Sex Relationships Books

If you are a dad with a boy between 10 and 13, you need this book. Your relationship will never be the same and never be better!!!

This is a great book for many reasons. First off, it makes the point very clearly that a father's relationship with his sons is vitally important during the "second half of the game," the years starting with pre-adolescence. Not only are too many of us are caught up in difficult work schedules, but it gets more difficult. No longer is he that little boy who worships the ground you walk on. It's too easy to make an effort and, when you are rebuffed, just quit and hope for the best. All too easy to just figure, "well I turned out ok ... besides, maybe this is the way kids relate to their parents nowadays."

Well, Dad, that would be the worst decision you can make. This is the time of his life when he needs you more than ever. Many problems that will plague your dear son for a lifetime (including confused sexual identity, lust, pornography addiction, etc.) grow up during this period. After all, he's a good kid, but he doesn't know the ropes. Who knows how many traps are waiting for him out there - the world, the flesh, and the devil are all working against him.

The second reason the book is excellent is that it gives you a relatively painless way to go about doing what you know you should do. Many times I have struggled with starting conversations on these topics with my son, but was not quite sure where to go. I see three extremely valuable suggestions here. First off, relate stories to him. Your son probably knows little about your background. Knowing that you've faced struggles helps him to relate to you better and will probably help him to be more open sharing his own concerns and problems. This includes the dirty laundry too - such as the first time you viewed pornography. And I can't help but thinking of ol' Dad whenever some temptation comes up will help him to resist the temptation - the secret thrill is gone.

The second valuable suggestion the book makes is to create a safe place where he can "approach the throne of grace." I set up something like this in our spare bedroom years ago and it has yielded some benefits already and I expect more. Finally, the book provides suggestions of method to prompts discussion, such as reading this book and others together. These keep you going and provides a way to discuss difficult topics, and also helps answer the question "how much should I tell him and when." Certainly, you have to apply your own wisdom and knowledge of your son, but having an experienced father like Fred Stoeker making suggestions is extremely valuable, especially for those of us who never had a good role model in doing such things.

I should mention something that this book is NOT. It is not a "birds and the bees" kind of book. Although it does have some information in the early chapters, it pretty much assumes that either your son already knows the basic mechanics of sex - hopefully from your teaching over the years rather than through his friends. If you are interested, there are other good books on this subject from a Christian point of view. Where this book really comes in is helping your young man manage the resources God has given him. That is, not the mechanism of sex, but the policy of how to manage it before it starts managing him. And many of us know that sex will manage him unless he has the tools to take charge of it.

I should also note that Steve Arterburn did not write the book, it just shows up under his name. Fred Stoeker wrote it and virtually all the experiences and suggestions in the book appear to be Fred's. Some who may question Arterburn's own morality may be put at ease knowing that it's just Arterburn's name attached - the book is really Fred's. Don't pass up an extremely valuable book because somebody's name appears on the cover.

So Dad, get this book, and get on with doing what you know you should do. I think the age range of 11-13 is probably the time to start it. Don't let the "Sexual Code of Silence" continue!

I was thouroughly impressed with the writing of this book. While being careful to not overstate the obvious, the authors were forward and truthful. I felt that their honesty and integrity as men were painted in the way they told their own stories.

When I read this book, I had both of my sons in mind, and will read this with them one day. No hesitations.

A big "thank you" to Fred and Mike.

I read this book, seeing I have a younger teenage son. The first half of the book is good basic information for young minds to grasp. However, I will NOT be reading the second half with my son. Why? It's my feeling the authors are much too graphic with their whoremongering (Yes, that is it's true title. Yes, I know "mistakes" is more politically correct) when they were younger. Almost bragging/proud to tell about them?? I'm glad, after numerous sexual encounters with many women, he finally came to himself and decided to be "pure" until marriage, and do the "Lord's" work/write books, etc. Sorry, he lost the opportunity to carry that title (Pure)when he got "tired of being a virgin", and gave up his purity, which can never be gotten back, no matter how chaste he is after. (which was definitely NOT the case for this guy) So, the question for me as a Dad is: Do I want my son to think he can be just like the author, an abuser of women for his own selfish gratification, and come out "OK" on the other side? Writing books, etc? I have to say a resounding, No!

I read the first half of the book (which is to be read by the dad alone), then proceeded to read the latter half with my son. I would highly recommend that the dad read the whole book first, not just the first half. Generally the book is well done, but I found a variety of the descriptions to simply cover situations and scenarios which I largely did not experience as a boy. Since the book asks the dad, at the end of each chapter, to talk about their experiences you want to be prepared to address issues you may not have experienced. I don't fault the author so much for this (everyone has a different experience, and it is ultimately absurd for anyone to think that everyone is cookie cutter), but this is an important set of topics to discuss with your son - read the whole book and tailor appropriately, IMHO.

This book has some very good advice and tips based on psychology, but there is no way to make someone fall in love with you. I bought this book on a whim after hearing a freind of mine in college swear by it. I enjoyed reading it and feel I did learn a thing or two and this book may have had a small hand in helping my husband and I get together.

He and I knew each other, but had never been anything more than acquaintances. I knew he was a good guy and would make a great husband so I decided to read this book. I read this book right at the beginning of our relationship and started using its advice. I liked the mirroring technique and many of the tips helped him feel more comfortable and want to be around me, thus it helped the ball get rolling. I would recommend this book for these reasons:
* Much of the pointers in the book are psychological and will work on anyone, not just men.
* Much of the advice is practical and can improve all your relationships.
* The stuff works if you are on a date

The book worked for me, but I must say in the long run this book is not the reason I have my husband. I only used the advice in this book for the first few months. I did not compromise who I was to win him over. The advice in the book says to mimic them, people like and trust people like themselves. If you follow this rule you're not being yourself. The book does say Never fight, be pleasant, and gives you tips on how to do so and how to behave. That is simple and true.
Like I said I used some of the methods in the book in the beginning. Once we were comfortable with one another I forgot much of the advice in the book and my true self came through. My husband fell in love with ME. So, obviously this book helped me, but did not make anyone fall in love with me. We fell in love because we were so right for one another, but by using some of the advice and pointers in the book it certainly helped things along.

This book did teach me one invaluable lesson I should have already learned: Body language speaks louder than words. This book I do feel is worth the read, and actually works, but please make sure you like the person you want to fall in love with you. If he is a good person and will treat you right there's no harm in reading this book. The title means squat, if you do get a man to fall in love with you it will all be because of you.

I would say, don't bother with this book. First of all it's jam packed, the print is tiny and its just an endless stream of sentences so you get bored and loose track and its just a pain! Then the information in the book is pretty useless It has a lot to do with old fashioned seduction techniques which men see through a mile away and has absolutely nothing to do with the magic ingredient that actually makes people fall in love with each other. I think to be honest if someone ever found out what that magic ingredient was they'd bottle it and be world famous by now! The truth is, you can seduce anyone into liking you or fancying you, but 'love', 'real love' I don't think so! Obsession and dependence perhaps... but do you really want that?

As a person who loves the dating/relationship genre, let me assure you that there are MUCH better books out there. This book repackages the techniques usually recommended to salesmen--mirroring the other person in order to build rapport, and "speaking in their language." And that's exactly what you'll be doing--selling a falsified version of yourself in a marginally effective and pretty awkward way. (In spite of her exuberantly triumphant intro, Tracy Cabot is now divorced. I imagine it was hard to sustain this manufactured "bond" for very long.)

If you really want to learn about love languages, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman is much better. It will teach you how to truly interpret and sincerely relate to expressions of love between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner. And if you want to make a man fall in love with you, "Why Men Love Bitches" by Sherry Argov is hands-down the best. It takes the also-fabulous prinicples behind "The Rules" (which have worked for me beautifully) and makes them practicable for the modern and/or professional woman. (I highly recommend The Rules--loosely interpreted--as well). You can read any of these books in 2-3 hours. I have read the latter two more times than I can count.

If after reading Why Men Love Bitches and The Rules, you haven't solved your dating problems, you probably need to read "He's Just Not That Into You"--which is not about dating as much as it is about recognizing the excuses women make for men when the truth isn't what we want. (Gems include "No, he's not too busy to call you. Calling you takes less time than going to the bathroom. If he's into you, calling you is the bright moment in his otherwise busy day.") This should definitely help build the correct mentality for expecting--and getting--both interest and great treatment from men.

And, finally, "What Southern Women Know About Flirting" has some tips and ideas that will help anyone, but particularly those inclined to play the "Damsel in Distress" card. This one's just the icing on the cake.

This book presents a unique approach to snagging guys. It teaches you how to use psychology to your advantage. The author argues that there are 3 types of men: visual, auditory, feelings. You speak to and treat each one differently. For example, when talking to a visual man, you say stuff like, "I SEE why you have that opinion". It makes them think that you really are on the same level and that you understand them. I can see why, from a logical point of view, that her advice and techniques would be successful. I was intrigued very much so by her "method" and have yet to try it for myself. To be honest, it wasn't what I expected. Sometimes, it got too wrapped up in psychology that it started to make relationships a little impersonal and mechanical. Well, at least she has her PH.D., so I guess her approach is accurate. I'd still recommend this, though, if you want a different read.

This is great book. Every woman should read it. You will be surprised how iformative this book is!
But you must read another new besteller which I highly recommend - "How to be a Super Hot Woman: 339 Tips to Make Every Man Fall in Love with You and Every Woman Envy You" by Mandy Simons

These two books are fascinating!

Tastefully illustrated using live models. Not pornographic. The classic positions from the Kama Sutra are made modern & realistic in this edition. Fun, sexy reading for a loving couple on a cozy Saturday night. If you want porn, go somewhere else. If you want to see tasteful human illustrations and read detailed explanations of various positions, this book is for you.

This book answered some questions I had and helped my husband and I. The details inside the book will not leave you wondering.

This book was just what I was looking for. It gives lots of pictures but they are very tasteful and there were paragraph descriptions with each of them. It talks about kissing, massaging and then various different positions. It also includes oral and I was looking for some new ideas and it was perfect for that.

The book is informative, easy to read and tastefully illustrated. I was surprised by how much the Kama Sutra positions weren't as crazy as I'd imagined.

Anne Hooper's Kama Sutra
This book seems like a fabulous thing, but when you begin reading through it seems that the positions are unrealistic and are not explained that well. It was interesting, and the models are beautiful, but I didn't find it was something my partner and I could use practically.

I was a little embarassed with the type of words that are suggested. Stuff about Mother Earth and similar "hippy" terms that to me are not erotic. There are a few suggestive phrases that have helped me open up and come up with my own ideas. But this is really a starter book and should be much less expensive then it is. Money-wise, I felt I was ripped off. I have looked at some of these word suggestions and laughed! There is no way I could say a few of these things without busting out laughing (the wrong way) during sex! An ok book, but not one I would recommend unless the price drops considerably. I also bought mine used, but clearly should've bought it cheaper!

I throughly enjoyed this book and it opened my eyes to the simplicity of this art.

I admire this author's willingness to explore the taboo subject of dirty talk, no matter how embarrassing and finicky it may seem to some people. I found myself nodding in agreement at society's timid approach to verbal stimulation during intimacy. The Fine Art of Erotic Talk is a great beginner's guidebook on how to express yourself verbally in bed. I was duly impressed with this book.

Do not buy this book. Unless you need to be able to laugh about your inability to "talk dirty" with your partner. This book was a complete and total waste of time and money.

This book gives a very good starting point for couples who are new at erotic talk. Those readers who have already tried this form of communication should probably pass on this selection. It's definitely a beginner's manual.

This book is used in the Family Dynamic's "Dynamic Marriage" course. We've been through the course 3 times. The first time, we were newlyweds and learned a lot about each other. The second time, we'd been married a little while and worked through some issues we needed help in. The third time, we had a great marriage, and we made it even better. It's a wonderful book and an excellent course. I'd recommend it to anyone. The course and the book together have been an indispensable tool in our marriage.

This book contains worksheets that go along with two other books, "Love Busters" & "His Needs, Her Needs." These worksheets help you and your spouse identify for each other the things that kill your love and the things that help your love to grow. They help make you an expert in what will make your spouse fall in love and stay in love with you. The worksheets also help you identify and avoid the things you may unknowingly be doing to ruin and destroy your spouses love for you. There's also a neat worksheet on recreational companionship that helps you and your spouse decide on activities that you would enjoy doing together. This book is highly practical because it is an immediately effective way to figure out what's wrong in your marriage and it gives you solutions to those problems.

When I purchased this book I thought it would be all comedy. I was pleasantly surprised that although it had its funny moments it was also filled with nostalga and caring. A loving story about a father and son and their mutual acceptance.

I LOVED this book. It's written really well, but more than that..it's funny and makes you think about your own life...love...family...death.

I love the relationship that grew between this son and dad...and how the writer found his own love and life by being patient and accepting his dad's love and life.

I highly recommend this to anyone who has older parents and know that life doesn't stop when you are a senior citizen!

Absolutely entertaining, witty and poignant. I work in the elder care field and was delighted by this account of an elderly gentleman's search for romance and yes nooky. Bob Morris tells the story of his father's romantic quests with humor and empathy. A must read for anyone with a single elderly parent or anyone who has hope for a geriatric dating life!

Morris, Bob. "Assisted Loving: True Tales of Double Dating with my Dad", Harper, 2008.

A Unique Father and Son Story

Amos Lassen

The name Bob Morris may be familiar to you as he frequently writes for "The New York Times" Sunday styles section and is a commentator on NPR. He has also written two picture books, one for children and the other for adults who do not like to read. But more than that, he is the author of "Assisted Loving" a delightful new book from Harper's. It is blend of humor and social commentary which shows both the grief at the death of his mother and the new found social life of his father, Joe.
Joe has no concept of social graces and his humor is racy. His hero is Dinah Shore (stumps me too). At 79 years old he is a former New York judge for the state department of motor vehicles. Bob, his son, is a gay journalist who is quite lonely and has been thrust into the position of senior advisor and chaperone to his dad's girlfriends. Among the women that Joe sees are Gracie who is extremely serviceable, Rita who is a bit on the loony side, lovely Edie, Ann who lives on low carbs and Roz who is brilliant.
Bob hopes that his father will find a patient woman so that he can about his life but soon discovers that for either of them finding a mate is no easy job. Bob even begins to wonder if he is pimping foe his fad. Bob's own life is frustrating to him especially since he is a middle-aged gay man (tell me about it). His father encourages him not to give up and the memoir soon becomes a love story about two men that teaches us a good deal about the gift and receipt of affection.
Bob has never had a successful relationship and he also realizes that if his father is happy, he will not be lonely and therefore Bob can have some peace and be left alone to live his own life.
As the two men interact they learn a great deal about each other and they are often both surprised at how much they care for one another. Reading this book is the same as having a good time and the book says a lot about love, pain and disappointment and frustration. We learn that love does not have to be perfect and that there are times when "good love" is good enough. The book not only opens the closet door on gay love but on senior love as well.

Cute, adorable, loveable, a great story (like eating good ice cream), with an impeccable title and chapter headings. Everyone with a senior parent (or who, like me, lost her parents early and wishes they were still around to annoy her) must read this (often) hilarious, (often) touching book. I could go on and on about its merits, but I think you get the picture. Message for BOB and IRA: Mazel Tov on your adorable menage a deux and your gayby. Also: MAKE SURE SPIELBERG SEES IT! Casting: Bob - Jason Segel from Forgetting Sarah Marshall or Richard Gere; Joseph -(unfortunately, Rodney Dangerfield is gone) but how about Don Rickles? Ira - (also, either Segel or Gere...Segel might need a little silvering of the hair). Also, I have to say, Will Ferrell would make a cute Bob; anybody funny, sweet, and able to appear beleaguered at the drop of a tuna fish sandwich.

Good book! Finding it very insightful and very "real" life! Makes for entertaining reading while learning.

I purchased this book for a couple who were in need of some "3rd party" assistance to help them with communicating with each other. My understanding from the husband is that the information contained in the book has proved very helpful.

This is a great book. I would and have recommended it to everyone I know. It is a great way to get people to think logically about things. Has been a big eye opener to my husband. Who won't read it but will listen if I read out loud. Great Great book for the struggling marraige.

I felt this book was insightful, consise, and most importantly helpful. The strategies in this book focus on automatic thoughts, your perception of your mate, and how to foster good communication. The tone of the book is very friendly and non confrontational.
If your relationship is in trouble, or you just want to improve your relationships, this is a good book to get.

This is a great book on cognitve therapy as it applies to relationships. It is well-written, rigorous and illustrates important points with useful examples.

This book goes way beyond what you might see in a pop psychology book and the material is presented in a way that it can be applied. It also provides a useful framework for understanding cogntive therapy in general.

What I feel is missing from this approach is honoring basic compatability. While emotions are strongly linked to thought, there is more to making a relationship work than working through communication patterns and automatic thoughts.

A useful complimentary book is "Will Our Love Last" by Sam Hamburg. This book looks at the aspects of relationship having to do with compatability along three dimensions... chemistry, what he calls wavelength and practical everyday living. This approach provides an alternative lens to look at what is going on beyond the cognitive aspects of the couple's situation.

Well, this is a fantastic book for every man who is married and want his marriage to work whatever the price to be paid (and, since divorce is a financial and emotional ruin for men, this is not a silly attitude). If you are this kind of man, please buy this book. It is full of practical advice. Dr. Haltzman is a no-nonsense man and knows what he is talking about. So I think the book deserves 5 stars.

But being single I bought the book to know more about marriage (because I wanted to be married eventually) and I found it very informative but very depressing. After having finished the book I am fully convinced that marriage is a crappy deal for men and that I am not letting myself caught by this trap. Of course, this is not a problem of the book: Dr. Haltzman says things how they are and I ended up having stiff neck because I was nodding constantly to every thing he said. Even some past behaviours of my past girlfriends which had been so difficult to understand so far, now are very clear under the light of what I have learnt from the book.

Anyway, the message of Dr. Haltzman to make marriage succeed is, in four words, being your wife's servant. Simple but depressing. Some of his advice is :

1. Say "yes" or "no problem" to most things your wife ask you to do. (This way, the complaining and arguments disappear).

2. Fulfill all her needs before expecting your needs to be fulfilled. Expecting your wife to meet you half-way is delusional (when you think you are halfway, she thinks you are one-tenth of the way and her opinion is the important one). As Dr. Haltzman says, only when she recognizes the man is totally committed to her happiness, then (and only then) can the man begin to get his own needs meet.

3. Hide your feelings of vulnerability (these are some of the secrets which the title refers to), although women say "they love men who are in touch with their feelings" (but this is not true). However, listen very carefully when your wife expresses her feelings. (This is the most depressing advice. I wonder why I should marry, if I can't share my feelings of sadness with the person who I love most in the world, if I end up feeling alone in a relationship).

4. Make marriage your job. Problems in your relationship are to be approached with the same mentality as problems in your job. Keeping your marriage alive requires attention every day. (So there is no time to relax even after a hard day. You end up working twice).

5. Something along the lines that you may have thought the wedding ring was enough evidence of your commitment. But for her, the vows are only a start, she wants you to prove your love for her every day. To do this, you must give up your bachelor identity.

Reading this review it would seem that I am attacking Dr. Haltzman. I am not. He is so right. When reviewing my past relationships with this information, everything makes sense. This is the way to make a marriage work, no doubt. What is wrong is marriage. The depressing truth is that marriage is not worthwile for men. You trade your independence, your possibility of having several partners, your freedom, your peace of mind, your financial assets for..what? For working every day to please your wife, that's for. It is everything about HER. Your needs are only the last thing to be considered.

And if she divorces you - as Dr. Haltzman says, some 70% of divorces are initiated by the woman - it is even worse. She takes your children, your assets, your house and you end up paying her alimony and child support. So, bottom line, why marry?

So, in summary, if you are married and want to avoid divorce, please buy this book. If you are single and want to know what is marriage beyond all these coloured glasses the media (ckick-lit, romantic movies, etc) put on it, please buy this book (but don't be surprised if you end up depressed and sad, like I am now). This is a necessary book for men. 5 stars, and if there were 10 stars, I would rate it with them.

Its a great book for him to read and if he does it works wonders for us!

I think this is a great book that has some practical principles in it for all men to learn from and apply them to their everyday lives.

At the conclusion of the introduction to his book, The Secrets of Happily Married Men, Dr.Scott Hazelton writes that it is not his aim to merely assist in making marriages okay, he wants to help make them great! At the outset of the book, he creates a "job description" for husbands. He calls it; The First Way: Make Your Marriage Your Job
The following seven chapters enourage the reader to work toward that goal. From the Secrets of MarriedMen.com, Dr. Scott shares the following observation by a man named Frank, age 48, married for 25 years;

You both must give 100 percent of yourself in your marriage if you
want it to work. Love her the same as you did when you dated and
make her feel like the most important thing on earth. You had
better find the time or you will find yourself divorced. If you
can't find the time to do this, why did you ever get married?

Hazelman reiterates a conclusion that was made by Gottman which says after tempers flare and hurtful things are said, the future of a relationship depends on how the couple makes up-or at least engages in some sort of damage control.

He goes on to say that a husband's greatest challenge is to foster, within his wife's heart, a real and lasting faith that she can trust him.

I was looking forward to reading this book given the reviews and synopsis, but was sorely disappointed, and even a bit downright annoyed at Haltzman's subtle sexism and simplistic explanations. Better bets would be the work of Steven Stosny (wowed by his "I Can't Take It Anymore..."), Terrence Real (my hubby is impressed by his insight), and John Gottman (whose work in the love lab is remarkable).

When I initially started reading this book I though it was a waste of time. However, the book is fantastic. I got much insight into relationships and dealing with the ending of mine. The pain I was experiencing disapeared and I am able to move on without resentments. In fact, I have the ability to experience love.

I listened to this book on audio over 10 years ago, and again recently. As I have matured and 'done my work', I can increasingly see the value and authenticity of this book and Kingma's other works. This book is only about the Ending of relationships, and how we can accept and even profit from the experience. Granted, there is much that is left out (e.g., avenues of reconciliation, effects on children, etc.) but what is covered is the best I have ever found. Some remarks on the more critical reviews:
- I'm not a psychologist but I disagree that Kingma is proposing a 'neo-Freudian perspective.' I would rather suggest Alice Miller and Murray Bowen (creater of Bowen Family Systems) as much more modern, informed and fitting psychological views embraced by Kingma. Most of the stuff we bring to our relationships IS from our parents and family experience including, as Kingma suggests, the incomplete or recreated experiences from other intimate relationships. We either finally get IT right; or we keep doing IT over and over again.
- I agree not everything in this book is useful to everyone. But that is true of all books.
- Finally, some reviews miss the incredible pay-off of Kingma's approach: There is a reason for the end of every relationship, and that reason need not, should not, be construed as a personal failure. We learn from each and every relationship. If we can break free from the 'happy-ever-after' model we have inherited from our culture, we can actually see the beautiful progression of our lives as we struggle to be whole, free and open to both giving and receiving love. This allows us gratitude for each and every person we have loved. Much better than viewing all of us as failures.

If you are called to this topic my advice is to start with Kingma's book and then, only then, see what else can be found on this subject.

Recommended to me by my therapist. I found it very easy to read. And the ideas made me really think inside of myself as I am going through these difficult times of separation. It gave me the feeling that there is hope and life after a potential divorce situation. Although I still cling onto hope that things will work out for us, having the knowledge in this book gives me some comfort.

As another reviewer stated, "The theme is rather unnerving in that one might conclude that it is inevitable that most marriages/relationships will fail." Yes, that is what Ms. Kingma believes and slowly convinces you into believing it too, if you are "one the fence" about leaving a relationship. She ENCOURAGES divorce and breaking up, and validates your decision to do so, as the title implies. (jmho).

If you are working on your relationship or marriage, this is NOT the book for you. This book will take whatever is left of it and guide you in how to end it - literally. See pgs. 76 & 77 as an example.

We know much more about the psychodynamics of marriage and relationships since this book was published, though it was only eight years ago. Family of Origin issues that go uncovered or denied are often at the root of relationship and marital issues, issues that if uncovered, healed and understood, could save a viable relationship or marriage.

NOT ALL realtionships end after an affair, end when there are differences in personality, beliefs, or opinions. Many of those differences were there when ther couple came together. It may even be what attracted them to each other... a balance in the coupling. Many unnecessarily do end marriages and relationship, due to the type of "biased" advice such as Ms. Kingma's, complete with a step-by-step recipe on how to do it and why you should.

Interesting that she also authored a book titled, "True Love"! I thought she just told (convinced) us there is no such thing?

This book seems to have been written for and popular with those who want out of a relationship or have already ended one. A kind of self-validation of, "I did the right thing". If validation of your decision to end your relationship is what you are looking for... you will certainly find that in 'Coming Apart'.... a "how-to" book on break-up and divorce.

PS - If you don't work out your issues in the relationship you are in... you will continue to revisit the same issues in the next, and the next, relationship until you do. Running away from relationship/marital problems, does not make them "go-away". The grass in NOT always greener in the next relationship... it's usually the same old grass, just in a different yard.
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Other Recommendations:

Grow Up! - Pittman
How to Be An Adult in Adult Relationships - Rico
If the Buddha Married (a series of 3 books) - Kasl

I disagree with the reviewer who wrote: "The theme is rather unnerving in that one might conclude that it is inevitable that most marriages/relationships will fail." This statement is clearly skewed from a diminished ability to read deeper into the meaning of some of the statements surrounding the claim.

This book is exceptional. It does not contain a bunch of psychological-jargon. Rather, it is a book that made me look at myself. Stephen Coven once asked, "Why does it always take some catastrophic life event to make us look at ourselves?" (paraphrased). This book focuses on relationships, and how the breaking up of a relationship forces us to look at ourselves if we are to heal and grow from the experience. The author never implies that relationships WILL fail. Rather, her writing is realistic, though some of us would prefer to believe that failed marriages and broken relationships are not "reality". Marriages fail in the church all of the time. Her truths align with Biblical truths, though there are no religious slants.

Daphne inspires us to look at who we are and the influences and experiences that have made us who we are. She provides so many examples of different types of relationship problems and successes that you will certainly draw meaning specific to your situation.

Her work is true to the heart and cuts right to it. It makes you face the truth of who you are and what it is that you need and expect from a relationship. It helps you to turn extremely painful break-up experiences into some kind of good; it forces us to extract the part of the relationship that might make us a better person. It is certainly a giant step in helping us to deal with the emotional pain.

Thank you, Daphne, for your insights and truths.

Here's the blueprint for a happy, lifelong union. It's called "staying together no matter what" --- and these couples, married 40 or 50 years or longer, tell you exactly how they did it.

Author Maggie Scarf has written a wonderful treatise on fulfillment in marriage, and shows us how you get there: going through hard times, and moving forward with courage and commitment to a better tomorrow.

There's nothing simplistic here, no formula, no program. Instead, there's the sage advice of 'the greatest generation' and others --- showing us the virtue and value of keeping your promises and staying together.

A great gift for a wedding or anniversary --- and a great read for yourself.

Dr. David & Lisa Frisbie
The Center for Marriage & Family Studies
Del Mar, California
Authors of ten books, including: The Soul-Mate Marriage: The Spiritual Journey of Becoming One