Sex Relationships Books

Four weeks ago I found out my husband had been cheating on me. I was furious. I threw my husband out of the house. But I was devastated. We have three children, and I thought we had a good life. Everything seemed to be over for good. Then my therapist said something amazing. She said, "Look, he did a bad thing, but is he really a bad man?" That stopped me. I thought about our life together. He was a good man. I could always rely on him. My therapist lent me her copy of this book. I think it may have saved my life. I read it in one evening. I saw how my husband really could have been in pain even though he put me in pain.
Most of all, I saw that there were many reasons why people cheat, and most of them DON'T mean that your marriage is over. And I saw what the work was that my husband and I needed to do to put our marriage together. My husband and I have talked almost nonstop for the last two days. It's been pretty intense. But Myra Kirschenbaum's book has given me, given both of us really, the hope and understanding to work at healing our marriage.
This is one of those books that can save your life. I am so grateful for it.

This book is logical and realisitic in how it deals with the reality of cheating and affairs. Most affairs, I beleive are not simple and not entered into haphazardly. Ms. Kirschenbaum does a very good job of making this point and explaining what is on level unacceptable behavior. Still she is able humanize the people involved and that has to make reasonable people think. It's a very good book; I will likely read it twice.

This book is outstanding. It will help you figure out what you are doing and why you are doing it. Once you have figured that out, you can start to make the decisions you need to make to get your life back on track. being stuck between two relationships is no way to go through life. It is destructive and hurtful to EVERYONE involved. In NO WAY does this book try to condone the behavior of people who cheat. Mira simply recognizes that infidelity is a fact of life (75% of couples will be touched by it at some point), and the most important thing is to help people figure out why they have stepped beyond their primary relationship so that they can decide what to do next. Mira clearly distinguishes between sociopathic louts who cheat simply because they "can", and the otherwise good person who has, quite uncharacteristically, "strayed" and is now in WAY over their head in a second relationship.

The book is comprehensive but spends most of its time helping you figure out who is right for you, the primary partner or the affair partner. I think this section is outstanding, and Mira tackles a subject that few if any other authors have ever dared approach. While it is very helpful (she has found a way to compare apples to oranges!!!), I think one of the things left out (probably because it is so individual) is transaction costs. What I mean is even if you figure out (with Mira's techniques) that the "affair" partner is better for you, you still have to go through a divorce, split up money and assets, give up at least 1/2 of the time with your children, lose many of your friends, move out of the house, start your life over from scratch etc etc. How do you factor that in? How MUCH better does the affair partner have to be to justify this upheaval? Again, this will be different for everyone. Someone who has not much to lose might leave for a marginally "better" partner. Someone with a LOT to lose is only going to leave for a MUCH better situation. So in the end this is a difficult decision that should NOT be made impulsively. It should be made after careful thought and analysis, and this book CERTAINLY helps put 90% of the important issues into perspective to make this difficult decision. I recommend a good local therapist to help you out with the individual aspects of YOUR situation.

I have read the book from cover to cover and I recommend it HIGHLY. It helped me sort out my own situation. Thank god it came out in such a timely manner. Good luck with your own ordeal...I KNOW it is NOT EASY!! I have intentionally not said what I ended up doing....I remember when I first started trying to figure out what to do about my own situation I would read reviews like this and try to see who stayed and who left and tried to read into that information to see what I should do...I don't want to sway anyone one way or the other. GOOD LUCK!

I bought this book thinking I would read it and pass it on to my boyfriend, who is married. I found, to my surprise, that I was reading it for myself: reading to find out if he was right for me, if I should stay with him, if there might be other men who were more right for me, and so forth.

Much of the book--particularly toward the end--confirmed for me that I had been right in advising him to leave his marriage and set up a household that would be healthy for his three children. Whether or not we end up living together or marrying is secondary to his creating a happy, healthy life for himself and his loved ones. He needs to do this first, before he and I enter into a permanent, full-time relationship.

I am grateful to Mira Kirshenbaum for writing this book. It was funny, insightful, helpful, and the many other good things such a book should be. I wish my friends J. and C. could have read it when they were in trouble; their husbands weren't right for them, and it took many years and tears for them to discover that.

First off, I would like to address the review from Jillian C. "Qbridge". I couldn't help but notice her bitterness and closed mind on this subject. I disagree with her statement of anyone "LIKING" to cheat on their spouse and in so doing, choosing anyone and everyone to cheat with. The reason for my review is to support the author and her beliefs regarding the content of this book. Today during channel surfing I caught her being interviewed on a news network. It was more of a "roast" and the interviewer (was it "Qbridge"??) was mocking the author for her obvious deep thought on this subject. The author was cut off when she said that it actually takes more courage for the cheater to keep their past secret to themselves. I applaud this author for giving much thought and help to those who truly need it.

My pastor recommended this book after my own fall from grace and it has been eye opening (or closing). This book gives you the tools to curb your sexual appetite that is fed by your eyes. You look at a beautiful woman (God's creation) and notice here breasts, or any other part of her anatomy, so you stare and process this image with your eyes, then send it to your brain to remember her in your files, then it goes to your heart where the lust kicks in. Now you're hooked. Every Man's Battle starts with the eyes. Turn away, close them or bounce. Bounce your eyes means you see something innappropriate (internet, print, live, etc) and your eyes immediately move away to something else. This prevents the brain from processing it and sending it to your heart to relive.

My hope is that society will begin to appreciate women as God's creation and place them on a pedastal to be cherished and nurtured and not an object of desire for all to use.

Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series)

Emotional integrity is something we don't often think about. In today's society, if you have not physically cheated on your husband, you have not cheated. This came crashing down around me when I was emotionally unfaithful to my husband, but not physically, and I came to understand that it could have just as easily destroyed my marriage (and nearly did). This book was a turning point for me. Shannon explains how God created women to be, and how we can be what He created us for with purity. A womans heart is so beautiful, and so fragile. We all want to be loved. Reading this book helps us to discover the one true lover of our souls, Jesus Christ.

Whether your issue is just one, or many of the topics covered in the book, it truly is EVERY womans battle. And when you read it, you feel like you don't have to live in shame because the title is EVERY womans battle. Every woman deals with one or more of these things.

Please, read the book and experience God's love, grace, forgiveness, friendship, and restoration for yourself.

Having read Stephen Arterburn's book, Every Man's Battle, I thought I would read this book to see what I could learn from it.

As for the men, you will probably not learn anything more out of this book if you have already ready Every Man's Battle. And for women, all I can say is wow, all women should be given this book at a young age to read.

This book can help one understand the what and why's of what is happening when it comes to sexual and emotional fulfillment in relationships, and what can be done to deal with it.

Yes, I somewhat agree with the other reviewers that complain about the book not talking enough about woman who have as strong a sex drive as men, but I don't think it was right for them to rate this book so low for that one point.

I highly recommend all woman buy it, and also make sure your Church library has one.

Wow!!!!!!!!!! Excellent study. In short, face facts and deal with your demons head on with God at the front of the battle.

Wow, what a way to learn about the heart of a woman. This was fantastic.

I love the way she writes, so female sex postive. Because of this, I recommend that every woman who can have access to this book, should read it and make their own conclusions.

This book, along with Sex, Your Woman and You: How to Sexually Please Your Woman in the Bedroom and Beyond has been a godsend! It really shows you how to improve your sex life. It's definitely worth every penny I paid for it.

Great writer, great pictures--all-in-all a lovely book. Every woman should keep one in her personal library so that she can have it handy for reference. I say it is ALMOST the last word on orgasm, because another book specifically address women's difficulty having orgasms while engaging in intercourse. Five Minutes to Orgasm Every Time You Make Love: Female Orgasm Made Simple tackles this problem with a simple, easy-to-follow three step technique. And if you really want mind-blowing orgasms, have your lover learn the art of cunnilingus. Reciprocate by learning the art of fellatio yourself. How? By reading this great book: The Sensuous Couple's (Flip Over) Guide to Seismic Oral Sex. It's a flip over book with everything you need to know about cunnilingus on one side and everything you need to know about fellatio on the other. Buy all three, and you will really be in business!

This book is packed with great info about orgams--how to get there, what they are and how to get more. A definite must read! I also liked Good Sex: A Woman's Guide to Losing Inhibition .

This book reminds me of a Cosmo article with illustrations. For example, page 70 is nothing more than a brief explanation of caressing, use of feathers, silk and stroking. The book is only 160 pages and much of that is pictures. That leaves very little room for actual instuction.

Lacking is a detailed explanation of the orgasm and the anal component of the female orgasm. Anal sex receives only a few comments on pages, 122-125. I was fairly disappointed in the lack of information in this book.

For a better explanation of orgasm, I recommend "The Technology of Orgasm" by Maines and "Anal Sex for Couples" by Strong.

I had fun reading this. Made me laugh. Made me think how some guys treat women. Some of the quotes and advise were actually good. Everything was numbered. A lot of the stuff was repetitious...just worded differently. I enjoyed reading this.

This book stopped me from picking up the phone several times, and I'm grateful for that. A must-have for any woman on the dating scene.

This book helped me get over a short but rough time in my life and showed me that you have to face reality no matter how you feel. I felt like the authors were speaking directly to me. There were so many things that applied and just a few that didn't. If someone is going through a tough time, I highly recommend reading it.

Finished this on a two hour flight. Fun and true! Would definitely recommend.

The book came on time. The book was so good to read that I haven't put it down yet.

This book was suggested by a random person. I was immediately enthralled from the first chapter and could barely put it down. It is the perfect book to read when you are ready to begin reading yourself.

This is a great book and I have already recommended it to several of my friends. If you are looking for personal growth and spirituality from within then this is definately the book to read.

This is a great book to help anyone looking for lasting love. It will help you understand why you are the way you are and how to change into the person you would love to be to get the love you deserve. I will read this book over and over again for sure.

This book got me through a rough time in my life. Made me realize I surrounded myself with people that cant seem to get out of "Basement" mentality,making me unable to pull mylife forward.If you have ever felt "stuck" I suggest you read,and re-read this book.... you will be able to let go of the people that are afraid to go forward with there own lives and pull you down with them......and finally move on to a loving,happy,life of your own.

Iyanla did a fabulous job with this album. Her voice is so inspiring, and just helps you get through it or over it! I remember being in a very long relationship and when it ended I did not know which way to turn. A friend made me listen to this album, and I can truly say "that was all she wrote!" Iyanla takes you step by step to begin healing after having to let go. The songs are so inspring as well. If you don't have a copy of this album I suggest you go ahead and get it. You won't regret it!

Perel's book is a must-read for couples in their relationships for the long haul. As a sex and relationship therapist, I highly recommend this read as a way for partners to better understand each other, and to revive the sparks they once felt.

Great book, I recommend it to anyone, even if you don't "need" to read it.
Written in a very nice, Sex-and-the-City-like, style. Explains a lot of things in a way you probably haven't thought of them before. Makes you think about yourself, your desire, your relashionship and how you may be damaging it.

This book is excitingly written...gives the reader many wonderful and useful tips at stepping up relationships to the place you have always wanted to achieve. Highly recommended.

This is an excelent book, despite that it doesn't give you practices or advices to solve the problem as I thought in the fist place, but it gives you a new perspective of a problem very common and it makes you realise your problems and mistakes. Each person can make a conclusion from this book and make important changes in their life. It's very good.

Perel's message is that good intimacy doesn't necessarily lead to good sex. In fact, closeness can dull our sexual appetites if we abandon the need for excitement and adventure in the need for predictability, comfort, and safety. So the dilemma is (in her terms) how do we put the X back in sex?

I love that she doesn't offer us easy how-tos. She tackles the complexities of sexual desire as an art rather than a series of steps you can count and measure. As she relates stories from the partnerships she's encountered in her two decades as a therapist, she makes it evident that great sex is about much more than just frequency of intercourse--it incorporates all the emotional joy and angst that go into living together: honesty and deception, affairs, commitment, arguments, overwork, excitement, mythbusting, parenthood. Perel suggests we each create a secret garden where we can enjoy our unique erotic blooming. Reading this brilliant, graceful book will help you cultivate your garden.

The Return of Desire: A Guide to Rediscovering Your Sexual Passion

I bought this book as a gift for my 9 year old grandson. His mom recommended it to me, and I bought it. I only glanced through it before mailing it to him in England. I cannot comment further on the editorial content. The outside appearance of the book was pleasing. The small size will make it easy to hold in a small hand. My grandson told me just the other day that he had started reading it, and had some questions. I referred him to his parents.

I recently purchased this book to go through with my 10 year old son. I have been so pleased with the dialoge provided in the book! It asks the questions kids really have and helps us parents give answers based on scripture! This book is a wonderful tool for using with your children as you talk frankly about sex and the consequences of going against what the bible teaches. I have already recommended this book to family members with children 8 to 11.

Even though my son is 10 years old now I have decided to go back and purchase the two previous books to this one to go through with him. They certainly couldn't hurt!!!!

There are two books prior to "What's the Big Deal" and we have used these wonderfully illustrated books with all three of our children. We followed the age suggestion and found that the subject matter was presented in a very natural and positive way. The main reason these books are such a blessing is that we need to tell our precious and innocent children the truth so that they are prepared mentally and emotionally when the "lies" inevitably come their way. Don't wait! Your child needs this healthy information.

If you're nervous about telling your child the "facts of life", this book will save you. It goes over all the stuff you might forget and like the book, I highly recommend reading it out loud with your child. Note: it has "parents" parts and "kids" parts broken down like a script/question-answer style; but it's not cheesie.

This book saved my marriage. Everything that I had been trying to say for years was finally said by an expert and not me. My spouse was able to read and understand through the book and he was not able to argue about what the book said, like he would have done had it been only me saying those things. I also learned a lot about my own destructive habits (lying was one of my big ones... "Are you mad?" "No, I'm not mad, everything is ok" when in fact it wasn't).

My suggestion is that you read it together, or have one person start reading it and writing comments into the book as you recognize yourselves in it. Then when the other partner starts to read it they too should write comments into the book as well. Later you should both go through it together to read the added comments and use those as talking points.

I also feel that if your marriage is in really bad shape that you read this book first because you HAVE to stop the "love bank withdrawals"... they are causing your marriage to go bankrupt. Once you have a handle on your withdrawals then your deposits (His Needs Her Needs) will finally be able to accumulate to the point of causing positive change. You can make as many deposits as you like, but everyone knows from life even that if you don't control your withdrawals that you can easily overdraft your account.

If you are struggling in your marriage, READ THIS BOOK!

This book is written so it is very easy to understand,no overload of hard to understand words. It has great ideas and solutions for marital problems. You will find much help in it. I can't wait to read HIS NEEDS, HER NEEDS: BUILDING AN AFFAIR PROOF MARRIAGE.
I can highly recommend this book!

Extremely practical guide to save a troubled marriage. Well worth the read and thoroughly recommend - even for the sake of improving your marriage.

After 8yrs of dating and 4yrs of marriage, our relationship had become...well, boring. Our date nights, if we had them, were typical dinner and a movie. Something was definitely missing. A church marriage counsellor recommended this book along with The 5 Love Languages. It is a must read for BOTH spouses. Do not expect results with only one partner reading and/or applying it!

If you are thinking about buying this book or any other relationship book - do not delay! Dr. Harley's books (including His Needs, Her Needs) have been very helpful to my marriage following a crisis. He makes excellent points that somehow seem to reach both of us and explains things in a way that both of us understand without either one feeling hurt or attacked. It is a terrific book, and I believe anyone who reads it and adopts it in their marriage will see improvement.

This author is amazing. His insight from back in the 30's- 50's is really incredible.
A perceptive and great writer. I enjoy his work. This book is very special because it the first one I read of his. I've given this book to many friends.
Highly recommended.

This book was very impressive and I learned a lot about the subject of love and myself. It would be nice if every couple who are deciding to get married would read this book. If they did, perhaps they would understand going in that there is a lot more to it than 'what is in it for me.' Perhaps the sad divorce rate in our country would dissipate some extent. This book belongs on the top shelf with the other books I consider master works. I plan on reading the rest of Fromm's works.

I read Erich Fromm's book many years ago, when I was in college in the late 60s/early 70s. It subtantially changed the way I viewed the world and to today influences what I believe and do.

I just bought a copy of the volume for my daughter who is working her way into adulthood, on the hope that it can help her the way it helped me.

I don't think there is any other work I have recommended to others more in my life and I recommend it to you. It is a short, wise book.

William J. Trinkle----

Fromm makes it clear that love is not some cheap sentiment that we receive or that we become "loveable" to earn love. He makes it clear that no easy cliches will teach us the art of loving. In other words, this is no self-help book packaging easy-to-swallow bromides about love. Rather, Fromm argues we must first eradicate our illogical and inaccurate notions of love in modern society and see that love is not an "object" but a "faculty," a way of being that requires complete transformation of the whole personality. Once he establishes that being loving is a rare achievement, he establishes the theory and practice of love. The theory is rooted in a tragic view of humans, namely, we are lonely and separate and this separateness can only be overcome by love, which requires discipline and patience and of course practice. This small gem of a book has survived and will survive because even though the answers are not easy they are true and universal. An excellent companion to this masterpiece is Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning.

"Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one's capacity to love. Hence the problem to them is how to be loved, not how to love." -Eric Fromm, The Art of Loving

I picked up this book by chance at the Miami Dade County Book Fair. I had heard of Fromm briefly in my psychology class, and thought this little book (the actual text not more than 130 pages) would be a great companion to another book I picked up on love in Shakespeare's plays. Judging by his background psychology, I prepared myself for The Art of Loving to turn out like many other psychoanalytic books tend to be: a small book that would take an unimaginable amount of time to read. However, it was quite the contrary; what I encountered in this small book was an eye-opening experienced that made me aware of both my accomplishments and my failures in life. I found myself reading the book from cover to cover, flipping it over and starting again.

As I read (and reread) the book felt like Fromm was talking directly to me, as if he and I were sitting down and having an in-depth conversation on love's role in my life. Fromm touches on all forms of love from parental love, to brotherly (neighborly) love, to erotic love, to love of God, and to self love, which he specifically explains is very different from narcissism. He speaks of the problem in the Western world's concept of love as a temporary gratification and a purely selfish act and discusses how to rectify it by attempting to invert what is seen and practiced in the world by learning to live in love, hinging it on the art of giving of oneself.

However, do not expect, as Fromm states in the first section of this book, that you will find a step by step guide on `how to love'. This book is more of an awareness of what love is and how humanity does not love. It very much reveals yourself to yourself, and shows you how love is verb not a noun (thus an art and not a name). It is something you have to do constantly, not wait for it to come to you. As Fromm says, "What are the necessary steps in learning any art? One, mastery of the theory; two, mastery of the practice." For Fromm love is the answer to human existence and one must first learn to love oneself before he can attempt to love others. It is a self-changing experience.

I love love love love love love love this book. It arrived in excellnt condition as well.

I purchased this on recommendation of a friend. I found it very informative but a lot of points that were made in the book are common sense. I guess if you are thinking about this lifestyle, it is a good guide to help you put your thoughts and feeling in order.

You have to wonder why so many negative reviews people find helpful about this book. Being a bit in the lifestyle my wife and I were encouraged to read this book.. I have to agree with a lot of the negative reviews.

The author comes across as a narcissistic teenager looking for rationalizations on why it is good to put sexual gratification above other peoples feelings. This is not for someone in a loving relationship looking to experiment with alternate life styles. According to the author if it gets in the way of your orgasm then you walk right over it. Relationships and communication on how to work things out in a realtionship be damned.

I think maybe if you were single and wanted a way to justify why its ok to play the field, then this book is for you. If you are really curious about the lifestyle, and are in a relationship then I recommend looking elsewhere.

This is a great book. I couldn't help but relate it to some stories I've been reading on Literotica dot com by an author who writes under the name "Romantic1". His stories as well as this book down play the difficulties of dealing with the rest of society when you adopt a polyamorous life style. What you end up doing is picking your friends as ones sympathetic to your life style not necessarily those that will help you grow and evolve in new dimensions. Reminds me too of the book Open Marriage by George and Nena O'Neill back in the early 1970s. Changes in this direction can't happen fast enough to suit me!

I read this book, not really sure what I was going to get out of it. I'm not in a "poly" relationship (or even really interested in one) but I wanted to get insight into how other relationships function and how other couples interact. Particularly, how sexuality and love play a role in couples who have an open-relationship. Since it seems relevant to the other reviewers - I'll disclose that I'm a straight male in my mid-twenties in a relationship.

A lot of the other reviews of this book seem to focus in on the authors narcissistic view of their relationship and the lesbian-centric aspect of the book. While I found both of those characteristics to be true, they're easy to read past and get to the real dirt of the book: that the modern concept of love, relationships and morality stems from a Beninger model of control - Western society depended on coupling and monogamy to control spread of disease, foster better child rearing, and so on. Ethics and morality that demanded monogamy were the lever used to control behavior and create societal constraints. Dossie and Easton throw this out and argue that society no longer needs this control and we can adjust our relationships (and ideas about ethics - i.e. slut) accordingly.

Their practical advice, I hope, should be pretty obvious: be honest, be open, recognize and avoid jealousy, be rational, maintain constraints and give respect when due. None of their advice is really unique to polyamorous relationships and seems pretty universal among any type of relationship. I was unable to really ascertain any information about what makes polyamorous relationships any different from normal ones other than that you have to work extra hard.

This book should be a quick read - if you cut out the personal anecdotes and parts where they pat themselves on the back (there are lots of those), you can crank through the book in probably about 30-45 minutes.

The only thing I felt I was really able to extract from this book was Dossie and Easton's unique philosophical view about the historical context of monogamy and a more post-modern view of sexuality. After about chapter three, I didn't get much out of the book - it all seems quite obvious and is written with a moderately offensive tone of superiority.