Sex Relationships Books

For $10 I guess its fine, but I didn't learn anything from this book at all. If anything, I actually feel more alienated. I do not live in the gay neighborhood of my city nor do I hang out exclusively with gay people. However, coexisting with straight people isn't even a passing thought in this book. Basically, if you don't live as a cher-worshipping rainbow flag waving poster child of gaydom, the book paints you as a maladjusted closet case who should be avoided at all costs. I agree with the review that said this is a good guide to turning into a "flaky queen". Also, I cannot even count the number of times alcohol is referred to in this book (and I rarely drink) but any drug use is met with a "kick him to the curb, girlfriend" attitude (I don't do drugs either, but I'm just pointing it out). The book does not answer any central questions about what men want. There is research out there about how important a good body *really* is and how important masculine traits really are for a relationship vs. hookup. This author did not pull any of that in. However, there is an underlying assumption that ALL gay men go to the gym, and usually that is an all-gay gym (so I guess a good body is really important to him...). As far as the authors take on the value that gay men place on education or personal growth - oh wait - neither topic is ever mentioned. The whole book can be summed up with the fact that the author actually gives advice on "what to say if he catches you looking at his Streisand CDs when he comes out of the bathroom". So, essentially, the book is a disappointing series of common-sense superficial tips that anyone who went to high school already knows: "don't seem needy or desperate, be confident, don't go into your whole life story on the first date." I mean, if you're THAT clueless about dating... then go for it. Maybe I would've found this useful at 16 or 17, however. (Oh, by the way I just learned that being 30 is old. It's mentioned about 4 times.) I also like how there is a whole chapter devoted to what you should hide & display in your bathroom (aveda = bad... generic shaving cream = good). Um, by the time a guy is in my bathroom, he is probably on his way to having sex with me so I think it'll just have to be ok if he sees moisturizer with retinol. If he wants to end the relationship over my brand of shaving cream (yes, that is mentioned as well) then I'm done too. What is amazing is that in previous chapters, "being your fabulous gay self" is encouraged, but now we're playing "hide the gay cosmetics?" The book is replete with hypocritical counsel, vague generalizations, and inconsistencies. I suppose, then, it is more of a metaphor of gay dating than a guide to it.

Definitely some interesting points in here for someone in the dating scene! I think this book is a very good buy if you are gay and dating and curious about certain aspects of the gay dating scene like I am right now. I just took it to the beach with me and it was really fun. And the guys on the cover are hot, too!

I don't usually like dating how to books and usually don't write reviews but a friend recommended this for a beach read and it definitely served it's purpose. We were howling. There are some passages that are so eerily realistic in their depiction of the gay guy psyche that they read more like a documentary than a funny how to.

Part of the humor was sharing it with my friends who have had similar experiences.
There are also parts of the book that I cannot empathize with at all, such as the checking a guy's medicine cabinet or music CD's as a part of the dating ritual. But some of these are, I think, tongue-in-cheek parts. Nonetheless, we laughed out loud at some of the unfamiliar topics, too. Yes, even the stereotypical ones that no one wants to admit to, and a lot of the advice which seems geared more toward a gay man's twenties and early thirties. Dating disasters are presented in a good-natured way which both the guilty and innocent should equally enjoy. This book can also be a good ego booster, since every gay man should be able to find at least one passage where he can say "At least I never did that!"

I would say that this book is very entertaining. It runs the gamut of gay dates from hell to smart ways to think about creating good dates. It has great information, it's very well-written, meaning the author has a real style about him, and for the most part it's smart advice. But it's not just an advice book. You should know that upfront. There are lots of personal anecdotes about relationships, sex, dating, etc.

Loved it. It contains some wonderful, practical advice. But really, it's like spending the afternoon with a wise and witty friend who left me feeling better about myself than when I started it. I don't get the naysayers who act as if every so-called self help book has to be written in dense academic text or swamped in psychobabble. There's a lot of dreary stuff out there and I have read most of it. This was really enjoyable. There's some obvious satire in here, mixed with the stories. If you hate being entertained or laughing out loud then some parts of this are not for you I guess.

I didn't finish reading this book yet but from what I read up until now I would say that this is a very good book. Her style is very relaxed. She obviously knows quite a lot about relationships. Her book might be a little bit too targeted for women though, but I would still definitely recommend this book for men. It talks about EVERYTHING! From the most basic stuff to the most advanced stuff. Good Book!

I found many questionable things in this book, like:

1. Someone who's renovating their house is "almost certainly attached". Like singles don't do that, too?

2. Saying "I love you" without meaning it is a "harmless male fib" for "I want to sleep with you". (this is where my relationship problems are - I can't read minds)

3. You can remain friends with an ex "if the split was mutual". But what if, even in a mutual split, there was deception, abuse and/or manipulation involved? Do friends of the same sex treat each other this way? I believe a couple can remain friends after a breakup, but ONLY IF both parties played fair throughout the relationship, which is rarely the case. Usually, "Let's be friends" means "I don't want to face the consequences of my behavior".

4. "I'll call you" is another "harmless fib"...

5. A size 12 is a "cow". Thanks, Tracey!

Between the screaming chartreuse and hot pink covers of this book are several hundred pages of utterly calm and good advice on love relationships. The title is misleading, but it does take advantage of the success of Cox's first book, "Hot Sex." In fact, a more apt title would be "Rational Relationships" - not very catchy.

Cox is respectful of both sides of every story, and her advice is middle-of-the-road, and very reasonable. She takes partnership seriously, but includes a wonderful chapter on what's great about being on one's own, too.

For adults, much of what she promotes and explains has perhaps been seen elsewhere - in my case, in the many advice columns, magazine articles, and self-help books that have come my way over the years.

But for teenagers and young adults, I would recommend this book without reservation. In fact it's a book that a really good high school "Health" class might include as recommended reading. All kids would benefit from its wisdom.

DO WHATEVER YOU MUST TO GET THIS BOOK.

I found this book to be very witty and real. I bought it to help me through a break up (it did) but have read it 3 times. I read another review here where the lady didn't like some of Tracey's advice. Well, sure any book you read will have some things in it that you don't agree with. This book overall does an excellent job of "keeping it real". I laughed while reading it, but was also able to use the practical advice given. I highly recommend this book to anyone. There is something in it for all!

I have long been an admirer of John Amodeo's work. A long-time therapist and counselor, he understand the dynamics of intimate relationships as well as anyone I know. In addition, he is an excellent writer--clear, thoughtful, probing. This book is timely. The boomer generation, especially, with its history of shattered relationship, broken dreams, and burned-out illusions, will benefit from its careful and thorough laying out of the eightfold path to authentic love. Amodeo shows us that real love, which means a deep spiritual and emotional connection, true friendship, and a healthy measure of chemistry and romance, is possible. It seems to me that this book is an indispensable guide for anyone seeking such a union.

As more of us boomers reach middle age, we reflect on the love relations we have and those we've left behind, and I've found in myself and friends that there's a yearning for authentic love, a longing to deepen in oneself and also connect intimately with one's wife or lover, family and friends. Yet, for many of us the baggage of persistent habits of thought and behavior, including our young love romantic idealism, distances us from that which we most want. John Amodeo with great clarity and sensitivity speaks from the heart in his new book, The Authentic Heart : An Eightfold Path to Midlife Love, talks to us as a wise friend, and takes us on a mindful journey along an "eightfold path", which reveals workable, livable principles about how to enjoy an authentic life in relationship. What a relief it is to know that such a book has been written and serves us all as a friendly handbook for our relational journey. I highly recommend you include John Amodeo's book in your library of most valued references. Just be sure to read it first! For those of us that have struggled with betrayal in relationship, I also want to mention John's previous work, Love and Betrayal, which intelligently and compassionately sheds light on that important subject.

This book explains that healthy intimate relationships aren't about the romantic notions portrayed by the media or in the fairytales we all read as children, but rather about knowing ourselves, showing up, being authentic, and speaking our truth in a caring yet honest way. Authentic Heart provides a refreshingly realistic take on mature relationships, and is written in a very clear and easily digestible manner. You definitely don't need to be familiar with Buddhist philosophy to get a lot out of this book, but if you are, you'll likely resonate with much of the perspective here. I loved this book so much that I bought a second copy to pass around to all my friends!

If there is ever a Pulitzer Prize for a book about love, "The Authentic Heart" should win hands down. I have great admiration for John Amodeo's gentle yet powerful prose and lively writing style. I am inspired beyond words how often and beautifully he illuminates by example the significance of risking vulnerability and emotional honesty to achieve emotional intimacy in relationships. There is a genuine, moving wisdom in this book that speaks to people of all ages, not just those approaching or in mid-life.

I have been blessed to have been able to call the author friend for nearly 30 years. The depth of his knowledge and insight has been a source of inspiration and comfort to me on untold occasions. Now he has distilled and laid to paper a life's work of study so that anyone who chooses to can share in his heartfelt wisdom, as I and his many friends have done throughout the years. What a joy it was for me to read this book. Those who are seeking to improve their life and relationships will find many workable answers here. What are the key ingredients of love? Of trust? What are the five blocks to effective communication? And how can we be emotionally honest with others in a gentle way? Dr. Amodeo explains in vivid prose. But even those who are not seeking to improve their life and relationships, even those who read for the satisfaction of affirming their own good fortune in love, may be surprised to find the answers to questions they haven't yet thought to ask. What a wonderful book! Thank you Dr. Amodeo. Thank you, my friend John.

i am very surprised to see this book on amazon of all places, i got my copy from the author herself a few years ago at a fetish fair..if you enjoyed the movies 9 1/2 weeks and The Secretary you will find this book to be a very good read, i would've preferred it to be more explicit but don't let that deter you from getting this book..it is as close as you'll get to reading someones diary that lives a very kinky life...

I purchased this book on the recommendation from a friend of mine. Most books about BDSM are "How To" or fantasy books, the puppy papers wasn't either. The puppy papers was a fascinating book, it took me a while to realize that this book was non fiction. To confirm this I went onto the Internet to see if this Steven person was real, he certainly is, which made this book that much better. Also there are references to nationally known people in the BDSM community who Steven is friends with. Another thing about this book is that it does not have flowery descriptive words or phrases, it is written in the moment in letter conversation form. Their conversations are about life, their relationship, puppy's work, family, even when her husband accuses her of having relationship with another man, her past play partners and Master, her need to be with Steven, her need to serve and a lot of kink.

I was surprised when the story took a turn when Steven started to ask puppy questions about her life and told her that he may be putting a book together from their emails. At this point, Steven becomes an interviewer and puppy continues to reveals open and honestly all aspects of her life. I haven't found a woman that is this comfortable with herself, that can speak so openly about her life, as for myself I don't know if I can be so open and honest about myself either.

I was fascinated by puppy's letters answering Steven questions and that they don't always follow the normal pattern of conversation, but life doesn't always flow smoothly. In one of the letters she brings up about playing doctor/patient with her girl friends, describing how girls learn about their body, I was surprised to say the lest, this is a subject that is never discussed. When asking about her first BDSM awakening, experience which took place in a Hotel room with a stranger, you can take safe and sane and throw that out the window. I found puppy a very erotic kinky masochist who is very devoted to her Dominant and open to all types of play.

The progression of their relationship from Top/bottom to Dominant/submissive is evident in how puppy address's Steven, I found that very interesting. I do wish that there was more about Steven in the last part of the book, he took a back seat to puppy's story which was a good thing, but so is he. In researching Stevens life on the Internet I found it fascinating that he is in the adult porn sex business and his involvement with the police and federal government. I wanted more of him in the book.

I thoroughly enjoyed the Puppy Papers, Puppy writes very well in the moment and has a wonderful sense of humor. If their relationship lasts and evolves I want to read about it, they certainly do have an interesting life.

By the way, the title has nothing to do with puppy play, this book is about puppy's life in her letters. For myself, I have been involved in the BDSM for many years.

Ken Ballard
Mr. Iowa Leather 2005

I couldn't decide whether to call this book a biography or an autobiography. It is through a series of emails, over a period of six months, in which Steven Toushin asks puppy sharon probing questions about her past and her understanding of sexuality (in particular hers) that sharon's story comes out but it is through her writings that we get to know her. It could be thought of as an interview as well. Perhaps structurally it is a hybrid. Personally, I like that I can't easily classify this book. It allows it to function as all of the above and creates the ability to enter the material in a variety of ways.

Conceptually it is interesting to find myself (as the reader) participating as voyeur in the budding relationship between Toushin and puppy. To observe as she slowly opens up revealing a fascinating sexual life from childhood to the present. Steven stays out of the way, revealing very little about himself, creating plenty of room for her to divulge her sexual awakenings. The correspondence between the two plays out much like life. There are the mundane emails, the "how are you. I'm fine" aspects, but tucked in between those are treasures of information. Some of which most women growing up in rural and suburban middle America will surely recognize and others that are truly unique to sharon; her openness to exploration reveals a woman self-possessed enough not to be bogged down in the guilt and shame of a slow but maturing understanding of her sexual desires and needs.

sharon's descriptions of her introduction to the BDSM world are absorbing, typically awkward, and sometimes funny as she talks about the pitfalls, as well as the satisfying encounters. Her point-of-view is adventurous and sometimes reveals a naiveté that is inevitable when entering a new world of experience. It is encouraging for those new to this sexual realm to read from a woman's point-of-view who remains intact despite unsuccessful experiences. A woman who handles the situations with calmness, self-possession and a sense of humor not allowing others to defeat or discourage her from continuing her quest to find sexual satisfaction. She seems to know this is all a part of her sexual education, which she is clearly in charge of. It's refreshing to read a woman's story that does not revolve around exploitation.

For those like me, if you begin to become suspicious of who this Steven Toushin guy is (especially after sharon reveals stories about some of the creeps she's encountered) never fear. Check out the appendix. There is plenty of information about him there. Though I do wish he would have included more about himself within the context of the email exchanges I understand the attempt to stay out of the way of sharon's story. It is sometimes successful, sometimes not. There are times when I begin wondering more about who he is which becomes a distraction from sharon.


This book is open-ended leaving the reader with many questions, particularly regarding sharon and Steven's growing relationship. It's some of the most titillating aspects of the book and if you want arousing material then you'll be clamoring for more details regarding their intense sexual interactions. I smell a sequel, which I'd buy. My curiosity has been piqued. The reader is given enough information to keep interested but there is still plenty that is to be explored. Again it is a strategy that points to one of life's conundrums, the inability for one person to fully know another person's mind and the desire to probe their lives all the more intensely. It also reminds us that one cannot judge a person by the way they look. There are plenty of professionals, suburban mothers, and other "normal" everyday people who have interesting and even amazing hidden lives. Makes you what to stop and find out what lurks behind the façade of normalcy that so many exude. It's good to know there are people from all walks of life waking up sexually and being brave enough to follow their inner desires.

This book was great. It offers insight into her thought processes and how she learns. I had my sub read this book so she could get an idea of what the lifestyle is like. She came away with things she liked and didn't like about it. So it was great book for her to understand the joys of bdsm and also express some of her concerns. Great book and should be in any BDSM bedroom library.

I loved this book. It was a real to life look at a womans entrance into BDSM. I think it is a must for anyone looking to see how a Dom and sub think and feel.

Fantastic read!

This is one of the best books I've read on middle-aged internet dating. The author's tone and style are delightful and it's full of great information.

Single baby-boomers re-entering the world of over-forty dating will find Patsy Stagner's Baby Boom Bachelorette a unique guide charting the different world of midlife dating. From assessing 'baggage' and whom to date to locating bachelors and getting noticed, Stagner provides many candid tips based on practical real-world experience.

I was very impressed with this author's straight-forward and sincere, warm and funny tone. This is one of the best books I've read for those of us who've found ourselves in the "over the (fill in the blank)" category of dating singles. Stagner has some of the best advice I've read on the subject. She is brave enough to go against conventional wisdom with tips like not always telling the truth (about age, for example) and why we don't really need self-esteem to succeed in the dating scene. Buy it for yourself, buy it for a friend or your newly-divorced sister. Even the married can benefit by the book's candid (and did I say funny?) wisdom.

A tell it like it is fun read full of wit and wisdom.

"What You Learn. That it's never too late to have a happy dating (or sex) life - but this guide addresses much more, urging those in the post-40 set to alter their perspectives on getting older and embrace the process with humor and heart. With solid advice on getting back in the dating game (and even playing it better than before), as well as useful tips for looking your best and cultivating a positive attitude."

-- Alexa Joy Sherman, "Ages of Enlightenment," SHAPE May 2005

There is no perfect answer to conflict in relationships...but this is a very good system for looking deeper and getting honest about what the underlying problems could be.

BUY IT FIRST !!! OK, probably like you, I have bookshelves full of books that I thought would help me identify my issues/self limiting beliefs, understand where they came from and deal with them. This of course comes after giving up on stockpiling books about how to change others to get what you want. Finally you realize YOU need to give YOU what you want to be happy, but how? By page 30 of this EASY TO READ book, the essential ideas of tons of other books on the subject have been covered, simply and QUICKLY. It's like someone plowed through all the available info on the subject, distilled it for people with short attention spans and leads you simply and quickly to the points that you need to get, speaking directly and understandably to you. Written by husband/wife team who discuss very openly what their issues were in getting to the place we all want to get to (Part 1). Part 2 is how to inventory and deal with your own stuff. I could have saved a ton of money, frustration and time, had I bought this one first. Think I'll take their seminar as well, regardless of location or cost. These folks have it nailed and have made it as easy as it's going to get. If you are tired of [working with] this stuff, getting a little here and a little there and just want to finally get it done, then I highly recommend this book. Get this, the WORKBOOK version... that is if you are ready to DO your work and quit reading up on it.

I used this book as a text in my Gender and Aggression seminar. It would work well in any Women's Studies or Psychology class that addresses interpersonal violence. The students found it very readable. The research cited is up to date and the research findings are presented in a framework that makes them interesting and interpretable. Frieze addresses interpersonal violence as a personal and a societal problem.

This straight-forward book presents all the latest information on family/domestic violence. Although the book is based on the latest research studies, it is readable and accessible not only to psychologists and health workers, but to all those who might have been touched by family violence.

This is a must read for EVERY couple. Women AND men should be reading it to help keep their relationship strong, happy and long lasting. It's inspiring and delightful knowing there are so many personal ways to show your love, respect and appreciation for your partner. You will discover creative ways to enjoy and celebrate each other everyday. Authors Carol Bruess and Anna Kudak are special women that are dedicated to making a difference in the lives of other couples.

Holli Ehrlich
Co-founder, Wedding Podcast Network(tm)
[...]

What Happy Couples Do is a cute book. It has a lot of different tidbits about what help make some marriages work. There are some suggestions on what any couple could look at to help strengthen a marriage. Easy reading and kept my attention.

This book is a joy in every way. First, it is absolutely cute to look at- front, back and every page in between. It's charming, but in a cooler way than you'd might be used to. And, secondly, besides the fact that it just looks good on a coffee table or on my bedside table, it's an absolute joy to read. It's kind of like spying, or eavesdropping, on some of your favorite couples' little private rituals and daily routines-- only more fun because there's no guilt! I love reading the short real-life stories that real couples have shared. They are unbelievably touching, silly, inspiring and maybe even a little "whoa!" at the same time. The joy that has come from reading this book, and sharing it with my spouse, has been somewhat of a surprise to me. I knew I'd like reading the stories, but I hadn't realized how it would make me/us think... about what "stuff" we're doing right, and where we could maybe improve. We've even "tried on" some of the rituals for ourselves just for fun. The authors give us real examples along with real research (broken down in to a lay-person's language!) to support why these loving little rituals are so important. And throughout the book, is the underlying message-- our marriages are in the DOING. We choose what to do. Be intentional. Do something. Our choice. I love it. I highly recommend it for new couples, and us "old" couples. So, I'd encourage you to DO something- buy this book. And enjoy.

"What Happy Couples Do" makes a great gift for yourself, your girlfriends, sisters and each of those spring weddings just around the corner. It is artfully designed and a pleasure to peruse.

Plus, it's one of the books you'd grab when your own marriage can use a boost. You'll be instantly rewarded with optimism and comraderie; as it clearly reminds us all that every marriage, not just yours, requires effort. This book simply and beautifully makes the effort more fun.