Sex Relationships Books

I found this book unhelpful in my quest for knowledge. This book is suitable for the very novice -- and that's about all. I would suggest buying it for a partner if you want to make sure they are not scared off by the introduction of this topic through the internet. Otherwise, this book actually refers you to internet sites on numerous occations.

This is a marvelous, revealing tome. It's wonderful to read a book written by an author who obviously knows their subject. I happened upon the reference book mostly by accident and I consider myself very lucky to have done so. The author points out that in her book "all sexual behaviors that occur by consent among mentally competent adults are seen as acceptable, valid, and normal expressions of adult sexuality."
She begins with a lengthy discussion of what is normal sexual practice, which is lengthy because the definition has varied so greatly throughout history and in different societies. She then gives the curious reader some simple tests to take to determine their own "Kink Quotient" and "Ready or Not?" quiz "as a guide in your journey towards a fuller understanding of your own sexual identity."
All of us have been puzzled by unexpected reactions we've experienced from certain stimuli. Sometimes the surprise reactions are quite sexual when the stimulus doesn't seem sexual at all. All of us have had reoccurring dreams and daydreams that have been with us for our entire life. Most of us have certain seeming insatiable desires--be it for chocolate, shoes, clothing made of certain types of materials, romance novels where the heroine is carried off by the pirate or the lady imprisoned in the tower is rescued and rides off into the sunset with her knight in shining armor. Many of these compulsions to collect such items as shoes and clothing are really fetishes. Many of our dreams of being swept off our feet by the handsome pirate, barbarian, sports figure, soldier, etc. are also signs of deeper sexual needs and unspoken desires.
What this book does for the searcher or the just plain curious, is to help them to find themselves: to answer unspoken, but nagging questions that have been in their subconscious for as long as they can recall, and once insight is obtained, how to explore those newly discovered worlds. Terms such as "kink" and "fetish" are explained. Relationships such as S&M, D&S, BDSM and "Power Exchange" are defined and illustrated. There is a fascinating section entitled "Talking Points on Sex and God." There is an exhaustive glossary of terms in the back of the book.
The discussion of the differences between Role-Playing (usually private and very temporary) and Lifestyles (permanent and often public) is fascinating. Most everybody fits into the role-playing scene at least sometime in his or her life. Most everyone has experienced unexpected erotic reactions and dreams. It's the norm. Reading this excellent reference book will help people answer some of their unspoken questions and in many cases, get over their dark fears and doubts. It's excellent therapy. Enlightenment is healing.
The book also has all the expected details of the chief forms of S&M, the types and descriptions of sexual toys often included in such play, advice on safe sex, mutual consent and psychological ramifications of such activity plus much, much more. Many readers will discover that they aren't kinky at all, or only a little kinky, or a kink genius, but wherever the individual reader discovers him or herself to be, the reader will have a much deep understanding of the world of kink and the people who inhabit that world. They will also understand why they are so turned on by certain movies, songs, plays, books and people or what they may be wearing. The term "Fetish" comes from a medieval term, which refers to religious relics believed to possess magical properties. They will understand that some people can have fetishes for almost anything including "vaccination scars." There is simply no limit to what some people get sexually aroused over and most of it's pretty harmless. The book also provides ways to tell if one is being abused and what to do about that. If the book does nothing else it will open the reader's eyes to many of the otherwise un-noticed references and erotic symbols found in all art. The book is worth reading even if one is only curious. For others, reading this book will provide a brightly lighted path to self-understanding, peace and unexpected and fulfilling fun. This reader can hardly wait to read the author's other books.

This is an awesome book to start out with. This book covers the basics but also works in relationship issues. Several books I have read talk about the technical parts of BDSM, but miss the day to day lives of the players. If your starting out this book is almost mandatory. Great resources and makes you think through BDSM so you can zero in on what you like and dont.

Having been involved in various aspects of kink since the late 70's, I'm usually unimpressed with the crop of fad-riding how to's about the subject popping up these days. Come Hither, however, breaks through the pack and stands out remarkably as a MUST READ if you're serious about understanding the amazing possibilities that can come from exploring natural, kink-filled passions (or need a useful tool in helping a loved one understand).

Rather than coming off as a stale, academic guide, Dr. Gloria Brame has witfully woven together all of the basics in an innovative form that can be easily molded to individual tastes. Her experience in the field of sexology comes through solidly in the many technical tips offered in the text, but I also found that the book provided a nice blend of pertinent anecdotes and useful opinions that gives the reader ample food for thought in drawing their own conclusions. While perhaps not groundbreaking in its content, Come Hither clearly leaps to the head of the class as a literary model in portraying kink as healthy, safe, exciting and most of all, FUN!

Great info. Great ideas. Great style. I strongly recommend it to everyone regardless of experience level.

I was torn between this book and some of the books actually refered to in this book, whether in the text or the "additional reading" section and I'm glad to say that I started with this one. While it didn't really teach me anything I didn't already know, it was a re-assurance. It did enlighten me to a few things and make me want to learn more. Overall, I say it's a great place to start and a quick, easy read.

Thank God we don't have to live by these rules today -- but there's nothing better than to laugh at the customs of decades gone past. This is a read out loud book for bridal showers and everyone of all ages will LOVE this book!

This is a hilarious gag gift for a bride... Some of the advice is not only soooooo outdated but June Cleaver herself would have gasped! This book is a staple in my bachelorette gifts.

This is a laugh out loud walk through the past -- the book is filled with retro photographs of couples from the 1950's. A great book to pull out in a party of married couples. Husbands will run for cover, while the women scream with delight. A great bridal shower gift.

Reading the Twelve Gifts of Marriage is a wonderful way to take a step back and thoughtfully consider how much your partner means to you. So often we get caught up in the day-to-day and forget those wonderful characteristics that attracted us in the first place. This book helps you remember and appreciate the strength of each other and your coupleship.

I gave this as a gift ot my husband and he was really touched. This would be a great gift to every married couple or a couple that will be getting married. Lots of great advice and messages to all that read it.

The story and messages in The Twelve Gifts of Marriage are so important that I give this book, along with a crystal to hang in the window, (as suggested in the story) to all my wedding couples. (I am an ordained minister.)

Although the "gifts" of marriage sound simplistic, they are, indeed, the basis of every marriage. If couples would review these at least weekly, perhaps they could keep the lines of discussion open and honest.

In my opinion, not quite the caliber of Charlene's "Twelve Gifts of Birth" and "Twelve Gifts for Healing". The message(s) for a happy marriage are great, but found photos uninspiring. Just OK.

I've read dozens of self help books and this one stands far above the rest. It is one of my top 3 most influential books. It clearly explains the importance of certain concepts such as boundaries, feelings inside us and how they impact current relationships, and how we have certain behaviors that negatively impact our relationships - that we aren't even aware of where they come from. The book then goes on to showing HOW to implement the ideas, and they do work. I can tell you that in a short period of time, this book has provided tremendous insight into myself, feelings, and how I relate to my partner. You will be able to put the ideas to work immediately. The revelations I have from this book have helped me feel more whole, and with an ability to respectfully love my partner. The ideas in this book blew me away- definitely worth a read.

What a fantastic read. I have difficulty connecting with many self-help or relationship-help books, but this is one that hit the mark every time. The author gets a little corny now and then, but if you can look beyond her peace-flower prose and to the deeper meaning, the message is powerful.

Unhooked exposes the often shocking realities of the hookup cultures and mentalities permeating not only college campuses, but also high schools and middle schools today. The candid accounts of the females interviewed for the book reveal that on the surface, hooking up (regularly and indiscriminately) may seem to be the solution for young women whose lives are already over-committed and whose passions are focused on achieving a successful career--while avoiding the potential encumbrances of emotional relationships. But, underneath it all, these young women still desire to "love and be loved." Painting the picture of the hookup culture in all its vivid colors and eye-opening/jaw-dropping details, Laura Session Stepp reveals the current plight of young women who relate with their bodies--at the expense of their psyches and hearts.

Ms. Stepp does a good job of describing the "Hook Up" culture, but I can only think that her opinions about it come from the patriarchy or the Religious Right (same difference), especially since the author basically said that the only thing keeping people from indiscriminate sex is religion (she recommends that parents take their children to church instead of dragging them around to soccer and Suzuki).

The author is worried about the behavior of girls, but the only thing that's happening is that the girls are acting the exact same way that guys have always acted. Maybe women are finally and truly liberated at last and the culture is undergoing a positive change. Why isn't she worried about how the guys have always acted, like predators?

Maybe "the guys" need a dose of their own medicine. Maybe this is happening because women are tired of having their lives screwed up by men.

Maybe Ms. Stepp is only capable of analyzing the ramifications of the "Hook Up" culture, based on the way things used to be, and assuming that the way things used to be was better. Maybe there is a change going on for the better, that women are refusing to be victimized and exploited, and she missed it.

I have read a lot of books on this subject and I have to say that this is one of the best...if not depressing. Rather than just citing a bunch of statistics (which she does have,) she really gets into the mindset of several young women and follows thier lives and thier romantic relationships for a while to give a good glimpse of dating in America today. I wish her examples weren't only from the DC area but I still would highly recommend this book and will likely reread it.

Chesney Lind Criminologist points out a critical factor that can not be ignored in regards to feminist theory: males can not simply be ignored when analyzing the behavior of females. This is precicely what Laura Sessions Stepp fails to do in her book. The book itself is actually phenomenal and informative. She is very idealistic in terms of love and being in love however. I am not sure that that type of relationship is reasonably sustained over a lifetime. Rather, I believe as she points out too that a marriage is about commitment and work. I question her belief that you will remain in love throughout a lifetime. But what do I know as a college student. I also question how uniform the hook up culture is as a college student. I have never participated in it unless under the guise that is would lead to a relationship which for me it always did. Although, these and similar books are good books they also fail to address sex in relationships. Instead, they make it seem almost as though you should feel obligated to have sex immediately in a relationship sjince all the other girls are "hooking up" and the guy could get it for free anyway. I am disappointed that the book failed to address the damaging effects of having sex to early in a relationship as well. Also, I am unclear as to how many people hook up since i am not involved in a sorority and do not really party. However, I would hardly say college age students have abandoned the practice of dating. Despite all of this the book is a very good read. It is informative and reminds you to stick to your values or to re-evaluate those that are lacking.

Although this book was easy and interesting to read, at points I had to put it down out of frustration. As a female college student I can relate to some of the experiences these girls shared, however, I do not feel that Stepp represented college women fairly and accurately. I feel as though she projected her own feelings about sex and relationships onto the experiences of the women she interviewed. Anyone who reads this without knowing anything about the author will be able to tell that she is from an older generation and was raised more conservatively with strict rules for dating and relationships. Stepp tells the reader that she wants to understand the hookup culture better but at the same time she is so critical and compares the women of my generation to her own. For me, I think the idea behind the book is great: share the experiences of college age women in the hookup culture. However, it turned out to be something a bit different: the experiences of upper class college women who mate like bunnies being chastised and criticized by a conservative women more than 30 years older. It is so hard to be completely open-minded to those younger than you when you yourself have already had your own experiences.
Stepp, this generation, our generation, has been raised differently that your own. I am not saying that we were raised better or worse than one another, just differently. Women today want to make their own choices and they will. Our choices might be influenced by our parents, peers, or the media, but in the end they are our own. If you truly want to understand what it is to be a part of the hookup culture all you need to do is listen. We cannot and will not be compared.

I picked up this book and couldn't put it down. EMK is a smart and funny writer who never pretends to know more than his readers, even though he does. Love it!

Having read several books on dating, I highly recommend this one maybe even if you aren't single. Hugely insightful and covers all the bases in dating. You just might see yourself on one of the pages (uh oh) but the authors, although straight forward and real, use lots of humor to make their messages clear and easy to take. Most valuable of all is that you get to see every issue from both the male and female perspective at the same time. I think even people in relationships would get a lot out of this book. The best on the subject I've read.

I really enjoyed this book, and the only thing that is disappointing is the title because the book speaks to all of us whether we are single or not. The title could be "Why You're Still Unhappy" or "Why You're Still Unhappy Even Though You Are In A Relationship". The points in this book are basic ways to relate better to our fellow human beings and ourselves. It takes a lot of people a long time to learn the lesson that "it is all about me and not about them". Some people never learn it and are still looking for a partner to fill the voids in their lives.

I forgot about this book until I saw an excerpt of it on msn today. I read it when it first came out. It is filled with weak cliches and nothing new. There isn't any real advice, it's just new ways of saying, "be yourself" and a bunch of other tips that aren't really advice. Skip this one and read The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate--and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top and God Is a Woman: Dating Disasters, which are two excellent books with solid sink-your-teeth-into-it advice that actually works and is fresh.

Nothing new and not even funny (which seems to be the main intent). Much too focused on generalizing about women's flaws and how these supposedly limit chances for relationships.

This book won't change your life--or even provide a good laugh. (The irony that neither author is him/her-self successful in maintaining a long-term relationship seems lost on both of these "advice-givers"). Not recommended.

these are real women reporting their lives. and the journeys of some to get from pain to pleasure, which is their right. The focus is on positive sexual experiences - something rarely if ever done. Hearing all positive things sounds strange - which tells us how negative our culture is about women's sexuality. Finally a book that doesn't call women "happy sluts" or something, just bcs they love sex or report positive experiences. no such word exists for men who love sex - that's just considered "normal". its about time some science backs up women's positive sexual feelings.

Gina's book has been a great tool for me in coming from a place of much woundedness around my sexuality. It has helped me to move beyond the pain and shame that has been a part of my entire half century of life. Women Who Love Sex has given me hope . . hope that it is okay, it is healthy to embrace my sexuality in a positive way. Reading Women Who Love Sex has helped me to see that I am not alone in my journey to recapture the beauty and pleasure that is my birthright. This book has given me more faith. It is high time for women to bring our sexuality out of the "closet." Thank you, Gina, for your courage and insight to contribute so richly to a population starving for connection with our sexual wholeness!

I bought this book to "prove" to my wife that there are Women Who Love Sex. I was also hoping to get some ideas for improving our sex life. I was pleasantly surprised at what I found.
I am a male, 52, who's been married for 29 yrs. I started out liking this book and ended up loving it. The information and ideas presented deepened my understanding of, and respect for, all women. At my age I thought that I had learned quite a bit about female sexuality. However, Dr. Ogden took me on a tour into the depths of women's sexuality and showed me things beyond what I could have imagined. You come away from the book realizing that women are more "advanced" sexually and emotionally than the vast majority of men. A careful reading of the book will also show men that women are equal to men intellectually and "deeper" than us spiritually. Yes, guys, these things must be said. It's time that we gave women their due.
I highly recommend this book for women and men everywhere. I honestly believe that no man can consider himself to be sexually mature in his interactions with women until he understands and puts to use the revelations in Dr. Ogden's book.

The original content of this book would probably have fit in a few pages. Either the author has a vivid imagination or is simply on an ego trip. Women deserve more substance. The "women" presented here have little in common with most of us.

I was quite refreshed after reading this book.I think it was very enlightening.And, it spoke to me like no other. I have read many self help & awarness books.But, never felt the way I did after reading this one.I felt empowered with strength and at peace with the need to be spiritual and sexual. I have recommended this book to many of my friends and am waiting on my fiance to finish it. I don't think it would hurt for everyone in this world to be enlightened.And from words in the book - we just need to be open to communication, and have a steadfast willingness to give up dysfunctional behavior.The world would be a much better place, if this was possible!!

This is the second novel in the "Rainbow Boys" triology, and it's as great as the first. Author Alex Sanchez has created three such distinct and likable characters who you can relate to and sympathize with, and enjoy their triumphs. He treats the many issues caused by their homosexuality with great care and honesty. I was particularly impressed with how Sanchez dealt with the issue of coming out as a member of a team sport, not with just one character but two, and with two sports that carry very different dynamics (Jason on the high school basketball team and Kyle on the swim team). This is a book that does a great service for gay teens, and it's eminently readable for people of all ages. It's compelling and inspiring, tender and fun. It's also upsetting at times--there are a number of situations caused by homophobia that stir genuine outrage. But it's these situations that cause the boys to grow--and their handling of the situations cause the readers to love the characters all the more. "Rainbow High" is another gay coming-of-age classic. And I'm looking forward to finishing the trilogy as I dive into "Rainbow Road."

This is a fantastic book. I found it very moving and it shows what we have to go through in life. It talks about being yourself and hiding because that is what all of closeted cases tend to do. I have discussed this with my friends and family and they still care about me no matter what my sexual orientation.

This book started off slow really. Then it got really good in the end. I was happy I kept reading it because the ending was so good. Jason comes out to his team and the school loves him for it while Kyle's life in school is the total opposite from his boyfriends. Nelson is thankfully over Kyle and he has a boyfriend. But as we all know, life isn't perfect now that you have a boyfriend. It was really good just not as good as the first book.

Finally, a story about gay teens, while told with honesty and realism, where no one dies. Author Sanchez has a great feel for teen language and motivation. He is also spot-on with the parental and other adult characterizations. The plot teaches without being pedantic and without ceasing to entertain. There's also a couple of scenes that steam lightly with the mildest, yet warm eroticism, but it's certainly not gratuituous in the least and written tastefully and without prurience. As a former young adult librarian, I've so often needed gay fiction to recommend to struggling teens for a bit of bibliotherapy. Until Sanchez, there's been a definite dearth of such literature. Looking forward to reading his other books and highly recommend this one. The eye candy covers are fun, but the content is far more than fluffy hotties looking bored.

Rainbow High is a very inspirational book. Especially for the Lesbians, Bisexuals, Gays and Queers. An inspiration because alot of homosexuals are very uncomfortable with the way they look and how they would fit in with the world, and why won't the world except them for who they are. Sanchez shows all of the difficulties and hardships homosexuals endure in the "normal" community, including high school. He also expresses how other people react to their homosexuality, including there very own relatives.

I love this book because it inspires me personally.Alot of people dont except me for being bisexual and its hard. But as long as i stand up for myself and not let anyone control what I want to do and be in life, i'll have alot of respect after words.

In this book, author Dr. Ellen Wachtel gives advice on what she has seen work in couples therapy sessions that she refers to as "The 4 Truths" and other simple, practical tips that hundreds of couples she has counseled have found useful to repair a relationship that seems to be going awry as well as how to maintain a good relationship over time. As an interpersonal- relational communication major, I found much of her advice supports research done in the field. This book is an easy read and contains both things you never knew could help strengthen your relationship as well as things you probably already knew. Life gets hectic, this book is a nice reminder of the small things you can work on daily to maintain a healthy loving relationship. smlykaili

I couldn't beleive there were so many similarities! I read the book in a day. I hated to put it down.

As an interpersonal and relational scholar in the field of communication, I viewed this book through the eyes of someone educated on the topic of relationships. Ellen T. Wachtel has many good points in this book, but I would stress that it is a book aimed at marriages and long term relationships. This is not something that young couples just starting out would find very helpful. Many of the tips in this book help to remind readers of the maintenance required everyday in their relationship. Overall, I would recommend this book for someone who does not have a lot of experience studying communication who is interested in preserving their marriage.

As a student who has spent a good amount of my college career delving into the subject of interpersonal relationships, I can appreciate this book. I have found Wachtel's concepts relevant and well put. Certainly her work is interdiscplinary, with references to theories in Social Psych. Her Basic Truths are fundamental to relationship building and maintenance. By addressing valid concerns of people who are in a relationship or who have ever been in one, Wachtel is able to offer realistic guidelines that can help individuals regain their sanity & help couples regain control over their seemingly downward spiral. Certainly others can benefit from her tips for how to manage commitment & autonomy, how to determine when to define self and when to agree, and how to pick and choose battles. The idea of collaboration rather than compromise is reinforced in this book. Not only is the book full of a wealth of information, it is also filled with ways to put the information to good use. Particularly useful sections/chapters were:
- "Guidelines for deciding whether there is enough good in the relationship to stay committed to one another." >> Discusses the idea of costs and rewards
- "We Love Each Other, but... we get into really bad arguments.
- "We Love Each Other, but... Now I'm not so Sure."

This book is not only for married couples... many can benefit from it!!

This book is really about the basic characteristics of human relationships. Even though it is geared toward married couples, it can apply to any relationship (i.e. boyfriend- girlfriend, friends, families, business). It gives you very simple techniques on how to argue effecitively, and other everyday ideas on how to maintain a relationship. This boodk would work best if both partners are willing to try the methods.