True Crime Books

I very much enjoyed this true story of a murder, covering all aspects of the characters involved, the crime itself, and the trial and it's results. It is well-written, informative, thorough, and easy to read.

you may thing people are harmless but looks can be deceiving. Never trust anyone! Evne people who you know they may think about you in a different way and get desperate when you don't acknowledge them and resort to murder.

The heartbreaking tale of the murder of Martha Brailsford, as told in A SCREAM ON THE WATER, formerly published as Counterpoint: A Murder in Massachusetts Bay, is a very interesting book. Just keeping up with the lies told by convicted murder Tom Maimoni is enough to keep a reader fully engaged.

As many other reviews have related here, Maimoni had a difficult time accepting "No" for answer when it came to women; and he was willing to tell them anything to keep from hearing that dreaded word. Yet his passive-aggressive tendencies did not make him a vicious man, only one to be feared by what was not at all expected from him.

This was a great, fast read true crime. While there is nothing that really separates Maimoni from so many other murderers, his modus operandi is one that is, at times, fascinating. I recommend reading this book if true crime is chosen genre.

Nicely written, with lots of insight into the killer's mindset as well as the psychology of the investigators. Absorbing.

"A Scream on the Water" is the story of Thomas Maimoni, a narcissistic sociopath who lived a life of lies and abuse culminating in murder. This is a very well-written book. The setting is very well-developed. The descriptions of the people and places around Salem Mass. are well-rounded and satisfying. The reader feels as if they are there, and get inside the heads of the victim, her husband, the police investigators, and the wives of Maimoni and many other victims of his deceit and manipulation. For years Maimoni lied about everything to everyone: his marital status, military career (ha!), education, and jobs. This book is not only interesting to the true crime reader, it is like the works of Ann Rule in that the writer uses the opportunity to warn the innocent among us that people are often not as they present themselves. Even those who sensed that Maimoni was full of bull had no idea how explosive and deadly his rage could be when threatened with disclosure. A well-developed, psychologically complex, and thrilling cautionary tale.

The subtitle of this book promises the "untold story" of dirty international financial dealings. That's not quite what it delivers, because the book compiles already-published accounts, public reports and Congressional testimony, and adds to them. Given that money laundering involves drug dealers, terrorists and slavers, the book has some titillating asides about sex, violence and filthy money. Author Peter Lilley explains precisely how money laundering works, including an introduction to the practices and techniques that have proven most successful. While praising the author's reportorial depth, we note one dilemma that emerges from such thoroughness: we hope this book doesn't fall into the hands of someone who wishes to take up money laundering but is unsure how to proceed. Business people who want to avoid being victimized should take particular note of the chapter discussing well-known checks-and-balances, controls and best practices.

The fully revised and updated third edition of Dirty Dealing: The Untold Truth About Global Money Laundering, International Crime And Terrorism by global crime expert Peter Lilly is an informed and informative study of international corruption and crime as resulting in over two trillion US dollars being siphoned for illegal purposes every year. Introducing readers to a methodical and documented account based upon expertly researched information and analysis, Dirty Dealing provides a progressive basis for comprehending the global funding of international terrorism, major national and international organized criminal groups, the impact of the internet and "cyber laundering", and international anti-money laundering strategies for all types of corporate and multinational businesses. A seminal work of considerable scholarship and insight, Dirty Dealing is very strongly recommended reading for students of economics, criminology, and global terrorism.

You will not sleep well after reading this book...that is how shocking, sad, demented, and torturous the subject and the man of this book is. What a horrible fiend who killed for his own deranged reasons, which are disgusting and terrifying at the same time. Wickedness comes in many places, and this man was truly awful. A very interesting and well-written account.

This book arrived promptly and in good condition. I've not yet read it.

I'm extremely pleased with both the vendor and the product.

Dr. John E. Touchton Sr.

This is the story of Andrei Chikatilo, a sadistic sexual serial killer convicted in Rostov of 53 murders of women and children (although he undoubtedly committed more). Lourie focuses on detective Issa Kostoev, who led the years-long investigation that finally caught Chikatilo, but not before an innocent man was executed for his first murder.

This book provides an interesting insight into the Russian legal system as it struggled to capture Russia's very own "Jack the Ripper."

The subject matter of this book - Andrei Chikatilo - is extremely interesting, though unbelievably dark, and the book itself lives up to the task. Chikatilo was one of the most terrible serial killers in history, with 53 official victims (and a few unofficial ones more), and certainly one of the most savage and furious. Here is a man who had orgasms while mutilating genitals and used his knife as some sort of [...]replacement, not to mention the rest.

What I especially appreciated in the book is how is the narrative is shared between the killer and those looking for him, more especially Issa Kostoev, the man in charge of arresting the "Rostov Ripper". As the title of the book suggests, you will learn quite some interesting things about how the pursuit of this killer was led, and what kind of problems the hunting had to face; and that will be quite stunning. Corruption, treason, base sexual desires, etc, etc. While hunting for the Devil, there will be many demons on the way: police officers abusing their functions to beat and rape arrested people, all sorts of mentally challenged perverts thought to be potential killers, etc. The whole thing has a feeling of intense dystopia and is quite stunning.

Both lives this book is concerned with, Issa Kostoev and Andrei Chikatilo, are cast against a background of falling empire, as the USSR slowly went to its demise. It's almost eerie how Chikatilo's own fall coincides with that of the Soviet Block. It's very interesting, because in a way, it all begins with it, and ends with it. Kostoev, as a child, suffered from Stalin's unjust removing and persecution of his whole people (in which he lost many a sibling) and Chikatilo as a child had to go through hard times too (though not quite comparable).

Richard Lourie does a great job of not only exposing the facts of the affair (and he had a ton of document for this, as well as having been with Issa Kostoev personally, attending Chikatilo's trial, having all the documents of the case, including audio-tapes and all) but also in putting all of it in perspective and giving the reader a good insight of Russia and of a society not quite functioning, and changing. The reader is made to follow Kostoev in that long pursuit of that demonic killer which took many years, and many lives.

The writing is gripping; I read the whole book in two readings, reading for 5 hours each time or so. This is truly the best kind of "true crime" I have read, because it does not lose itself into cheap novelisation while suing narrative devices to shape the whole thing into a convincing and riveting book.

I haven't read any other book on Andrei Chikatilo, but this one is definitely a classic on that killer, if only for the documents available to the author, who speaks Russian and knows Russian culture, a fact that is very important and whose impact you can feel reading the book.

The range covered here is impressive: the killer, the dysfunctions of the system, the life of Kostoev as he pursues Chikatilo, Russia, history, etc. It's always relevant and very informative. However, none of these overshadow the gruesomeness of the killings, and you won't be spared details, so not a book for the faint-hearted.

Most definitely one of the best books of the kind, and undoubtedly among the very best books on Chikatilo, if not the best.

This is the story of Dave Hall, a rather ordinary guy, except for his size, who got recruited by the FBI to infiltrate the Aryan Nations group in Ohio. These white supremacists, fans of Hitler, were not too smart, but they were quite dangerous. Dave "hid in place" for more than two years, drowning in the race hatred rhetoric, taking notes on assassination plots and fantasies of creating an all-white homeland in the Pacific Northwest. He was at the mercy of weapons-lusting phony reverends, meathead mercenaries, and coke-snorting crackpots. His FBI handler writes half the book, and Dave's narrative is the other half. Luckily, Dave got out alive, with enough information to break up what was almost surely a plot to kill the famous Morris Dees of Alabama, the crusading civil rights attorney. If you are attracted to tales about the dangers of being a spy, and you think neo-Nazi types need to be closely watched, this book will certainly hold your interest. As a junior high student, back in New Jersey, I came from a somewhat racist strain of white citizens, and I got interested in what was then "The American Nazi Party" led by George Lincoln Rockwell. I never was a member or even knew a member. I just read their literature and quickly decided they were bonkers. Rockwell, an intelligent, handsome figure, was later killed by one of his fellow believers. That group was based near Washington, D.C. and was a forerunner of the groups profiled in this book. The bad guys Dave Hall helped collar hated Jews, Blacks, brown-skinned folks, liberals, gays, cops, government workers of all sorts, feminists, etc. Some of them justified their evil through the Bible, while others were grinding the axes of politics and social customs. We are better off for their demise, and Mr. Hall played a part in sweeping them off the national stage a decade ago.

I read this book all in one day. I was on the edge of my seat. Dave is a real hero to us all. Incredible journey he was on and for the betterment of our nation. I hope this book makes it to the big screen.

Co-author Dave Hall provides us with considerable insight into the workings of the Aryan Nations hate organization that he infiltrated with the help of his 6' 4" 350 pound tatooed body, and of co-author Tym Burkey of the F.B.I. To get a more severe drug related sentence of his own reduced Dave Hall agreed to live a two and one-half year double life as a member of the AN. He describes in incredible detail how difficult it was to keep his identities separate. His mother had warned him, "When you dance with the Devil, the Devil doesn't change, the Devil changes you." Having sat through the rantings of "Pastor" Ray Redfeairn of the Ohio AN chapter and others who spewed their venom in "sermons" Dave Hall had to discipline himself not to adopt the beliefs of the AN as his own. Once cut off in traffic by an African-American he found himself shouting out racial slurs at which time he had to remind himself of his mother's warning. Dave Hall found solace in his beloved dog, Gary, which had to be euthanized due to a brain tumor. This proved to be a difficult loss to adjust to, but he had his F.B.I. boss and his mother to whom he could ventilate his frustrations. We may not know the significance of our efforts immediately, but Dave Hall's two and one-half years of involvement of behalf of our country led to the protection of Morris Dees from AN assassination. It was Dees who later sued the AN and put their Idaho compound out of business. This book is a real eye-opener showing the hate and intolerance that still exists in our country. We may have come a long way, but we still have a long way to go. This book is highly recommended reading.

Best book I've read yet dealing with this subject matter. There have long been rumors that author Stephen Williams had access to the actual video recordings of the crimes and therefore they are described in chilling detail leaving nothing to the imagination. If you can handle it, this book won't let you down. You will not be able to put it down.

I am still waiting to receive this product, since 3/9/07!!! Very hard to rate something you are still waiting on.

This item was exactly what i ordered in the exact condition that i ordered it in. Would definitly do business with seller again! Thank you

I found this book to be very detailed and thorough. It is one of those books you don't want to put down, however the crimes described are gut-wrenching and very twisted. If you want to know the details of the crimes, this book will definitely provide you with the details, and basically I think that's what most people want to know. The book provides some details about the killers' background, but mostly as it relates to the crimes committed. The author believes that Karla is far more responsible for the murders than she claims, which some may consider controversial. Overall I highly recommend it, and incidentally agree with the author.

I had never heard of either Paul Bernardo or Karla until I picked up this book. I had been reading Ann Rule books that I really enjoy and I came across this one. This is one of those books that will stay in my mind forever. Rarely does a book shock or disturbs the way this one did. I actually had nightmares! This book is very graphic and my heart goes out to the victims. I can't believe that Karla actually walks around today a free woman. I would imagine that she must walk around looking behind her back at all times. Paul Bernardo is sick & twisted, but Karla is pure evil.

Wow, what a complex man Gary Evans was. And a huge narcissist if you ask me. This book grabbed me from the beginning and the ending was not what I had expected at all. Matt as usual your thorough investigating on the events are excellent! And some people's reaction of Jim Horton and his relationship with Gary is not fair. I bet if Jim knew earlier and suspected way earlier what Gary really was he would never worked with him as a CI. This is a must read.

Fascinating True Crime Story. Very well written and fast paced.

In true M. William Phelps style, we are introduced to State Officer Jim Horton and professional burgular Gary Evans who, through a series of 496 attention-gripping pages, play a real life of game of Cops & Robbers or Cat & Mouse yet amazingly establish a connection...a friendship, in a skewed sense.

If you are like me and don't mind long, very detail books, you will enjoy this one. Readers are provided with an indepth look into the life of Gary Evans from his meager beginnings; all the while, readers also enjoy a clearly present background of Investigator Jim Horton. And, although not as detailed as the main "characters," the backgrounds of those involved with Evans, whether they be paramour or victim, is also provided to help the reader develop an idea of how that person became involved with Evans and, often later, Horton.

I absolutely loved this book. This is one I would consider to be in the Top 10 of Best Written and All Time Favorites.

If you love true crime, and if you've got a few hours to burn, buy this book. There is something here, something that reaches out of this book and into your mind. You won't put it down, and you won't forget it long after the book is finished. Its like nothing I've ever read before. You are there. The facts, as they come to light,are presented in such a way as to make you feel YOU are the detective. Totally awesome!

I am an avid and continual reader of true crime. In EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE, I feel M. William Phelps has reached the level of some of the truly fine crime writers. (Jack Olsen comes to mind.) This book has all the prerequisites for great true crime: a fascinating story; intelligent literate writing; and meticulous and exhaustive research. Reviews of one of Phelps' more recent books, MURDER IN THE HEARTLAND, chastise Phelps for a sloppy rush job. I can assure you that this is not the case with EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE. This book was clearly a long time in the researching and the writing, and it presents to the reader the reasons contributing to the making of one of the more interesting sociopaths you'll read about. And Gary Evans is indeed a sociopath of the first order.
Additional points for lovers of this genre: the book is well edited. I recall no typos, and very few misused words. The picture section is also interesting and adds to the book, although in the paperback copy I read, the pictures will have fallen out by the 3rd reading.
And, thank God, there is NO interminable courtroom scene description.
I recommend this book unreservedly and totally, even to those who are not in particular true crime devotees.

I am a firm believer that Cook murdered a policeman, and I would support any cause against Cook. I thought the book was a hard read, but am glad I read it for the perspective from a very courageous woman and wife of a hero.

Although I tend to agree with Jane Jervis, that Danny's Widow has "made a career of her husband's death"(P.262;6), Maureen Faulkner's ability to explain the propensity of her position, is phenominal. And the ending is just chilling.

It had to be done. I read a reviewer state that "Maureen has made a career of Danny's death". If it wasn't for the psychos on the left, she wouldn't have had to write the book in the first place.The whole circus just turns your stomach. The one positive of this whole fiasco, is that 25 years after Dannny's murder we are still talking about him. I highly reccommend this book.

Finally! The truth known to a majority of Pennsylvanians about Mumia now sees the light of day! This is in thanks to a courageous woman, her family, and of course Michael Smerconish.
I remember this trial, as well as the whole Mumia and Move saga, and I can tell you that there is no conspiracy! Mumia killed Officer Faulkner on that cold December night, and was fairly tried in a court of law, despite the deliberate disruptions by Mumia himself! The lawyer he wanted, one Joe Africa of Move, is not a lawyer, and therefore cannot represent Mumia in a court of law. The lawyer he ended up with was one that was recommended to him by his family! This fact, and the other facts of the case can be found in this book, as well as the justice4danielfaulkner site, and in the trial transcripts, that his often ignorant supporters refuse to acknowledge!Yes, I called his supporters ignorant, because they are ignorant! This was proven by a local Philly radio station that went undercover at a Mumia rally a few years ago, and found that many of the participants had no idea who they were supporting! They compiled many of the responses of not only of the Mumia supporters at the rally, but also the rally speakers, who acknowledged the ignorance of the crowd. The station not only aired these tapes, but they had a website outlining the case for all to read.
As a Philadelphian, and daughter of a former police lieutenant, I am outraged that this murderer, (who has never offered any other explainations about what happened that night), is still alive, and has garnered support from the many gulliable and ignorant celebrities, politicians, and college students out there! It must be really frustrating for Mrs. Faulkner to constantly have to defend her husband, and the facts against Mumia's supporters. If you want the truth, don't look to Mumia, Weinglass, Pacifico radio, Pam Africa, or Partisan, because they are LIARS!!!
I highly recommend this book to both sides of this Mumia debacle, because I think it is not only an accurate account of the facts of Daniel Faulkner's murder, but also a loving tribute to the man who has been eclipsed by his murderer! Officer Daniel Faulkner and his family are not only the TRUE VICTIMS of this story, but are also the TRUE HEROES! If there are still any Mumia supporters after this book, I will be astonished!
If you guys want a real hero to worship, look towards the courageous men and women of the police, fire, and military! They are the ones who fight for our rights! They even fight for the right to be a moron, which is a characterization that we Philadelphians give to the Mumia supporters!
Jennifer Hoey

Extremely one-sided, extremely biased and not well written. I was expecting much more from this. Keep your hands off this book, it's absolutely not worth the money. If I had the option of giving this book 0 stars I would have chosen 0.

Recent archival research has partly superseded "OSS," but it remains a valuable survey of America's main undercover service in World War II. As a pioneering history, some facts inevitably have been supplemented and/or corrected, but the overall outline presented here is quite valid. The OSS collected intelligence and executed some useful operations, along with a few blunders (e.g. Allen Dulles's peace feelers to Nazi Germany, which outraged the USSR and briefly imperiled the alliance). But their efforts were largely peripheral to the major ground, air and sea campaigns. The book's main value now may be to suggest topics and raise questions for future research. It also contains a more subtle message in documenting the idealism and (often) progressive sympathies of citizen-soldiers dedicated to fighting Japanese and German tyrannies. Smith's 1972 publication reflected the backlash against the CIA and US militarism during the Vietnam War era. His vision of a clandestine outfit which actually promoted positive change, and respected expertise, offers hope in our current time of troubles. A CIA that routinely violates the Geneva Conventions with torture and kidnapping, and chickenhawk officials who pervert information-gathering in their rush to disaster overseas, are unworthy heirs of OSS veterans and the leaders of their time.

This work was the first genuinely scholarly work on the OSS. The author, an academician, wrote it way back when most OSS works were memoirs or compilations of tales of derring do or sensationalistic political acreeds concerning intelligence matters; although the still interesting memoirs and tales were fact based, those early books were based solely on memory and not on sound documentation. In addition many sensational critiques of intelligence agencies and the CIA msntioned some OSS activities. The date of 2005 given is that of the reprint, not the original 1972.
The former files of the OSS remained in use by the OSS's two successor agencies: the State Department's Intelligence Bureau (INR) and the War Department's Special Services Unit (SSU), which carried on the OSS's HUMINT clandestine operations. SSU in turn was folded in 1947 into the newly estabished CIA, which continued to use the classified OSS files and added to them. The former OSS files then continued in use for many years; in the eighties, the CIA finally weeded out sll the long since unecessary files concerning operational, organizational and procedural matters and sent them to the Nationsl Archives. Thia action resulted in a huge quantity of memoirs being written by veterans of OSS (c.f. Elizabeth MacIntosh's study of women in the OSS, "Sisterhood of Spies"), in technicals studies (c.f. John Brunner's "OSS Weapons" and in organizational histories (c.f. Yu's "OSS in China"). All of these and many similar recent studies I have reviewed on this site.
This pioneering work by Harris is necessarily sketchy due to lack of sources, being based on a few scattered memoirs and incomplete and undocumented popular publications and interviews, snd riddled with omissions and errors, has been overtaken by events.
The book is best looked at as a curiosity demonstrating the lack of public knowledge in its day, when CIA insiders remaining in the intelligence business were actively discouraged from publishing. Harris, having never been in the OSS, was not constrained by secrecy oaths from publishing what he could glean from no longer serving veterans and other sources.
Why this was reprinted is beyond me. There are enough copies to be found in the used book trade to satisfy the completist collector of OSS related works while to those who are doing current research, it is simply an obsolete curiousity.
Not all works published in the last fifty years are no longer of continuing validity; many first hand accounts and compilations of derring do tales are still valuble, for example "You're Stepping on My Cloak and Dagger". (c.f reviews on this site.)

FDR seemed to have a natural interest in spies. Before World War II started he had contacted William 'Wild Bill' Donovan and asked him to set up a foreign intelligence agency along the lines of what the British were doing. He formed just what FDR wanted and it was called the Office of Strategic Services, a non-descript name that could have meant anything. ==The OSS was a crazy agency that grew like crazy, eventually reaching some 10,000 people. All in all, the OSS provided some useful intelligence. They performed some useful operations during the war. They trained some very good people. This book will give you all the details. ==This whole concept was done over the intense opposition of J. Edgar Hoover who fought with every skill he had to prevent what he considered competition with the FBI. ==After FDR died, Truman and Donovan didn't get along all tht well. Truman shut down the OSS, but shortly thereafter realized that the Navy, the Army and the FBI along with all the others didn't play well together so he set up the CIA a few months later. ==Of course 9/11 taught us that none of them play well together now.

Who you lookin' at? That's as Italian De Niro can get. Expect the same kind of flavour when reading this book and then add some extra hot sauce.

You have to be aware this book was written by a mobster who considered himself a man of honor. What you think of the world is the way you are raised and how you live your life.

This book shows a great deal of information about the way of Sicilian life in the early 1900's and the booze-jammed 20's and 30's in the U.S. To read about that is fun alone, but reading about mobsters and their organization is even more exciting. This is a personal story, told by the man who reigned over Italian America for a great deal of time.

Ofcourse, Bonanno has nothing to do with leading all organized crime he tells us. But you know how Italians like food, so add a pinch of salt to this book.

This title was fun to read. Mr. Bonanno was definitely an interesting individual. Really! But, there is something missing. Though I doubt that the government's prosecutorial attempts were all clean, I do think Mr. Bonanno sugarcoated his autobiography and left out his true criminal side. I know I couldn't write a biography about being a man of honor and Mr. Bonanno's attempt to convince Americans that he's an ordinary man just interested in doing business is full of holes. No one wants to read about an ordinary man doing business legally....generally.

This was a very good read as I enjoyed the information that this book made available.

Sincerely,
Kathy Klein

The book was a decent read but I found Bonanno to be quit repeatative at times. He goes on and on about the Sicilian way of life, and how American's more or less don't understand it. Furthermore he tiptoes around all violence that comes with being in the "Family" as he so eloquently puts it. I found it to be a little dry, not so "tell all", and in the end I find Mr. Bonanno using his Sicilian background and way of life as justification for being in organized crime. Although he himself would never admit that the "Family" he was apart of was organized crime, the crux of the book. He calls himself a "Man of Honor" yet he admitly cheats on his wife and lived a life ingrossed in organized crime, hypocritical to say the least.

Great historical piece although quite biased. Gives the reader good insight into the Sicilian philosophy of life and business. Excellent read if you have an historical interest in the mafia and organized crime.

I'm a big biography and true-crime fan, and have read hundreds of books in these genres. The quality of the writing is so variable in true crime that it is often a gamble when you buy one of these books. This story has so much potential to be gripping, moving, chilling, upsetting, enlightening, or SOMETHING - how could it end up being written so dully? Well, it was... dull. Deadly, horribly dull.

It was really skimpy on details, which I understand some readers may appreciate, since not everyone wants to know every grisly moment. OK, but if you're going to skip the scary/gross/perverted/evil minutiae, at least make it interesting somehow. This book was just sooo dull, dry, simplistic, and written at a fourth-grade reading level to boot.

Here, you don't need to buy it - literally here it is: there was this guy named Mike Debardeleben, who was obsessed with his overbearing, overweight mom (like all serial killers, yawn) and he traveled around doing various crimes, including counterfeiting (where did he get so skillful? Where did he get his equipment? I sure don't know), and raping and killing women. He was 100% evil and vile. Then he got caught due to the pure-hearted heroism of the federal agents and cops. They are 100% good. The cops thought alot of the evidence was yucky and it made them feel icky, but they didn't give up, and Mikey ended up in jail.

Real life isn't that black-and-white.

The story of Mike Debardeleben, as related in Stephen Michaud's recent publication, Beyond Cruel, is written more in textbook style than in standard true crime books. Instead of taking the facts and making an easy to reading, easily flowing story, Michaud's somewhat just list the facts paragraph by paragraph then breaks it further down into chapter by chapter.

And while Debardeleben's crimes were absolutely horrendous, I would not, by far, call him the most sadistic killer.

Also, be prepared to wade through tons of information about his counterfeiting crimes while looking for the "sadistic" part of the story.

The most interesting part to me was the epilogue that detailed follow up information on his children; especially the daughter that was placed for adoption at birth.

This book was a fast read partly because the author has written short chapters with specific titles. Every true crime writer is probably trying to find the next Ted Bundy. Mike is no Ted Bundy although he thinks he is smarter and more sophisticated but a student of the man's crimes. Mike is a very sick man who has done horrible acts of violence towards innocent women including his wives and other women like real estate agents. His murder count is a lot lower to our knowledge because it's possible that he killed more but won't talk about it. He's in jail for life. He did have a sick, perverse sexuality which featured unwilling participants in bondage. He murdered a couple of women and a man who ill-stricken in Greece, New York. There are pictures and some basic information about his crimes but not enough detail or thorough explanation of how he became a monster in human flesh.

This book was hard to read in my opinion. I was anxious to get to the end and felt as though I never would. One of the most aggravating things about this book was that the authour used the main character's full name every time he mentioned him. I finally just skipped over the name or just said 'MIKE' to myself.