Sex Relationships Books

This is a fantastic book on becoming a more effective man and a more attractive person. Be ready to work on yourself, though, because the premise of the book is not on how to "seduce" a woman...but rather on how to become the type of man that is naturally attractive to everyone. While the ideas may not be wildly unique, they are intelligently presented and will be helpful to any man that is looking to improve himself.

This book doesn't really talk about anything that going to get you any where, just waist of time. I would not recommend this books to nobody.

I just finished reading "How to Become an Alpha Male" and must say that it was awesome book!

The best thing about it is that if focuses on what YOU need to do to become a successful person, not only with women, but life in general. That is one of the big differences I enjoyed that made this book stand out amongst the pack.

Plus, I've been interested in refining my personality, I'm happy with who I am, but I knew that I could become a better person if I consciously worked at eliminating any inferior traits I possessed and adding those TRUE "alpha male" traits that most (if not all) successful people have developed.

This book has filled in a lot of the missing pieces of what the alpha male does differently, from the way he carries himself to the way he talks, thinks, and acts. I thouroughly enjoyed it!

If you're in the process of creating a better you, I suggest studying this book!

Let's get this straight up front... this book IS NOT about manipulation scamming or any other unethical tag. This book is about becoming better yourself so that you can give women the kinds of thrills and feelings that THEY LONG FOR.

The emphasis in this book is telling you what works and why. This book is great because it starts with the frame of attraction as an evolutionary development and therefore reducible to specific behaviours and characteristics. Despite social programming to the conrary, dating and mating is a game - a game which to partcipate in you must grow to be the sexually aware, dominant (not domineering) man that her animal attraction mechanism wants. Of course there are some juicy little 'techniquey' type ideas which help you apply the dominant male frame. However, this book is largely about getting your issues handled and developing the kind of traits and personality that naturally attracts women.

If becoming a better man with knowledge of the dating and mating game is your thing, then this book will help you develop yourself and the ideal mindset/attitude.

If evolving beyond the limiting and blatantly false ideas about attraction is your thing, then this book is for you.

How anyone considers these things unethical and hollow has clearly not read the book.

You'll often here women say "Sexyness is something that men have to exude". This book elaborates on just that. Any pick up artist will tell you that inner game is just as important if not more important than outer game. This book goes into descriptive detail on the fundementals of the Alpha Male persona, elaborating on such things as body language, vocal tonality, and inner belief. I for one have noticed a significant change in the way women as well as friends and people in general behave around me. This book is a must have, I highly recomend this for anyone who is looking to have game with women, or improve the game they already have. FIVE STARS.

This book is great if you're entering or considering a long-distance relationship. After several wonderful months with my boyfriend, we became long-distance when he went back to school over six hundred and fifty miles away. The best thing this book did was keep me from pulling my hair out with frustration. It validates the roller coaster of emotions one goes through when a loved on is so far away, so instead of freaking out about my insecurities and worries, I was able to ride it out because I knew it was all normal, and would pass.

This book also gave me some great ideas on keeping our relationship alive-- and deepening it!-- while we're apart. It covers the common pitfalls, cons, and even pros of LDRs as well. I wholeheartedly recommend this book! I can't say what it would do for those who have had successful LDRs already, since they probably learned through the same trial-and-error as the authors and their acquaintances, but it's a real gem for those who aren't in the know.

This is more of a self-help book than anything else. Honestly, if you don't already know the advice that this book offers, you really need to reconsider whether you're ready to be in a relationship at all. It also doesn't have many suggestions for things to do for or with your partner via long distance. It's just a book of common sense.

The book is definately a must if you are dating. It even gave me some ideas, married five years with two kids. It was not exactly what I was looking for. I am currently on my second military deployment, and believe that relationships take effort to be successful. The Introduction and chapter 1 are kind of boring. However, the rest of the book is a good read.

I've been in a long distance relationship with a wonderful man for three years now. It came more easily to me than it did to him, as my father was in the military and constant moving made long distance connections with friends and relatives seem normal to me. It wasn't as smooth a situation for him, as he still lived in the very city where he had been born and never had to deal with absences that exceeded a week or two. We live in the same country, but other than that, our face-to-face encounters were confined to a few times a year. Our relationship has been a learning experience for us both.

Chris Bell's book is filled with practical advice about making the miles appear less formidable. The Internet has made frequent communication less of a costly endeavor than it was in the past, so the separation anxiety can be assuaged without the phone bills forcing you to take a second mortgage on your house. Bell also emphasizes the all-important issue of trust and self-sufficiency. It's true: long distance relationships really work when both partners have their own identities and don't require another person to make them feel whole.

By emphasizing direct advice from long distance couples instead of diving into endless theory about the 'love over the miles' phenomenon, Chris Bell has helped to pave over an admittedly rocky road.

This book is full of great ideas and good advice on what you really need to make a long distance relationship work. I am currently involved in my first long distance relationship and this book has been wonderful advice for the situations you come across. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who's in or considering a long distance relationship!

I had the first book for years. Read it sporatically, then came upon a guy that I liked. Didn't use the rules: gave him my number, called him, was always around him__and another woman got a date with this guy. OK. Had I NOT given him my number, i'd not be feeling sorry for myself now. He'd have gone on to his destiny. THE MORAL: THIS IS A MANS WORLD: a man is going to be where he wants to be. If he isn't feeling you, all the calls, tears,all of the "dirt" that women do is not going to change things. IF you read the first 3 chapters of the Bible, it tells you that man was designed to be the leader and was punished and thrown out of Eden for not following THE RULES. All of the men that say they like a woman to make the first move are conning you and are weak. They like it for awhile, but will get bored. And that is why they move on. Let them fill in those blank moments that you used to. Let them have those women who like to dominate. Let the weak go with the weak. You want a man to do all of those things that they should. NOTHING is guaranteed__but you will come away with better SELF ESTEEM. That is what makes this book so unique. You aren't beating up on yourself if that man doesn't call or notice you! THATS WHAT YOU WANT!! If he is feeling you, he will come to you. MEN do like challenges! That is what THEY were created for. Thats why they love sports, action__They are external creatures: their package is on the outside of their body. We women are internal creatures: our package is on the inside making us more emotional. MR. RIGHT is there. If it takes awhile, its not your fault! Get busy! Get a life!

Altered man/woman relationships for the worse....Even if we are in the 21st century, men and women will never be wired the same...The authors emphasis is doing what WORKS, not how we'd like things to work....

Author Of Black Women Deserve Better

If you're a person who loves yourself and enjoys what you do with your days, then you will enjoy yourself with the right guy. But the necessary precondition is that you become a better you and become happy with who you are first. I thought, as did many others, that the first book stressed a bit too much manipulation and would work only on the type of man that was less than fully desirable, to put it politely. I consider myself a bit of a feminist in the sense that I feel a woman should take an active role in getting what she wants. Don't expect a man to bring you happiness; but become happy, and you attract that good man to you.

Great book, it IS NOT about manipulation, but a hard look at why you lie to yourself about relationships that *just won't work*! From the minds of two women, it is as if a guy is telling you why it won't work, or what you can do to make the bond between the two of you even stronger. This book, as the first one, gives it to you straight, no bs included. If I had this book *~*years*~* ago, I would have saved myself the heartache and pain from guys who were simply "just not that into me". More women need to save themselves the trouble and WASTED TIME of guys who (keyword~~>)DON'T want you. Read all "The Rules" and get a clue before it is too late. Again, GREAT book.

As outdated as this book seems and as many years as it seems to put womenkind behind...these things work.

All couples should read this book from well-known talk radio therapist Dr. Laura. The advice is valuable for anyone in a relationship.

It seems that Dr. Laura and Dr. Phil (both from the Oprah end of the rightwing religious political spectrum), have together colonized the known universe of "pop psychology," or what their fellow conservative ditto heads refer to as "psycho-babble."

Like her other books in this series, this one too skims the surface and snags the low hanging fruit for those poor souls who have no idea who they are, or why they are in a relationship in the first place? Neither Drs Phil nor Laura seems to care much about the preparatory work of building sound personhood based on introspection and personal awareness, as a necessary foundation for using these ten prescriptions, which in any case must precede them if there is any chance of them being deployed successfully. The idea that there are shortcuts to these very serious issues is just another cheap marketing device, and both Phil and Laura diminish the title doctor when they traffic in this kind of "cure in a bottle misery." It is "snake oil" by another name. But hey, at least it allows them to laugh all the way to the bank with their consciences intact.

This book and others of this genre are the equivalent of the much-revered American tradition of giving canned foods to the poor at Thanksgiving. It is a gift to the giver, not to the troubled: For anyone who has ever been poor knows that the last thing you want to do is give poor people handouts, least of all canned foods. This only makes them feel worse about their condition. What they lack most, of course is not food, but dignity and connectedness.

In the same way, what troubled couples usually lack is "a relationship with at least one whole independent or aware adult" in them. Feeding them the equivalent of psychological canned goods is a cosmetic fix that makes Drs Phil and Laura feel that they have done something good for society, but this "psychological cotton candy" cannot possibly fix a troubled relationship, the source of which is that it is inhabited by "partial" rather than "whole" adult human beings.

Without the more robust understanding to be found in something minimally on the order of Dr Viscott's "The Language of Feelings," these 10 prescriptions (as well as those in Dr. Phil's "Relationship Rescue") are like plugging the dike with ones little finger.

But what the heck, something is always better than nothing, right?

For something, both books get Two Stars.

I bought this book for my teen-age granddaughter who is dating age, I also bought one for her boyfriend. I reviewed the book and it had good advice not only for the novice dater, but for those individuals who have been dating for years and wondering what's wrong with their past relationships. Clear and concise advise. Good book.

I was in a Relational Development class in college and we had to read this book for an assignment, I found it quite humerous and also disturbing. Some of the stories that are told do touch your heart and then you will have some stories that will make you want to jump out of your skin and yell at disturbed spouse.
Over all Dr. Schlessigner 10 Stupid Things People Do To Mess Up Their Relationships Dr. Laura touches on key problems that she sees as being crucial reasons why couples do not usually last. Specifically she notes secrets, egotism, pettiness, power, priorities, happiness, excuses, liaisons, mismatches, and breakups. Her fans call and write her and tell her their problems touching on these stories and she gives her opinion on the situations and defends her points with their stories.
10 Stupid Things, is not based on fact or studies. It is based on one woman's opinion. Dr. Linda simply tells her opinion from either her own experiences or other people's similar experiences. She helps people who are choosing to write to her therefore, they already like her ways of thinking and her advice; which is why she is helpful to them.

I did like the book overall and did find it an easy read, you will enjoy also and even if you have a million and one things to do, this book will move by swiftly.

"What women don't allow, men can't and won't do." ~ pg. 8

Whether you are dating or married, Dr. Laura has sage advice for couples who are destroying their relationships with stupid secrets, egotism, pettiness, power, priorities, happiness, excuses, liaisons and breakups. She takes each topic and weaves her wisdom through listener responses.

"What, if any, information from your past are you obligated to reveal during dating, engagement and marriage." ~ pg. 13

The first chapter is the most revealing and some of the advice is surprising yet wise. Dr. Laura differentiates between privacy and secrecy. The two topics she focuses on are sexuality and finances.

Most of the issues in this book stems from people acting badly and realizing the error of their ways. Some of her listeners root out selfishness and replace it with giving. Through the listener responses you can find creative ways for turning around stressful situations. At times all people are really looking for is some kindness.

~The Rebecca Review

This is a great asset to people that want an in depth look at their relationship.

As always, Dr. Phil has insight that makes perfect sense but the rest of us just don't get quite so easily! He tells you like it is and expects you to do nothing more than be honest with yourself. He has excellent exercises to do that require some soul searching at times, and his advice is thought provoking and effective! I highly recommend this book if you are having relationship issues, and neither of you wants to end it, but neither of you knows how to fix it either. It really helps if you both do it together but one person could get a lot of advice and direction to go too. Also recommend you get the workbook that goes with this book...makes it much easier than a bunch of notebooks everywhere with the exercises he has you do throughout.
I don't think you will regret this purchase. Dr. Phil ROCKS!

Did not work for a relationship of marriage with a 1 time affair involved. Book was good to start a fire with though. + Make Dr. Phil rich. I recomend "David DeAngelo" instead. Hes much better program.

As long as you have the Relationship Rescue book. He guides you through exercises in the book which makes this a redundant purchase. The book is superlative, and I am sure the workbook will be helpful for some, but don't feel it mandatory. It's more an accessory.

Its unfortunate that people buy a book to expect IT to fix the problems they have allowed to get out of hand or self create out of ignoring their spouse/partner. If you want a book to give you ideas, plans and a way to help YOU succeed in taking the positive steps to fixing or creating a better relationship then this IS the book to do it, but again- people tend to have problems with honesty even in a private questionaire and unless you can be honest with youself it wont work, not to mention your just prolonging and continuing the sugar coating, problems dont go away and it isnt fair to your spouse either, you need to give them 100%.

A book isnt going to magically fix anything unless your willing to apply and make changes..

But here is some advise that is free- if you dont want a divorce keep your pants zipped and or your skirt down. Dont lie, be faithful and respectful-COMMUNICATE- we are not mind readers-yet. Do not make excuses for those "late work all nighters" and certainly let your partner know you appreciate them. SEX is like Air--- your not gonna miss until your not getting it, so if you/your partner isnt getting it at home--- they/you are getting it somewhere else. DO NOT confide intimate information or whine to the opposite sex about your partner, its precurser to an affair.

BUY the book and read it, listen to the words-- but lets face it-- once the trust is gone its gone.. You need to earn it back, or they need to be willing to trust you. If you are not happy then make changes dont compund it by being selfish.

The Truth: I'm a Girl, I'm Smart and I Know Everything
As a positive psychologist extremely concerned with both the development of good values and also the preservation of strong self-esteem in each of us, I have to say I loved this book. I think it elevated intimacy in a way that adults, both Jewish and non-Jewish can really understand. And once you understand the sense of elevating ourselves in the most intimate parts of adult living, than it is also easier to begin to understand taking the time to elevate oneself in all areas of life. This book is an easy, but powerful read. Read it for yourself, your spouse and for creating a better and holier world for your kids.

I can't believe how long it took me to finally get around to reading this superb book (is there a ranking higher than five stars). On a semi-long flight, I'd almost finished it off in one sitting, but I hesitated, not wanting to gobble it up in one go. It was precious, meant to be savoured, and absorbed very slowly into the bloodstream.

I'd been meaning to read Rabbi Boteach's books for over five years now, ever since I heard Rabbi Boteach go toe-to-toe intellectually with Larry King (someone else whom I respect highly). Despite the long wait, I wasn't disappointed.

Look, again (as I've said in numerous other spots in my Reviews), I'm not going to tell you what's inside this book. I don't have to, seeing as I'm positive the countless other reviews which you can find here under this listing describe the outline of this book thoroughly, and people have gone into the specifics of what to find inside. I don't wish to repeat what may already be here, and I imagine that I won't do as good of a job as they have -- admittedly, I haven't had a chance to read all of the reviews either. I'm going to laud the high quality of the reviews which I generally find here, and make the necessary presumption.

I think all of us who pick up books like KOSHER SEX are essentially seeking answers. Answers to the things which may have troubled us with our relationships in the past, and we're seeking advice on how to place less of a personal emphasis on meaningless sexual encounters, or the constant state of one-upmanship we play with ourselves in our minds, rationalizing the corrosive things we might do sexually. We need to begin to see the harm it inevitably causes us, our selves, and Boteach points out a way. Not *the* way, but *a* way.

I had many blessed "eureka" moments in reading his narrative, when my simply jaw dropped, saying things aloud like: "That's EXACTLY what I was thinking!" or "So I'm *not* the only person who feels this way?!" Reassuring in the extreme...

Ultimately, my aim has been to learn to become a better father, husand, lover, and partner. While there isn't ONE single book that encapsulates the skills required to do so, I'd have to say in the breadth of titles I've already read on the subject (Jewish, non-Jewish, and everything else in between), this one ranks rather highly up there. In a nation (the US) which seems to pride itself on its soaring (over 50%) divorce rate, books like Boteach's just *scream* out to be read. There is something dreadfully wrong in society in which sexuality is a commodity, and in which -- as Boteach notes -- there is little difference today between the genders which essentially levels the playing field (one advantage), but to the deteriment of the family unit (an even greater disadvantage).

I found myself dog-earing pages and note-taking during my read, something I generally avoid doing as it disrupts my flow. But like I said, Boteach's lines just pulled me in.

Five-stars. Because of this, I'd now like to read the rest of Boteach's books. The time has come.

The rabbi's pose is transparently hypocritical because Judaism's "holiest" book, the Talmud, teaches misogyny, the fundamental "orthodox" Judaic doctrine about women:

"Though a woman be as a pitcher full of filth and her mouth be full of blood, yet all speed after her." ---Talmud, Shabbat 152b

and also, "...a man may do whatever he pleases with his wife at intercourse: Meat which comes from the abbatoir may be eaten salted, roasted, cooked or seethed; so with fish from the fishmonger.... A woman came before Rab and complained [of her husband's sodomy with her], "Rabbi replied: 'Wherein does it differ from fish?" ---Talmud, Nedarim 20b, Soncino edition, p.58

i am a huge fan of the Rabbi but i felt let down and even somewhat betrayed by this book. the notion that one should STAY with an abusive man b/c one is married to him i find repugnant. verbal, emotional, or physical abuse, it matters not. and the devastating effects this will have on your child is most certainly of dire consequence. the Rabbi paeans for a time when all marriages are perfect fairy tales, for when his own parents were not divorced, and wistfully describes the idealization of having a united family--WITH NO IDEA OF WHAT IT IS LIKE to live in a violent, terrifying home watching one parent abuse another or both your parents abuse each other... the horror of listening to the screaming fights, the foul and filthy unholy language, the terrifying threats, the destructive criticism, the shame of bearing your secret and not being able to let other children play at your house or your teachers know how you live... not to mention the total lack of empathy for you, the child, or hope coming from either one the two most important role models in your life--your own mother and father-- is never mentioned. instead, women are ENCOURAGED to wait out an abusive man to "prove" their loyalty--and i suppose men in this situation are to do likewise. i wonder if schmuley would ever have BECOME a Rabbi if he had been forced to endure this type of family home and his parents had not had the wisdom to divorce one another and spare their child this torture. most children, esp. boys, who witness parental abuse remodel it in their own marriages. and he has the nerve to advocate indulging a bully or a loveless, absent spouse. i cannot abide by this. divorce is certainly not a wonderful invention, but to any terrified child who kneeled on their parents' kitchen floor and prayed for them to leave one another as the dishes flew and broke around their heads and the screaming escalated to the point that neighbors called the authorities i say FOR SHAME. this type of black and white thinking keeps our society in the dark ages and does UNTOLD DAMAGE. i loved the TLC documentary series "shalom in the home", i have enjoyed the author's other books, and i have great respect for my religious leaders, but i felt abandoned and betrayed by this advice. no person should endure an unloving, empty relationship just b/c they made a mistake in selecting a mate. ridiculous.

Rabbi Boteach takes a wonderful enlightened approach to this very sensitive subject. Beautifully written work with excellent sources, well documented and builds a terrific case. Having read his book, it has changed my relationship with my wife of 20 years, this is really great, wish I would have read this earlier. I passed it on to each of my teenage children as a must read.

I (obviously) can't be 100% certain, but I think "negresse" is a play on the word "egresse"...meaning "the action or right of going or coming out; exit".

I don't think it has anything to do with race; just 'the back door'.

The book is informative & I expected it to be, but the writing quality is very disappointing, it's a bunch of incongruent phrases thrown together. I'm not sure to blame the writer or the editor. If it wasn't for the pictures, my fiancee and I wouldn't probably continue with it. There's so many ways to improve this book it's sad that it hasn't been done.

On lilac folds, with a hint of retro in themes, Comfort incites us all.

This is a new edition of a classic book about human sexuality. It is informative, tastefully written and illustrated, and in no way pornographic. A good book for young couples (or older) who might wish to deepen their understanding of their own sexuality through expert advice and education rather than the cheapness of lesser books or porn.

this is a good basic to have in the arsenal. the tie-up, teasing trick is still one of the best ever. if one actually read the book, they'd get the hairy armpit thing - it's related to the section on the smell of your lover. take it or leave it, like everything in the book, it's just information. yes, it's hetero sex. no, it doesn't delve into anything extremely spicy - it's a starting point. most people don't start out right off with anal sex or whips and chains. those have their place as well, but this is not it. This is The Joy of Cooking of sex books - a basic starting point with enough so that you can know where you may want to seek more details. or not.

I must have been confused about what this book actually was when I bought it. I thought it was a book for my child to read. It is more like a manual for me. It is more like a "What to expect when you are expecting" type book for your child's teenage years. It is mostly just common sense information.

This book is an outstanding, balanced, funny and abundantly helpful tool for parents wanting to facilitate healthy, open conversations about sex and sexuality with their kids. As a single mother to a seven and a half year old son, I am so relieved to have the tools to start and hopefully continue a dialogue with my son as he approaches puberty and grows into a young adult. Whatever your values or beliefs, the book will help you more effectively discuss and explore them with your toddler, your child, your adolescent and/or young adult.

Having younger children you don't quite know how to broach the question of "mommy why do boys pee pee out the front" with this book not only do I realize that the things my kids do are normal, but some really good advice on what type of answers to give them. Plus I feel more prepared for every stage of my child's sexual development. This book is in an easy to read and entertaining format.

After seeing how may people have given this book 4 and 5 stars, I feel I'm going against the current. However, I do have to point out that if you are a Christian, and want to find an appropriate way to talk and teach your kids about sexuality, this is NOT your book.
I bought this book because I was brought up by parents who were very uncomfortable talking about sex, and I didn't want to repeat the mistakes they made.
However, may of the ideas this book professes to be "normal sexual behavior", and therefore should not be "interfered" with, I don't agree with. There has to be a middle ground between not talking to your kids about sex, and allowing them to "play doctor" with their friends because telling them not to it may give them a distorted sense of sexuality. Some of the talks that this book recommends you have with your young kids are frankly inappropriate.
I find that the way this book recommends you handle sexuality with your kids is the reason why so many teenagers are having sex, and at a very young age. It didn't help me to figure out how to explain to my kids that what they are feeling is normal, but that they also need to wait before acting on it. Where is the book that helps us Christians to teach our kids how to handle our sexuality? This book certainly isn't it.

While a good, solid resource by two learned academics, I was a bit disappointed w/ this read, which seemed to spend more time trying to be witty than actually getting to the "meat" of the info. Not meant for parents with "conservative" family values, this book is jam-packed w/ stories, some which seem exaggerated, in its attempt to be edgy (which to some may be read as crass). The authors clip over developmental changes of boys and girls at almost too fast a pace, making the work not as thoughtful as it could be. It also overly generalizes children's responses and behaviors. Overall, it's difficult for readers to pull out important info.

This book is repetative and condradicting in and of it self. The stats given are from all over the world, and very few from the US.

I really had the intent of buying this until I read a good amount of it in the local bookstore. Sounds like it would be a interesting read. But right off the bat I had trouble w/ the book and the author.
It bugs me that the author is against "Sexualization" of young girls and then sells a book w/ a very young attractive blond girl on the cover w/ her head tilted slightly back and mouth open in a moaning fashion. It seems she's against Sexualizing young girls EXCEPT for when it for her.
Another issue I have w/ her message has to do w/ the same reason why Sensitivity Training in big companies fail. They fail because they call too much attention to the behaviors. Now a black person or a little person or whoever sitting in a meeting knows that everyone around them IS actually thinking about all those things their not supposted to say. Same thing here. The author goes around to schools and teaches these things to kids. Now I'm not saying kids shouldn't be taught to watch out for B.S. in the world. But at a couple point in the book I got the feel that she was actually trying to make kids see everything her way. Kids who saw innocent things as Innocent thing were now being taught that they are sexual in nature. I don't know if I'm making that as clear as I wanted -- but hopefully you get the point.
Anyway, IMO save your money. Let your kids be kids. Spend time w/ them. Love them when they're younger so they'll be better when they're older. Teach them to question the world and watch out for B.S. And leave this feminist book alone. I'm tired of these books that come out and try to say that men in socialty have more power then women. Read up on human evolution and natural history and you'll see just how wrong that really is.
UPDATE
I picked this book up again to give it another chance. NOW I don't even want to give it one star.
She has some wild idea in her head that us (Men) are taught what to find attractive. On the back of the book and in sections inside the book she almost says "boys are taught that only attractive is sexy" Now those aren't her exact words. But trust me I'm really not far off!
Not just men but people all over the world in every culture are attracted to HEALTH People. There's a reason most people aren't attracted to mates that are too old or fat or unhealthy! If we choose mates that are unhealth then the human raise would have died out a long time ago! Doesn't anyone else get that? We (men and women) do not have to taught what is attractive. Attraction isn't a choice! Never has been! Never will. We don't look at a girl and say
"Hmmmm She's blonde. Has good skin. Of mating age. Has a great body. Mmmmm YES! I'm going to be attracted to that!"
But the auther doesn't seem to think we have instincts. I'll tell you what, let's take a young boy and hide him from all women and images of women till he's a teen. Then show him a picture of Roseanne Bar and a picture of Paris Hilton. Then ask him which is more attractive. And I promise you after he's done killing you for locking him up, he'd run away w/ the picture of Paric Hilton! I'll bet a million dollars on that! Because she is more naturally then Roseanne.
Then the author throws in a chapter on Violence and sex! Horror movies and such. What does this have to do w/ a Lolita Effect? Sex and violence are different things. She's trying to make the same old stupid go-nowhere point that images of violence will lead to rape. How stupid is that? There is NOTHING in all of science to support such ideas or claims.
The author also twist the movies around to try and make her point. Maybe she was hoping that no one who saw those movies would read her book. OR (and I'm really scared of this one) she really believe what she says and thinks everything always lead to sex. IMO if that is true she need to talk to some one.
It really felt like she was trying to make the point that in Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween that young Michael Meyers kills his family cause his mom is a stripper. Is she out of her mind or just twisting the facts?
There are even parts in the book where she's talking to young kids. Then a boy will make a point against what she just said. Rather then say to the kid "hey, you're smart! You're right, not everything you see on TV is bad" she just trys to brush it off as "WEll these kids don't get it".

I dislike this book more and more, everytime I read through it. Don't buy it!

Is this book a bad joke? Is Durham really blaming Victoria's Secret, Barbie dolls, Peek-a-Boo Pole Dancing Kits, and media images supposedly inciting girls to act out "Lolita" fantasies for global teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease, HIV, child prostitution, sex tourism, sex slavery, deaths from pregnancy and childbirth, intertribal rape in Africa, and Islamic honor killings? Can she be serious?

Durham's illogic is scary. And so is her gross misinformation. First, contrary to Durham's claim that media images are causing increased "teenage pregnancy," teen pregnancy rates actually are plummeting worldwide, especially for the youngest ages. In the U.S., the most recent National Center for Health Statistics reports show pregnancy rates for girls under age 15 have fallen to their lowest level ever recorded, as are birth rates among all teenagers. There was a slight increase in births among older teens in 2006 after 15 straight years of decline, hardly evidencing a "Lolita effect" and still leaving the teen birth rate near the lowest levels measured in 80 years of records. United Nations tabulations show similarly falling teen birth trends in most other countries.

Second, FBI and National Crime Victimization reports likewise show rape, sexual violence, and violent crime against both younger and older teenage girls are at their lowest levels since tabulations began 35 years ago. The best information indicates girls today are safer and less likely to get pregnant than any past generation we can reliably assess. I realize the news media and interest groups constantly try to profit by scaring us into thinking sex and violence are rising, but we should expect PhDs like Durham to do original research and provide accurate information.

Third, Durham wildly exaggerates surveys of teenage sexual activity, comparisons with the original reports she cites show. A lot of the scary numbers and trends in "The Lolita Effect" seem to be copied secondhand from unreliable sources or simply made up by someone.

I understand that Durham and others are deeply offended, often rightly, at many aspects of popular culture. But that doesn't justify her wholesale butchery of facts to manufacture the misimpression that girls today are more dangerous and endangered and to downplay serious threats that do exist.

The most offensive aspect of this book is Durham's suggestion that sexual violence, rape in African tribal wars, murders of girls by Islamic fundamentalists, maternal and infant mortality, and impoverished and abandoned children forced into prostitution are rooted in young girls acting out Lolita fantasies. Despite feminist pretenses, Durham resurrects primitive 19th century notions that girls are weak, self-destructive ninnies corrupted by the sinful culture they seek and in need of more restriction and supervision. But isn't it really the men who rape and exploit girls who should be held responsible? Why isn't this book titled, "The Humbert Effect"?

The reader has to wade 200 pages into this book before Durham mentions (briefly) some real causes of girls' victimization: domestic violence, epidemic poverty, repressive anti-female customs, brutal tribalism, and war. Durham also admits (briefly) that sexual exploitation and violence against girls was worse in the past, long before MTV, MySpace, and pushup bras. But "The Lolita Effect" is a conventional, puritan book that spends pages berating the sins of fictional media without bothering to show they have anything to do with real-life dangers. Durham rhetorically affirms girls' right to sexuality but then righteously disapproves of even their mildest sexual expressions.

I worked in child abuse prevention and youth programs for years and now analyze the rampant misinformation on young people. Books like this one manufacturing silly, sensational pop-culture panics obscure real, hard-to-confront dangers to girls like poverty and family violence. They also create unwarranted fears of and for girls, who in reality and are handling pop culture and modern life remarkably well and are not as stupid and corrupted as Durham thinks.
http://www.YouthFacts.org

To those who may find the cover art hypocritical.

Might it be the cover is to grab the attention of someone who might not otherwise read the book? And NEEDS to read the book? Yes, maybe it sell more books, but to reach those who need the message, you need to reach the basic instinct first. They see the cover of the book, pick it up, read a bit of it... and maybe, you can get someone who hadn't thought about this before, to start thinking about it. Even if the book gets put back on the shelf, the idea has now entered that someone's conciousness. Let's face it, a book with NO face on it is not going to grab the attention of those who truly need thier eyes opened to the issue.

I see there are a number of other positive reviews up already, but I wanted to add my two cents. Durham's argument is powerful and extremely accessible. I admit that I had never taken notice of a lot of the extremely harmful and negative trends in modern media that Durham points out, and I had certainly never drawn a connection between the exploitation of women in pop culture and some of its truly insidious effects (from teaching girls to undervalue themselves to inadvertently making themselves vulnerable to sex crimes and exploitation). Since I finished reading the book, I have started looking at the world in a slightly different way.

For me, the most helpful component was the conversation strategies at the end of each chapter. It seems like negotiating these conversations with your children would be difficult, but Durham provides real and usable dialogue starters and ideas for prompts. The book is a real tool as well as a major piece of news.

the day is coming fast for the wedding, so we been caiful what we read so far, but all in all a nice book with good information

My husband and I bought this book for our second anniversary, after trying some other books on the same topic that we did not like (one was too mechanical, another was too crass). In blessed contrast, we really like this book. It is able to be technical but at the same time draw in emotional and spiritual components into a healthy whole. It also devotes much of the book to "troubleshooting", helping to identify problems as well as steps toward resolving them. If you're wanting to learn how to discover better sex with your spouse, this is a great reference.

this book is very helpful for both of us,we love to read this book together and try everything they mention...lots of fun!

A very positive presentation of the marital sexual relationship as a gift from God. It is thorough and addresses details and issues about which most people do not know what to think or even how to go about considering them. It is professional as well as considerate in its presentation. While the authors approach the subject from a Christian perspective, it is not necessary for the reader to embrace this viewpoint in order to find the book truly helpful. If you have not read a book on the marital sexual relationship, you ought to read this one. If you have read other books, I think you will be pleased with this addition. I use this book with couples whom I see for marriage counseling.

This is an awesome book to give to people before they are married. It takes the false expectations and preconceived ideas out of the picture and replaces them with truth and honesty.