Sex Relationships Books

We all have busy lives and tend not to broach those important topics very often that deepen our marriages. This book lays out times to build or develop marriage skills and just enjoy one another in a nonthreatening atmosphere. These marriage building times are connected to dating so that makes it even more fun.

There are some really wonderful ideas in this book -- although, in all honesty, some are rather ordinary. Take what is meaningful to you and put it into practice. My wife and I still "date" after 17 years together.

If you are looking for more creative dates I'd recommend you check out 300creativedates. com -- I came across the site and the material was outstanding.

We were looking at new things to do in our marriage to make it a little stronger and just some new ideas. We got this book from our church who offered free child care while we had to read from the book and do that date every week. IT WAS GREAT! Me and my husband enjoyed reading from the book and it has been FUN! SOo if you would like to help the communication and get date ideas then this is the book for you!!! It talks about improving and/or keeping your marriage alive - it focus on communication but also touches on if you have kids, working, and finding time for your marriage. Overall i would reccommend it to any married couple!

Don't buy this book as a gift, unless you want to tell the recipients their marriage is on the rocks.

I got this book as a present for my sister-in-law and her husband, thinking it would be a lighthearted list of FUN ideas for things to do in their new free time. Wrong-o.

This book might be excellent for couples who are really, really fixated with their relationship, but for couples who just want to enjoy each other's company ... keep looking!

My husband and I have gone thru this book twice. It's so easy to read and fun to put into effect. Who ever said you couldn't have romance AND marriage!?

"While nothing prepares us for what marriage is going to be like, the same can be said of divorce with children." ~ Joshua Coleman

How do you let go of your fairy-tale idea of marriage, maintain harmony and also take care of your children in a nurturing environment...when you no longer feel "in love" with your partner? This brings out a variety of complex issues that create waves of emotional response even for those who have yet to consider their options. When you decide to enter into a long-term relationship, you may not be aware of the challenges ahead.

"..the heady phase of newfound romance doesn't last, and that's often a disappointment, no matter how seasoned we are in relationships. It's disheartening because it means that we have to either break up or start dealing with our expectations of what a real relationship is going to be like with this person. This means moving into the uncomfortable realm of facing the imperfections of our partner and ourselves."

In the throws of initial infatuation and limerence, the future seems perfectly ordered and you can't imagine ever wanting to be apart from the person you imagine is your soul mate. Then the chemicals wear off and you start to experience the roller coaster ride of marriage that has highs and lows and various stages where we enter challenges that require personal growth. This is the time where either your heart takes over or your mind kicks into high gear and you start to solve problems with creative flair or a determination to save your marriage "no matter what."

Joshua Coleman provides a wise and compassionate view of marriage. He understands the dangers the dissolution of the family presents. He understands how parents worry about their children when they are away from home and why providing a caring and nurturing environment is better for the long-term emotional stability of children. As parents move through stages of denial, anger and bargaining they may come to a moment of acceptance and then find the required compassion to forgive and then move forward into a new stage of the relationship.

If you think your childhood is affecting your marriage, there is an entire chapter on the subject. Being neglected as a child is just as painful as being abused and the affects can later appear in your own marriage. This book sheds light on how the neglect or abuse causes you to react in your own marriage and how this can affect your children. With each problem, there is also a solution. The "Path for Change" sections give ideas for how to adapt or reverse situations that are completely in your control. This book will also help you understand why criticism can seem to be an act of betrayal or why self-destructive behaviors can be an attempt to manage fear. This chapter is especially interesting as it explains problems in a marriage from a perspective I had never considered.

"If your parent was depressed or neglectful, there might have been a reversal of roles. Rather than having the experience of being taken care of, you may have had to take care of your parent." ~Joshua Coleman

Imperfect Harmony is a book for anyone who is married, whether they have children or are considering starting a family. Even if you never intend to have children, but you are considering a divorce, this book could explain the real reasons your relationship is falling apart and there may be time to save your marriage. If you are depressed, this book also shows that when you are in a difficult relationship, it can affect your self-esteem. Anxiety, social withdrawal, sleep problems and decreased pleasure are only some of the effects discussed in this brilliant and enlightening book.

What can you do when your partner is depressed?
How do you deal with your own needs in a marriage?
What do you do when a partner withdraws sexually? (The humorous "Eleven Strategies to Guarantee a Bad Sex Life" is rather revealing and gives ideas for change.)
How do you avoid having an affair when your needs are not being met?
What should you do when a partner is verbally abusive?
How can you reduce conflict?

The "Eleven Ways to Work on Yourself" is a good way to balance out your life and create new priorities. The "Different Kinds of Marriage" encourage you to accept the stage your marriage is currently in or is heading towards.

Joshua Coleman presents creative ways to save your marriage that include everything from an "in-house separation" to "planning to separate after the kids are grown."

This is a must-read manual for marriage. This book will give hope to anyone who is married and feels that they are struggling to save a marriage alone. It will also provide a much-needed escape into "someone understands." With this book, you may truly be able to save your marriage and create a situation where you feel comfortable and secure. In this environment, you can then face all the additional challenges of raising children and balancing your career, emotional needs and spiritual goals.

For many, divorce is not an option and this book helps anyone in a situation where they are determined to stay married. Too often people casually advise walking away from a marriage, when truly a marriage is a learning experience and one of the most challenging experiences of your life. They don't seem to understand what you are fighting for and for some people, their marriage is extremely important and not something they casually entered into without consideration.

It is very satisfying to see an author take on this subject and make "staying married" very possible. This book will empower women who want to stay married! It is also a book that will give you deeper insight into the issues facing everyone who is married. We are all on a journey towards balance in our lives and this book is an excellent guide to balancing your needs with the needs of your children.

~The Rebecca Review
10 years and counting...

We have been married for twenty-seven years. Although our children are no longer at home, my husband and I were inspired by Dr. Coleman's book. We thought an alternative title could have been "How to Have a Satisfying Marriage". He recommends taking responsibility for one's own life and not looking to a partner for completion. Although a great read, Dr. Coleman's scholarly work draws on the research of anthropologists, psychologists and scientists. This is a book for all those who wish to be fulfilled in their own lives. We give this book two thumbs up!

In a sea of glib, peppy books that promise to transform a messy marriage into a fairy-tale romance in six (or seven or nine) easy steps, Imperfect Harmony is a bastion of practicality, sanity, and hope. No bogus promises here. If you want to stay together for your kids or just want to have a happier marriage, this smart, no-hype volume gives you a detailed roadmap for navigating your way through complex relationship issues.

Author Joshua Coleman never sugar-coats or flinches from the less-than-glamorous truth. He furnishes a toolbox of practical suggestions and exercises that can help you improve and sweeten your marriage. Real-life examples, drawn from Coleman's psychotherapy practice, illustrate in unvarnished detail exactly how couples can work to resolve specific issues. The outcomes may not always be sprinkled with self-help pixie dust, but they work in the real world.

Imperfect Harmony is radical in its perspective, compassionate in its tone, and rare in its honesty. Its no-bull quality is refreshing and somehow reassuring. This is a generous book, and the author seems to genuinely care about his readers. If you're looking for a quick fix (hey, let me know if you find one) or don't want to work on your marriage, this book isn't for you. But if you want to build a more loving, lasting relationship, this book could make all the difference.

Dr. Coleman's work is surely to raise an eyebrow or two for its novel approach to resolving marital discord and dissatisfaction. His premise that the adults in the relationship should work for a rapproachment (if total peace is not possible) for the sake of the children will not be popular in a culture where no-fault divorce is the preferred solution.

What I love about this book is the way Dr. Coleman approaches marriage; realistically. You may have started out with what you felt was a "match made in heaven," or you may have been under an illusion that yours was a match made in heaven, but when things look like they are going south, this does not mean you bail.

Can you accept half a loaf (half a loaf is better than none)? How about a quarter or even an eighth of a loaf to ensure that your child's life is disrupted as little as possible? After all, it is all about the kids.

This book has a number of vignettes where Dr. Coleman is working with clients to change their expectations, or at the least help them to establish realistic expectations. He even goes so far to instruct partners how to live separate lives within their own home if getting along is no longer an option.

Imperfect Harmony takes a look at marriage unlike any book I have ever read on the subject. Sometimes things happen and things don't work out, but this is not to mean that everyone (especially the children) cannot live happily ever after.

If your marriage is in trouble, if you know someone with marital problems, or if you are interested in the topic of marriage as a counseling profession, this is a wonderful book to have. As a soon-to-be counselor I can actually envision myself using this book in couples and family therapy; assigning parts of the book for the clients to read for discussion in therapy.

Five plus stars for Imperfect Harmony.

As a pastor, I have read many books on the subject of helping marriages because that is an important part of my ministry. However, this is the most radical, realistic and useful book I have ever seen. It is applicable not only to the average marriage but also to the more challenging ones like depression, personality disorders, alcoholism, and addictions.

I am very disappointed with many Christian authors of books on marriage who are so unreal and with many authors of books for family members of the mentally ill who don't say enough. Here is a book I can use in counseling others

After 10 years of marriage, a man's wife was diagnosed as a high functioning person with borderline personality disorder. Afterwards, she did not function on the same level as before.

For three and a half years, her husband did about everything Dr. Coleman says not to do in his chapter on depression in marriage. As a result, he ended up depressed himself after giving too much of himself away trying to hold the family together.

With the help of therapists and reading books like Imperfect Harmony, Wild at Heart, and No More Mr. Nice Guy, he found help to grow a long way from where he was a year and a half ago.

Marriage to anyone with a mental illness or addiction is under extreme pressure. Staying married for the children's sake and still be happy or wondering if you should stay married in such an imperfect harmony is the theme of this book.

Coleman writes of the various parts of a hoped for marriage that must be let go of. He writes about getting your focus off the spouse and onto what in your childhood attracted you to such a needy person. The author's definition of "toxic chemistry" is a helpful insight.

He challenges readers to work through their toxic brooding, despair, and chronic feelings of resentment. Then we can develop empathy and emotional seperatedness.

It is crucial to answer his question from chapter 3. How much meaning do you have in your life apart from your marriage?

Contrary to many other authors, he says that communication is not enough. Just because one has imperfect harmony in one's marriage does not mean you should leave.

He proposes good reasons for staying married with children present, even if your spouse is difficult or not fulfilling. Staying in such a marriage need not destroy you to be loved by them. However, he honestly states that in the case of physical abuse and extreme mental health issues the need to leave is very clear.

The major intent of this book is to help readers to see if it possible and necessary to stay in an imperfect harmony with one?s spouse without loosing themselves or their good impact as parents. His chapters on "Depression in Marriage", "The High-Conflict Marriage," and "Is Change Possible" are worth the price of the whole book.

One cannot and must not read this book at supersonic speed. It is a rich book to read, reflect upon, and dwell upon its searching questions. Reading it in conjunction with one's therapist will bring you the most benefits from this book.

Thank you Dr. Coleman for writing this book. I hope seminaries use your book in their marriage and family counseling courses for future pastors.

I Love the Questions in this book but There is not room for me or my boyfriend to write in it. Better if you have a extra notebook to put the question on so you and your parter or you will have plenty of room.

This is a great book and really helped my fiance and I get closer by going over the questions in the book.

Great book for all couples or single people that are looking for a meaningful relationship while taking an honest look at themselves first.

Recommended it to my college age daughter since she is dating. Wished I had read this book many, many moons ago. Will keep this book as a reference book and/or suggested reading material for my future counseling clients.

Good, fun, interesting questions to discuss with your significant other. Questions give good insight into how the other person is feeling and what their goals are. Brings better understanding to each other. Brings out those areas where you need to work things out. Asks questions that you normally wouldn't think of this early in the relationship but which are important down the road when you are building your life and family together.

I think the idea is there-- but honestly, if you haven't already asked yourself (and your partner) most of these questions, chances are you shouldn't be getting married. For my fiance and I, this book was a bit of a joke. We read through it together and were actually able to answer FOR each other. I don't think that was the point-- but I applaud Donaldson for encouraging couples to get to KNOW each other before tying the knot.

Ms Buth takes a brave stab at a tricky subject. My dad bought it to try to explain sex to my sister and me but handed his copy to me saying that confident talk was no substitute for reading it for myself. ... Still, it strikes me as a sound treatment and a useful guide.

As a Pastor of Children's Ministries, I frequently give away or recommend books from this series. The series provides parents with information and a strategy for presenting the material to their children. Use the recommendations as a suggestion - your child may need to hear the content sooner, depending on the exposure he/she has had from peers or others.

Ms Buth takes a brave stab at a tricky subject. My dad bought it to try to explain sex to my sister and me but handed his copy to me saying that confident talk was no substitute for reading it for myself. I guess he must have forgotten about they crude and obscene margin doodlings he made. Still, it strikes me as a sound treatment and a useful guide.

A unique book that contains great principles and insights into building strong relationships... It is well worth the read.

Such a smart book! Marriage counselors married to each other, Maurice and Seanna are two unique people who have managed to craft a solid, lively relationship for themselves without giving up their individuality. In The New Couple they pass on their experience, strength, and hope to their clients and readers in an interesting and entertaining way. The material is beautifully organized into ten "new laws of love" that make wonderful sense. The book is intellectually compelling and emotionally sensitive...almost too much to ask of any book. (I could not get through the Mars/Venus stuff.)

I found The New Couple so upbeat and full of good advice that I attended a workshop presented by the authors. I left their presence feeling that a relationship is possible, and I've started dating again after ten years of terror at the prospect of repeating my past mistakes. This is nothing short of magic! Read this book, you won't regret it.

I am an avid but sceptical reader of relationship / couple books but it's hard to find anything to criticise in this one. I purchased this book when I decided I needed to clarify exactly what I wanted and needed in a relationship and it has literally become my relationship "bible".

If you want a very clear, simple and complete map for the route to a healthy relationship with both yourself (most important!) and a partner then click purchase now. It could just be the book that should be mandatorily handed to all people considering starting a relationship.

I was having problems with my husband and this book saved our marriage. The rules they present are so simple and clear. They make sense for today's relationships. I recommend this book for every single person and couple. Priceless!!!

Among relationship self-help books, this is one of the better titles of the moment. Taylor and McGee write in a breezy style and sow their text with a large number of example couples, which make their story readable if uninspired. Their forte, however, is the comprehensiveness of their list of rules and the reassuring common sense they must have used in developing them. While none of the rules are new and different individually, listing them in this comprehensive fashion is useful, and makes this book stand out as one of the better examples of the genre.

Joe Quirk dances away from all the problems with self-help books, embraces the good parts of science books, and blends in his own character. The result is a hilarious ride through science with lots of "give me pause" and "change my perspective" that self-help books try to deliver and science books never seem to bother with.
My favorite part was the "aquatic ape" theory.
The best line in the book, Pg 138 "...in order to orgasm, some women need to concentrate, and some men, to put off orgasm, need to think about something else. My method is to list each Yankee baseball player's batting average. The second a man thinks about what he's actually doing, it's over. So the only way a man can enjoy sex is to not think about what he's doing. Can you blame us if we extend this strategy to relationships?"

A fun and funny spin on evolutionary biology. Sex: a serious topic at its silliest. Good reading, full of clever lines and information perfect for sharing at cocktail parties.

It is not often that you find a book that informs as well as amuses. This is for everything they left out of sex-ed when you were a kid.

I teach a college-level seminar for science-phobes using popular science literature. Of all the books I have ever used, on any topic, this was the hands-down favorite. The seminar was titled Sex, Gender and Love: A Biological View, and this book covered the love part -- haha. I read it alternately being annoyed at the corny (but devilishly clever) jokes and laughing out loud in spite of myself. Most of all, though, I was impressed by the research that went into each of the chapters and the way Quirk made all our human sexual foibles explicable and hilarious -- nothing better than laughing at ourselves since we're stuck with us! Thanks!

The best book on sexual evolutionary biology. Why both men and women seem to be on different planets. Hm... is there a catchier title?
Perhaps, but not a better book.

Unfortunately, despite his extensive bibliography, Joe Quirk (What the blazes kind of name is that for a scientific researcher? ) does not have a Phd. Neither is he buddies with Oprah, so I doubt this will top the besteller list.

Never mind. I've suffered through many academese imbued evolutionary snoozefests texts. This one will keep you wide awake, I promise.

What Quirk has is brilliance, and (gasp!) an ability to write. He must have had some alpha ancestors during the pleistocene era that could spin some awesome tales by the campfire.

Among The Table of Contents we find such gems as:

Chapter 9: The Jerk Gene
Chapter 12: Why Women are Coy, Men Clueless
Chapter 26: Free Love Causes War

And, for a smaple paragraph:

" Men are attracted to nubility and health. Women are attracted to nobility and wealth. Both want intelligence, kindness, and opulence.
Both want a good sense of humor. They'll need it. "


As will the reader.
An easy 5 stars.

In dealing with others we always find ourselves blaming everyone else for our state of being/happiness. This book if used for those times of confusion, can help guide us to understanding the true relationship can only be about our "selves". Hold this book to your heart and ask your soul, your gut or whatever you choose to call it, to bring you to the page that will provide you with the best solution to understanding self. Over a period of time you will find your ego softening and your heart expanding. In knowing "self" we can finally be in place where all of our relationships are nuturing and loving.

This book is divided into brief page-size daily bits of advice regarding a positive outlook on life and relationships. I have personally found it to be a very perceptive and emotionally supportive book. If I could give it more than five stars I would. If you're having problems with your current relationship or simply want to make a good one even better, I highly recommend this book.

I checked this out from the library and am having trouble even thinking about having to return it. This book is full of good insights and advice on ways to change your thinking about your role in your relationships. A lot of the advice or principles remind me of things I've read from "A Course In Miracles."

Divided into 366 lessons one per page, it's set up to be used as a daily devotional type book, and you will also benefit from picking it up and randomly reading wherever you land. You get a lesson, a blurb explaining the lesson and a bottom paragraph about how to incorporate this advice/ knowledge into your life today. I love that each lesson is short and straight to the point. You don't have to read several pages on a subject to get the meaning.

I am so impressed with this book that I've gotta get my own!

This book is well thought out and explained. There are 366 passages, with a title/lesson and a through explanation following to incorporate that lesson. Each is given one full page (an extra for the lucky leap year.) The author's writing is spiritual in nature and full of much wisdom. You do not have to read this book front to back but open it to anywhere, to read just one lesson for the day.

Obviously this book is way over the previous reviewers head. Heck this is a simple book with much wisdom but, you must be willing to do some self reflecting and have accountability for your actions, to make the magic of these words happen! If you do not have the patience to look within, then don't buy this book.

I'd like to address what the other reviewer ('bunnyrabbit4') found so ridicules and I find so wise. This is paraphrasing of the authors intent. Principle #168, "If I'm attracted to someone then I have a gift for them." This means when we feel a certain pull towards another we have something to offer them. There is a reason why we feel a pull towards some and not towards others. The author explains that we should not enter into a relationship with the attitude of what can I get out of it. This is not about constantly doing for another or to just keep on giving to try and win approval, God no... but being the gift without expectations attached. The gift comes from our soul. #169 "If I give up being right, I'll be happy" We are so caught up in being right that we close ourselves off and block all else out. Wanting to be right at any expense comes from an inflated ego. We would rather argue to be right, then to be happy and have love in our hearts. We don't have to win every disagreement; we need to pick our battles carefully. This is a powerful one for me and one that I hope to master some day.
The one most disliked by previous reviewer is principal #92 ..good ol' 92 about anger... We must be accountable for our own feelings. Our anger is an attempt to project on to another our own feelings, and pretend the very thing we are angry about has nothing to do with us. This is about being accountable. All anger is an imbalance in our own nature. We choose how we react to situations. A person can insult you and you can become enraged and blame your whole rotten day on them or, you can consider the source and even have pity on then. Why, because all anger is a reflection of how we treat ourselves. *Some of the titles of the lessons may not be so clear to some people but, the authors message is insightful and right on track.

Also this book is great for a single person contrasting what another reviewer said. Heal yourself before you enter your next relationship, to attract a more healthy future partnership. Restated do not buy this book if you are trying to change someone else; it is only for those that are willing to look within. Hope this helps.

Anyone who has had the great fortune to attend at a seminar with Chuck Spezzano knows that the daily principles in this book can be transformational. They are lessons which I try to live by. They are reminders that I have the power to make profound changes in my life and that all changes are my choice. They are lessons to remind me that I am not a victim of circumstance but have the ability to move past my issues and be happier and healthier. This book is essential for me to stay on my spiritual path and I keep it close by. I think Chuck Spezzano is a brilliant man who has searched his own soul and now chooses to share it with us.

I purchased this book for a friend who's in a commmitted relationship heading down the marriage path. The questions are really just things to start a couple talking about issues that are most important when you try to combine two lives and raise a family together. I liked this book because it covered the largest spectrum of issues.

This book is very repetitive. It presents interesting cases that become boring when explored over and over again. If your spouse turns out to be homosexual, a support group would be much more helpful than this book.

This book was helpful, but the Author is 'teaching' junk science, so I am only giving it two stars.

The fact is that there is NO Gay Gene, and Greever has swallowed a lot of politcal disinformation spread by PFLAG and teaching it to women who are buying into misinformation about genetic structures as a way to salve their own conscious or as a way to fend off outsiders who tell them iit is their fault that their husband is 'now' gay.

The fact is that it isn't their fault at all, so why accept 'junk' science as a way of coping. Would they 'modify' their eating behavior and change their diet's if their DNA included predispositions to cancer or diabetes? Of course they would, or most people would try to modify their dietary behavior if they had family who had those medical conditions.

Greever doesn't seem to be able to make the leap that DNA can show predispositions to a disease, and therefore can be modified. Gay is no different from other predispositions to any disease. Why is she even accepting PFLAGs assertion that Gay cannot be modified, when other genes can be modified? She has accepted their politicaal agenda without even looking at the entire science behind DNA.

Frankly, the Gay Gene is a myth, and scientists agree that the DNA structure cannot be 'replicated', ergo there is no gay gene.

Fact: She emphasizes, that gays were _not_ _recruited_, that is also disinformation, based on the fact that in the early 1970's when the DSM struck Homosexuality from their Diagnostic book, they recruited people by telling them that 'everyone' is Gay, everyone has a tendency towards being Gay, and that is a natural thing, clearing the way for homosexuals to recruuit young boys and girls into that lifestyle.

I am not overly religious, but I do know that there isn't a Gay Gene, and if there was, behavior can be modified, just like diets for predispositions to other medical problems, can be modified.

Ohter than that the book is supportive of spouses who are dealing with a marriage that isn't working. I think it would be best to say that, you either accept that your husband or wife is gay and move on or stay.

I bought this book because my husband has decided he's gay. Because we first had a friendship many years ago, then we turned on the romance, we are surviving through this situation still living together, with our children. We are giving ourselves a time of transition to work it out. The kids are too young to hear the circumstances so they don't even suspect. But, I had so many questions in regards to how to handle this, not necessarily why is he gay. But, the book helped me to confirm that I definitely can't change his orientation, he and I had both thought for a moment, that it could be prayed out of him, but alas, no, and we are Christians and really love the Lord. Just hearing about other women's situations is a help in transcending your own troubles. You almost feel that you are sitting present listening to support groups talk about their challenges with the husband coming out. I feel that my husband and I have definitely taken the high road in transitioning to an eventual separation. We plan on staying very involved as a "family", and I hope is at some point in the distant future, to meet a man whom I can share a complete relationship with. My husband is an amazing person and father and I always want him in my life, in our children's lives. It hurts so much now to be working through this, the tears keep coming, my husband and I continue to have discussions about handling the future for our "family". Carol's book is very comforting, focuses on keeping you healthy, bringing you to a place of peace, as the straight spouse, as you work through your issues. There is no workbook, but I definitely was calmed and helped to keep on track to love my husband now as still a best friend, person, and father, and myself, too, so that life can move forward for me positively and healthfully. Her last section on steps to take to "get through this situation" are of peace and of love, which when acted out by anyone, in my heart I know, is the best way. I know my husband hurts because this incredible situation hurts me and will affect our "beautiful" family as it is. Carol helped me work through my anger. I'd sit down to read the book when feeling, mad, angry and confused, and stop reading at a point, then feeling hopeful, more at peace and brought back to a path of love and health for which to lead my actions for both myself and towards my husband, which of course is a definite benefit for our children, whom we adore above all. Her words to regard him as a valuable person, etc. were encouraging.
All the best, this book will help you on your way, in a situation which of course is devastating to anyone.

It can only be a good thing that this book provides positive support for women who suddenly find themselves in a marriage that is not what they thought. After all, spousal compatability is the most important aspect of a lasting marriage. It does seem remarkable to me, though, that in 30 years of "mostly happy" marriage, the author never realised her husband was gay. Surely the marriage's general long-term happiness should have the author questioning her own status, vis-a-vis the whole gay issue? Different personality types and their relative compatibility are usually issues that are sorted out in the pre-marriage courting stage, or at least in the early stages of marriage. For it to take 30 "mostly happy" years for the author to realise her objections to her husband's gaiety indicates the likelihood that she had actually changed over time. It's natural for some people to become more melancholic and morose as they get older, but it seems a bit unreasonable to be taking it out on your spouse!

While I have yet to find a good comprehensive book on this topic, this is the best I've read yet. Carol Grever treats the subject with compassion, and interweaves many personal stories that the reader can relate to. I also appreciated that, while it may be rare or tough for a mixed orientation marriage to stay together, it's not impossible and the book reflects that message.

Having been the spouse of a gay man for 20 years (and known of his orientation for 10), I know that it is not impossible to make a marriage work, though it takes some incredible strength on the parts of both the straight and gay spouses. My husband and I both appreciated this book's approach.