Sex Relationships Books

This book helped me understand the differences between introverted people and extroverted people. It is useful not just for couples, but also for understanding interactions in any relationship (friends, family, coworkers, etc.). Some of the suggestions seem like common sense to me, but it was all good advice anyhow. I found the book to be a very quick read.

This book is a great complement to the first book as it goes into the different types of relationships between introverts and extroverts. It includes the information that was in the first book but has the added dimension of exploring relationships.

I found it very insightful and helpful! Introverts and extroverts can have a good relationship if they understand the dynamics as explained in this book. Instead of resenting or feeling uncomfortable with a partner that is of the opposite type, understanding and appreciating differences can work in a great way!

I read a great deal, and enjoy most of what I read. Much of it enriches me in one way or another. However, only a handful of the thousands of books I've read in my life has actually changed my thinking about something. DYNAMIC DUOS changed my thinking about dating.

What impresses me the most about Swain's book is that it is evidence-informed. It is not perfect evidence to be sure, but Swain tries to build a relationship model for gay men that is based on empirical data. This is the key difference between this book and the others I've read.

Swain's model suggests that gay men exhibit physiological and psychological traits and mating behaviors ranging on a continuum from Alpha ("traditional" male) to Beta ("traditional" female). (As I'm a Myers-Briggs fanatic, I observed that many of the non-physiological traits could be reframed as ranging from NT/ST to NF/SF). By knowing where we fall on the continuum, Swain suggets we can propose a complementary opposite marriage partner with whom we would have a higher than normal chance of long-term success.

Perhaps Swain will go further in subsequent books, and refine the model. For example, he mentions a shift in some gay men from Beta to Alpha as they age, but does not adequately explain this phenomenon. I wonder if additional research might show a greater propensity for such shifts in men who are closer to the midpoint of the scale versus those closer to the poles; a sort of reconsidered bisexuality, if you will.

Anyway, a worthwhile and interesting book that I recommend.

I was caught off-guard by Dynamic Duos. I expected your standard gay dating/mating book, but it is nothing of the type. The author examines gay relationships from a completely new and fresh angle, using scientific research into the mating behaviors of gay men to reveal the dating patterns that result in successful long-term gay relationships. This insight alone would have made my purchase worthwhile, but in addition, Dr. Swain provides concrete and easy to follow advice on how to put this research to use in your everyday life. I was skeptical at first, but have been following the advice offered in the book and three weeks ago I met a great guy who has never really been involved in the gay world. Is he Mr. Right? I don't know yet, but we've been having a great time together and my hopes are high. And this is coming from a guy who hadn't had a date in two years! Dynamic Duos is well written and is easy to read - it feels like a nice conversation with a good friend. Throughout the book there are stories and quotes from men, (some of which are very sexy). The author doesn't shy away from showing both the good and the bad side of the gay community, and as a result may make some men angry, but if you are seeking a real life-long marriage, a "dynamic duo" of your own, I would highly recommend this book.

Although the cover photograph and some of the case stories are erotic, this is not pornography. In fact, Swain cautions against sexual promiscuity. His system for finding one's soul mate is based on common interests, shared values, and targeting only men of a certain age range and mating type. Once an ideal partner is found, Swain shows how to build and maintain a satisfying life-long relationship. For gay men willing to give these strategies a total commitment, this book could be more valuable than The Rules(TM) : Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right has been for women.

You will learn a lot about yourself, and about finding (and keeping) your perfect partner in this thought-provoking, heavily-researched, clearly-written new book. Understanding the "Alpha/Beta" balance concept in DYNAMIC DUOS will help you a lot, both in your love life and also in your career.

The fantastic thing about this book is that it gives you permission to be who you really are, and accept your natural, biological qualities and talents. Once I started reading, I COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN!

When I took the test in this book, my score was 56 (out of 100), making me slightly Alpha. After spending much of my life trying to be more Alpha - learning business, finance and sales skills - I can now also accept and use the Beta side of my personality: Creative, non-conforming, nurturing and funny! And also look for a complementary partner who is neither extremely dominant or dependent.

The development of ideas in Dynamic Duos builds up to the optimistic conclusion that you can find Mt. Right, once you know who you are, and exactly what kind of guy would be best-suited for you as a life partner. And after being successfully married to his partner for 23 years, this author should know!

Dr. Swain is a fascinating therapist, speaker and author. The ideas in this book are extremely valuable in building self-confidence by validating our individual differences in a world of male conformity, both gay and straight. Get this book, take the test - AND MAKE YOUR BOYFRIEND READ IT TOO!

SMOKEY RITTER

Swain's assertion that a successful gay couple must be comprised of a butch Alpha and a sissy Beta type is simplistic in the extreme and is not supported by published, peer-reviewed research. The book is full of Swain's sweeping generalizations without sufficient explanations of how his conclusions were derived. The solution to your dating worries? If you're a bottom, choose a top for a boyfriend. And the converse. Oh wait, I mean if you're a Beta, choose an Alpha. Problem solved!

I'm also concerned that Swain presents himself as a doctor, yet he obtained his doctoral degree from a distance-learning program that is not accredited with the American Psychological Association. Calling yourself a doctor when you are practicing under a master's-level license is bordering on unethical in my opinion as average consumers don't understand the contradiction and assume that doctor=psychologist.

Not recommended.

There is really not much to this book. It's not very innovative or inspiring. The advice is fairly bland. Pretty much about the same type of information that you might find in a magazine, which is not surprising when you learn that the author wrote for Cosmo.
It's fine but not that interesting if you are even remotely adventurous although, as a woman I found that it had some good instruction on going down on women, the male instructional was not revelatory. Perhaps more for those who have been together for a long time and are looking for some tips that aren't too randy or out of the comfort zone. I won't be keeping this one or making it the subject of any recommendations.

Definitely one of the best books of it's kind I've gotten the opporunity to read. Loved the pictures - and the advice is good, even though some things are near impossible for the average human. Very nice spectrum of information.

I thought this book was great for giving some ideas to things we already do and ways to set the mood, but I wish there could have been more discussion on positions and less emphasis on oral sex. It gave some perspective of what the other person is thinking and touched on the issue of insecurities - all material was presented in an easy to read fashion. My favorite feature was that my sweaty hands didn't warp the pages :) This was a good brief overview book and a quick read.

I loved the layout of this book - very fast reading and great information. I even got my husband to read it and he HATES to read! The pictures are great and the overall feel of the book does not make it seem like your typical instruction manual. I would recommend to everyone!

Once again another pictorial book about sex that thinks it can `pull it off' without showing genitals, much less penetration. I'd hate to see what some of these Authors would produce if they were assigned to write an Operating Procedure for driving a car, shooting a gun, skinning a kangaroo or even playing golf.

I can't find a place for this book. If my kids wanted to learn about sex positions and variations I think I'd sooner watch pornos with them and then have to explain the sanctity of sex and put it in a healthy perspective after that than to try to flick through something like this with them. This is no worse than lots of things out there and in fact better than some. My problem is that I believe sex is absolute intimacy, body fluids, lust ferocity and, ideally, the ultimate expression of Love Trust and Unity with abandon. When it gets to being a sterile, emotionless chore, like a dance or gymnastics class I reckon I'll be off to join the priesthood.

Bless you my children!!!!

Cheers

Lloyd

I'm flabberghasted reading the other reviews of this book, so confused that I just retrieved it, to peruse it again before writing this review. I sense that other reviewers are processing the facts of the book through the lens of their own personal lives.

I read this superb book on men losing interest in sex with their wives as a professional consultant, with a keen interest in sex in America. The book is well balanced and not all focused on placing blame on EITHER party, inspite of two totally contradictory reviews of the same book.

The authors do make the accurate point that the lower-libido partner ALWAYS controls sexual frequency in any relationship. In no way does this book exempt wives from contributing to loss of their husband's libido.

First and foremost, the chapters of the book are organized around the results of a 4000 person, gender-balanced survey of men who have withdrawn from sex with their wives, and wives whose husbands don't want sex with them. These respondents are not married to each other.

We first read the reasons why men said they stopped having sex with their wives. The top three reasons listed were:

1. She isn't sexually adventurous enough for me -- 68%
2. She doesn't seem to enjoy sex -- 61%
3. I am interested is sex with others, but not with my wife -- 48%

Next, we read the women's responses -- why they think their husbands stopped having sex with them. The top three reasons lsited were:

1. He lost interest and I don't know why -- 66%
2. He is depressed -- 57%
3. He is angry at me -- 45%

In fact, this #3 answer among women is about the only thing that men and women agree on in this classic Venus and Mars discussion around marital sexuality.

44% of men surveyed agree that they are mad at their wives, and this fact contributes to loss of libido.

What I like about the book is that it tackles big topics in this gender-based, bedroom divide. As a professional I am interested in the big picture, not one person's personal love life.

The authors write: "One of the biggest predictors of male sexual satisfaction is receiving oral sex. Moving beyond their own 4000 person survey, they cite the well-respected Elle/MSNBC poll of approximately 39,000 men, in which one of the biggest predictors of male sexual satisfaction is receiving oral sex."

That's the Mars position.

Venus, according to the same poll isn't so thrilled with Mars, when it comes to performing fellatio. 45 percent or the women surveyed say that they don't like performing fellatio.

Whether women like or not, men view fellatio as an ultimate expression of love, commitment, adoration, tenderness, and temporary surrender. To have 1 of every 2 marital bedrooms in deadlock on this topic could be considered a national problem, in my opinion.

The value of this book lies in its objective reporting on real answers to real questions in a large national survey. The anecdotal reporting comes from the followup interviews. I prefer this approach to books that focus on the problems of a few sexual or marital-therapy clients, and then offer big-picture analysis.

This book illuminates the chasm between 4000 men and women, who suffer marital distress with a low-libido husband. Period.

At the end of the book, neither sex is responsible. As is the case with most of life, the answers are in the joint-responsibility grey matter. The answers are physical, psychological, and cultural.

The only question that these parties do agree on, is that they are bloody angry with each other. I would begin the marital dig here.

This is a very important book which handles a sensitive and difficult topic with insight, compassion, and solutions. It is well-researched and carefully written by one of the few true experts in the field. Using a survey to gather information from thousands of respondents gives the book an authenticity and a personal quality that helps the reader understand what real people think about this topic. The advice, suggestions, and remedies offered by the authors take the book beyond a mere analysis of the problem to a prescriptive level of practical and useful solutions.

I just finished reading both this book and The Sex-Starved Wife. I really liked this book because it placed the reality of the non-responsive spouse on the man where it belongs. I found the message of the wife being at fault in the Sex Starved Wife to be demeaning, sexist, and very unsupportive to women.

My personal experience with a non-responsive husband is that no matter what you do, there is no response. The non-responsive spouse is in control of the sex. In the last 25 years, my husband and I have had sex no more than 10 times. I am not a nag. I am imaginative. I do discuss. I give him lots of space. There doesn't appear to be any joint solution to this problem - because it isn't a joint problem --- it is MY problem. He is perfectly happy the way things are. I am the one who is unhappy. Viagra does nothing just sitting on the nightstand!

So, this book really gives definitive information on how the wife feels about being deprived of sex and having to beg for it, or suffer for it, or take it whenever the man wants to give it whether she is in the mood or not. I think this male behavior should actually be called marital rape! Men need to know how they are treating women. The MYTH of women nagging and withholding sex is a LIE - It is the MEN who are doing it!

This is a huge problem for women in this country. Another cultural myth is that men are always and forever ready for sex at the drop of a hat - and women and men believe it. There isn't a simple solution to a man who refuses to have sex - dressing up in saran wrap is not going to fix this problem. My life is in tatters. I have given the book to my husband and now I guess I just wait some more! -- Great life....

I highly recommend this book and I am actively looking for others - suggestions are welcome

I gave this book two stars because I believe improving marriages and the sex lives within them are very important, however it should really be one or one and a half stars because this book paints the picture in a very skewed fashion. It takes the position that the reason that couples are having less sex is the Man's fault, and any explanation given to the contrary from a man or a woman is retranslated to show that either the man is trying to deflect responsibility or the wife is "irrationally" feeling a sense of responsibility for an aspect of the sex life. It takes the viewpoint that all guy's are pretty much the same, or should be whatever women demand them to be, and anything less than compliance is his problem that he has to come to terms with. I believe that this kind of biased, accusatory, blaming advice is in no way going to help people at a deep level. I believe in deflecting responsibility from both partners and looking at the relationship which neither one can be separate or exonerated from responsibility from is the best solution. Both partners created the relationship, so both partners are responsible for what occurs in a relationship, like it or not, avoiding that fact, and using the resentful weapon of blame is going to cause more division and short circuit intimacy. If the man doesn't want to have sex, there may be a reason, but it may not be the reason you want to hear. And this whole business of using Erectile Dysfunction to marginalize a man and say that any action he takes or anything he feels sexually or relationally is because of Erectile Dysfunction is so shoddy and disrespectful that it totally misses the point and provides a disservice. What the author(s) don't understand and miss is that a flaccid penis is often the solution to a different problem and is a message from deep inside a man, unless he has a physical problem which can easily be assessed and corrected with better health habits and if absolutely necessary a medication, withthe hope that he will improve and restore his sexual health and if possible wead himself off of it. In the instance of a nonphysical problem the issue must be looked at as an unconscious outgrow of the true feelings and true status of the relationship, that is the most authentic message a man can give, because he can lie with many things, words, some actions, and such, but if he ever gets an erection, even in his sleep or in the mornings or with masturbation, his penis is telling you the truth about how he "really really" feels. Even though the massage may be difficult and not what you want to hear, you would be wise to listen and heed the message. But even in the instance of a "physical problem" his feelings are still valid, and to blame him for his feelings and try to pressure or guilt or blame a man into being sexual with you won't work, and even if it seems to, it will be a factory for resentment. I am not exonerating guy's from responsibility either because guy's and girl's both need to communicate, but misunderstandings like the one's expressed and articulated by the author's are very problematic, and even though they may sort of comfort those who want to blame and not take a real look at their lives and get some responsibility and a sense of control and intimacy in their lives, it could be quite hazardous. For some other options in looking at some of these issues consult books by Bernie Zilbergeld, Barry McCarthy, Jack Morin, Michael Castleman, and especially Marty Klein.

I FOUND THIS BOOK INFORMATIVE, I LEARNED A LOT ABOUT BOTH MYSELF AND MY HUSBAND AND OUR RELATIONSHIP, MOST OF ALL, I HAVE COME AWAY WITH SOME AVENUES TO EXPLORE IN DEALING WITH THE SITUATION.

This excellent book provides the ammunition needed in the fight against those that wish to raise the age of sexual consent to 21. Already thousands of children and adolescents have been forced to register as sexual offenders for committing harmless acts such as groping or even pre-marital kissing.

Is consensually kissing someone a couple years under an arbitrary age of consent is really "sinful"? Is it really the job of government to punish this sin with a lifetime sentence?

All thinking people must not fall for the absurd "save the children from sin" bandwagon movement that is spreading sexual dysfunction and fascism. A fascist police state becomes absolutely necessary when the age of consent is higher than puberty. The natural age of consent is puberty. The ultimate goal of the child purity movement is to outlaw premarital sex. Outlawing premarital sex will criminalize far too many of those that we claim to want to protect.

Judith Levine, Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex (University of Minnesota Press, 2002)

I have read, over the years, a handful of books that I consider to be truly important, books that look at a particular aspect of our society, how it has damaged us (perhaps irreparably), and how we might change facets of our culture to stop further damage, and maybe heal some of the damage that's already been done-- Stanton Peele's The Diseasing of America, Gina Kolata's Rehtinking Thin, Philip K. Howard's The Death of Common Sense, and a few others. It's a very short list, mostly because these are books that do not fit in with the prevailing norms in the least. These are books that are unafraid to take a stand against the stupidity of our current culture. They are unpopular, and it's very hard to get them published. That, of course, makes them all the more important. And of them, perhaps, Judith Levine's Harmful to Minors is the most important. While all of them address very important topics, this one attacks the most wide-reaching subject I've found in one of these books: how America's puritanical attitude towards sex has resulted in generations of increasingly oversheltered, and dangerously uninformed, children, and how that oversheltering and lack of information have pushed America to the brink of disaster and allowed a number of social ills (of which AIDS is only the most visible) to fester unchecked.

When I started thinking about how to write this review, the obvious place to start, it seemed, would be with an extended quote from the book. Problem is, I couldn't come up with just one quote; so much of this book needs to be quoted, so much of what Levine has to say needs said, that singling out one or two paragraphs from the book seemed to be doing the rest of it a disservice. With one short exception (we'll get to that later), the entire book is quotable. Obviously, reprinting a 270-page book does not make for a good review, and yet if I could have done so here, I'd have done it in a heartbeat; this is a book that every American parent, or anyone who was raised in the increasingly oppressive anti-child culture that began to foment in the 1950s, desperately needs to read. Some will find validation in these pages that their embarrassing, socially unacceptable, or "morally repugnant" thoughts are universal. Some will come to understand that their beliefs about how they should be parenting their children are shared by many others. The majority, I think, will find that they are not alone, or nearly as rare as they had believed. It's the people whose voices have caused all these insane "protect the children" laws to be enacted who are in the minority; they just scream louder and know what buttons to press. When Levine traces the raft of onerous laws involving day-care workers (especially male day-care workers) not being allowed to show affection to children to the long-discredited McMartin case, the obvious reaction is, "well, since none of that actually happened, why do we still have the laws?" Indeed. And yet, somehow, we do.

I was prepared to stick this book far atop my list of best reads of the year for 2008, despite us being less than five months into the year, before I hit the epilogue. Levine stumbles a bit at the very end of the book; where she spent the majority of the book completely on-point, in the epilogue she suddenly starts lashing out at things that seem to have nothing to do with her thesis, drawing the most tenuous of connections at best. But this is in no way to say that the rest of the book is not well worth your time; in fact, were I drawing up a curriculum of must-read books for every American, this would most certainly be on it.

Children, especially those who are suffering between the onset of puberty and the so-called "magic age" at which we are all supposed to gain maturity overnight, are the last subclass of people it is considered socially acceptable to repress in America. Judith Levine is outraged by this, as we all should be, and Harmful to Minors is the result. The trouble she had getting the book published, which she recounts in the prologue, should set off major warning bells to everyone reading it. This is a deeply, deeply important book, and I strongly suggest you read it as soon as you possibly can. For in the six years since its release, not surprisingly, things have only gotten worse. The arm is already lopped off; the more of us who read this book, understand the consequences of our culture's actions, and speak up about them, the better a chance we have to stanch the bleeding. For if we don't, the patient may not survive the operation. **** ½

I'm almost all the way done, and I absolutely adore this book. The author sets up and supports very firm arguments against the neo-cons and overprotective parents who seek to push their morality on the rest of the nation. This is a must-read for those who wish to understand how our system got to be the mess it is today concerning sex.

I would say this is one of the 5 most important books I've read in my life.

Finally...FINALLY someone has the courage to stand up and say what needs to be said. Our society is dysfunctional. Parents don't know how to talk about sex and earn their children's trust in sexual matters. They pass their ignorance and fear right down to the next generation. Children who do not trust their own parents are definitely more vulnerable to abuse from others, especially when they learn to trust others.

There is so much hysteria, paranoia and flat out ignorance about sex in America. It is astounding!!!

The controversy that this book generated is mostly due to the repressive, morally righteous environment in this country. But Ms. Levine is also sex-positive. She goes beyond simply providing objective information about sex or our dysfunctional ways of dealing with it, she actually advances many of her own opinions about the positive nature of sex and the negative consequences of repression.

To me, sex raises many questions. I don't have all the answers. The only criticism I could make of the book is that Ms. Levine is a little too opinionated and like a race horse at the starting gate. She comes on a little strong for the majority of Americans, many of whom are still struggling to understand how people can be gay. I'm sure many of these people are not yet able to fathom that children can enjoy and benefit from sex with adults. So that part created a lot of controversy.

First I'll begin by saying that most of the 1 and 2 star reviews of this book are brought on by exactly what this book tries to address; the American sexual taboo. Those that have expressed that this book does not advance the morality of the current society have only supported the claims this book makes (using perfectly cited research).

The author communicates what she is trying to say in a very eloquent but straight forward way which is truly very successful. This book is truly a page turner and the foreword by Dr. Elders (former Surgeon General) is mind blowing.

This book is a must read for parents and teachers and a recommended read for everyone that wants to know a little bit about the least harmful taboo- sex.


Lastly, if you don't like your views and opinions challenged with facts then I don't think this book is for you.

Greg Vaughn has written this terrific work in such a way as to allow the reader to read the book according to their time table. The short chapters allow the reader to keep up the momentum in the face of a demanding schedule. The content is excellent. It delivers awareness, inspiration and practicle, applicable action steps. This is a great second generation companion to The Blessing, by Smalley & Trent.

It's not just a book, it's a movement. The author wants fathers to write legacy letters to loved ones giving them a tangible expression of love showing the appreciation a father feels for the children and spouse. Wouldn't we all love to have something like that from our own parent.
I read in the Orlando paper about a church adopting this concept, planning to teach it using Vaughn's curriculum. I don't think you need a group or to attach it to religion and it doesn't have to be just for fathers. I need to do this for my parents, my bothers and sisters, and my friends.
Here's the question that moves this book: "If you died today, what would your children hold in their hands tomorrow that would let them know that they're the treasures of your life?" Let this book help you provide that special letter to your loved ones.

Greg Vaughn had never been close with his dad. So after his dad died and Vaughn was cleaning out the garage, he was surprised at the depth of his grief. "The only thing I had left from my dad was an old tackle box and silence." He continues, "I remember crying out to God, 'This is it? This is all I get? I don't even have my father's signature!' "

That garage moment set in motion Vaughn's growing nationwide movement to encourage men to write periodic letters to their children --- and wives and parents --- leaving a legacy of blessing, affirmation, and love.

The book essentially explains how to set about writing letters, complete with sample letters, a table of contents listing topics that letters might address over time, and writing tips from a college professor. Vaughn suggests that letters include three elements: praise, hope and vision for the future, and assurance of loving commitment.

But it also has an unfolding plot with multiple characters, explaining how Vaughn gathered a dozen men to join him in his initial, tentative venture. They met monthly for four months, agreeing to write and then read to the group letters they'd written --- first to wives, then to children, then to parents, living or dead, and finally a letter on the order of a final testament: "If our friends who've passed away had been able to speak at their own funerals, I wonder what they would've said. Have you ever thought about that? What would you say if you could speak at your own funeral?"

You see the men interested in the letter-writing concept but clueless as to what to say or how to start. You see the reactions of wives and children when they receive their first letters, presented, according to Vaughn's schema, in wooden boxes with engraved nameplates. You see glimpses into Vaughn's own blended family. You see the birth of a church-based course called "Letters from Dad."

On one level the book is a promotional piece for Vaughn's ministry, but it should not be discounted on that count. It is an inspiring and encouraging tool in its own right. Its breezy tone, airy design, and short (four-page) chapters make the venture accessible even to reluctant participants. It would make a great gift for any father but especially those looking for some tangible way to connect with their children and those who are facing their own mortality and need to feel that they will be remembered after their passing.

As for leaving markable legacies, every chapter of LETTERS FROM DAD begins with a page of feel-good, multigenerational family photos that create nostalgia and interest. But the people are never identified. It seems most --- but not all --- are Vaughn's own family. It makes one wonder: Who are those guys?

--- Reviewed by Evelyn Bence

Men, if you're looking for something practical that you can do to bless your family - this is a great book for you! Vaughn readily admits that he wasn't going to win any "father-of-the-year" awards any time soon, but he felt that the Lord was leading him to bless his family and leave a tangible legacy for his own children that his father never left for him. The idea of writing letters to this children was planted and a ministry and this book are the fruits of his labor. In fact, there is now a web site that has all the resources and materials that you'll need to do exactly what Greg Vaughn did - leave a legacy for his children and grandchildren. [...].

The book was a great read - very encouraging, challenging and uplifting. As Vaughn set out on this journey to bless his family, he surrounded himself with fourteen other men and they began the first Legacy Group that went through the process of writing and giving a letter of blessing first to their wife, then to their children, next to their parents and finally a letter to those they would leave behind after they passed away. These four letters are the backbone of this book - how to write them, how to give them to their recipients and the shared stories of the men that went on this journey to bless their families with Vaughn. One great aspect of this book is that Vaughn includes the real life stories of these other men - some who were divorced and others who were estranged from their children for years - and while not all of the stories were filled with tears of joy, Vaughn and his fellow warriors were on a quest to bless their families regardless of the response from the members of their family.

The book is an easy read for men - it's a very short 240 pages with short chapters and plenty of white space and pictures throughout. The book is great for men wanting to connect with their wives and children and who want to lead their families spiritually as well as leave a legacy for generations to come as the Lord commanded in Psalm 78. I highly recommend this book to all husbands and fathers - it is worth the investment of time and money to buy and read - a real life-changing book!

Not really having much information about my father, and being a father that wants to pass on something of significance to my children, I found this to be a very enriching book.

There are a couple of chapters toward the end that drag a little regarding how Vaughn went from leading a lunch group to championing a ministry.

It is a very quick read, and is packed full of encouragement, I would highly recommend it.

I bought this book for someone I don't even know. On a whim. I never gave it to her. I read it, just because I had it and I read everything.

If you have someone in your life who has deceived you, it's a good, healing, understand-yourself book.

Who ever knew there were so many different types of liars? Anyone who has faced betrayal by someone they love will find this book helpful in explaining why they do what they do.

Whether the liar you love is just "mixed up", or true pathological liar, narcissist, relentlessly passive aggressive... this book is a must read and at the top of my list. Do realize that many of these people cannot be fixed and the prognosis might not be good even if they do get help- many people can be ONLY if they want- and you can love and live with them BUT pay attention to the differences and do NOT, I repeat, do NOT get mixed up with those whose signs are in big neon letters- BAD NEWS, much easier not to get involved than to try to untangle later. How much of YOU are you willing to give up to allow these people their all too often - sick games?Good luck, there is just SO much underlying this chronic behavior, imo, and life is short.

When Your "Lover..." Is a Liar should be titled "When Your MAN Is a Liar..." The author is a women's advocate who only mentions men as liars and women as victims. She should have known better than to use a deceptive title given the nature of the book but probably didn't want to limit sales. Shame on her for lying and deceiving her readers.

Besides the obvious hypocrisy the issue is that when men escape from abusive, sociopathic women and then buy this book they're traumatized by feminist "men can do no right; women can do no wrong" dogma. The author, given her background, knows this; she just isn't willing to lose sales to prevent it. Maybe she'll insert herself as a case study into the next edition.

The reason I didn't give this book one star is a lot of the information is really good. Had it presented in a gender-neutral way -- as the title strongly implies it is -- this would have been a solid five-star book.

This is a relatively short, but extremely useful and informative read. It is written primarily for women, but it certainly can apply to men as well. It's too bad it didn't cover both sides because men are often on the receiving end of betrayal as well. This is part of my rationale for a 4 star rating. However, it is an excellent book overall and certainly still a worthwhile read for a man who is being lied to.

The book covers a lot of ground and does it well. It looks at the dynamics that motivate a person to lie, the various defense mechanisms that come up and it includes enough case histories to make the book interesting, but not cumbersome.

Most importantly, the book provides positive self talk, techniques for reframing events, getting grounded and using confrontation effectively. It also has some simple techniques borrowed from cognitive therapy that can be very empowering and help you regain balance and control.

I was really hoping this book would have some insights into the scary place we call boy's brains but the author, Chad, just really talked about how us girls need to be more confident and believe in ourselves and boys will like us or something. I thought it was more like reading the man's rants and raves rather than a book with chapters and information. I don't think I really learned anything. And I was also suprised at the amount of guy bashing, especially when it was written by a guy. Basically he'd say, "Yes, I know boys are stupid and we don't understand anything..." and I was starting to feel a little bad for boys when a book all about the truth of them calls attention to their negativity. If you want a really eye opening book that's full of information about guys, you should read "What's Up With Boys?" by Crystal Kirgiss.

I predict that this "must read" will take the nation by storm. This is a crucial, can't-put-it-down message. Don't worry--no embarrassing content; just straight talk--presented convincingly--regarding the practicality and advisability of maintaining personal boundaries.

This author of this book knows just how to "talk" to teenagers. I read the book before giving it to my 14 year old daughter and was very impressed with his writing style. The small amount of references to biblical versus was just enough to remind me (and my daughter) how loved we are. That we have so much love from God that we do not need to "seek" love or approval from others. Being ourselves is good enough. The person who loves us for who we are, not for who we "try" to be is our match. The confidence that this book instills in the reader that they are already loved and are a treasure is wonderful! I recommend for all teenage girls!

My daughter really loves this book! She found it to be very helpful in understanding the male brain and how they think about girls. It made her think about how she was presenting herself in front of guys and what changes she needed to make in order to present herself in order to receive more respect from guys. She wasn't behaving badly, but with our current culture our young women are constantly bombarded with the wrong message, and this book was great to help her see how guys really are and how she needed to change some things so that further interactions will be more positive and less painful. I am hoping that these insights will save her from making the common mistakes that current culture deems normal and OK.

Hey girls! Are you wondering why guys are so confusing? Well in the book The Truth About Guys by Chad Eastham, he reveals everything a girl should know about guys.
In the book The Truth About Guys Chad writes about the differences between girl's and guy's brains. Girl's brains are like spaghetti. They're all interwoven and they can talk about 50 random topics in 1 or 2 sentences. Guy's brains on the other hand are like waffles. Their brains have compartments and their thoughts can't flow. For example, in one compartment may be about his dog. When he thinks about it he will only talk about that one topic, until he stops and remembers another compartment. Chad also talks about how different girls are from guys. For example, girls like to ask guys about their feelings and talk about what they're thinking. Guys would rather not talk about their feelings. They would rather discuss topics along the line of sports, cars, dirt, and fire.
This book is really good for guys as well because they can read it and figure out why girls get mad so easily, and what we are looking for in a guy. This book shares really good tips about dating, communicating, and understanding guys. Find all the answers to all of your questions and know how to have a good and healthy relationship with the opposite gender.

What I like about this book is that my pre-teen daughter can read this book without being defiled with information or examples that are not appropriate for her age or experience. I actually benefited from some of the advice because the principles are applicable all, e.g. trust, patience, etc. It is also great for opening communication with your daughter even if you don't come from the same background as the author.

Get it before your daughter is in trouble. I read a friend's copy and am ordering it for my daughter right away.

i wish i had read this book when i was a teen! it is written
in a charming style, with a "princess" story at the beginning
of each chapter, and then broken down by subject into the concept
that was introduced in the story. it is practical, and simplifies
hard to deal with subjects using easy to understand examples. i
will be reading this periodically to my daughter and son, until
they are fully ready to find a suitable marriage partner. i highly
recommend it!

I recently purchased this book and have enjoyed everything about it. I often find myself talking and thinking of things that I shouldn't, but often not knowing how to capture and stop those bad habits. Sarah Mally gives reason, examples, and Scripture of keeping yourself mentally and physical pure for the "Perfect ONE" God has for you. This book has helped to change my understanding of why it is so importantto choose God before anything and fill my whole heart with Him only. If you are a young girl struggling with feelings and thoughts you should purchase this book. PLEASE READ THIS BOOK!!!

I do recomend this book, heartily, to all young ladies. It wasn't too graphic, and it has gems in it. Not only does it talk about the importance of doing it God's way, it gives you tips for how to fill the time you are waiting (and it's not trying to lure Prince Charming in with skimpy clothes and seduction), by drawing closer to God and preparing yourself for the time when you will be a helpmeat.

Great assessment of a biblical reason and motivation for emotional purity before marriage; especially applicable to teens and youths...

Probably this book is geared toward a specific segment of the populace, as her own experience and thus her writing is quite sheltered and limited, it appears. I'm not quite so gungho on the application part of her writing (though this does not negate the truth of the first part - the biblical basis!).

Still worth the read, especially if you are able to fit into any of the catagories similar to her life.