Sex Relationships Books

"Good Sex" is one of the better books I've read on the market today geared towards women. For many of us, as the book states, it's not about finding a new position or toy, it's about overcoming issues that have held us back in the past, i.e. sexual baggage. The chapter on identifying these issues really hit home for me.

What I also liked about the book was the fact that the author didn't just disscuss such heady issues, but also made it fun by giving me a better technique with which to orgasm by, and, boy, let me just say "the squeeze" really works wonders!!

All in all, I found this to be on of the better sex guides I've owned. Women who have found other sex guides lackidascal might benefit from this one.

I should youtube Susan Rabin first to see if her writing is any indication of her personality. Her writing is all over the place and she appears through her writing to be extremely hyper with thoughts coming and going in every direction with no rhyme or reason to them. I had to go over several parts a few times to try and understand if the example scenario was a success or not a success. At times, I didn't have a clue as to what the point was. The only one I can remember takes place early in the book: It's the scene where she ran into someone in the airport and she glances at her watch and leaves the person she was talking to. I had to read it a few times...was that a successful encounter or not?? I had no clue. What LITTLE useful information that is in the book could have been put into a pamphlet of 5 one sided pages. Her writing is awful. The book is a mess.

I learned a lot about myself through the book. I think if you are looking for a book to lead you in the path too intermingle with someone, this is a great book for you.
It shows you the boundaries that are common for everyone.

Another new bestseller which I highly recommend - The Exclusive Layguide: When Dating and Having Sex with Incredibly Hot Women is No Longer Mirage Even If You Don't Look Like a Model or Don't Make a Fortune

I found the tips on engaging conversation to be very helpful. I've always had difficulty in initiating light hearted flirtation, and this book really helped me find ways to connect.

I gave this book to my son for a birthday present since his social skills regarding flirting were a little dull.
It has helped him in many ways. I recommend the book as well as attending workshops Susan holds which can be seen on her website.

This book has too bitter a spirit for me and seems more directed to women who have a sour relationship with their mother; or are not happy being a mother themselves and trying to deal with that. I cannot see how it is helpful or how it even fits into a mother/daughter help category; it seems to be Nancy Friday's personal tale of how her mother failed her and she is trying to explain why everybody else Must Also be Screwed Up and Unhappy. How is this book constructive and helpful? Not for me. Try something else, really.

This book was written for women, as such men will come away feeling that women are "really screwed up" about thier mothers, and while it does attempt to explain certian things, you do get the feeling that the author wants somebody to blame for the things that have gone wrong in her life... One wonders what her mother though on reading it, if she ever has.

Personally I think "Our Mother's Daughters" by Judith Arcana (published by The Women's Press) is a far better book, a far better read for men too, especially if you want to understand the woman your mother is, rather than the woman you would have her be.

I love my mother, I read her copies of both books, her mother is now dead, it took her a lifetime to deal with the pain, don't waste yours doing the same. Forgive and forget, we are only human after all.

Unless a woman has completley disconnected from her mother (successfully and has maintained it for several years) ... she stands a very high chance of being exactly like her or an extreme opposite to her instead of who she is as a unique person. This book by Nancy Friday explains why. One cannot cut the psychic umbilical cord alone, it takes effort, commitment, and intention to do so. A timeless book on how to heal and love who you are and where you came from while leaving the negative legacies behind.

It took me a while to get into this book... there were several occasions where I tempted to give up on it.

I'm glad I stuck with it though.

Those of you with a difficult mother/daughter relationship will probably benefit from reading this book. I know I did. Even though the author isn't a mother (which does bother me a little), I feel that her theories make sense.

The version I have of this book is quite old and was published in 1977(I picked it up in a used bookstore). I'm not sure what type of editing has been done on newer versions but I'm sure the main message will be the same.

My Mother My Self would benefit women who would like a deeper understanding of their relationship with their own mother, and also their daughters. Men might like to read this to understand the complex dynamics of these relationships.

What I loved most about this book was that the women who gave birth to us are our mothers, but women who teach us life lessons are also our mothers. The definition of mother grows with our abilities to accept more nurturers and teachers in our lives. It is very important to accept the fact about our mothers that they were only human and did the best they could, but that's another life lesson that can ripple more globally.

Ultimately, this book is about choosing mentors and tolerance for human frailties. I'm glad it's still in print.

As a single women who is trying to find a decent african american man. The book offered insight into understanding men and tips to avoid being taken advantage of.

Ladies, this book is a must read about us from a man's persective. Though the chapters are short, they are to the point. You may have been through a lot of these situations, and once you read this book, you will have a better understanding. I purchased 6 to give to young ladies just starting to acquaint themselves with the game (my 19-year-old daughter included). Get it! Read it! Learn from it! Share it!

Hey, ya gotta use your head, not your heart. This ain't the '70s. And to that end, I had to have this book. This guy's spot-on. Guys are geared for sex, which is no big mystery, and while gals dress for it, their ideals are elsewhere. It's time to stop the game and get real. Way to go, Big Boom!

Published Saturday, March 29, 2008 2:15 AM



Odd title takes odd title title


Associated Press



LONDON -- Good advice? Maybe. Oddest book title of 2007 -- that's official.

If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs has won the Diagram Prize for the oddest title of the year, The Bookseller magazine announced Friday.

Big Boom, the apparently pseudonymous author, calls it a "self-help book, written by a man for the benefit of women."

It's a book, he writes, that is "raw, honest and about you," distilling "the sweat off my back, the wrinkles in my forehead from anger and thinking all the time."

The title triumphed in a public vote over runner-up I Was Tortured by the Pygmy Love Queen and the third-place finisher, Cheese Problems Solved.

"The winner, If You Want Closure, makes redundant an entire genre of self-help tomes," said Joel Rickett, deputy editor of The Bookseller. "So effective is the title that you don't even need to read the book itself."

The title joins a pantheon of past winners, including Weeds in a Changing World (1999), The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories (2003), Bombproof Your Horse (2004) and The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification (2006).

This book was disappointing. It seems to address women who have low self esteem, several "baby daddys", unemployed and loose. These are the type of women who wouldn't have purchased this book to begin with...they typically don't read. It's sad to know there are so many women in the categories mentioned above who were preyed upon by this man. This book isn't relevant to educated, employed, indepent women who may have wanted to use it as a reference or teaching tool to pass along to our "little" sisters. I certainly didn't.

I recently purchased this book as I suspect my husband has AS. It has been very informative in helping me communicate in a more successful manner and improve our relationship. I am still not sure if AS is applicable to my situation as I am still on the road to discovery. Any assistance is great.

The author does an excellent job of communicating the difficulty of an AS marriage. The title is wonderful and says it all. She does a good job of explaining the frustrations of everyday life, but is very kind and understanding when speaking of her husband even when he is verbally abusive to her. There was somehow a comfort in reading about the feelings and frustrations that I experience daily. It was like I have a friend who understands completely what I am going through and is sharing her similar story with me. I highly recommend the book.

I am married to an Aspie. I've read many books on this subject. So far, this one is helping *me* with my marriage. The other books helped me to understand the Aspie, but this one is helping me with my reactions to him. This book is written in layman's terms, and in story form which makes it easy for me to understand. I recommend this book highly.

My heart bled for this woman, over and over. Why is it so many loving, sensitive women get in relationships with men with Asperger's? Aspie men are brilliant at presenting themselves as charming, intelligent, slightly shy or aloof and we flock to them like bees to honey- feeling that we are the ones who can rescue and bring them out of their lonely shells. I do understand much about Asperger's, and have great compassion, yet why is it that she stays in this marriage that keeps her constantly working so hard to keep him from getting upset or on overload? How could she stay after, "The Girlfriend"? She doesn't touch on a subject that is an issue in many Aspie/NT marriages and that is lying by the Asperger's partner, specifically in relation to infidelity. She begins to touch upon this in "The Girlfriend" chapter, but seems satisfied that Gavin once and for all learned his lesson. I somehow doubt it. Fooling other women who don't know them as well as we do can be addictive to husband's with Asperger's. They don't have to get that disapproving, disappointed vibe that we wives naturally give off after being hurt, lied to, let down countless times.
I think this women has begun to love her prison; and has lost her sense of self.

This book is written in a very relaxing and easy to read style, I do not think this is only for Asperger diagnosed people, but for everyone, since all of us show aspergians characteristics once in a while, specially when we are under a lot of stress, so the key is having open communication so we can understand why the other person did what he or she did, rather than walking away without having all the information. One of the key characteristics that I have taken away from this book is that Aspergian behavior seems to be triggered when we act out on our feelings without putting any bounderies or controls over them, then a balance is broken and people get hurt, however, understanding that some people do not know how to build those boundaries or limits can be the key to re-establishing an old relationship in new and fresh ways through teaching, practicing and lots of patience, lots of it, but the end result is all worth it, since we are all human beeings and we like each other's company although we may not know how to express it. Great book.

I read this book cover to cover in 3 nights before going to sleep. I plan to read it through again, and try to use the suggestions that are given. It's not the most brilliantly written self-help book I've ever read, but she does impart a sense of being there for you and genuinely wanting to help. Some of the suggestions are very original, others, I wonder how she thinks one could ever follow through with these and not get into some major conflict with your spouse.
Ms. (Dr.?) Weiner-Davis presents herself as someone I would love to have for my own family therapist- she's very personable and funny. The book may not save my marriage, but I have learned some valuable actions that can be taken to change the unhealthy patterns a relationship can fall into.

Are you bitter because everything you try to discuss with your man never seems to be heard, let alone get through? Then this is he book for you! Michele Weiner-Davis is amazing! Its like she's been there. The ending is the best, though! If your marriage is in trouble because of communication problems, this is a must have! It sure helped me! And I didn't think ANYTHING could save us!

Let me just say - I loved this book, and have loaned it to some friend who've been very impessed as well. I'm shocked it only has one review so far, and so was inspired to write another.

It's very pragmatic, action-oriented, and goal oriented. I actually took notes on it. Here's a summary of my notes(although you'll definately want the get the book, if just for the examples and short stories alone):

Instead of thinking of things he shouldn't do, think of what he should do.

Your goals should be specific and action oriented, like "hold hands in movies".

Break your goals into mini-goals

If a particular stragety doesn't work, don't do it! Keep your eyes on the cheese.

Do something different strategies:
- do something unexpected
- do a 180
- act as if...
- "easier done than said", i.e. take action

I am only one of a lot of women out there but wanted to personally say I love this book.

I call it my "man bible". I literally carry it with me all the time. I don't keep it at home because heaven forbid he would find it. I have now read the book twice and am now going through it again a third time underlining everything that I want to emphasize in my head. That way I figured I could look at these lined phrases in those emergency circumstances.

This wonderful book has really given me new eyes to look through. I will probably memorize it from cover to cover and then read some more. I have already seen some changes! This book is the best thing I have found in a long time.

The author is right and her book is a refreshing read. This is an action book and you can easily use her advice to change some of the things that need changing in your relationships. Interestingly enough, this book is on my shelf right next to Karen Pryor's Don't Shoot the Dog - both are great books on how to shape and change behavior... and they're both well grounded.

The writing style turned me off immediately. I don't care if you like flirting with anything that moves. Just get to the body language.

Once I started reading the "meat" of the book (sandwiched between god-awful, cheesy, poorly shot pictures) I realized I had wasted my money. Really? People point at the things they want? Thanks so much for the insight.

If you're looking to actually learn something, avoid this book.

This book is fun to read and actually gives you a lot of good tips you might not of thought about. After reading it, it made me value body language and other signals we subconsciously send others. Might not be life altering of something but an entertaining and insightful book.

I have tried reading Ekman, who has spent years dissecting physical expressions and what they mean. Way too dense. Cox takes a friendlier approach wtih a good ratio between photos demonstrating her points and text. (Although the multiple colors and glossy pages are often a distraction.) She makes a lot of good points, a key one of which is about clusters: if someone is really attracted to you they will give you a cluster of four vibes---arched eyebrow, dilated pupil etc. all at the same time. Too often we misread because we see one physical indication of interest and off to the races we go. Her sage advice: don't. She also solves a couple of mysteries: women and high heels? So uncomfortable right? Well high heels makes a woman's glutes protude which makes her look more fertile and thus more desirable. Oh and eye that gleam? When we are emotional we cry. When we are emotional but not enough for tears, our eyes glisten. Pupils dilate. Desire around the corner. If you are at all interested in persuasion, and how you effect others(or to observe how others effect one another) take a read.

I'm interested in the Psychology between the sexes, and this book--even though it's basically a book about flirting--tells the reader how the sexes flirt and the recipient's interpretations of a flirting technique.
"SuperFlirt" talks about nonverbal communication as well as verbal communication when interacting with a potential mate. It helps the reader identify situations in which a silent conversation may be taking place--such as arm placements, eye movements, and what someone does with his/her hands when interested in a potential partner.
This book is blunt and to-the-point without using much slang or beating around the bush. It's also quite humorous.

This book is funny, colorful, and warm, and will put a smile on your face. The flirting techniques are basic, but for those who are just starting out, it does cover the fundamentals.

I do want to point out, though, that it's what I would call Anglo-centric. It covers the courtship style expected in the white Anglo-Saxon culture; other cultures are quite different, so this is something to keep in mind.

Just finished the book today. It's a great story of Pepper's growth but more than that, I think it is a help for those women over 50 that may need permission to let go and enjoy life. It lets women know that sex and love does not HAVE to end at a certain age. I turned 60 in May, am sexually active, going to the gym (for myself, not for him), eating healthier, planning to do some traveling (may include Bali one day) and enjoying my life to the fullest. I am having a ball and this book proves that it can be done. I recommend it to women over 50 but I think all women should read it no matter what their situation: married, single, divorced, or widowed. This is a great read.

Dr. Pepper's book candidly looks at dating at mid-life. Her anecdotes provide personal insight, and allow us to live, experience and learn through her. It's going to take several meetings and relationships before finding "the one," if at all....and Pepper reminds the reader that maybe finding "the one" isn't what we should be after - that it's more of the journey, and loving the journey instead. As I go through this process, it makes it a heck of a lot easier to keep Pepper's experiences in mind - I know I'm not the only one going through this....I'm not the only one who will experience losses. Great book! I'd even tell men to read it - I think they'd learn a lot as well!

I was disappointed because more than an empowering book for women in their prime, it was a little black book of her conquests. I couldn't even finish it. At first, I was intrigued, but then it became like a revolving door (sorry Pepper!). Plus, she has a condescending attitude towards people like me who prefer a more long-term serious relationship. Living in the era of AIDS, HPV, and herpes outbreaks does not engender me to leap into casual flings just because I can. I mean, I'm shocked she never even tested these people before bed-hopping. And the indifferent way she brushes off amours that want something more but that stifle her "growth" is positively aggravating. I had to put it down (and thankfully, return it to the library).

Okay, it was a wonderful book. Interesting and absorbing, but because the author is a "Sex Researcher" the book a tad creepy. It's like if Jeffery Dahmer wrote a cookbook. While your reading this you can't help wondering about whether this lifestyle influences her academic persona. I'd have much preferred if this had been published as "By Anonymous".

This is a great read,not just for single women in their "prime," but for men and women of any age. Other amazing book about this topic is:I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't

Simply put the book was geared towards women so I had little use for it. And gave it away to a friend.

We purchased this book not knowing for sure what to expect. This book really helps bring out the erotic talking in a relationship.

I'm 20 and was looking for a book to teach me to talk sexy, maybe more seductively. Like all self-help books, this one is all about boosting your confidence. This book suggests you write in a notebook/journal as you read it. Maybe it would help. This book is designed for 35+ year old woman who have never used a sexually explicit word in her entire life. Not the book for me, but maybe for you.

This book takes you through a detailed step-by-step process to learn how to talk sexy. After reading this anyone can do it no matter how much they may feel uncomfortable or think they can't.

My wife and I have been reading this book together, and it is a real "ear-opener." It is remarkable how uncomfortable most men and women are with truly sensuous talk in today's world where sex seems to be ubiquitous. However, just as there is a difference between f***ing and making love, there is a difference between the raunchy, cheap smut talk and truly erotic, intimate talk between lovers. If you are looking for smack, don't buy this book. If you are looking to express yourself in words that will truly animate and stimulate your sex life, this is a terrific book. One word of warning: There are 51 exercises in the book, and doing them will take some time. This is not a book to blaze through, check the box, and say, "OK, now I've read that book and I know how to talk sensually with my lover." Good sex is not automatic, and neither is good erotic dialogue. Practice makes perfect.

I must say. At first I thought there could be no better work on the subject than The Sex-Starved Wife: What to Do When He's Lost Desire. This book is much more comprehensive, thorough and gender balanced in examining the reasons why male partners either decrease or cease their sexual activity with their significant others. Perhaps this is so because the book is written by a married couple who wanted to be fair to both genders involved. Like THE SEX STARVED WIFE the book wrote that HSDD (hypoactive sexual desire disorder)can be used as a catchall term for little or no sex as a result of many factors both psychological and physiological in origin. So often the medical community has a tendency to assume that the sole reason for this has to do with low testosterone count. In Chapter Eleven "Maybe He's Gay? Asexual?" Berkowitz and Yager-Berkowitz clearly state "if a man's sex drive is low, it may not be due to low testosterone...there are multiple physiological and psychological reasons for a man not wanting to have partnered sex." Significantly, one reason may be "simply the way an individual functions, just as one man may have an unusually high sex drive, another may have one unusually low. And sometimes a man with a weak level of desire marries a female with a libido that falls into a range that is average or above, a situation perhaps masked in the early days of courtship when his passion was able to soar to a temporary high before it peaked and declined back to what was 'normal' for him". This is something THE SEX STARVED WIFE neglected to mention. I have read some reviewers that sounded furious that the author of THE SEX STARVED WIFE seemed to blame the woman exclusively for the problem.In their concluding chapter Berkowitz and Yager-Berkowitz DO admit that "sexless marriage is rarely the result of only one partner's behavior, even it if looks that way on the surface." I DO agree with that statement but I DON'T agree with what they allege in Chapter One "Why Men Stop Having Sex." I do not agree that WOMEN shift responsibility for the lack of sex away from themselves. On the contrary, I think women have a tendency to BLAME THEMSELVES for their husband's lack of desire and oftentimes excessively and unjustly so. Both partners in the relationship have to take responsibility for their actions. Far too often there is a hidden power struggle existing in the relationship. It IS pointed out that "the absence of sexual desire is most often related to expressed or unexpressed anger...living with critical and controlling women who were ready to fly off the handle..." but also that "We don't believe anger is one-sided...They are taking no responsibility for, or are oblvious to, their own part in the story." The authors rightfully state "A conflict-free relationship is impossible. However, when conflict becomes either a cause or an excuse for witholding sex, it is not handled properly." Additionally "Not getting or sustaining an erection can also be a way of passively showing contempt. Withholding sex becomes a punishment; he is refusing to give her something she wants, perhaps one of the few things he perceives as still being within his control." This creates a vicious circle when "The 'noncritical' or 'nonangry' partner responds by witholding touch, warmth and sex, which gives the 'angry' spose more reason to stay that way." At any rate I would strongly recommend this book especially for any woman struggling in a relationship where sexual intimacy has been rendered extinct.

I'm flabberghasted reading the other reviews of this book, so confused that I just retrieved it, to peruse it again before writing this review. I sense that other reviewers are processing the facts of the book through the lens of their own personal lives.

I read this superb book on men losing interest in sex with their wives as a professional consultant, with a keen interest in sex in America. The book is well balanced and not all focused on placing blame on EITHER party, inspite of two totally contradictory reviews of the same book.

The authors do make the accurate point that the lower-libido partner ALWAYS controls sexual frequency in any relationship. In no way does this book exempt wives from contributing to loss of their husband's libido.

First and foremost, the chapters of the book are organized around the results of a 4000 person, gender-balanced survey of men who have withdrawn from sex with their wives, and wives whose husbands don't want sex with them. These respondents are not married to each other.

We first read the reasons why men said they stopped having sex with their wives. The top three reasons listed were:

1. She isn't sexually adventurous enough for me -- 68%
2. She doesn't seem to enjoy sex -- 61%
3. I am interested is sex with others, but not with my wife -- 48%

Next, we read the women's responses -- why they think their husbands stopped having sex with them. The top three reasons lsited were:

1. He lost interest and I don't know why -- 66%
2. He is depressed -- 57%
3. He is angry at me -- 45%

In fact, this #3 answer among women is about the only thing that men and women agree on in this classic Venus and Mars discussion around marital sexuality.

44% of men surveyed agree that they are mad at their wives, and this fact contributes to loss of libido.

What I like about the book is that it tackles big topics in this gender-based, bedroom divide. As a professional I am interested in the big picture, not one person's personal love life.

The authors write: "One of the biggest predictors of male sexual satisfaction is receiving oral sex. Moving beyond their own 4000 person survey, they cite the well-respected Elle/MSNBC poll of approximately 39,000 men, in which one of the biggest predictors of male sexual satisfaction is receiving oral sex."

That's the Mars position.

Venus, according to the same poll isn't so thrilled with Mars, when it comes to performing fellatio. 45 percent or the women surveyed say that they don't like performing fellatio.

Whether women like going down on a guy or not, men view fellatio as an ultimate expression of love, commitment, adoration, tenderness, and temporary surrender. To have 1 of every 2 marital bedrooms in deadlock on this topic could be considered a national problem, in my opinion.

The value of this book lies in its objective reporting on real answers to real questions in a large national survey. The anecdotal reporting comes from the followup interviews. I prefer this approach to books that focus on the problems of a few sexual or marital-therapy clients, and then offer big-picture analysis.

This book illuminates the chasm between 4000 men and women, who suffer marital distress with a low-libido husband. Period.

At the end of the book, neither sex is responsible. As is the case with most of life, the answers are in the joint-responsibility grey matter. The answers are physical, psychological, and cultural.

The only question that these parties do agree on, is that they are bloody angry with each other. I would begin the marital dig here.

I just finished reading both this book and The Sex-Starved Wife. I really liked this book because it placed the reality of the non-responsive spouse on the man where it belongs. I found the message of the wife being at fault in the Sex Starved Wife to be demeaning, sexist, and very unsupportive to women.

My personal experience with a non-responsive husband is that no matter what you do, there is no response. The non-responsive spouse is in control of the sex. In the last 25 years, my husband and I have had sex no more than 10 times. I am not a nag. I am imaginative. I do discuss. I give him lots of space. There doesn't appear to be any joint solution to this problem - because it isn't a joint problem --- it is MY problem. He is perfectly happy the way things are. I am the one who is unhappy. Viagra does nothing just sitting on the nightstand!

So, this book really gives definitive information on how the wife feels about being deprived of sex and having to beg for it, or suffer for it, or take it whenever the man wants to give it whether she is in the mood or not. I think this male behavior should actually be called marital rape! Men need to know how they are treating women. The MYTH of women nagging and withholding sex is a LIE - It is the MEN who are doing it!

This is a huge problem for women in this country. Another cultural myth is that men are always and forever ready for sex at the drop of a hat - and women and men believe it. There isn't a simple solution to a man who refuses to have sex - dressing up in saran wrap is not going to fix this problem. My life is in tatters. I have given the book to my husband and now I guess I just wait some more! -- Great life....

I highly recommend this book and I am actively looking for others - suggestions are welcome

I gave this book two stars because I believe improving marriages and the sex lives within them are very important, however it should really be one or one and a half stars because this book paints the picture in a very skewed fashion. It takes the position that the reason that couples are having less sex is the Man's fault, and any explanation given to the contrary from a man or a woman is retranslated to show that either the man is trying to deflect responsibility or the wife is "irrationally" feeling a sense of responsibility for an aspect of the sex life. It takes the viewpoint that all guy's are pretty much the same, or should be whatever women demand them to be, and anything less than compliance is his problem that he has to come to terms with. I believe that this kind of biased, accusatory, blaming advice is in no way going to help people at a deep level. I believe in deflecting responsibility from both partners and looking at the relationship which neither one can be separate or exonerated from responsibility from is the best solution. Both partners created the relationship, so both partners are responsible for what occurs in a relationship, like it or not, avoiding that fact, and using the resentful weapon of blame is going to cause more division and short circuit intimacy. If the man doesn't want to have sex, there may be a reason, but it may not be the reason you want to hear. And this whole business of using Erectile Dysfunction to marginalize a man and say that any action he takes or anything he feels sexually or relationally is because of Erectile Dysfunction is so shoddy and disrespectful that it totally misses the point and provides a disservice. What the author(s) don't understand and miss is that a flaccid penis is often the solution to a different problem and is a message from deep inside a man, unless he has a physical problem which can easily be assessed and corrected with better health habits and if absolutely necessary a medication, withthe hope that he will improve and restore his sexual health and if possible wead himself off of it. In the instance of a nonphysical problem the issue must be looked at as an unconscious outgrow of the true feelings and true status of the relationship, that is the most authentic message a man can give, because he can lie with many things, words, some actions, and such, but if he ever gets an erection, even in his sleep or in the mornings or with masturbation, his penis is telling you the truth about how he "really really" feels. Even though the massage may be difficult and not what you want to hear, you would be wise to listen and heed the message. But even in the instance of a "physical problem" his feelings are still valid, and to blame him for his feelings and try to pressure or guilt or blame a man into being sexual with you won't work, and even if it seems to, it will be a factory for resentment. I am not exonerating guy's from responsibility either because guy's and girl's both need to communicate, but misunderstandings like the one's expressed and articulated by the author's are very problematic, and even though they may sort of comfort those who want to blame and not take a real look at their lives and get some responsibility and a sense of control and intimacy in their lives, it could be quite hazardous. For some other options in looking at some of these issues consult books by Bernie Zilbergeld, Barry McCarthy, Jack Morin, Michael Castleman, and especially Marty Klein.

I FOUND THIS BOOK INFORMATIVE, I LEARNED A LOT ABOUT BOTH MYSELF AND MY HUSBAND AND OUR RELATIONSHIP, MOST OF ALL, I HAVE COME AWAY WITH SOME AVENUES TO EXPLORE IN DEALING WITH THE SITUATION.