Sex Relationships Books

At first, I thought this book was meant to be funny...of some sorts...I don't know why...perhaps it's the title.

However, this book turned out to be very good and it's easy to read. I read it in one sitting. I did however go back and do the exercises. It's very thought provoking and full of self help information to get any woman to come into reality about what type of man she's been dating....

In addition, the book is very colorful. It's also not a large thick book, it fits into one of my Coach bags perfectly.

The author covers a variety of men and gives them "Mister" titles. She also gives you execises to complete so you can see the pattern you've established regarding the types of men you've dated over the years. Being able to see you pattern will eventually help you to not pick those types of men and move forward to finding man that is not perfect, but right for you.

It's a handy little self help read....

I am reading this book now and really like it so far. The communication style talked about in this book is very similar to what is learned at a Catholic Marriage Encounter retreat.

I would recommend this book for any engaged or newly married couple.

Rhonda
Omaha,NE

This book is so rich, I've had to read it piecemeal. In the Love & Logic series, I started with a special on PBS, then a parenting book, and then the grandparenting book. I can't recommend the whole series highly enough. In this book in particular, the authors take into account different learning styles and different operating styles. After 30 years of marriage, we went through a big transition when my husband went on the road full-time. No matter where you are in your marriage -- newly-wed, old-timers, or in between -- this book can be a valuable tool in tuning up a rough running engine and smoothing out the bumpiness of life.
Thank you, Foster & Hermie

Good principles, although very basic. Authors reinterate the same points for an entire chapter and the exercises they want you to do are more phony than super beneficial (in my opinion).

I am a marriage counselor and I find this book a practical tool to use for my own marriage as well as the couples I counsel. I have personally been able to attend a conference on Love and Logic with Mr. Fay and the humor as well as the valuable techniques are great.

It works! My girlfriend and I went to Barcelona for a vacation and I bought this coupon without notifying her. I showed her on our flight from New York and asked her to pick a page number. She picked one and we played the game. It was a wounderful vacation and you know what? She promised to marry me after the vacation! If you want to improve your relationship with your other halves, this is a good choice!

I mistakenly ordered the other Sexy Coupons ebooklet when I thought I was getting this one. The other one you can download and print off instantly which certainly has its advantages if you are looking for a quick gift. Honestly, the download version has better coupons overally.

But, if you want something that is already printed out to give as a gift I would recommend these coupons.

These were great coupons if you were white but if you were african american (like myself) they were of little use.

I showed the coupons to an african american female that I was involved with and she (rightfully so) was not impressed nor did she feel like the coupons applied to her.

It seems like they could have omitted the pictures of white couples on every coupon or at least added some other races so that they could be used and enjoyed by all.

I doubt if even a white woman would have appreciated such a coupon from an african american male when he wasn't represented in any of the pictures?

This is not about race, it is about the ability for "everyone" regardless of what color they are to enjoy giving and receiving the coupons.

I bought this book to learn more about women and how they look at sex in a relationship. This book does just that. It is very informative and written in a style that is like talking to a close friend. I read the first 200 pages at the first sitting and only stopped because I had to go to work.
I highly recommend this book to all guys that are trying to figure out what is going on in their womans head. I thought I knew a lot about women but have learned from this book I had a lot of misconceptions and misinformation. A very good and easy read.

"Please Dear, Not Tonight" rivals "Our Bodies, Ourselves" for providing thorough, no-nonsense, but far-from-aseptic sexual information. I see it competing with "The Feminine Mystique" for the number of women it will nudge to "take on" their perceptions of the way their sex lives and relationships have always been, continue to be, and the way they want them to be. A valuable and timely book.

Mary Jo Fay's "Please Dear, Not Tonight" is an entertaining and factual read on a subject near and dear to all of our hearts, SEX. But beyond bump and grind, it's a valuable guide for the day to day workings of a physical and emotional relationship. Very much a worthwhile addition to your home library.

One of "Please Dear's" best features is an easy and approachable style...along with the feeling that it's a little more on the edge than things are USUALLY around your hacienda. I had the same feeling, as I read "Please Dear", that I'd had thirty-five years ago reading "The Sensuous Woman/Man". The excitement of learning something new was there, and that's a powerful plus in a sex title. Mary Jo is a familial, informed and fun-loving guide for the ins and outs (pun definitely intended) of sex.

I highly recommend reading it...and sharing it with that special someone.

This book was a gift to me by my husband. My only regret is that I did not have it at age 20 instead of age 60. Kudos to Mary Jo Fay for speaking about activities of sex openly and honestly just as one would to prepare a gourmet meal or any other of the fine things we enjoy in life.

Mary Jo Fay did a great job of disspelling the myth that "sex is for the man and not for the woman". The book was written in plain , down to earth language that anyone could understand and I recommend that it would be a great asset in helping young women to learn to experience sex to its' fullest in their younger years vs. so many who don't "awaken" untill their 40's.

An added bonus is that Ms. Fay made a quick reference system very easy for men who want to know what women like without having to spend a lot of time reading the entire book. Mary Jo Fay provided many good suggestions for both men and women to enhance their sexual experiences and relationships. I believe this is an excellent guide new and continuing experiences.

Having grown up in the straight and narrow, family wise, religion, culture, etc., I have to admit I'm an uptight prude wanting to 'fly'. Well, Mary Jo's book has set me on my way! It was like getting permission to loosen up. This book is well written,very educational, and fun to read.

Normandy, Marsha and St. James, Joseph. "The Handjob Handbook: A Work of Non-Friction" with illustrations by Arlene Schunk, Simon Spotlight Books, 2008.

There is a Book for Everything

Amos Lassen

I always thought that handjobs were kind of instinctive. Most of us did not have to be taught how to give one,it just happened and I assure you that the only thoughts anyone might have had,
had to do with getting caught in action.
I, however, must give handjobs their due. They satisfy, they are quick and they are fun and practical. A handjob relieves tension and requires no primping or getting ready. However, the handjob has been forced to take a second seat to other sexual activates and Marsha Normandy and James St. Joseph, the authors of this little book, do not feel that is fair. They want handjobs in the place they so rightfully deserve¡at the head of the list of sexual activities. They claim that ¡"if a handjob is worth doing, it's worth doing well¨. The book provides twenty-five different techniques to make self-abuse more satisfying (and by the way, I am sure that the authors do not like the term self-abuse with its negative connotation). The book shows us how to be more creative and achieve more pleasure as we "spank the monkey" and "bleed the lizard". The book, quite naturally, begins with the basic handjob technique and then introduces us to such exercises as "the jiffy pop", "ants climbing up a hill", "the twist off". "taffy pull" and "taint misbehaving" among others. What a blessing it is to know that there are so many ways for a man to get off by himself (and the ways seem quite fun but I have only managed to try eight of them so far).
The book is a lot of fun and it abounds in wit and playful eroticism. Yet there is a danger here. As you read, you want to try it all and I am not that young anymore (but do I wish I were).
"The Handjob Handbook" can take you to new heights in pleasuring yourself. I understand that the book was written for women but so what? We can still learn from it and reap its rewards. Just imagine asking a friend if he would like to ¡§climb the rope¡¨ or ¡§squeeze play¡¨ with you.
We guys know that we are born with a special toy that is fun to see and touch. Some of us are masters at masturbation but there are those that can use some help. There is a talent involved in giving a good handjob and like in music, some have an ear for it and others are tone deaf. That does not mean that there is no hope. Again, like in music, practice makes perfect (or at least a little better anyway). And remember also that a handjob is always convenient and always safe.
If your technique needs work, may I suggest you "boning up" with "The Handjob Handbook". If you already mastered the skill, get a copy for the fun it provides.

This book is highly interesting, informative, organized and educational. The title says the book is a guide for parents, however, I found the book to be most rewarding as a Health Education major. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends should even get their hands on this book... you never know what questions may pop up about sex and relationships! The book's goal is to break the uneasiness, and sometimes embarassing or awkward moments of educating your children about life's issues. It was extremely easy to understand and very real to life. The authors themselves have their own family so they talk from their hearts as "real" parents. They cover everything from initiating converstion to sexual development and sexual orientation. The Mirons took great concern considering the different lifestyles, beliefs, and morals of each individual circumstance and family. The book has two sections called, "Try This" & "Just the Facts." They provide alternative ideas to aid in the education process and important statistics parents may not know. The book has very few faults and has better prepared me for when I start to teach. It has greatly boosted my confidence level and I am sure to hold onto the book both as a reference and as guidance. Take a look for yourself, I promise you that it will not be a waste of time!

Whenever the topic of talking about sex and sexuality with our children comes up, I share this title. The book is written for parents (or other adults). Of course it covers sex, but it does also talk about love and relationships and their connection to sex.

Four aspects of this book that are invaluable are:

* It's written to help each adult examine his/her own attitudes about each topic, and to understand those of their partner as well.

*It provides great language for explaining and discussing different aspects of intimacy, sexuality, love, and the like.

*It provides great communication advice that goes well beyond the topic at hand.

*The authors have provided poll data to help parents understand what aspects of sexual knowledge and attitudes have changed with this generation, research findings about STDs, pregnancy, abstinence education--you name it. They don't advocate a particular point of view but they arm the reader with information so that the reader is able to see past his/her own experiences as teens learning about sexuality, sex, and love.

Anyone with a child over age 8 should have this book and start reading it, because you're gonna need it much sooner than you think...

This book is very repetitive. It presents interesting cases that become boring when explored over and over again. If your spouse turns out to be homosexual, a support group would be much more helpful than this book.

This book was helpful, but the Author is 'teaching' junk science, so I am only giving it two stars.

The fact is that there is NO Gay Gene, and Greever has swallowed a lot of politcal disinformation spread by PFLAG and teaching it to women who are buying into misinformation about genetic structures as a way to salve their own conscious or as a way to fend off outsiders who tell them iit is their fault that their husband is 'now' gay.

The fact is that it isn't their fault at all, so why accept 'junk' science as a way of coping. Would they 'modify' their eating behavior and change their diet's if their DNA included predispositions to cancer or diabetes? Of course they would, or most people would try to modify their dietary behavior if they had family who had those medical conditions.

Greever doesn't seem to be able to make the leap that DNA can show predispositions to a disease, and therefore can be modified. Gay is no different from other predispositions to any disease. Why is she even accepting PFLAGs assertion that Gay cannot be modified, when other genes can be modified? She has accepted their politicaal agenda without even looking at the entire science behind DNA.

Frankly, the Gay Gene is a myth, and scientists agree that the DNA structure cannot be 'replicated', ergo there is no gay gene.

Fact: She emphasizes, that gays were _not_ _recruited_, that is also disinformation, based on the fact that in the early 1970's when the DSM struck Homosexuality from their Diagnostic book, they recruited people by telling them that 'everyone' is Gay, everyone has a tendency towards being Gay, and that is a natural thing, clearing the way for homosexuals to recruuit young boys and girls into that lifestyle.

I am not overly religious, but I do know that there isn't a Gay Gene, and if there was, behavior can be modified, just like diets for predispositions to other medical problems, can be modified.

Ohter than that the book is supportive of spouses who are dealing with a marriage that isn't working. I think it would be best to say that, you either accept that your husband or wife is gay and move on or stay.

I bought this book because my husband has decided he's gay. Because we first had a friendship many years ago, then we turned on the romance, we are surviving through this situation still living together, with our children. We are giving ourselves a time of transition to work it out. The kids are too young to hear the circumstances so they don't even suspect. But, I had so many questions in regards to how to handle this, not necessarily why is he gay. But, the book helped me to confirm that I definitely can't change his orientation, he and I had both thought for a moment, that it could be prayed out of him, but alas, no, and we are Christians and really love the Lord. Just hearing about other women's situations is a help in transcending your own troubles. You almost feel that you are sitting present listening to support groups talk about their challenges with the husband coming out. I feel that my husband and I have definitely taken the high road in transitioning to an eventual separation. We plan on staying very involved as a "family", and I hope is at some point in the distant future, to meet a man whom I can share a complete relationship with. My husband is an amazing person and father and I always want him in my life, in our children's lives. It hurts so much now to be working through this, the tears keep coming, my husband and I continue to have discussions about handling the future for our "family". Carol's book is very comforting, focuses on keeping you healthy, bringing you to a place of peace, as the straight spouse, as you work through your issues. There is no workbook, but I definitely was calmed and helped to keep on track to love my husband now as still a best friend, person, and father, and myself, too, so that life can move forward for me positively and healthfully. Her last section on steps to take to "get through this situation" are of peace and of love, which when acted out by anyone, in my heart I know, is the best way. I know my husband hurts because this incredible situation hurts me and will affect our "beautiful" family as it is. Carol helped me work through my anger. I'd sit down to read the book when feeling, mad, angry and confused, and stop reading at a point, then feeling hopeful, more at peace and brought back to a path of love and health for which to lead my actions for both myself and towards my husband, which of course is a definite benefit for our children, whom we adore above all. Her words to regard him as a valuable person, etc. were encouraging.
All the best, this book will help you on your way, in a situation which of course is devastating to anyone.

It can only be a good thing that this book provides positive support for women who suddenly find themselves in a marriage that is not what they thought. After all, spousal compatability is the most important aspect of a lasting marriage. It does seem remarkable to me, though, that in 30 years of "mostly happy" marriage, the author never realised her husband was gay. Surely the marriage's general long-term happiness should have the author questioning her own status, vis-a-vis the whole gay issue? Different personality types and their relative compatibility are usually issues that are sorted out in the pre-marriage courting stage, or at least in the early stages of marriage. For it to take 30 "mostly happy" years for the author to realise her objections to her husband's gaiety indicates the likelihood that she had actually changed over time. It's natural for some people to become more melancholic and morose as they get older, but it seems a bit unreasonable to be taking it out on your spouse!

While I have yet to find a good comprehensive book on this topic, this is the best I've read yet. Carol Grever treats the subject with compassion, and interweaves many personal stories that the reader can relate to. I also appreciated that, while it may be rare or tough for a mixed orientation marriage to stay together, it's not impossible and the book reflects that message.

Having been the spouse of a gay man for 20 years (and known of his orientation for 10), I know that it is not impossible to make a marriage work, though it takes some incredible strength on the parts of both the straight and gay spouses. My husband and I both appreciated this book's approach.

This is a good book on polyamory. As the title implies (though it might not seem that way at first) it's about managing the relationships of polyamory rather than about the sex side of things. Early on, the recommends The Ethical Slut if you're looking for the other. So be aware.

My favorite things about this book are:

1. The stories of people working on these types of relationships

2. The way the author points out that our culture guides us towards monogamous sorts of relationships, even if those relationships happen to be serial monogamy rather than the other kind. I hear and see pop culture substantially differently after having read this book, and there aren't many books I can say that about.

Oh, and the advice is useful too, even if you're simply working on monogamous relationships.

this is indeed a very short book, and, if you're interested in learning more about non-monogamy probably shouldn't be the only book you read or own on the subject, but it's still worth reading. matik's tone is very reassuring and supportive; she focuses on (to the extent that anything can really be focused on in such a short book) the emotional aspects of open relationships, and reflects on the meaning of love both for others and oneself.

i only took one star off because i kind of wish it were a little longer!

This is an excellent guide for anyone thinking about alternative models of relationships. It provides real, practical, hands-on advice for maintaining non-monogamous relationships from the author's personal experience. Short enough to be read in one sitting and re-read often, this book really helped me make sense of my own relationships and experiences. Highly recommended!

This is the first work I've read from this author but as half of a couple still finding our way in the non-monogamous lifestyle, I found this book really spoke to my heart. I have read many books on this subject but this was not written from the normal "swinging" perspective. The guidlines suggested in this book could, for the most part, apply to traditional relationships as well. This is the best book I have ever read on this subject and I am sure I will come back to read and review it over and over again. It will open up discussion between partners and was written with care and love. Thanks, Wendy, for such an uplifting work.

While it provides some nice insite it wasnt quite what I thought. It is mostly her impressions and story. nice read but just not what I thought

Bought this for a bride to be, and was thumbing through it. I was suprised there were so many fun, cute ideas for nuturing a romance, so I bought one for myself, and I absolutely love it!

This author (Patrick Carnes) is the most knowledgable person on the topic of Sexual Addiction. This book is good for people who like to have a workbook. There are a lot of quizzes and journaling places, so you can really get to the bottom of your problems. If you are not going to want to journal or take quizzes in the book, I would reccommend some of his other books. I hear great things about his original "facing the shadow" book. I kind of wish I had bought that one actually.

The book is comprehensive, well-researched, and well-presented. I did learn a lot from the book, and I would recommend this book to other people beginning recovery from SA. The book talks about the ten types/stages of courtship and how sexual addiction can affect an addict, so you can diagnose yourself and where you're having difficulties from the charts. It also talks about how slips are like boulders falling off a hill, and there's a great illustration to explain that and how bottomlines can help you.

What was missing for me, and hence the 4 stars, was the lack of content regarding "Relationship Recovery" part. There isn't much indication on how to go about dating the right way for S&L addicts - for example, if you saw the chart and realized you have problems with "seduction" phase of the courtship, you know you have this, but the book doesn't help you to revert this, or suggest what you're supposed to do with the diagnosis, other than "abstinence".

I would say this is a great resource for Sex Addicts in Recovery, but if you are a Sex AND Love Addict in recovery - this book won't fulfill all your needs. I don't know; perhaps Carnes has written a separate book for Love Addiction that I haven't checked out yet.

I would say I'm about 85% satisfied with the information provided by the book, and roughly 70% satisfied with the purchasing of this book.

Key strategy- work to FINISH THINGS! Addicts do not finish things- prefer to "keep options open." Thrives in unfinished business. Starting more than you can finish leads to CRISIS. ENDING THINGS adds substantially to recovery. Addicts avoid completing their conversations. Important feelings and facts are not communicated. Conflict not resolved. PAIN ACCUMULATES. Increase PAIN AND COST TO STOP. Childhood needed something you didn't receive- trust, security, safety, non-sexual affection, both parents together. Normalcy. RESPONSIBILITY TO THOSE YOU HAVE HURT. NEGATIVE EMOTIONS ARE TRANSFERRED TO CHILDREN. Addictive sex feels shameful, illicit, stolen, exploitive, and joyless. Healthy sex- adds to self-esteem, is mutual, intimate, fun, and playful. Fighting= act of trust- focus on issues. - Give outcome to God. Horniness = loneliness. When in doubt, don't. Secrets will separate you from others in recovery. Get a pet. Avoid the feeling that you are a victim. Be gentle w/ yourself about old tortuous conflicts. They are not about you! They never were! Recovery= burst of creativity. NURTURING- Learning how to care for themselves and to allow others to care for them IS essential RECOVERY TASK. Intimacy= shared experiences! FIDELITY TO YOURSELF is the ultimate act of faithfulness to the other. Trust yourself. It's as hared for your partner as it is for you! Admit mistakes. Share Spirituality. Have fun together- common experiences. Recovery- brings awareness of abuse. Sustain from sex w/o intimacy. Talk before, during, and after. Compliment your partner. Respect boundaries. Pay attention to feelings. See Sex as a legitimate joy! Take care of your body. Express attraction. Work on friendship and companionship. Fast-forward the relationship. This is even closer to a cure. Other excellent points in II Corinthians; The Message.

Dr. Carnes is a noted authority and perhaps the premier researcher in the area of sexual addiction. His work goes back easily some twenty years. I have studied with Dr. Carnes and I can say with some authority that this may be his finest work. It is the fruit of much thought and labor. It is reality. Carl Rogers said: "Until we can accept ourselves as we really are we can't change." This book, really a work book, helps the addicted person do just that. But it doesn't stop there. The addict is able to see through the work he does that he is able, through healthy activities, to regain control of his life. This is the second edition. Dr. Carnes demonstrates not only his high standards of authorship, but his humility and ability to accept constructive criticism both from within himself and I think perhaps others, in the changes he has put into this second edition. They are well worth the effort. Dr. Carnes comes at the sexual addiction issue with clarity, research, and above all empathy. His other work "The Recovery Zone," will I think prove to be as well received as this work.

Roger L. Johnson
M.A, Th.M. LPC
Director, Day Program
Meier Clinics

Working through this with group therapy has been wonderful and life changing. Cannot recommend it highly enough. Get Carnes' other books as well.