communication. The tone of the book is very friendly and non confrontational.
If your relationship is in trouble, or you just want to improve your relationships, this is a good book to get.

This is a great book on cognitve therapy as it applies to relationships. It is well-written, rigorous and illustrates important points with useful examples.

This book goes way beyond what you might see in a pop psychology book and the material is presented in a way that it can be applied. It also provides a useful framework for understanding cogntive therapy in general.

What I feel is missing from this approach is honoring basic compatability. While emotions are strongly linked to thought, there is more to making a relationship work than working through communication patterns and automatic thoughts.

A useful complimentary book is "Will Our Love Last" by Sam Hamburg. This book looks at the aspects of relationship having to do with compatability along three dimensions... chemistry, what he calls wavelength and practical everyday living. This approach provides an alternative lens to look at what is going on beyond the cognitive aspects of the couple's situation.

I bought this book for my wife in order to help her understand the mind of a man. She doesn't seem to get it after 20 years of marriage. However, I read it first just to make sure that it applied to me. I was very pleased with the book. It was "on the money" overall. There were a couple of sections that didn't apply to me, but probably once did, e.g., the section on deciphering a man's pickup line.

The material was presented in a very practical way, however, it didn't get into much depth. Depth may not be necessary as long as a woman can get a general idea of the mind of men. What I mean is that this book doesn't deal with psychology. It just gives you practical insight into how guys think.

I did hope that the book would cover specific topics for married men. Most of the examples and illustrations seemed to involve boyfriend/girlfriend relationships in my opinion -- though I wasn't necessarily keeping count. It just felt that way to me.

If you are looking for a book to give to your wife so that she could understand men better and therefore understand you, then I highly recommend this book. I was really anxious to read it when I first got it just to see how accurate it was from my own thinking and I was pleased that it really did describe me and my thinking patterns. I guess that means that I'm a typical guy. Whoa!

Now hopefully my wife will read it. The ultimate goal is to improve our relationship. Not that we have a bad marriage or anything like that. There are many issues that persist that I feel could be resolved if my wife just understood how I think so that she would hopefully be able to communicate with me more effectively. I would like to do the same for her. Again. This was a very good book.

I found a few revelations in this book about what men want and need. I thought I already knew that, but I didn't. You'll have to read the book to find out what they are. Personally, I believe men and women would do a lot better with each other if they didn't think so much and just did what comes naturally. Romance, love and sex aren't really all that complicated. You can make it as simple or as complicated as you want to. I'm pretty sure there is one thing men want, and that is oral sex. Women not only want oral sex, but a large majority of them need it in order to orgasm. Here's a book that will answer that need for both men and women: Was that an earthquake? The Sensuous Couple's (Flip Over) Guide to Seismic Oral Sex. It's a fun flip over book, with everything you need to know about fellatio on one side and everything you need to know about cunnilingus on the other side.

I was disappointed, it is not very specific in regards to men, love or sex. I was hoping for a good book like, "What Men Want" by the three professional men. This book is just way too general, although he throws in an occasional statistic. Kind of funny, but light on specific and applicable information. I read it in one sitting. Go for the other book- it's excellent!

Every page of every section has something focused on the sex issue, overkill. Definitely not geared toward anyone already married. Although it has some very good tidbits of info, doesn't really fulfill what it promises.

I'm not done reading it yet, but, I like the book because it is helping me to better understand a species I thought was un-understandable. It makes sense, but I still have a few unanswered questions. I'm hoping that they will be answered by the time I get to the end.

I consider myself someone who is fairly thoughtful and has already made an effort around being spiritually grounded, self-aware and having healthy relationships. This book, however, sets up a pretty profound framework around these things and asks deep questions. It helped me get to a new level of thought about my relationship with myself as well as my romantic relationships. I got an immense amount of good out of this book. It helps peel back the layers and digs deep! After reading it, I bought several copies and handed them out to my closeset friends.

I work as a marriage & family therapist, and only happened upon this book after a few colleagues recommended it. This isn't a clinical book, rather it's far more accessible to anyone who's wanting more than a typical self-help book. "Undefended Love" goes far beyond the helpful observations about how human personalities are based on attachment, security, protection, and strategies to compensate for wounds. It goes beyond healthy,non-reactive closeness between a couple. It shows a path for couples to find deeper resources within themselves individually that can create a truer foundation for growth and vitality in all their relationships. It's not a quick-fix or easy path, but it does feel quite true and in sync with the newest findings in neuroscience and other psycho-spiritual paradigms. This is a wonderful book I can easily recommend.

If you're looking to unravel a twisted up, convoluted, complicated, and painful relationship this is the book for you. It saved my 25+ year old marriage and has enhanced many other relationships as well. My friends got so tired of hearing me rave about the book that they bought their own copies and found their lives transformed as well. It ain't easy work dismantling a lifetime of armour--and don't let anyone tell you it is. But it's welllll worth the effort!!! And really, if you get just ONE thang from the book it will be worth the purchase price...and there's LOTS of thangs to get from the book. This is one you can read over and over again over the years and get something new from it each time. If you're looking for ONE book that hits all the nails on their heads THIS is the one...I've read soooo many books about following your bliss, passionate pursuit of one's dreams, making the impossible possible etc etc and this book is at the core of all of them. You dive into the work of this book and you too will see your life transformed--it's truly amazing. Go for it! peace love & joy Coco

This is an insightful and thought-provoking book. Great for a therapist, but also very accessible to the layperson. Takes you through some self-review that gets to the root of what triggers us when we have conflict in a relationship, and how to move past those triggers to real "undefended" love.

This book really helps you uncover yourself to reveal your inner beauty. People all around you will seem more peaceful. You will be able to be responsive instead of reactive. It is the most uplifting feeling in the world.

In a culture where getting a divorce is almost reflexive when any marital problem may occur, this book provides an alternative frame of mind. My hope is that many would read this book as a preventative measure; before their marriage is on the rocks. Although, there are many examples in this book where such marriages have been saved as well. Easy to read and practical application points.

I like the way Michele Davis wrote this book better than the first book I read, Divorce Busting: A Step-By-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again. The Divorce Remedy is full of helpful ideas that can be useful on a day to day basis. I also like the positive pro marriage message. Now to see if I can practice what she teaches!

This book is well written, empathetic, specific, and action oriented. It, along with the books and CD's by Ellen Kriedman on the same subject will change your marriage relationship or any relationship for the better. Highly recommended. boland7214@aol

PS: I forgot to mention that the book, "Divorce Busting" is by the same author. "Divorce Busting" was written in about 1991 and this book was written about 10 years later. Which is "the better book"? I dunno. But, one would think the later book would be an improvement over the earlier book. I can't say for certain but that's the way it would seem, correct? But, I do like the title, "Divorce Busting"! :o)

I agree with A Customer on this one. While this book is very matter of fact, it doesn't get into the touchy feely side like other books I have read (that's a good thing), it has clear steps on what do to and how to do. The practical side of me likes that.

However, I think that most of the scenarios she described were run-of-the-mill problems as the previous poster suggested. I was thinking, these people are getting divorced over this? This should be a marriage communication book, not a brink of divorce book. She did mention in the beginning about abusive relationships. Not ALL marriages should be salvaged, so she did point that out. Unfortunately, I don't believe everything else that is non-abusive should be saved. Some people out there ARE happier without the emotionally abusive, passive aggressive person and do find better.

It then left me to analyze the issues I have in my own relationship and I still question whether it's worth saving. After reading the book, I didn't feel overwhelmed with a gung-ho attitude that I'm saving this shambles of a relationship come hell or high water. The issues I am seeing are more serious (not as serious as physical abuse or drug addiction). I'm still questioning it - I don't know if I want it to work. I guess I am still open to new ideas as I keep reading books rather than getting out.

The step where you write down what you are seeking in a good marriage (turning complaints into attainable positive goals) did take me sometime to formulate and was beneficial However, I came up with an entirely different person - one I don't think my spouse can or wants to be.

The book seems to black and white to me, but perhaps what I am searching for I won't be able to find in a book.

Having read just about every relationship and divorce book on the market, it is this one that I buy multiple copies of and give to all my friends, relatives and others. Why? First, many marriage-saving books are written from a religious perspective, but this one is not. It is not that she is anti-religious, just that you don't have to be religious to enjoy the book. I also like the fact that it is not that she thinks divorce immoral, just that she sees how miserable it makes even those who initiate it, in many cases. On page 14 of her other excellent book Divorce Busting: A Step-by-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again, Michele Weiner-Davis writes: "MOST PROBLEMS ARE SOLVABLE. I have not arrived at this conclusion based on religious or moralistic views. From my perspective, divorce is not immoral or bad. In fact, in extreme cases, certain relationships are better off terminated for the health and well-being of everyone involved."

Many books are very negative and encourage behavior guaranteed to destroy a relationship instead of helping. This book is positive, gives the reader hope, and backs that up with concrete, specific, clear suggestions for what to actually do in practice to maximize the chance of saving your marriage.

I like the fact that she points out that your friends, family, and therapist may well push you to end your marriage, if only because they only hear your own side of the story. This is so true. It is a pity people nowadays make the mistake of bad-mouthing their spouse to others. John Gottman, too, has written that this is one of the things that jeopardizes marriages. (Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage: America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship)

It is no good giving this book to a spouse who wants a divorce: it is not written for the person who wants a divorce but those who are prepared to make changes to save their marriage, or those who are at least willing to give their spouse another chance. If you are the spouse wanting a divorce, you might find it useful to give this book to your spouse, though you should of course make it clear that this is not intended to give your spouse hope. To the extent that your spouse adopts the author's suggestions, both you and your spouse will find life more pleasant, and it may well help your spouse to feel better whether or not it saves your marriage. (You too may be surprised if you adopt her suggestions!)

For those not wanting to end your marriage, if only it could be a bit less ghastly, a bit more enjoyable, this is THE book to read. If you try the suggestions in this book and it still doesn't work, then at least you will know you did everything possible to save your marriage.

Many of the suggestions are for very small changes that can have surprisingly large effects. Things you can actually do even in the midst of terrible turmoil and fear of loss of your marriage. Her suggestions will help you feel better about yourself AND better about your spouse.

What is so beautiful about Weiner Davis's writing and this book in particular, is that she manages to be kind not just to the reader, but to the reader's spouse as well. For example, in Chapter 2, Weiner-Davis helps you to see that it is possible that each of you is mistakenly but very understandably blaming the other: "interactions in relationships are circular. You do something->your partner responds->you react->your partner responds, or, if it makes you feel better, you can view it the other way around. Your partner does something->you react->your partner responds->you react, and so on. Where the cycle begins is just a matter of perspective. And the good news about all of this is that when things are spiraling out of control, there is something you can do other than try to convince your partner to change. You can interrupt the cycle by changing your actions."

There are so many otherwise worthwhile books that are marred either by the writer being nasty to the reader (IMO, Dr Laura's books often fall into this category) or by the writer being nasty about the reader's spouse or encouraging the victim mentality. To create a good relationship, good will is required, and it is difficult to develop good will when the relationship is on the rocks, but if any book can help you do this, it is this one by Michele Weiner Davis.

Another problem with many relationship and marriage saving books is that they require both spouses to work on the marriage. We all know how unlikely that is, even in the best of marriages! This book assumes that only ONE of you wants to work on the marriage, and that there is never any question of the other person being expected to help save the marriage is very freeing and cheering, because it gives the reader hope and removes the feeling of powerlessness that is engendered when you read a book that assumes you both want to make changes together. As you yourself take action to improve your own life and treat your spouse well (but no, we are NOT talking being a doormat, here!) you start to feel less panic-stricken, more calm and peaceful, less out of control, and you can then hold your head high.

This author is nothing short of a genius. Read her books. Unless you are the most negative, cynical person I can imagine, you will find her ideas very practical, very helpful, and very much worth the price of the book.

All her books are worth reading. This one is absolutely brilliant.

Like most others, I do feel this and other self-help books can be useful. However, the effectiveness really does depend on the state of your relationship, your partner's receptiveness and your own mindset at the time. I read this book and practiced much of what she instructed but it requires alot of work to simply change yourself, change your thoughts and your own behavior. Although I'm sure it can be rewarding when her advice works, it can be extremely frustrating when it doesn't, especially when you feel like you've been the one trying, working and giving in the relationship in the past. I ended up feeling as though I was repressing my own feelings, becoming relatively submissive and subservient and there was a blow-up when things didn't go as planned. It can be frustrating when over a period of time one person feels they are doing all the work. Not for the faint of heart - be warned it can backfire unless you have a receptive partner.

What a relief it is to consider that you alone, without the cooperation or consent of your spouse, can work to improve the quality of your relationship...Wow! I found this book to be very empowering and uplifting...forcing me to focus on the good rather than the negative aspects of my relationship.

This book has fabulous insight into the male versus female habits, needs, tendencies and desires. I consider myself to be an optimist and a spiritual person, and most relationship books just don't "fit", and usually bring me down. I definitely plan to read more by this author, and I hope my spouse will as well.

When you read this book, make sure that you don't skip the "In Conclusion" section at the end...it brought me to tears, and truly put into words how I feel about my husband, and about life! We need to stop focusing on our problems and how to solve them, and just focus on the moment and the journey. Enjoy life...Begin now!

If you are frustrated with not getting enough effort out of your partner when it comes to getting a derailed relationship back on track this book will help. I can't say it is the best written book ever, but the ways it tells you to cope and take charge are enough to make it a worthwile read.

I wish I'd had this book when my first marriage ran into trouble. My counselor at that time told me the marriage could be saved only if both persons were willing to work on it and that one person could not save it alone.
The focus of this book is on developing fresh perspectives about the relationship, overcoming resentment, recapturing lost intimacy and solving major problems, one at a time. Don't give up without first trying these techniques.

I really didn't believe that I could change my relationship, by only working myself. Boy, did Susan Page show me I was wrong. Take note, this book is not for the lazy or the faint of heart. She has "exercises" that you must actually DO, many of which involve writing about yourself and your partner. She requires that you do some hard and sometimes painful analysis of your situation. It's not always easy, it's not always fun. But if you are willing to do the work, you will find that you CAN bring you and your spouse together.

I did not care for this book at all. In fact, I read about 50 pages from a few chapters and threw the book away. Before you consider buying this book be aware the the author focuses a lot on the subconscious mind and emotional trauma from childhood and how he feels these impact a marriage. The book spends a lot of time helping you understand your subconscious and how your upbringing has screwed you and your marriage up. This may be the right approach for some people but I found it very cumbersome and honestly quite annoying. I guess I'm just not in touch with my inner child. Books I have read and enjoyed much more are Willard Harley's Fall In Love, Stay In Love - Excellent. The best marriage book I've read. I also enjoyed the 5 Love Languages.

This book was right on I reviewed it many time. I gave it four stars because the book was simple and made since. Nothing complicated. The reason it did not make 5 stars is because it only relates to people in a relationship. Not those looking.

Came very fast, just as ordered, I would order from here again. Awesome, Awesome book!! I can't say enough. Answers every question you ever had about a relationship. Even though Harvey is a minister, he is also a PHd, and his book is more psychological than religious in any way. I would highly reccomend this book to all couples, and to anyone who is interested in making a relationship work.
Great! Thanks very much!

Fantastic easy to understand information, very helpful for young couples or people who have been together for many, many years. The advice and suggestions are easy to implement and have already made a huge difference in our lives. This author provides simple remedies providing hope for couple who need assistance for creating the relationship of their dreams.

The author gives excellent advice on how each person can grow and learn to fulfill their own needs as well as their spouse's. Even if my marriage does not work out I will take comfort in the fact that my next spouse will get the very best me possible.

It is also an exceptionally easy read and great book about this topic I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't.

This is a fantastic book on becoming a more effective man and a more attractive person. Be ready to work on yourself, though, because the premise of the book is not on how to "seduce" a woman...but rather on how to become the type of man that is naturally attractive to everyone. While the ideas may not be wildly unique, they are intelligently presented and will be helpful to any man that is looking to improve himself.

This book doesn't really talk about anything that going to get you any where, just waist of time. I would not recommend this books to nobody.

I just finished reading "How to Become an Alpha Male" and must say that it was awesome book!

The best thing about it is that if focuses on what YOU need to do to become a successful person, not only with women, but life in general. That is one of the big differences I enjoyed that made this book stand out amongst the pack.

Plus, I've been interested in refining my personality, I'm happy with who I am, but I knew that I could become a better person if I consciously worked at eliminating any inferior traits I possessed and adding those TRUE "alpha male" traits that most (if not all) successful people have developed.

This book has filled in a lot of the missing pieces of what the alpha male does differently, from the way he carries himself to the way he talks, thinks, and acts. I thouroughly enjoyed it!

If you're in the process of creating a better you, I suggest studying this book!

You'll often here women say "Sexyness is something that men have to exude". This book elaborates on just that. Any pick up artist will tell you that inner game is just as important if not more important than outer game. This book goes into descriptive detail on the fundementals of the Alpha Male persona, elaborating on such things as body language, vocal tonality, and inner belief. I for one have noticed a significant change in the way women as well as friends and people in general behave around me. This book is a must have, I highly recomend this for anyone who is looking to have game with women, or improve the game they already have. FIVE STARS.

I think Browning wrote that 'the mind is its own world and can make a hell out of heaven or a heaven out of hell." That's pretty much the message Alexander hammers home: act on an internal focus, not an external demand('I don't littler becuase I think it is wrong, not because it is against the law."); reframe problems into positives( get rejected, do an after action report and learn from it); act is if you are alpha and you will be---sort of like the Biblical passage, "act as if you have faith and faith will be given to you." In short, do not seek approval of others, have them seek your approval of them. Live in the moment, without being held hostage to a controlling past or being frozen in fear of am uncertain future. Book is littered with interesting tidbits: don't ask questions , but make statements that elicit further conversation. Why? Only strangers ask questions and you don't want to be perceived as a stranger. Book is self published and has numerous typos. But don't let them bother you because his writing is clear and to the point.

I came away from reading this book with mixed feelings. On the one hand I think it holds some excellent pieces of advice for young girls who are wondering about sexuality and its complications. It encourages abstinence which I wholly agree with and gives advice to women who are scarred from past sexual sin. On the other hand, I felt a sense of great sadness for Lisa Bevere and the scarred women she is writing to. I always have a hard time relating to people who have made such mistakes because, by the grace of God, I managed not to make them. I think this is a very good, if sobering book for anyone to read, not only for the excellent advice, but because it gives a glimpse into the kind of mindset women are left with when they allow themselves to fall into sexual sin. I always notice the difference between women who have relatively pure pasts as opposed to women who don't. The women who have stayed pure always seem to have retained a sense of innocence which the women who made mistakes lack. They are happier, more comfortable in their own skin and less legalistic much of the time. Women who have made mistakes often suffer from guilt, (as Lisa points out) depression, and are more inclined toward legalism. They associate things with their past sin which unscarred women would never think to. (For instance: I can watch a James Bond movie and never once feel a pang of regret OR the desire to be like the women in it.) Read this book no matter what age you are and learn a sobering lesson from its author. If you are thinking of falling into sexual sin, please, please reconsider. The consequences are all right here in this book. You don't want to live with them.

Whether you are a young girl wondering if all the hype about "saving yourself" is really worth it, or a woman who chose another path and now wants to get rid of the shadows that choice left behind, this book will help you.

So many lessons give us the rules without the reasons, and Lisa compares that to a parent's response to a child's nightmare. She says, "It would do no good to shake my finger at my child and tell him the rule that there's no such thing as monsters. Instead, I sing him a song and give him something to dream about." The rule is purity, and one of God's main reasons for wanting us to be pure is so He can communicate better with us. He wants to sing us a song and give us things to dream about. Lisa states that "God wants us to be wholly free so we can be wholly His."

This book also accompanies a teaching by Lisa called "Purity's Power" and power with God is the main reason for keeping pure. Women need to see just how much power we have and just how often the enemy wants to strip it from us. Often, we allow the enemy to strip our power by exposing us. Or we strip it by giving it away to someone who does not cherish it. But that's not the end of the story. My favorite thing about this book is how Lisa teaches us to keep the power we have and to regain the power we've lost.

If you are a mother who is having trouble coming up with reasons to inspire your daughter to purity (or whose daughter has turned a deaf ear to all the speeches about buying cows vs. free milk), you'll find plenty of new inspiration in this book. If you are a woman with shadows in the bedroom, this book will show you that God looks at you with a love that can dispel every one of them.

As a 43 year old woman with no daughters, I thought I was only reading this book to prepare for teaching a group of Missionettes at a local camp. I never realized how much healing and strength it would bring to me personally. I recommend it to every woman who believes in God. It will help you to see yourself through God's eyes, and it will help you see other women and girls you may need to teach or mentor through His eyes. And if you can get a copy of the audio or video of "Purity's Power," I would recommend that as well.

This book is about:

How to gain freedom from all the lies you've been told about your sexuality.

And since author Lisa Bevere is very well able to speak for herself, I will let her:

"And why, why, why would I write a book on the virtues of sexual purity when it appears nobody is really interested or listening? And to whom would I write? In answer, this book is for daughters in waiting. It is for mothers to remember. It is for every fallen one who longs to be lifted. And it is for those who've kept themselves, to know and fully realize their reward and be encouraged to remain strong.

"This book is a letter from a generation of mothers and mentors who have known regret, to the daughters of this generation that they might be kept from our failures, and inherit the promises and not the pain. It is a tool for mothers who feel they can't tell their daughters no because years ago they themselves said yes.

"This is not a book of do's and dont's ... it is a book of restoration. A glimpse at how God sees things, a revelation of His original intent. Some might call it an impossible fairy tale, but I believe it can be true. Rules will never set us free, just as fear and control will never keep us safe. It is truth that frees us, one that looms larger than all the lies presently surrounding us. Truth is the dawning of morning where there has been a gross and long night of darkness filled with horrible disappointment and despair ....

"Why have I told you this? Because I believe God wants to tell you a bedtime story, to rock back to sleep what's been so rudely awakened. One to softly lull passions back to a place of waiting and resting in slumber, a story to restore to a dreamlike state what was awakened before its time. A place where fears are calmed and hope is restored. A haven where shame is not permitted, and everything is fresh, new, and clean as flowers after a spring rain."

-- pp. 10-11

This book, if you let it, will take you on a journey from shame to restoration.

And that's the power of purity & a clean heart -- which only God can provide to the fallen, amen.

Reviewed By Bethany Regattieri


This is book is absolutely fantastic. EVERYONE should read it. It teaches about being Pure and following God because we are all his children!

It has truly inspired me to be a better person. I have heard Lisa Bevere's talks on "Purity's Power" and reading this book has given me the confidence to stand up for what I believe in and not let anyone make me feel less of myself. We are all BEAUTIFUL IN GOD'S EYES. I can see the change in myself and I thank you for spreading the message Lisa.

I Recommend this book highly!

I received this book as a gift and read it out of curiosity to see what the Christian fundamentalist community had to say about sex.

I'm continually astounded that contemporary people fail to comprehend the significance of the social and historical contexts in which the Old and New Testament were written. The concept of female sexual purity, while marketed as a moral injunction, is in actuality merely a way of insuring legitimacy of offspring in an era when people had no access to birth control, did not understand female fertility and the concept of once-monthly silent ovulation, and had only a rudimentary grasp of the mechanics of conception - conflated with religious law.
The one-size-fits-all, "just say no" approach to human sexuality, while appropriate for minor children whose moral development, discernement, and life-experiences have not caught up developmentally with their fertile physiologies is a resounding non-answer to adults, who must either marry, or by default be automatically condemned to a sexless life of involuntary celibacy - or suffer "automatic damnation" should they elect to experience a healthy, adult sexuality outside of marriage.
It is virtually impossible to cultivate a healthy realtionship to one's burgeoning sexuality, neither unduly mystifying it nor unduly profaning it, in a religious culture of arbitrary suppression, guilt, secrecy and shame based on anitquated notions of female sexuality.
A marriage ceremony is not a permanent blanket endowment - but rather, a daily, ongoing process of re-dedication to the sacred intent of the relationship. Marriage in and of itself neither automatically "sanctifys" nor renders consensual each sexual encounter - our civil law recognizes that rape can occur even within marriage. Likewise, who may realistically deny the transcendent deep communion and love which may be present between those who are unmarried ?

Didn't someone famous say "Let those who are without sin cast the first stone ?" ...

As for the author, the writing is clumsy and the observations are trite and puerile. I was curious about her qualifications and was appalled: no formal theological education, no background in counselling or marital therapy - in short, the awkwardly-written exhortations and opinions of one woman. How did this get published ?

This book is great if you're entering or considering a long-distance relationship. After several wonderful months with my boyfriend, we became long-distance when he went back to school over six hundred and fifty miles away. The best thing this book did was keep me from pulling my hair out with frustration. It validates the roller coaster of emotions one goes through when a loved on is so far away, so instead of freaking out about my insecurities and worries, I was able to ride it out because I knew it was all normal, and would pass.

This book also gave me some great ideas on keeping our relationship alive-- and deepening it!-- while we're apart. It covers the common pitfalls, cons, and even pros of LDRs as well. I wholeheartedly recommend this book! I can't say what it would do for those who have had successful LDRs already, since they probably learned through the same trial-and-error as the authors and their acquaintances, but it's a real gem for those who aren't in the know.

This is more of a self-help book than anything else. Honestly, if you don't already know the advice that this book offers, you really need to reconsider whether you're ready to be in a relationship at all. It also doesn't have many suggestions for things to do for or with your partner via long distance. It's just a book of common sense.

The book is definately a must if you are dating. It even gave me some ideas, married five years with two kids. It was not exactly what I was looking for. I am currently on my second military deployment, and believe that relationships take effort to be successful. The Introduction and chapter 1 are kind of boring. However, the rest of the book is a good read.

I've been in a long distance relationship with a wonderful man for three years now. It came more easily to me than it did to him, as my father was in the military and constant moving made long distance connections with friends and relatives seem normal to me. It wasn't as smooth a situation for him, as he still lived in the very city where he had been born and never had to deal with absences that exceeded a week or two. We live in the same country, but other than that, our face-to-face encounters were confined to a few times a year. Our relationship has been a learning experience for us both.

Chris Bell's book is filled with practical advice about making the miles appear less formidable. The Internet has made frequent communication less of a costly endeavor than it was in the past, so the separation anxiety can be assuaged without the phone bills forcing you to take a second mortgage on your house. Bell also emphasizes the all-important issue of trust and self-sufficiency. It's true: long distance relationships really work when both partners have their own identities and don't require another person to make them feel whole.

By emphasizing direct advice from long distance couples instead of diving into endless theory about the 'love over the miles' phenomenon, Chris Bell has helped to pave over an admittedly rocky road.

This book is full of great ideas and good advice on what you really need to make a long distance relationship work. I am currently involved in my first long distance relationship and this book has been wonderful advice for the situations you come across. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who's in or considering a long distance relationship!