Sex Relationships Books

I bought this book for my wife in order to help her understand the mind of a man. She doesn't seem to get it after 20 years of marriage. However, I read it first just to make sure that it applied to me. I was very pleased with the book. It was "on the money" overall. There were a couple of sections that didn't apply to me, but probably once did, e.g., the section on deciphering a man's pickup line.

The material was presented in a very practical way, however, it didn't get into much depth. Depth may not be necessary as long as a woman can get a general idea of the mind of men. What I mean is that this book doesn't deal with psychology. It just gives you practical insight into how guys think.

I did hope that the book would cover specific topics for married men. Most of the examples and illustrations seemed to involve boyfriend/girlfriend relationships in my opinion -- though I wasn't necessarily keeping count. It just felt that way to me.

If you are looking for a book to give to your wife so that she could understand men better and therefore understand you, then I highly recommend this book. I was really anxious to read it when I first got it just to see how accurate it was from my own thinking and I was pleased that it really did describe me and my thinking patterns. I guess that means that I'm a typical guy. Whoa!

Now hopefully my wife will read it. The ultimate goal is to improve our relationship. Not that we have a bad marriage or anything like that. There are many issues that persist that I feel could be resolved if my wife just understood how I think so that she would hopefully be able to communicate with me more effectively. I would like to do the same for her. Again. This was a very good book.

I found a few revelations in this book about what men want and need. I thought I already knew that, but I didn't. You'll have to read the book to find out what they are. Personally, I believe men and women would do a lot better with each other if they didn't think so much and just did what comes naturally. Romance, love and sex aren't really all that complicated. You can make it as simple or as complicated as you want to. I'm pretty sure there is one thing men want, and that is oral sex. Women not only want oral sex, but a large majority of them need it in order to orgasm. Here's a book that will answer that need for both men and women: Was that an earthquake? The Sensuous Couple's (Flip Over) Guide to Seismic Oral Sex. It's a fun flip over book, with everything you need to know about fellatio on one side and everything you need to know about cunnilingus on the other side.

I was disappointed, it is not very specific in regards to men, love or sex. I was hoping for a good book like, "What Men Want" by the three professional men. This book is just way too general, although he throws in an occasional statistic. Kind of funny, but light on specific and applicable information. I read it in one sitting. Go for the other book- it's excellent!

Every page of every section has something focused on the sex issue, overkill. Definitely not geared toward anyone already married. Although it has some very good tidbits of info, doesn't really fulfill what it promises.

I'm not done reading it yet, but, I like the book because it is helping me to better understand a species I thought was un-understandable. It makes sense, but I still have a few unanswered questions. I'm hoping that they will be answered by the time I get to the end.

Sandra Anne Taylor has most certainly written an exceptional book here.

Delves deeply into such topics as energetic truth, pleasure gap, & paradoxical intent etc. as is relevant to relationship & romance.

Truely expands your understanding & ability to manifest the life of your dreams.

Another highly recommended book,

'NEXUS' by Deborah Morrison & Arvind Singh, a thought-provoking and inspirational novel about a psychological/spiritual journey.

Nexus: A Neo Novel

This book is what I hoped for, and even more!
It teaches you the ways to bring love into your life, and enjoy happiness and fulfilling relationships, step by step! And above all, it teaches you that you must find love inside yourself first, in order to experience the love of others!
I definitely recommend it!

I like this book, it gives alot of hope and optimisim to ones life.
It helped me look at myself in a different way, positivte for sure.
The life stories or other people's experiences mentioned in the book many people can relate to, including myself. Very well written, I almost spent a whole weekend on it. I just have one comment regarding the medetitation part mentioned I hoped it was more elaborated because I believe it is very important to practice meditation in this stressfull life of ours.
Overall this is a very good book. I recommend it to all.
I reached chapter 11, few more to go :-)

Life seems to get harder, but with the information in this book you can take control and change your life around for the better. Rarely does a book deliver what it advertises. This is one book you can count on to improve those areas in your life needing attention. I found this book to be easy to read while giving practical solutions that are easily applied to every day life. I found the suggestions in this book helped me find ways to improve my relationships. Now more than ever we need positive alternatives to augment our relationships, Sandra Taylor's book delivers on all counts. I cannot recommend it enough.

I have bought many copies of this book for family and friends. It is wonderful and has really worked in my life and my friends. I recommend this book to many of my patients.

This simple book is all about empowering our young kids to say no to uncomfortable touch. The simple illustrations and language help kids understand it is okay to say "No!" to anyone when they don't like what's happening.

It includes examples of times kids like to be touched, like giving a hug or holding a baby's hand. And some times when they might not like to be touched, such as someone holding them too tightly.

They then provide a script for kids to practice saying if someone touches them in a way they don't like or asks them to touch them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable.

Teaching our kids their bodies are their own and they have the right to decide when they will share their bodies is a message that will serve them in the long term and that's what this little book is all about!

This book is a great way to start teaching your kids about appropriate and inappropriate touching. This is a tough subject, and I didn't want to scare my little ones about this, and this book does a great job of showing children how to be assertive and say "NO" when someone wants to touch the child or wants the child to touch them.

There are many plusses to this book. That it was even written and is available is a HUGE plus. It is a message that children need to hear...over and over and over...That it is their body. That they have the right to feel *good* or *not good* about what someone is doing to it...and that they can say that, LOUDLY.

I do wish it was more visually *interesting* as it really is geared to younger childen. It could use more color to keep up the interest. Unfortunately, I tended to lose my son's interest when I was reading this... When he was young a *message book* wasn't strong enough reason to sit still, he visually needed the pictures. That said, I still did read this when from time to time. I would just pick up where I *lost* him the previous time.

The importance of this message can't be underscored enough and I don't think that the lack of visual *punch* is enough of a reason to not buy this. On the contrary, I think you should find every way you can to teach this message to your children.

This is a book with a message that cannot be stressed enough. One major message that cannot be overemphasized is that abusers are NOT always strangers. Very young children are provided with tools of empowerment in this book and I like the direct way this serious topic of improper touching is addressed. While the illustrations are somewhat bland and lacking in color, that still does not detract from the book's main message.

I like the examples of unwelcome nonsexual touches such as enduring hugs and kisses from somebody the child either dislikes or does not know; unpleasant variations on "acceptable" touches, such as a hug that is too firm. Good or acceptable touch is explored, such as holding someone's hand and kissing someone you like/love. A good point about doctor examinations is given - although check ups are never pleasant, it is important to discuss with children why the doctor needs to examine every part of their bodies to ensure good health with no intention to hurt. That is a special case, but it still needs to be openly discussed.

Many children love to test out their new-found powers and in reading this to a group of young children and telling them to practice declaring refusal is very effective. It is also very empowering. Being loud with an abuser will undoubtedly get them to back off as predators do not want to attract attention to themselves.

The drawback is that it can be somewhat awkward to explain to a relative or other trusted adult such as a neighbor why your child refuses a hug and expresses dislike for it, but honoring the child's wishes is paramount. For example, there are numerous cases where children with autism find hugs too overwhelming because of sensory stimuli. The onslaught of sensory stimuli can be the feel of the hugger's clothing; cologne/perfume smells; feeling constricted and scratchy beards can make hugs far from pleasant or welcome. Many nonverbal autistic children who flee hugs can have this behavior explained in this manner. I knew one child who ran from a relative because the relative was loud and booming and known to swoop down on children with raucous displays of affection. The child found the noisy display frightening and annoying. From that child's perspective, the hugger's behavior looked like an attack. Although hugs have gotten good press over time, scant attention has been given to "unpleasant" hugs and the rights of people who don't want them. Then again there is the child's personality. There are people who are not overly fond of hugs and find them restrictive, and intrusive.

The words of David Crosby from 1969, "teach your children... give them a code which you can live by..." is a good summary of this book.

This is indeed an excellent book to help people protect their children from possible abuse, sexual or otherwise. It is non-threatening and having the child/children participate by adding their voices to the work make it all the more effective.

In addition to this book, I highly recommend Linda W. Girard's "My Body is Private;" Sandy Kleven's "The Right Touch: A Read Aloud to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse" and Cornelia Spelman's "Your Body Belongs to You" and Peter Alsop's excellent collection of songs entitled "Songs on Sex & Sexuality," most particularly the song entitled "My Body." These are all family geared and outstanding teaching tools that will certainly go far in creating a safer environment.

When I worked with abused kids, I came across a wonderful paperback book called "It's My Body" in which a little kid talks about how he/she (drawing is quite gender-neutral) likes giving and receiving some touches, like when Daddy holds his hand or when he climbs into Mommy's lap. He doesn't like giving or receiving some touches, like when GreatAunt Sally hugs him too tight or when someone he doesn't know very well wants him to give them a kiss. If he receives or is asked to give a touch he doesn't like, he says, "Don't do that. I don't like it!" or "I won't do that. I don't like it!" (I believe it mentioned some necessary touches like seeing the doctor...)

We took the book in to my son's pre-K and read it to the class, and all the kids got to chime in and say in a big loud voice, "Don't do that. I don't like it!" They loved it. It is a very non-threatening book, but it allows the child to practice noncompliance in a big loud voice with lots of approval from trusted adults.

Most child molesters select their victims based on the victim's compliance. A young child is naturally reluctant to refuse the demands of an adult. If you train the child from babyhood that he is not only allowed but encouraged to state his noncompliance with some demands on his body, you have given the child a tool to protect himself. A loud refusal attracts attention, which is the LAST thing a pedophile wants, and it may well scare off a predator.

Is it sometimes embarrassing for the parent? Yes! When GreatAunt Sally tries to hug your 3-year-old child and he loudly proclaims, "Don't do that. I don't like it!" you do have a little explaining to do.... When you reach out to give your four-year-old a kiss and he says, "Don't do that. I don't want kisses anymore," it is *very* hard to catch yourself and calmly say, "OK, it's your body and you have the right to decide that." (It was certainly hard for me!)

This is a wonderful book to help any parent make his child less vulnerable to abuse, either physical or sexual. It is very easy to read with your child, very non-threatening, and can be quite fun. I highly recommend it.

I found this book to be an excellent resource for dealing with my own personal seperation. It gives excellent advice that has already help settle down all the turbulent emotions and is allowing for calmer minds on both sides. Very well written, easy to follow and very real world advice.

Thid wonderful book helps one recognize and intergrate emotional, intellectual and financial consideraions and to rationally consider options.

In the heat of a break up, this book gives practical advice on how to discern what is the best route to take. It was recommended on a chat sight for divorcing couples and I would highly recommend it to people who are still within a disfunctional relationship.

I really liked the book. It was easy to read and had a lot of useful information. I liked the different relationship examples. Although not one of them were exactly us...there were a few similarities in many of the relationships we could relate to. We did use the contract format, made our own revisions and agreements (although we decided we didn't need a formal signed agreement, we at least covered the points we needed and included a small blurb about the finances as well).
A great way to help make decisions in a rational way!

Excellent book and innovative concept. Very good case studies; one or two that will likely apply to the reader's own situation. The title misleads just a bit in that I thought the book was going to help me then-and-there as to whether I should stay or go. It deals more with the task of separating and the rules that go along with it, so that you CAN decide whether to stay or go. I found that this book was excellent as a second-read, behind "Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay." Would absolutely recommend both books for that delicate situation of being in a shaky, unresolved marriage.

As I read this book, the thought "pop psychology" came up over and over in my mind. A school teacher and a master's level therapist write a book on narcissists after reading 2--count em in the bibliography--2 books that give some information about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

One of these is Sam Vaknin's famous book on NPD, and the other is the DSM-IV criteria for the disorder. They also draw heavily on another pop psychology book listed in the bibliography "Codependent No More", to provide you the means to decide why you stay or have stayed with your Narcissist (N). It's ALL opinion--there isn't an ounce of empricism (research based) information that I can find in this book.

The two stars are because the book has some utility. What is valuable about this book--and many other pop psychology books, is that for a person in emotional distress, validation and hope are offered. Both are certainly worthwhile supports.

What is egregious about this book is in my opinion, is the authors' somewhat muddled sense of what constitutes NPD. It appears that the authors read Vaknin's book, and presumably the DSM description, assimilated some sense of what constitutes a Narcissist, then wrote their own book. They drift around in the concept throughout the book. Some of the vignettes of "narcissists" are weak, and could describe any number of disorders besides NPD.

Some of the information is ridiculously wrong. To pick one my favorites: "Carl Jung, the famous psychologist, theorized that co-dependency is brought about by society." Jung was a PSYCHIATRIST, and never wrote a single word about "co-dependency"--a term coined in the 1960's, that found root in the 70's, and was used to describe a condition whereby people connected to alcoholics and drug addicts were enabling the addicts behavior.

In this same chapter (14) with the above error the authors decide to soapbox by now bravely venturing forth on the back of yet another pop psychology book, Reviving Ophelia, that moves into a rant about how "society" creates co-dependent women. If you're a male reading about your narcissistic female partner, you may start to feel a little left out at this point.

Their recovery stategies essentially consist of learning about NPD, studying yourself and why you stay or stayed (let me give you their conclusion for you--CODEPENDENT), deciding your lover past or current has NPD, then writing letters to the ex-narcissist, but not mailing them. They also suggest professional help if you need it. These suggestions are not bad ideas, but who needs to buy a book to discover them?

I have other criticisms of this book--which starts out a lot stronger than it concludes, but still give it a half hearted recommendation because there is a dearth of good books on coping with NPD in the marketplace, thus giving this book some utility that it might not otherwise have. Buy it used if you must have it. There is at least as useful information on the web for free.

At first I found this book difficult to get into, but I think that's because it's less of an informational read than an therapeutic experience evoked by words. Leave this book for a long weekend when you have time to get into your emotions and do some journaling or art along with it. It's use of co-dependent terminology was sometimes a little off-putting, but overall the book provided insights I hadn't gained in any other books on the subject. I especially found the distinction between somatic and cerebral narcissists useful.

I turned to this book after being worked over once again by a master, and it cut right to the heart of the matter. The authors have done a fine job documenting the behaviors, and it is very helpful, if distressing, to have an "ah ha!" moment on every page! I do wish, however, there was more on healing and learning to avoid these people in the future. Awareness can be momentary -- I've been fooled many times, and this would be a valuable addition to the book. Still, it is a valuable aid to anyone who is suffering in a relationship with a narcissist.

I can't tell you how accurately this book described my soon-to-be exhusband. I was totally confused and mortally wounded when he decided it was time to move on from what I had considered a very happy marriage.
My recovery started with reading this book and learning about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and understanding how my background made me the perfect victim of a narcissist. Now that I know these things, I am confident that I will be able to identify a narcissist from a mile away, and once healed and stronger, will be able to create a better relationship in the future.

Is your man (or woman) moody (like, Jekyll and Hyde moody) for no apparent reason?

Does he fly into a rage when you ask him simple questions?

Does he treat you badly and then disappear for days, only to reappear and act like nothing happened?

Does he (or she) say unbelievably hurtful things to you for no reason and when you tell him so, he says "you're overreacting" or "you're too emotional"?

Does he only keep his word when it applies to something he wants to do?

Do you feel confused, chaotic, and drained from being with him?

Chances are your man (or woman) is suffering from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a bona fide psychiatric disorder characterized in the American Psychiatric Association's bible, the DSM-IV. But don't take my word for it. Read Narcissistic Lovers by Cynthia Zayn and Kevin Dibble and see for yourself how your man compares to the many characteristics and examples in the book.

Narcissistic Lovers saved me from months of recovery after I was drained and discarded by an NPD after a 6-month involvement. I would say 6-month "relationship", but Zayn makes it very clear that one does not have a "relationship" with an NPD; it isn't possible. Ironically, the NPD even told me once that he wasn't trying to have a relationship with anybody (meaning me at the time). Of course, neither of us realized at the time that he was incapable of having a relationship with anyone anyway.

I read half a dozen self-help books on relationships before I finally came across Narcissistic Lovers. On every page I read the uncanny accuracy with which this book described my ex-boyfriend--the things he did and said, his habits and behaviors. It was as though the authors had eavesdropped on us. In Narcissistic Lovers, I found the truth and it set me free indeed.

It amazes me to see that even in the psychopathy of personality disorders, human beings are still creatures of habit. As nuts as the narcissist's behavior is, it is consistent from one narcissist to the next, whether the narcissist is male or female, regardless of economic, social, racial, or educational backgrounds. This is good news for those of us who have fallen victim to these predators; without consistency, their behavior couldn't be classified and we'd never know what hit us.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who was drained by a lover who did his evil and then simply waltzed off, leaving you to sweep up the dust of your desiccated self-esteem. Read this book, replenish, recover, and know that what ails the NPD wasn't your fault, although he no doubt blamed everything on you whenever you voiced any discontent.

Most books on narcissism focus on the narcissistic parent. If you were romantically involved with a narcissist, this book speaks directly to your pain. Make it your bible for recovery from the NPD and move on with your life. It should be recommended reading for anyone who dates these days, as narcissism is rampant in our culture and only appears to be getting worse. Get educated and protect yourself from these real-life vampires. Narcissistic Lovers also gives online support resources and a bibliography of books that address how to deal with your (perhaps) propensity for NPDs. Even if you trust your instincts and drop these losers the first time they harm you, you may find it fascinating (as I did) to learn about narcissism and the various other personality disorders that are on the rise.

This book is a more positive approach to a good marriage rather than looking at all the problems in a marriage. It helps us to notice the good things in a marriage no matter how small. And many times, we don't see or remember the little things that make a marriage work.

Yes, the book is a good one, even flows and transitions between ideas very nicely. only problem that i have with the book... is that quite a bit of the information should already be known by all.

...the authors attempt to evaluate what makes a marriage last by interviewing couples...or at least they CLAIMED they interviewed these couples...frankly, I have to wonder if they simply didn't make up the couples as well as the interviews...there seems to be little overlap in characteristics of the relationships...also, the interviewee responses strike me as quite contrived and really don't sound very authentic...the responses of the men, in particular, sound more like something a woman would IMAGINE a man saying...sorry but I just don't think there is much to be gained from this book.

What caught my eye about this ingrossing and captivating book began on page 20 where the author is describing a variety of couples she has interviewed for her study and that while each of them is unique and in some place 180 opposite is that "I realized then that each of these marriages was a different world, a sovereign country unto itself. Rather than a single archetype of happy marriage, I found many different kinds. Like a richly detailed tapestry, each relationship was woven from strands of love, friendship, sexual fulfillment, nurture, protection, emotional security, economic responsibility, and co-parenting. But the patterns in the marital weave varied, and gradually I began to see several distinctive types. I learned that at the heart of any good marriage is a core relationship created out of the conscious and unconcisous fit of the partners needs and wishes. This core reflects what each partner wants and expects from the other -- expectations influenced by relationships that begin in infancy, childhood, and adolescence but are ultimately shaped within marriage", or what the author and I agree are core loves, likes and can live with.

And I simply loved reading about all the different couples, varied challenges and successes and failures that didn't make the marriages fall a part. Simply a wonderful book.

I have read 10-15 books relating to marriage preparation and making sure one is ready to pick and BE a good spouse. This was by far the best. The author reassured me that people who grew up with unhappy childhoods & unhappy parents have as good a chance at a happy marriage as others. It also made me aware of many issues these couples had that I had not considered. This book prompted me to think about what I want from my future husband as a type of marriage, as an emotional partner, as a parental partner etc. MUST READ! I also highly recommend "What you Need to know before you fall in Love" as a good gut check of what is normal in a relationship and what isn't, what areas you need to check on (do you have a meeting of the minds spiritually, financially, intellectually etc), and it has a great chapter on warning signs (are you dating this person to impress your boss, annoy your parents, or get revenge on an ex?). I highly recommend Harville Hendrix's Book "How to Find the Love you Want" for a more in depth look at how our childhood affects our need for love and influences our search for the source of that love.

I've never read a dating book quite like this one. It takes the approach of being sales to land the man you want. It's quite ingenious and really makes a lot of sense. I've read plenty and this one is a standout, along with another I also liked: Dating Sense: The Practical Way to Meet, Date and Marry the Right Person.

I too managed to read this book in two days. Couldn't put it down. I just got out of an 8yr relationship and didn't know "how" to date. But with her advice, I now have two guys eating out of the palm of my hand! It's well written and makes for a very easy read. I definitely recommend this book. Have already passed my copy onto one of my girlfriends to read.

I've read a million dating books and most of them a big snores. Too technical or too cheeky. I loved the cover and concept of this one, so I bought it and I was so pleasantly surprised! First of all, it's so well written and easy to read, I finished the entire book in 2 days. I just couldn't stop reading. It was impossible not to because the author just talks to you like your best friend and you want to keep listening. Second, her tips are great. Very simple things that I never thought of that really make a huge difference in how you approach guys. HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!!

To submit your body and life to another - no, this isn't a religious thing. This is a few people's ideas of romance. Now in a new and updated edition for the new millennium, "The Loving Dominant" is a guide to the BDSM (a short hand way of abbreviating the life style meaning Bondage, Discipline, Submission, and Masochism) for any reader too timid to vocally ask the questions about the lifestyle which is more kind and loving than it seems to the people involved. Covering advice to make the best of the lifestyle to all, and with advice on toy-construction and photography, "The Loving Dominant" is an ideal addition to any human sexuality shelf and for any alternative lifestyle collection.

This is a good beginners book with short sections on different topics. That's all it is thoughm a beginners book. If you're looking for something more in-depth, then this book will do nothing but disappoint you. I ordered this book along with Different Loving. This one is now shelved while Different Loving is being refered to over and over again. Unless you're a beginner or someone just curious, I wouldn't get this one.

This book definitely lends itself as a "how-to." Not necessarily in the way that it gives you a step by step lesson in how to domme someone in a specific scene but it is more of a lesson in how to achieve a safe, sane, and consensual domme/sub relationship. I feel like a lot of books lately have given the impression that a BDSM relationship is more about hate than love. This book definitively does NOT do that.

This book is good for a beginner because it gives you a more philosophical view of being in a sub/dom relationship. It stresses safety when playing. The writer is an experienced dominant who expresses himself well. It is a good companion book to SM 101.

From personal experiences to helpful hints.

I'd recommend this book for any Dom wishing to improve his/her game.

Deida is a unique teacher that any couple grappling with the pursuit of god and love concurrently will appreciate. He is right on point.

Wow. I ran across this book about a year ago when I accidentally went to a "tantra" workshop by a woman who taught Deida stuff and this was the "prerequisite" to read before the class (although I didn't know this before showing up for the class and had never heard of David Deida). I had arrived the night before the workshop, borrowed the book and spent most of the night drowning myself in David Deida. A light immediately went on and I knew the truth of what he was saying.
I tried out one of the concepts the next week at a desert campout where 2 guys were building a big structure. Normally, I'd have jumped in and helped the construction. But his teachings stopped me and instead, I just unobtrusively brought them snacks and water throughout the day and made sure they were not dying in the desert heat. To this day those 2 guys will get a big grin and introduce me as the one who saved their lives in the desert.
From there, I found out about an ongoing group that taught Deida work and continued in active practices, reading and listening to his work. Fast forward 1 year to today and I'm now with my soul mate that I met almost exactly a year after I discovered Deida's work. He naturally has male essence and just looovvveees how I deal with him. He feels bigger and stronger when he's around me and he even attributes his long sought after weight gain, to his body literally filling out to be the bigger man that he's become since he's met me!!! In a way, I feel like Deida's training teaches women how to be muses to their men.
Something about your whole energy changes when you start doing this work and I'm a very different person now than I was a year ago. I'm more tolerant towards men, easier to get along with, enjoy sex more, find it easier to "let go" of slights that I wouldn't in the past and I'm more creative about solutions to relationship issues. I don't seem to expect as much from a partner, but always get way more than I could have hoped for. Rather than "needing" something and him giving it to me by obligation, I can create a "space" for him to step into, give me what I want and get what he wants at the same time- all without him knowing that I've even done anything at all. It's almost magical.
I can't recommend Deida enough. His teachings definately fly in the face of what society would consider appropriate. Some of it feels downright insulting and disgusting until you try it and find that your man responds in ways that you always thought only guys in romance novels respond to women. I now have the lover that I always wanted, but never thought really existed. I'm totally living a romance novel life and its incredible. Thanks again David Deida!

This is a great book because it simply lays out the structure in men and women. The book helps the awareness of men and women change from confusion to understanding. Its appearent to me that in our culture both sexes has a misunderstanding in dealing with each other and even themselves. Me as a young man, this book has helped me to better understand myself and my counter parts.

This book gives us so much to think about, but there is still something missing. After each chapter I closed my eyes and thought through the lessons and how I could apply them to my own relationships. It really is insightful

Great philosophy here: an excellent guide to gender motivation and energy polarities. David Deida is brilliant, with a visual style of interpreting the realms of transpersonal psychology.

I've given this book 4 stars only due to poor editing - it becomes redundant after the first few chapters.

Saturate your mind with Deida's work at his `Blue Truth' site, or visit `Integral Naked', where you can watch some of his workshop videos and interviews for free!

The cover and title itself, at first glance, could lead one to believe this was another in a long line of Oprah-esque literary campaigns designed to scare the crap out of our kids not to mention us....their parents!
Unprecedented in it's examination of past as well as current issues of Childhood Sexuality as well as an almost non-debatable presentation of facts, legal and/or otherwise, this is proving to be the benchmark of books on this delicate subject.
To her credit Judith Levine has taken the proverbial 'Slings and Arrows' for daring to write "Harmful to Minors" and will probably spend the better part of her career defending it's position. This reviewer never thought a book like this could ever be written much less published and I never thought I would be able to say this but ` It's about g*# damn time!'
This is coming from a proud parent and a loyal son. Now before some of you go off on some wild tangent about `sexualizing our kids' understand this. Sex and experimentation happens whether we want to believe it or not. It happens at various ages with various ages at various times in various places with various people. One of the `Bromides' I've always lived by is `I don't care who's wrong or right, I care what's wrong or right!' and after reading her book on this subject, I have come to the conclusion that Judith Levine is RIGHT! I am a proud father of two girls and I am both my girl's `Daddy'. Levine's common sense attitude, backed by her meticulous research of facts will find readers asking questions they were either afraid to or refused to ask before. As expected it had its early detractors. Those detractors could do nothing to prove her wrong. They operated with scare tactics and no facts. What a real 'Halloween Coalition' her detractors turned out to be. The extremists of both parties have trashed Levine. People from America's 'Far Right Wing', including it's most vocal ally, the Christian Right's very own 'Eva Braun', Dr. Laura Schlessinger, to the far Left Wing represented by a cavalcade of forgettable names, closely associated with the frigid/asexual/female chauvinist wing of the radical feminist movement. There hasn't been an alliance of this `weirdness' since the 1992 Anti-GAT/NAFTA campaign!
Ironically what I appreciated first was what I appreciated the most; The Title. A passerby catching a glance of just the books title would certainly come to the conclusion that it was some Pseudo-Clinical study of childhood sexual encounters, chocked full of stories of molestation and violence and predictably backed up by law-enforcement statistics proving things like the site of an exposed female breast to anyone under the age of 18 (check your local jurisdictions for Age-Of Consent) will cause that person to become a sexual predator, a deviant, a nymphomaniac or perhaps even go blind.
After delving into it one finds that it is anything but a scare mongering, painfully statistical treatise. While Oprah Winfrey, Pat Robertson and others continue ranting, all the while, steeped in the paranoia of `group-think and waiting for the call to go on the next witch hunt, you may want to take your hopefully open mind into an area not talked about much these days; The positive effects of childhood sexuality. While not an endorsement for `sex for any age with anyone' she does make an excellent and seemingly airtight case for a relaxation of certain `Prurient American ' sex-laws and attitudes. She also thankfully promotes a long overdue examination of our antiquated thoughts and ideas about sex as it relates to our children. It also may be one of the cleverest title-ings for a non-fiction work in the last 20 years. Whether or not you get the 'dipped in sarcasm' humor of the title you will, if read with an open mind, get a sense of the current state of childhood sexuality with it's almost 'Stalinistic' roundups and persecutions of caring parents and bright kids. She provides a common sense approach to dealing with issues of masturbation, sexual experimentation, child/child contact, adult/child contact and fear of sex as it relates to our views as adults. Reviled in some sectors, revered in others, Levine's major accomplishment is perhaps the one thing she didn't foresee. With the release of `Harmful To Minors: The Perils of Protecting Your Children From Sex', she has cracked open the door to a long over-due dialogue on sex and has done so in a way that forces us to face it, discuss it and finally deal with it.... and that my friends, is the most important thing of all.

Mike D.Jones, Sacramento, California

This excellent book provides the ammunition needed in the fight against those that wish to raise the age of sexual consent to 21. Already thousands of children and adolescents have been forced to register as sexual offenders for committing harmless acts such as groping or even pre-marital kissing.

Is consensually kissing someone a couple years under an arbitrary age of consent is really "sinful"? Is it really the job of government to punish this sin with a lifetime sentence?

All thinking people must not fall for the absurd "save the children from sin" bandwagon movement that is spreading sexual dysfunction and fascism. A fascist police state becomes absolutely necessary when the age of consent is higher than puberty. The natural age of consent is puberty. The ultimate goal of the child purity movement is to outlaw premarital sex. Outlawing premarital sex will criminalize far too many of those that we claim to want to protect.

Judith Levine, Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex (University of Minnesota Press, 2002)

I have read, over the years, a handful of books that I consider to be truly important, books that look at a particular aspect of our society, how it has damaged us (perhaps irreparably), and how we might change facets of our culture to stop further damage, and maybe heal some of the damage that's already been done-- Stanton Peele's The Diseasing of America, Gina Kolata's Rehtinking Thin, Philip K. Howard's The Death of Common Sense, and a few others. It's a very short list, mostly because these are books that do not fit in with the prevailing norms in the least. These are books that are unafraid to take a stand against the stupidity of our current culture. They are unpopular, and it's very hard to get them published. That, of course, makes them all the more important. And of them, perhaps, Judith Levine's Harmful to Minors is the most important. While all of them address very important topics, this one attacks the most wide-reaching subject I've found in one of these books: how America's puritanical attitude towards sex has resulted in generations of increasingly oversheltered, and dangerously uninformed, children, and how that oversheltering and lack of information have pushed America to the brink of disaster and allowed a number of social ills (of which AIDS is only the most visible) to fester unchecked.

When I started thinking about how to write this review, the obvious place to start, it seemed, would be with an extended quote from the book. Problem is, I couldn't come up with just one quote; so much of this book needs to be quoted, so much of what Levine has to say needs said, that singling out one or two paragraphs from the book seemed to be doing the rest of it a disservice. With one short exception (we'll get to that later), the entire book is quotable. Obviously, reprinting a 270-page book does not make for a good review, and yet if I could have done so here, I'd have done it in a heartbeat; this is a book that every American parent, or anyone who was raised in the increasingly oppressive anti-child culture that began to foment in the 1950s, desperately needs to read. Some will find validation in these pages that their embarrassing, socially unacceptable, or "morally repugnant" thoughts are universal. Some will come to understand that their beliefs about how they should be parenting their children are shared by many others. The majority, I think, will find that they are not alone, or nearly as rare as they had believed. It's the people whose voices have caused all these insane "protect the children" laws to be enacted who are in the minority; they just scream louder and know what buttons to press. When Levine traces the raft of onerous laws involving day-care workers (especially male day-care workers) not being allowed to show affection to children to the long-discredited McMartin case, the obvious reaction is, "well, since none of that actually happened, why do we still have the laws?" Indeed. And yet, somehow, we do.

I was prepared to stick this book far atop my list of best reads of the year for 2008, despite us being less than five months into the year, before I hit the epilogue. Levine stumbles a bit at the very end of the book; where she spent the majority of the book completely on-point, in the epilogue she suddenly starts lashing out at things that seem to have nothing to do with her thesis, drawing the most tenuous of connections at best. But this is in no way to say that the rest of the book is not well worth your time; in fact, were I drawing up a curriculum of must-read books for every American, this would most certainly be on it.

Children, especially those who are suffering between the onset of puberty and the so-called "magic age" at which we are all supposed to gain maturity overnight, are the last subclass of people it is considered socially acceptable to repress in America. Judith Levine is outraged by this, as we all should be, and Harmful to Minors is the result. The trouble she had getting the book published, which she recounts in the prologue, should set off major warning bells to everyone reading it. This is a deeply, deeply important book, and I strongly suggest you read it as soon as you possibly can. For in the six years since its release, not surprisingly, things have only gotten worse. The arm is already lopped off; the more of us who read this book, understand the consequences of our culture's actions, and speak up about them, the better a chance we have to stanch the bleeding. For if we don't, the patient may not survive the operation. **** ½

I'm almost all the way done, and I absolutely adore this book. The author sets up and supports very firm arguments against the neo-cons and overprotective parents who seek to push their morality on the rest of the nation. This is a must-read for those who wish to understand how our system got to be the mess it is today concerning sex.

I would say this is one of the 5 most important books I've read in my life.

Finally...FINALLY someone has the courage to stand up and say what needs to be said. Our society is dysfunctional. Parents don't know how to talk about sex and earn their children's trust in sexual matters. They pass their ignorance and fear right down to the next generation. Children who do not trust their own parents are definitely more vulnerable to abuse from others, especially when they learn to trust others.

There is so much hysteria, paranoia and flat out ignorance about sex in America. It is astounding!!!

The controversy that this book generated is mostly due to the repressive, morally righteous environment in this country. But Ms. Levine is also sex-positive. She goes beyond simply providing objective information about sex or our dysfunctional ways of dealing with it, she actually advances many of her own opinions about the positive nature of sex and the negative consequences of repression.

To me, sex raises many questions. I don't have all the answers. The only criticism I could make of the book is that Ms. Levine is a little too opinionated and like a race horse at the starting gate. She comes on a little strong for the majority of Americans, many of whom are still struggling to understand how people can be gay. I'm sure many of these people are not yet able to fathom that children can enjoy and benefit from sex with adults. So that part created a lot of controversy.