Sex Relationships Books

I THOUGHT THE VISUALIZATION EXERCISE WAS ' A BREATH OF FRESH AIR'. If you are love addicted and need help besides counseling and a support group this book may be helpful to you as well as other books on ending codependency.

I think the book gives good practical tips on how to get someone off your mind and heart.

This is a good book for getting an unproductive or destructive relationship out of your head much more quickly and permanently than time alone will. Be sure you want to before you start. There's even the possibility you could become "just friends" without wanting to repeat past mistakes.

The authors warn you up front, there are some raw psychological approaches used here, where you deliberately change your view of a person. Moving from adoration, to silliness, to outright ugliness if need be, you reverse the "attractive" thought processes that get us so caught up in the first place. If you keep an open mind and just do it you may be surprised at the results. Mr./Ms. unshakeable weren't always up on a golden pedestal and if you know they shouldn't be, this is your chance to quit reinforcing it, break it down, and move on to better things.

This book helped me a great deal with my own relationship problems. I also reccomend Confusing Love with Obsession by John D. Moore

Face it ... when you buy this book on how to fall out of love, chances are you are hurting. This book takes a behaviorist approach to breaking an obsessive connection to a person who you still love but who, for whatever reason, is no longer available to you.

There's an old joke that says that every time a dog salivates, a behaviorist psychologist somewhere has to quick run and ring a bell. But there is this ... the behaviorist approach can have quick positive results in certain situations, and rescuing people from helpless love is one of those situation. Other books on this topic seem to spend all their time endlessly describing the behaviors of people who are compulsive-obsessive about someone. This little book gets right down to cases, giving guidelines for a step by step practical program to help get your mind off that "special person" who occupied it hundreds of times a day.

Beginning with this technique of "thought stopping", the authors continue with a series of steps to take the reader through the process of breaking the old connection and forming a connection with a new partner successfully. Those who love obsessively have experienced the terrible situation where the former lover that you can't forget becomes a "third wheel" on a new romance. This book shows, step by step, how that can be prevented as well.

All in all, a very good practical approach to a vexing problem that many people who love deeply will face at some time in their lives.

It is very disappointing that there appears to no reference made to homosexuality in this book. A major flaw.

I have purchased a good many of sex ed. books for my young teen daughters and this is by far one of the best. Recommend.

I never thought someone would understand completely how I feel about realtionships! This book helped me so much, I know so much more about myself now and my boyfriend has started reading it now too.

I'm a mom writing this; not a teen. This is great book and it covers a lot of good topics. Be forewarned, it tells your teen exactly how to use condoms, exactly how to do everything the best way. It covers a lot of STD transmission which is outstanding but then it tells teens how much ___play to do be4 having sex. I think the book goes too far thus discounting its other highly good advice. I don't feel comfortable giving this entire book to my 15 year old. I'm not ready for my teen to have a through explaination of orgasms. So read it before you hand it over!

Both of my teenagers got a lot from this book. While it was a bit heavy on the relationship therapy and light on the nuts and bolts of safe sex, it did bring up discussion topics that we'd missed in earlier conversations. Particularly for my son, who is not as comfortable as his sister in talking about this "stuff" with his parent, it was a way to at least introduce some of these ideas and make him look beyond the status of being seen with the gal in the shortest skirt to try to see how his actions would affect the person wearing it. Definitely worthwhile.

My wife's background is in clinical psychology/marriage counseling. She has read many books on marriage and this is her favorite. I have been counseling couples and young singles concerning relationships for about 10 years -- it is my favorite as well. I've never read anything quite like it. It's a true synthesis of practical how-to and biblical Christian spirituality. This book is a REAL Christian book (as opposed to much of the seeker-sensitive pseudo-Christian stuff out there) and will not appeal to non-Christians (or to luke-warm "Christians") because at the center of this work, page after page, you will find Jesus. If you are not devoted to Jesus, then what Mike Mason says will not work for you.

THE MYSTERY OF MARRIAGE is a radical call to every Christian to give themselves completely to the call of Love, and is communicated in a poetic, powerful and unique way that will resonate in the lives of Christian couples for the rest of their lives.

This book is a beautiful look at what marriage is and how God created it. It is refreshing to read and stays away from the how to and just focuses on the glorious yet mysterious miracle of marriage. Loved it and give it away to all new brides and grooms I know.

Although this book is not a quick read, if you are willing to take the time to sit down with it, it will open your eyes and knock your socks off! To truly understand the reason and meaning of marriage in God's eyes has been a tremendous blessing to my marriage. Highly recommend this book!

this book was recommended by a friend since then, i've recommended this book and given this book away as gifts to my friends getting married, thinking about marriage, or already married. it's not just about marriage, but the way a man and woman should live and can live happily in Christ

"The Mystery of Marriage" is an introspective look at the wonder, joy, sorrow and pain of marriage. It is refreshing, encouraging, and deep. I find myself wanting to strive for more, closer, stronger in my own marriage as I read.
This makes a perfect wedding gift - especially for those "soulmate" couples...

Last week I read The Score: How the Quest for Sex Has Shaped the Modern Man and gave my copy of the book to one of my daughters.
This week I ordered a second copy so each of my daughters could have one. They are 17 and 19 one in college and one on the way. They each have boyfriends who are good guys--I have met them and liked them. But I am going to be gone next year (I am getting deployed to Iraq) and this book is an entertaining look at the biology that led to males and females from dividing amoebas and how that biology helped to make guys what they are today--for better and for worse. The recurring theme in the book is Flam talking about a seminar she attended in New York where men pay $2150 for a 9-step program on how to pick up women. From flatworms to giant squids to gorillas, we see males fighting to mate with females, but not staying around to set up household. The book alternates between science and mating rituals among modern humans. The book is definitely for readers as interested in learning about science as about sex, but for that kind of reader the book is a lot of fun.
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This book is amusing to read, although it is a mixture of exact and inexact science and also includes a flair of soap: The author did a tremendous job reviewing the varieties of sexual reproduction in all kind of different species, but then sometimes confounds these reports with personal opinions, allusions to mythology, or simplistic explanations that refers to "gentics" or "evolution". The reader is taken more to a boat and fishing expedition tour rather than to get scientific based facts or hypotheses. Moreover, some core aspects in sexuality are almost totally neglected (ie womens "slower" but nontheless powerful sex drive or cultural aspects among times and ethnicities, the power and prestige and so on) as well as aspects about sexuality going wrong (eg traumatization and violence). It finally remains unclear how the sexual behviour in fishes, worms or apes (who, according to the author, 'thinks' of nothing else than to pass their genes to the next generation) relates to the modern men in the 21th century (who is seldomly driven by that same thought, when it comes to sex). Where is the link, where is the relation? Is it genetics, evolution, power - or all of them? No clear answer. In summary, at the end of the book, one does not feels to get a good answer to the initial question why the modern man has been shaped by sex, but comes up with some confusion a not so ground breaking conclusion: Most males like having sex with females and are willing to put efforts into it. Females on the other hand, like to have healthy offspring/caregiver and are willing to put some efforts into the seletcion for a good partner. This would have shaped todays's males and females behaviour in everyday's situation. But how far that behaviour goes in daily life, has not been discussed in that book at all. For example, would that behaviour persist after founding a family and could that somehow be repsonsible for all the many divorces in western societies? Has the beauty of arts, culture or science etc. not at least sometimes more incentive than to impress females? And would that be sufficient to explain, for example, why most musicians, artists, noble price winners etc. have been males? Thinks are more complex, obvioulsy, and the burden of going through life threatening pregnancies/deliveries and exhausting baby times could also be a good reason, but coming to this was perhaps not the scope of tis book? Finally, the cover of the book is also not a good reflection for the typical "male/female" behaviour most often depicted in the book: The male is not about to spend most energies by simply following a female (or to chase her on a ladder) but, according to the author, gives it best to conquer females by impressing them and beating male rivals. This is a different scenario, but perhaps the choice of the cover has been driven by another force: to offer a picture (with sexy female legs and shoes) following a very simple rule... sex sells - the pickup artist, called Mr. Future in the book, would surely agree on that!

Faye Flam has that rare talent to take something as convoluted as genetic science and make it readable. Perhaps some of the nation's textbook publishers should take note of the way she handles the topic.
Her book is proof that Flam is more than scientist, more than writer: In "The Score," she links us to other creatures, and the one drive we all share -- to procreate. Who can read her account about the sex life of the giant squid and not wonder about the power of that instinct?
Flam has a fine wit, and is not afraid to inject a bit of her own life into the book's pages. Sure, she lampoons men, but she gets a few good jabs in at her own gender, too. And what's wrong with extolling the fact that she has a mate of her own? That's as it should be. She also manages to wrap up the book the way she began it, with her visit to the seduction workshop. Facile? No. Fascinating? Yes.

In one of the episodes of the TV show "Frasier", the lead character, radio psychiatrist Frasier Crane, is having a dispute with his station manager, an attractive female. As he's describing the situation to his housekeeper, Daphne, he remarks that he thinks the manager is using her charms to get what she wants. Daphne says, "Oh, come on now, Dr Crane. It's not like men have never used sex to get what they want," - to which Frasier replies, "How can we possibly USE sex to get what we want? Sex IS what we want."

That certainly rings true, but the interesting question is: why is it true? This book provides an entertaining, extremely readable, and scientifically sound look at the reasons men behave the way they do when it comes to sex. It made me smile, laugh out loud sometimes, nod in agreement often, and shake my head in wonder other times. Faye Flam, science reporter for the Philadelphia Inquirer and one of the best and most versatile science writers around, wrote a delightful weekly column for that paper, called "Carnal Knowledge", about the science behind sex. Here she expands on that to focus on how the quest for sex has shaped the male of the species, and when I say "shaped", I mean everything from his behavior to his physical characteristics (check her discussion of "fibroelastic" vs "vascular" male equipment for one example).

Flam, who majored in physics at Cal Tech, has written on subjects ranging from genomics to astronomy, so you'd expect her to get the science right, and she does. Based on her previous journalism, you'd also expect her to make that science understandable and fun to read, and that she does as well. The book is written in a clear, enjoyable style that brings the evolutionary biology, human physiology and psychology to life. Chapter topics range from a boot camp for would-be pickup artists to how testosterone determines the male brain and body to why men seem to be attracted to pornography. I learned about alpha males and why they don't always win the competition for sex. I learned about gay sheep. There's a great chapter about the secret life of the sperm. If you're a man you'll understand better why we are the way we are, and if you're a woman, you may realize how difficult it is to change us! Regardless, it's a great read, for the summer or any time.

"The Score" is a science-based book that takes its topic seriously, but avoids falling into twelve-syllable jargon and "geek speak." Instead, its conversational tone feels more like an interesting chat than a pedantic lecture. A science-based book that makes you laugh while you learn can be a rare thing, but this accomplishes that -- and more.

Her descriptions of the "pickup artists' training," the explanations of "peacocking" behavior, the quirkiness of species that can change genders on a whim ... It's fascinating stuff, and presented with the authority of an expert in the enjoyable voice of an everyman (or everywoman, as the case may be).

Going Gray (What I learned about beauty, sex, work, motherhood, authenticity and everything else that really matters), by Anne Kreamer, Little Brown, New York, is the sort of book title that the average man would pass on as probably girlish fluff. If a bald man is seen perusing this volume in a bookstore, chances are he's read Nora Ephron and has recently had a pedicure.

And yet, stereotyping aside, Anne Kreamer has, almost inadvertently, written a book that, through the lens of its thesis, offers social and psychological insights into aging Americans of the demographic widely known as Baby Boomers. Today's fifty-somethings grew up in a culture that celebrated youth. With prescription medications now available to restore rosy optimism and sexual potency, what magic elixir might restore the appearance of youth? The elixir is hair color. The question Ms. Kreamer asks is existential: how does the magic in it work? And if there is no magic, what does that mean?

The answer is not immediately apparent; we take our belief systems for granted as valid, and hair color has evolved as a mainstay of middle age. It was not until the author saw a photograph of her dark-haired self next to her teenage daughter that the white lie of hair color began to resound larger implications for her. What is truth and what is illusion, and does one wear the other as a mask in this case? If truth is beauty, then untruth moves us closer on the reality grid to the locus of ugliness, but what person, especially in their fifties, wants to go there? Anne Kreamer pushes that query, hoping to discover new legitimacy for "nature's changing course untrimmed." What does she learn?

Many things: "How we choose to grow old is deeply idiosyncratic, a matter of individual taste and circumstance." Fair enough. But what about other people? How do they see us, how much should it matter, and is it ever valid to make assumptions about what is attractive? To finds answers, this (happily married) author makes excursions through the wilderness of dating web sites, meeting with single men, even contacting contemporary "image consultants," the first of whom was "Ginger, who wore a leopard-print cashmere sweater with caribou feathers trimming the deep V-neck and cuffs, slim black wool pants, and black suede Manolo Blahnik boots--an outfit that would have been less surprising to me if I'd made an appointment with a dominatrix."
Going Gray is an antic but thoughtful account of her adventures, a report to the rest of us that beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder and, past a certain age, it's probably better to look to what wisdom we've earned than in the mirror. Finally, Anne Kreamer's book is about telling "more of the plain truth in small ways, then maybe we as a society and a culture will find it easier to recognize and reward the truth in bigger ways."

I read Kreamer's article about going gray in More magazine, and I have to say, it was one of the silliest things I've ever read. This whole thing with gray hair, and trying to make it something philosophic, is just plain ridiculous. The bottom line is that people dye their hair, and have been doing so for centuries, because gray hair makes you look old. Sorry, but that about sums it up. It is an unbecoming color on virtually everyone, and drains the color right out of your face. I can't think of anyone on this planet who looks better with their hair gray--it makes you look old and tired. In fact, gray hair will age you faster than anything else. Not only that, but hair that is graying looks dull and drab.

I've seen Kreamer's before and after pictures, and she looks at least 10 years older with her gray hair. And matronly to boot. In addition to letting the gray come in, she also decided to cut her hair into one of those dowdy "age appropriate" hairdos, so it's a double whammy.

If you want to let your hair go gray, fine. But please don't act like it's some sort of heroic act. If you want to dye your hair, that's fine too, although I've noticed that some women are even getting apologetic about it. Please, gray hair is not the new black, as one reviewer wrote. Most women (and a growing number of men) can't stand the way gray hair looks and will continue to color it.

I find it a little odd that Kreamer thought she looked "older" with her dyed hair. I think she looked a lot younger and fresher, plus her haircut was more youthful. Now she looks like a dowdy old woman. Sorry I can't join the pep talk about what a great act this was on her part. It's simply convinced me more than ever that a lot of us have too much time on our hands.

I really enjoyed this book. I found it quite helpful and insightful for a situation that I too, am contemplating doing. The author wrote with humor and honesty which I could relate too. I'm glad I read the book, as it was a spontaneous purchase that happened to coincide with my own personal thoughts about going to my natural gray hair color, which is a BIG deal for me.

I read this for my book club. This book was so relevant to all of us forty-something women that we actually stayed on the topic of the book for hours (instead of our usual tangents)! The topic was also very interesting for my daughter who is in her twenties.

Four months in to my own graying experience I found this book delightful, humorous, and inspirational. I recommend it even for those who aren't gray (yet) or (there) but conflicted about embracing it. Gives interesting insight on the embracing your wonderfulness at midlife.

I suppose I can't blame the book because it is geared toward straight women and I identify as bi but the book just didn't solve the problem I was having with women. It's a problem that many men and women experience and should have been better addressed: talking to women I am attracted to. It did not cover this at all and that's what I was looking for. The section on flirting was the shortest and most vague of this normally medically precise book. All it really said was, "Now go flirt with her like you normally do!" Not helpful...

Other than that, this is a great and educational read.

Women can learn about their own pleasure with this sex manual. The tone of this book is all about having fun and forgetting conventionality.

Ok lets get down to why you should save your money and NOT get this book. First of all the author dedicates two or three chapters on WHY chicks should sleep with chicks. Well if your buying this book then I would think that your already curious or interested, correct? Then the author shares some really great "secrets" on the where and how to pick up other chicks, let me take the time to write some of them down here for you, first this no brainer, "Get them intoxicated, and my all time favorite,"take them behind a dumpster and get them to smoke weed". The author then fills the book up with helpfull hints like, "go put an ad on the internet" Dang, I would have never thought of that!! In summary, you can buy this book if you want, but don't expect anything other than common sense stuff, and I use the term VERY lightly!! Thank you for your time.

One could wonder if there is a need for this book? The author makes no attempt to supply any data concerning how widespread the desire or practice is for straight girls wanting to engage with other females. Her data collection seems to be rather limited - hardly scientific. In any event, the book is interesting and informative.

The book is mostly a sex manual. It covers positions, techniques, enhancing apparati, protective measures, etc - and quite well. Some of the protection techniques seem obnoxious. Maybe better screening of possible partners is a better alternative. There are some good basic points. Who can argue with the desirability of the female body. And then there is the almost infinite ability for female sustained lovemaking.

Beyond technique, it would seem that straight women would want much more commentary on even beginning such relationships without destroying current situations. Sorry, not much help there. The author's self-debate about whether such activity is indicative of bi-sexuality is pretty fuzzy, but in the end, as she says, is mostly irrelevant.

Perhaps the book can fill a void. It is informative and mildly encouraging for those with the desire but with cold feet.

This book is fun. It's all about not being hung up on convention, not getting bogged in old values, guilt or any of that. It's straight talking, like a night out with the girls and Ms Sincero has no hesitation in being very frank and explicit to describe and detail what she is saying.

For we blokes it helps us understand what might be a fantasy or need in our partners and get a feel for that from a woman's perspective, addressing threesomes, anal, toys and pretty much everything, often made properly relevant by Ms Sincero relaying some of her own personal experiences. Happily Ms Sincero also addresses the emotional issues with care and the respect they deserve. Someone exploring somewhere they don't want to go is equally as damaging and tragic as someone not exploring where they do want to go.

It may not be for everyone but Ms Sincero happily lets the reader feel entitled to know what they do or don't want without guilt or pressure and shares her pleasures and celebrates some of her adventures with her readers. Ms Sincero makes me wish I was a woman, she makes `picking up chicks' sound like for a woman it's even more fun than for a man.

So girls, read, laugh, maybe learn a little about your own pleasure, enjoy and, who knows? You may even decide you'd like to share what you enjoy with another woman. Happily Ms Sincero also addresses the fact that such things aren't for everyone, allowing for the fact that, no matter how much denial many of us may live in, the most ideal situation for true Loving Caring relationship beauty can be found in the security of exclusivity and a history of trust and track record. However, for those of us who don't have that in our lives and can use our sexuality as a veritable playground if we want, Ms Sincero provides a manual for some good clean guilt free fun. Cheers-Lloyd

This is not the book I ordered--If it was a book for personal reading I would have no problem, but it was ordered for academic purposes.
It did arrive in a timely manner though.

The whole Cambridge series is very valuable. It offers helpful footnotes without cluttering the page, and actually indicates within the text when a footnote will appear. Text appears on right-hand side, and left-hand page offers thoughtful questions and activities to spur engagement, including comprehension and analysis, get-out-of-your-seats and act, and staging/directorial decision-making, and thematic extensions.

"The Taming of the Shrew," by William Shakespeare, is, essentially, about the taming of a shrew. However, in this case, the shrew is in fact a woman, not an animal. The best translation of shrew into modern English is a stubborn, mean woman. About half of the book is about courting, marriage and domesticating Katherine, the shrew. The other half is about Bianca, Katherine's sister, and her dozen suitors.

Being written by Shakespeare, "The Taming of the Shrew" is well regarded in academic eyes. This fame is not entirely deserved. The play is blessedly short, but lacks a solid plot. What plot the story contains is throughly confused by how indistinguishable the characters are. Two thirds of the cast's names end in `io,' making it almost impossible to tell them apart. The theme of male domination is adequately achieved throughout the book. In the end, man triumphs over woman, but has not succeeded entirely in domesticating her. This play is far less amusing than the rest of Shakespeare's works, for they contain a mostly understandable plot.

OK, I know I'm going to get hammered for this; once again, there goes my reviewer rating. But I just HAVE to be honest: this is a terrible story. OK, being that it's Shakespeare, it's prettily told, but it's still a HORRIBLE story, and I can't imagine why otherwise sensible people like it. Perhaps they feel that Shakespeare is telling it tongue-in-cheek (it IS a comedy, after all) and poking fun at the system of fathers marrying off their daughters without any concern for whether they want it or not; that would almost make it tolerable, if I could believe it. But given that it IS a Shakespearean comedy, we must assume that the ending is supposed to be a "happy" one, and the situation at the end is far from pleasant. Or perhaps people believe (I've heard this claimed in all seriousness) that Kate has actually "triumphed" at the end, having figured out how to manipulate Petruchio so as to get her way subtly and underhandedly. Even if this were true, I'd hardly consider it a "happy" ending, and personally, I see little evidence of it.

No, what we actually have here is a story of a strong woman (some people seem to like it simply because there IS a strong woman to be found in it) being married against her will to a scheming golddigger who "Tames" her by blatent if indirect spousal abuse (he doesn't beat her, simply starves her and sleep-deprives her, as well as forcing her to wear muddy rags until she behaves exactly as he wants, up to and including winning him a bet by lecturing her contemporaries on their duties as obedient wives.) Her spirit may or may not be broken, depending on how the part is played, but the fact remains that she's forced to BEHAVE as if it is, and that's not a message that should be bruited about in a "comedy". This is absolutely the WORST of Shakespeare's plays.

Unlike any other Shakespeare's plays, THE TAMING OF THE SHREW has an induction, which lives up to its name in the sense that the prologue scene does indeed lead into the play that follows. It seems likely that Shakespeare had adopted the device from medieval narrative poetry, where it was extensively used to introduce a story in the form of a dream. In the induction, far more is involved than the mere setting of a scene and the informing to audience. In fact, Christopher Sly seems to have lapse into a dream as he is forced to adopt a new identity. The brief yet vigorous altercation between Sly and the hostess with which the induction begins is a curtain raiser for the dramatic struggle between Petruchio and Katherina that is to follow. Equally as significant is the Lord's instructions to his servant-boy as to the behavior he is to assume when he appears disguised as Sly's wife forebode the main theme of the play.

THE TAMING OF THE SHREW has a powerful appeal for the Elizabethan audience at the time it opened because the struggle for mastery in a marriage remained a fact of existence and hot topics for writers. A true-to-life domestic scene opens the play and instantly grasps attention: Signor Baptista forbids all suitors to court his younger daughter Bianca until he finds a husband for the ill-tempered, difficult, and waspish elder daughter Katherina. She is notorious for her hot temper, foul tongue, and caprice. Out of jealousy and the qualm not remaining single, she often vents out her anger on her sister. Suitors of the younger sister, who decide to put aside their rivalry, contrive to find a match for Katherina.

Gremio and Hortensio bear the cost of Petruchio's courting Katherina while Lucentio, who is madly in love with Bianca, and his crafty servant Tranio cunningly switch role to infiltrate the Baptista house. What inevitably follows is a facetious pursuit of love and a farcical melodrama that culminate in a riotously funny final scene in which Lucentio's real father, who has no clue of his son's betrothal, confronts the pedant-disguised impostor who reverse-accuses him of a charlatan. Equally as clueless of the entire crafty scheme is Baptista whom the suitors have tricked and outmaneuvered. He is consistently mistaken about everything and everybody, so that he does not even understand why Bianca later asks for his forgiveness. He and Vincentio are merely the butts for all the intrigues that go on throughout the play.

THE TAMING OF THE SHREW maintains an irresistible appeal among the comedies owing to the intriguing trickery with which characters rival for courtship. Just as suspenseful and entertaining is Petruchio's calculated, punctilious campaign to tame his wife. His line of attack is psychological, although persuasive words carefully planned for each step accompany his actions. He somehow outsmarts his wife and deliberately outdoes her in his perversity and bad temper. The quintessential spleen of tantrum flourishes in the scenes in which Petruchio abuses his servants and tailor. His being abusive, tyrannical, violent, and capricious functions more than a reflection - it is evident of a caricature of Katherina through an exaggerated parody of her wild behavior. His evaluation of her mind is confirmed by her softening and surrender for she welcomes the opportunity of meeting an antagonist who will put up a good fight.

THE TAMING OF THE SHREW is highly rhetorical (even more so than AS YOU LIKE IT). Whether it is Petruchio's aggressive, vituperative taming or the milder courting of Bianca, the play never lacks an elite style with which Shakespeare exploited language to a linguistic virtuosity. For example, Petruchio's taming distinguishes from the usual method that might involve violence. What differentiate his campaign are the subtlety, the sophistication, and the ingenuity of his conceiving of Katherina's mind. His perspicacious mind justifies the use of highly rhetorical, puny, and literary discourse that somehow alienates the ordinary speech in the play and paradoxically brings in a fuller, more intimate possession of his witty scheme.

His Brain, Her Brain: How Divinely Designed Differences Can Strengthen Your Marriage

This book has given me more insight into the mind of a male than 28 years of marriage has. It has shown me the answers to many questions that have puzzled me for years, such as why does my husband always try to solve my problems when all I want him to do is sympathize with me when I share?

Walt Larimore MD and his wife Barbara Larimore have written an entertaining book full of practical information and anecdotes, along with medical and pyschological research which is far from dry and boring. Dr. Larimore also reveals hormonal and physical differences between the brains of men and women.

Dr. Larimore says on page 50, "Researchers have found many, many differences between his brain and her brain---and we predict they'll eventually find thousands more. The reason? His brain and her brain are complexly designed to be delightfully different and to respond in nearly opposite ways."

As the French say, "Viva la difference!"

Married couple Walt and Barb Larimore tackle the newest trend in marriage communication skills by delving into the brain differences between males and females. Calling upon the studies of other experts in this field, the Larimores offer Christian believers even more rounded explanations of this intriguing study as they bring in the divinely designed brain physiology within the minds of women and men. With much tongue-in-cheek humorous asides, the text is written in a lively, engaging format while simultaneously providing both technical and philosophical insights on the nature of each sex's brain and its development.

Opening with the actual scientific discoveries of the brain, the Larimores share that there is a veritable mountain of brain research from the last two decades that explains how dramatic the differences between male and female brains are in anatomical, chemical, hormonal and physiological ways. These differences likewise affect the emotions, thinking and behavior of children as well as adults. As Christians, the Larimores are convinced that every one of these brain differences is "divinely designed" by our Creator and not simply a result of nature or nurture, or inborn or infused, as some secular experts believe. With this divinely designed confidence, as cited in the Psalm 139, the Larimores offer both sexes the positive and uplifting confidence that although men and women are very different, God created them to complement one another.

Readers will learn about the ins and outs of brain anatomy (offered in simple layperson's language) and how brain chemistry affects the way men and women react to and respond to their created world via their natural senses of sight, smell, hearing, touch and taste. These explained differences in systemizing and empathizing, differences in spatial skills, different responses to stress, different emotional responses, differences in multitasking, and differences in intuition all serve to better educate one sex with the other, thus providing increased opportunity for deeper understanding and mutual respect.

The Larimores delve into communication sore spots with their usual aplomb and provide comical narratives to which all readers (male or female) will readily relate. Men, say the authors, speak their care for their wives and loved ones by a "vocabulary of action" that works out in real life as doing things, sharing activities, expressing feelings through inarticulate gifts, favors and physical courtesies. Women express their feelings of love best through the language of relationship with others and often speak via indirect talk that confuses and frustrates men, but by which their female counterpart friends intuitively understand. One helpful tip, the authors' offer is for women to give their men a time, a place and a plan when requesting time to talk...as this appeals to the man's systematic mind which compartmentalizes and deals with one item at a time.

In the remaining text, readers will appreciate the Larimores' generous study of the sexual differences and needs between men and women in relation to their brain uniqueness and how respect (for men) and love (for women) play a major role in their sexual fulfillment. From the outset, readers will find great value and encouragement in this helpful text. The Larimore's offer their fresh take on this current hot topic of brain differences by comprehensively including God and His divine design into their work.

--- Reviewed by Michele Howe

His Brain, Her Brain: How Divinely Designed Differences Can Strengthen Your Marriage
I heard with great interest about this book and decided I had to read it. I purchased it and read from cover to cover. The book is filled with great insight and examples of how men and women's brains differ. I have recommended it to several people and believe that the insight obtained in many of the chapters can be applied to any kind of relationship whether it is marriage, dating, work or family. Once we understand our "divinely designed" differences, it is easier to deal with gender differences across the board. This book would definitely make a great engagement or wedding gift.

As a pastor, I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking to better understand why their mate acts they way she or he does. People often mistakenly believe that their spouse acts the way they do simply to be annoying. This book does an outstanding job of presenting the evidence for God's unique design of men and women. Yes, we are in fact very different - by design!

Through their presentation, the Larimores detail how the differences are actually part of God's plan for creating women and men to complement one another. Their own stories and the easy to understand presentation of the scientific facts are wonderful and help the reader to better grasp this idea.

I strongly advise anyone considering marriage, or any couple recently married to get this book and read it together. You will laugh together, point fingers at one another, and in the end, gain the freedom to allow each other to operate as God has uniquely created each of you to operate in this world and in your relationship. It is also a great read for anyone that has been married for many years.

Ah, Love! Why do you have to be so different? His Brain, Her Brain explains it all. This book is enlightening and brings to light new medical discoveries. Walt and Barb clarify why men and women are so different in a clinically-oriented and yet humorous manner. These differences can help strengthen the marriage through understanding them. Through diversity comes unity and you can use this book on many levels in your life in facing diversities, finding someone, or just learning to respect and understand differences. The Larimores take this book to a much deeper level than simply pointing out how men and women are different.

This book is engaging, humorous, uses medical science as well as biblical truths. These insights open your mind to even understanding God more and why we are all special through His creations. The key to a successful marriage is having that foundation and the bond is deepened through honoring God. This book can save your marriage and rear you away from divorce through understanding God's plan for your marriage. This book breaks down our bodies and puts medical science in a humorous light. We can laugh at our differences instead of create conflicts. If we were all the same, the world would be a boring place. The mysteries of marriage are revealed in this book. Exploring our differences can lighten up and excite our relationship.

This book uses the latest research and brings the Larimores' thirty years of marriage experience and counseling into light. Scientists have found discoveries with innate differences between men and women and goes beyond the nurture, environment, culture and society upbringings for each individual. This book shows how understanding differences in marriage can bring about bigger changes in helping your marriage relationship, serve God and help others in a more meaningful and bigger way.

(Written by Melissa L. Maldonado)

Final Note: Online Counseling has been shown to help many struggling couples. Learn how to provide online and telephone counseling with this excellent clinical guide: The Therapist's Clinical Guide to Online Counseling and Telephone Counseling: The Definitive Training Guide for Clinical Practice

This book has no real content and does not have many useful excercises as promised. Unfortunately it just does not deliver.

This book has some very good excercises at the end of the chapters. I think that the writing was successful in trying to urge the readers to practice the excercises given.

this book was great! it is an easy and fun read with 2-3 page chapters. each chapter has a story to describe the problem and then helpful ways to work on the problem. i am not an avid reader, and especially don't have much time after school and work, but got through this book in just a few weeks! i highly recommend it to any couple that would like to improve their sex lives!

I loved this book. There were some really useful ways to loosen up and talk to your partner about what you need or want, and the stories that went along with those ideas were hot. My partner and I have been together awhile and reading some sex manuals lately to try to spice things up. It's hard to find a sex book that gives you good advice without being too clinical. But this one does. Those sexy exercises give you lots of options for breaking new ground.

There ia such a need for this book: it is often so difficult to talk about your sexual needs with your lover, about what you like, what you don't, what you would like to be a little different. this book gives ideas on how and when to say things honestly but in a way that will not hurt or turn off your lover. Not crude or didactic, it can give you some wondeful openings to improve your love life.

I have been with my firefighter husband well over 15 years and have always wished for so much - one being this book.

No one on the outside can really get the job unless you live it and even when you live it you don't always understand it. The Dr. states issues that I have always wanted to communicate and put out there but never knew how. There has always been things I have wanted my man to do but never knew how to communicate it to him without having him withdraw. There are now practical things we just never thought about that have been put into place so we can work more together than against one another.

She simplifies it - she makes it easy to get. I get it now. I wish that my husband was the one that made me get it but thats for another book.

This book has an incomplete title. I think it should be required reading for company officers, shift commanders, and chiefs. Employees are a valuable asset and understanding that we are all the same, yet different will help staff officers preserve those assets. The book may be a little too detailed and not "fuzzy" enough for some family members, but those who are truly interested in what their firefighter relative does at work will benefit from the book. Considering the current ratio of male-to-female firefighters in the US today, I thought the book paid adequate attention to female FFs and their perspective. The book also discusses couples that are FFs or FF/law enforcement. Read the Book. It's worth your time.

My husband was a volunteer fire fighter when we met. I had a hard time dealing with constant fire and EMS alarms and the fact that he would put himself in a potentially dangerous situation. Some of the guys on his department recommended this book to him for me so I bought it. I absolutly loved it. I even joined my hometown volunteer department after I had read it to get a better understanding of what he does. I fell in love with fire fighting just as he did. We've been together a couple years now and were married a few months ago. We both belong to my department now and he has just been elected training officer. If it weren't for this book I may have given up on something really great in my life. It touches on all parts of fire fighting no matter if you are a female or male fire fighter. This book is a must have for all fire fighters and their families.

I heard about this book and was going to buy it, but from what I read it seems to refer to the Firefighters as male. Being a FEMALE Firefighter, I was going to buy it for my loved ones to read, but felt that it really did not apply to me. What a huge disappointment. Just when I thought there was a book to help people understand what it is like to live with a Firefighter, I find out that it only applies to the loved ones of the Male Firefighters. Sorry, this isn't supposed to be a Women's rights kind of blog, but we are into another whole millenium...is it still not known that there ARE female firefighters out there???

First, I'll counter J. Brown's review above - the book does not exclusively apply to male firefighters, but given that the vast majority of firefighters in the world are men, it does focus primarily on that.

Now, moving on to the book. I am a (volunteer) firefighter, grew up in a fire family, and work as a 911 dispatcher. I'm pretty familiar with this side of the fence. I bought this book for my significant other, who occasionally has some issues with my running out at all hours. I decided to read the book before I gave it to her, because I wanted to be sure it was worth reading and a fair description of things. Kirschman obviously spent a lot of time on her research and has a pretty good grasp of things - not perfect, but far better than most.

The book makes a lot of good points. It goes into detail about a lot of our daily grind, the things we face, and the ups and downs of the fire service. She obviously tried to understand what we do. No, she didn't do a perfect job, but I don't expect that from someone who is doing research and doesn't feel the call.

She makes quite a few good suggestions - learn to listen, learn to read moods, and decide how much you *really* want to know about what we do in our days. The social network (support network, she calls it) is a major aspect of the fire service, and while she suggests working to grow it, she doesn't make a lot of suggestions how.

My biggest gripe? It seems like Kirschman has a bit of an ax to grind about women in the fire service. I'll make it clear, lest someone call me sexist. My mother was a firefighter. One of my best friends is a female firefighter. I really don't give a rat's hind end what gender you are or what plumbing you have - I need to know that when bad things start happening I can trust you (male or female) to do a job to protect all of us.

So. If you're a firefighter, get this book for your loved ones. If you're a firefighter's loved one, you owe it to your relationship to get this book. Emergency services are hard on relationships. This is a good start.